Driftwood: sometimes following you dreams means breaking your heart (The Driftwood series Book 1) by Claire Gough (5)

Nope, not that one. I throw the red top into the growing pile of clothes on my bed.

Yes!

I grab the light blue, sparkly, long-sleeved V-neck jumper and pair it with the black skinny jeans I am dead set on wearing tonight. My straight blonde hair hangs loose around my face as I search for my Converse that match the colour of the jumper. I'm glad we’re going out on a Sunday night. Blackpool is usually quieter on Sundays as most visitors leave in the afternoon and the next batch of guests don’t usually arrive until Monday.

I refuse to get dressed up. This is not a date, as much as Fin and Bee seem to think it is. Jeans and a jumper will do just fine. I spray on my perfume, take a few deep breaths, then look in the mirror to study my grey eyes that sport eyeliner and mascara. Guess I’m ready. I slowly turn the handle on my bedroom door and walk through it. I can see the tops of Jill’s and Alistair’s heads over the sofa.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jill. I’m going out with Bailey. I don’t know what time I’ll be back, but I’ll still be able to work in the morning. Don’t worry,” I say to the back of Jill’s head. She’s sitting next to Alistair watching repeats of Surprise Surprise.

She waves at me over the sofa. I hate lying to her, but there’s no point in telling her about this confusing thing I have going on with Fin because, just like any other guy who’s been interested, this won’t last long.

I walk into the lobby and quickly shut the living quarter’s door behind me. That area is strictly off limits to guests. In reality, I am shutting the door quickly to keep in all my lies. It’s so not like me and I hate it.

“Hey.”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to hear that deep, sexy voice behind me, but I am. I slowly turn around. Fin’s wearing a white t-shirt under his leather jacket, his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. I can smell his aftershave from here. It smells like warm spices, mixed with the smell of his worn leather jacket. It’s a deep sensual scent. It makes my pulse race. I instantly want to wrap myself in his arms and rest my head on his chest.

“Hey,” I finally reply. I shrug into my black three-quarter length jacket and pull my long hair out over the collar. I smile as my gaze finally rests on his face. He looks like he’s genuinely happy to see me. I think he expected me to cancel.

“Come on.” I open the door, practically shooing him outside. I don’t want Jill to see us and realise Bailey isn’t involved in my plans at all. “So, what do you want to do?” I ask as we walk down the steps of the guest house.

“Well, I have no idea where anything is in Blackpool. Maybe you can show me around a little.”

I smile. That leaves me completely in control of the evening. I like that.

“Do you like ice cream?” I ask.

He smirks. “Who doesn’t?”

When I start walking, he falls into step next to me.

“It’s a long walk, but it’s worth it,” I add. He nods, his hands still in his pockets as he looks at me sideways.

When we get to the seafront, I lean on the wall and see the tide is out. I turn to look at Fin standing behind me.

“Fancy walking on the beach? It seems to go quicker that way.”

He smiles. “That sounds perfect.”

I lead him down the huge, winding steps to the sand.

It’s louder down here, but the noise of the sea is hard to avoid. Maybe that’s why we have walked in silence since we stepped onto the sand. It’s nice, though. I don’t feel the need to fill the silence just yet. I’m enjoying walking along the beach next to him, the Sunday evening sun turning the sky shades of red, yellow, and orange, the breeze carrying the smell of ocean and Fin.

He steps closer so I can hear him over the wind and waves. “So that was your aunt who served us breakfast this morning?” he asks. My heart stutters in my chest. He’s so close, his elbow touches mine as he walks with his hands still in his pockets.

“Yeah. She’s amazing.”

“Your uncle seems nice, too.”

“Oh, Alistair isn’t my uncle.”

He frowns. “I’m sorry. I just—”

I wave him off. “It’s okay. My uncle Bert died when I was fourteen. Cancer.” I shrug, like it’s nothing. It was something at one time. I remember it all too well. My Aunt had already been through so much… We both had. Just four short years after our life had already been turned upside down, we lost my uncle Bert.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Alex.”

“It’s okay. We’re both fine now. It broke my heart to watch her go through that, though. It didn’t seem fair. I…” I pause. How much do I actually want to tell Fin about my gruesome past?

I shake my head and look up at him with a smile. “We got through it.” He doesn’t smile back as he studies my face. “It actually bought us even closer together.”

The corners of his lips turn up a little. “I guess that’s the only silver lining in something so heartbreaking. I’m sorry you both went through something like that, though.”

“Don’t be. We’ve been through worse.” I almost snigger at my own words as I watch my Converse make little dents in the wet sand, only to disappear seconds later as the water seeps back in.

“There’s more?”

I still watch my feet, not answering. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t know if I want to share what happened with him, but I know I certainly don’t want to share it on our first date.

Wait. Did I just admit this was a date?

“So, other than the band, what do you do for fun?” I ask, changing the subject. He doesn’t push. For that, I’m grateful.

“Music is pretty much my main focus right now. I like to cook, though. I’m not great at it, but I’m better than the rest of the guys.”

I look at him as we walk. He smiles, but I can see something sad in his eyes. Has that always been there and I’ve been too busy keeping him at arm’s length to notice? He didn’t push the subject I didn’t want to talk about, so I guess I won’t ask him why he seems so sad.

“You like rollercoasters?” I ask as we look up at The Big Wheel on Central Pier right in front of us. I could never figure out how, but the journey from north to south always seemed quicker on the sand.

He smiles. “I do, actually.”

“I’ll take you one day this week,” I offer before I can stop myself. His smile widens, realising I see this going on past tonight.

Dammit!

“A second date?” he asks, gently nudging me with his shoulder. I can’t help but smile.

“Maybe.” I slide my arm though his as we walk.

“Tell me about Cowley, Fin,” I say, my voice raised. I strain to hear his reply over not only the wind and the sea, but now, with his arm around mine, over the loud beating of my heart.

“It's a tiny, dead town. The only thing really going on there is a car factory.” His voice is flat. He looks at me. I nod as I think about how dull he’s making Cowley seem. It can’t really be that bad, can it?

“That’s where you work, where you met the rest of the guys, right?”

“Yeah. I actually met Brad a few months before the rest of the guys.” He glances up at the pier as we walk under it, avoiding puddles as we go.

“How did you meet Bee?” he asks. I smile at the question.

“When I moved to Blackpool and started school, the teachers made Bee show me around the place. We have been together ever since.”

He nods, smiling. I wonder if he’s thinking of little eleven-year-old Bailey and Alex like I am.

“Where did you move from?” he asks, not realising that question makes my heart sink. I look down at my shoes, mustering up the strength to reply.

“Birmingham.” I blink. My eyelids feel heavy, my eyes burning. I blink some more.

“Wow. So you’re a Brummie?” His voice is still light, but I don’t feel light at all.

“Yeah, I guess I was.”

The truth is I don’t remember too much of my life back in Birmingham. I mean, I was ten when I had to leave, so I do have memories, but it feels like they are all a little out of reach, blurry. It’s such a scary thought to me. One day, all the memories from that part of my life might completely slip away.

“Why did you move to Blackpool?”

I shrug. “Life happened, I guess.”

Time to change the subject.

“How are you all allowed the same week off from work?” I ask.

“Shutdown. All car factories usually have two weeks in the summer when they shut down,” he answers, like he’s been trained to give that exact reply.

“Lucky me.” I smile at him.

My response must have caught him off guard because he smiles and rubs his hand over the top of mine. I shiver under his touch.

“You cold?”

I shake my head, my teeth chattering. “No, actually, I’m not.”

He nods, smirking, as if he knows I’m reacting to him.

“Come on.” He leads me up the nearby stairs to the road, then he stops, as if suddenly realising he has no clue where he is.

“How long before we get to the ice cream place?”

I point. “That street there.”

He looks around the streets of Blackpool, the wind blowing us about. “Let’s get chips first. It will help warm you up.”

He takes hold of my wrist and slides his hand down into mine, lacing our fingers together, like they were always meant to be there. He gives my hand a small squeeze, as if to make sure it is secure in his.

I look up at him helplessly. God, that feels amazing. His hand has to be as cold as mine, but as soon as our skin touches, I feel the warmth quickly spreading. He looks down at our hands, then back at me. I know he feels it, too. He smiles before tugging me across the road to a tiny chip bar.

We walk along the street in happy silence as we eat our chips. I look at him out of the corner of my eye every now and then, seeing him doing the same. It doesn’t feel weird, though. It feels strangely normal.

“Ready for the best ice cream you’ll ever taste?” I ask. He smiles as he takes the empty cones of chips, putting them in a bin as we pass.

“That is a very bold statement, but yes, I am.”

I lead him to Notarianni Ice Cream Parlour and order two tubs of plain vanilla. Fin lets me order, which is the best thing to do. Let a pro show you the ropes. The ice cream from this place doesn’t need any fancy toppings or pretty sprinkles. Covering it with too much can ruin the whole thing.

I turn to look at him over my shoulder. “Blue or green?” I ask.

His lips turn into a curious smile. “Um, blue, I guess.”

I request blue sauce on both, then watch the lady stab the two tubs with two little plastic spoons. They look perfect. I pay and hand Fin his ice cream before picking mine up.

We walk back across the road to the steps leading down to the beach. I sit on the top one, looking down into my tub of gorgeous ice cream. I feel Fin sit right next to me on the step. I watch as he takes his first taste. He closes his eyes and groans before looking at me.

He swallows, then points at the tub. “Best ice cream I’ve ever tasted!”

I just nod and laugh. “I told ya.” I start eating my own tub of frozen loveliness.

After a few minutes, I ask, “So, are you guys hoping to get signed or something?”

“Cole’s doing all he can to get us noticed. He has a friend up here who’s trying to get us more and more gigs.”

“Why here?” I look at him briefly.

He shrugs. “Brad wanted Jay to come here for his unofficial stag do, and Cole wanted to spend the entire two weeks from work promoting the band. This is a weird compromise of the two.”

“And what do you want, Fin?”

He scoffs. “God knows.” Confusion passes over his face. At this moment, he looks so lost. I wish I could help him, but how can I when I have no clue what’s bothering him?

He looks at me. “What about you, Alex? What do you want for the future?”

I open my mouth, then shut it. It’s something that has been on my mind a lot lately, but I find it hard to talk about because it means an end to the life I know, the life I have clung to since I was ten. I feel my heart hammering in my chest as I realise I am actually going to say it out loud.

“I’m…” I sigh and close my eyes. This is stupid. I shake my head. Talking about something you want should be easy. “I want to open my own B&B.” I take in a huge gulp of air and fill my lungs with it. Saying it out loud feels so alien.

“Is that what you’re going to do?”

I freeze. That’s the question I've been asking myself for months now.

“You say that like its simple.”

“It’s not, but you’re the one who just said it’s what you want.”

I turn to look at him. “It is what I want.”

He frowns at me. “I feel like there’s a ‘but’ here.”

I stab my plastic spoon into the last little lump of ice cream floating in my tub. I suddenly don’t feel so hungry.

“You’re good at this,” I scoff. He laughs slightly, making his thigh rub on mine.

“So… Are you going to do it, Alex?” He sets his tub down on the step and turns to face me.

“I don’t know.” I shrug, feeling lost. I gaze into those deep, dark eyes. Something about him makes me feel so comfortable. “I’ve wanted my own B&B since I was around fourteen. I now have the money to make the move, to start looking for a place, but…” I look at him, seeing him smirk, “I’m finding it hard to actually make a move.”

I feel like I just put part of myself out for him to see. I kind of expect him to laugh because the thought of me running my own place is ridiculous, even to me.

“What’s the main thing holding you back?” he asks softly. His accent sounds soothing right now. He also isn’t laughing at me.

“My aunt Jill. Alistair and I are all she has.” I feel like crying at the thought of telling her I’m moving on.

“I’m sure she'd want you to live your life, though, Alex.”

I look up at him, trying to hide the tears in my eyes. “That’s what she says all the time.” I try to smile, but it’s more of a grimace. “She knows it’s what I want. For years, it’s all I’ve worked for, saving all my money just to get my own place. I think she even knows I have enough saved now to move on, but she won’t mention it.”

“So if she knows about it and cares about you enough to let you live your own life, what’s really holding you back?” I stare up into his dark brown eyes and feel something inside me crack. The tears that have been stinging my eyes threaten to spill over the edge.

“I just feel so selfish.” I run the back of my finger under my eye to catch the moisture, then wipe it on my jeans.

Fin slides his arm around my shoulders and pulls me toward him, resting my head on his chest. I feel so safe and protected. It makes it seem okay to feel sorry for myself. How messed up is that? I feel the tears in my eyes again as I breathe in Fin’s now familiar smell. I squeeze my eyes shut and let the tears fall.

I take a few deeps breaths, then lift my head. He leaves his arm loosely draped around me, just in case I break again.

“After everything my aunt has done for me, I feel selfish wanting to move on, move out. How do I look her in the eyes and say, ‘Hey, Jill, thanks for everything, but I’m going now’?”

He smiles and reaches out, running a finger under my eye, catching a tear I missed. “Alex, you know your aunt better than anyone. Do you really think she’s going to mind? If anything, I think she would be proud of you, and I think she’d be proud of herself for watching you move on and succeed. I’m guessing she taught you all you know about the business, right?”

I blink a few times at his words. Wow, he’s good at this.

“I guess I never thought of it like that.”

“Of course you didn’t because this is a huge thing, Alex. Your next move is vital and scary as hell. Your mind will look for ways and reasons to back out. Don’t let self-doubt stop you. Trust me, you’ll kick yourself if you don’t at least try.”

I look into his eyes. He seems so wise, like he really knows what he’s talking about. I want to know so much more about Finnley.

I wipe my eyes again to make sure all my tears are gone. I feel like a total mess now. Part of me hates that Fin saw me so vulnerable. At the same time, his words make sense. I hardly know this guy, but here I am…in his arms, feeling so safe, telling him my hopes and fears.

I pull out of his grasp. If I don’t, I’ll be here all night. But it feels so nice, and he smells like home.

“So, now you know everything.” I smile at him, feeling stupid for letting myself get so vulnerable.

“I guess.” He smirks.

I frown at him. “You guess?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t know everything I wanted to know.”

“What else did you want to know?” I smirk back, flirting.

“Well… I still don’t know if you have a new boyfriend every week.” He playfully nudges me with his shoulder and laughs. I shake my head, giggling. Everything between us seems normal again, like I didn’t just have a meltdown.

“Come on. Let’s walk back,” I say, standing. His chestnut hair blows in the wind. In the little light from the setting sun, I can see his hair has a gorgeous red tinge to it.

He bites his lip as he squints up at me, the sun in his eyes. I step in front of it so a shadow falls over him. He smiles up at me, then rises from the step, his eyes on mine the whole time.

“Okay,” he finally replies, sliding his hand into mine.

“Thank you,” Fin says as we walk back toward The Driftwood. We were talking about B&B’s, good experiences and bad ones. I had started bullying him into giving us a good review on Trip Advisor when he randomly said thank you. I look around, trying and figure out what he’s thanking me for. I look down at our joined hands.

“For…letting you hold my hand?” I ask, frowning.

He laughs a little. “Well, yeah. For that, too, but I meant telling me about you.”

“And my stupid fears?” I look at my feet for a moment before lifting my eyes to his

He shrugs. “Yeah, that.”

I bite my lip. I still can’t quite believe how emotional I let myself get in front of him. I feel embarrassed just from him bringing it up again.

“It means a lot to me that you shared that,” he says, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. “All I asked from you was the chance to get to know you and you’re letting me, so thank you.”

If he really means that and it’s not just some line, I guess I don’t feel as embarrassed by my outburst. I do think he should share something with me, though. That’s only fair, right?

“Are you thankful enough that you’ll tell me your first name?” I ask, making him laugh.

He shakes his head. “Not a chance.”

“What’s so bad about your name?”

“It’s...” His eyebrows pinch together as he thinks about his answer. “It’s just so Cowley, it’s embarrassing.”

“Oh, I get it now. You think your name might embarrass you in front of your latest conquest.”

He stops dead in his tracks, looking at me intently. “Alex…” He shakes his head, looking down at the ground. He sighs and lifts his head to look at me. “I told you, this isn’t about sex.”

At the mention of sex, my blood pressure spikes. I’m having a hard time believing it’s about anything but sex. I nod, not knowing what to say because I know we won’t agree on this point. I hate that this might just be a game to him and that I am being played. The more I refuse to let him in, the more of a challenge I become. I just confessed my hopes and fears to him. Will he use them against me at some point to get me to trust him and somehow lure me into bed?

I hate the image that my own mind keeps throwing back at me of him going back to his bandmates, all of them laughing that I fell for it, that I let him get what he wanted.

No, I can’t let that happen.

“It’s just embarrassing,” he adds, breaking me out of my own thoughts. He starts walking again. With his hand still in mine, I have no choice but to start walking again, too. I think he knows I don’t believe this little thing between us isn’t all about sex to him.

“So, Fin, I’m curious. What did you say to the guys after you realised I was running the B&B and that we’d already met?” I ask, changing the subject.

He laughs. “Honestly?” I look up at him and nod. “Well, first, I went straight to Cole’s room and politely asked him to stay away from you.” His cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink.

“What?” I laugh.

He scratches the back of his head with his free hand for a second, then lets it drop, chuckling.

“As we talked to you that first night, I noticed the way he looked at you, so we had a chat.”’ I can’t help but feel a little flattered.

“And what did he say?” I ask.

He looks down at me, almost like he’s contemplating whether he should say anything.

“He admitted he was thinking of making a move on you, but since I actually met you first, he said he’d back off.”

“I can’t believe you’re telling me this.” I shake my head and giggle like a schoolgirl.

“Neither can I, to be honest, but I feel comfortable with you.” He smiles a sweet smile, and I know exactly how he feels. That exact feeling is what made me pour my heart out to him.

“So… What if Cole had been the one who met me in the shop that day? Would you have backed off?”

He looks into my eyes, as if seriously contemplating his answer. He searches my face for a moment…until his lips turn into that sexy sideways smile and his hand tightens on mine.

“Probably not.”

I can’t speak. All words have evaporated out of my head, so we walk on in silence.

When we come to the street leading to The Driftwood, Fin lets go of my hand. He walks over to the wall overlooking the sea and leans on it. The breeze ruffles his hair as he stares at the waves, the tide coming in. I walk over and lean on the wall right next him, my right arm touching his left as we both look out to sea.

“So are you going to go after Cole instead now?” he asks. I look at him just as he turns his head to face me, a smirk on his face.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Haven’t decided.” He playfully nudges me. It’s something so simple, yet it makes my heart pound. “Not a chance, Fin.”

I lean my head on his shoulder, letting out a huge sigh. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I have started to let Fin in…and I like it. That feeling alone is so confusing. I don’t do the whole dating thing. I can usually take it or leave it, but I can already feel the pull to Fin getting stronger every minute I’m around him.

Bee's words echo in my mind. This will end with you crying on my shoulder.

She’s right. I feel it as I stand here with my cheek pressed against his leather jacket. I need to decide how to deal with this connection I feel. I honestly don’t think I have the strength to stop it anymore.

I push myself away from the wall. I take a deep breath and step toward the guest house, hoping a little bit of distance from him will help me think a bit more clearly.

“Alex?” he asks. His voice sounds so heavy.

I stand still, my back to him, and squeeze my eyes shut. I guess I’m not going to get a minute to clear my head after all. Maybe my connection to him works both ways. I think he can sense me trying to pull away from him, or trying to.

“Okay, so we went out. Now what?” I ask him loudly, practically shouting over the roar of the sea, my back still to him.

I feel him moving until he’s standing right in front of me. He’s stunning. The sun setting behind me reflects in his eyes as the breeze keeps rearranging his hair into many different styles, each one suiting him perfectly. He frowns at me.

“I mean, did you even think that far ahead? What happens next, Fin?”

He sighs in defeat. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”

“What were you hoping to achieve tonight?” I ask, getting slightly angry. I’m starting to feel things for him, things I didn’t want to, and it’s all his fault. I would have been just fine if he had left me alone like I wanted. He was the one who wanted this. He wanted tonight to happen, not me.

“I don’t know! I just knew I wanted to spend more time with you. Now…” He shrugs helplessly. I watch his tense shoulders relax, his voice softening. “Now I want to spend even more time with you.” His brown eyes meet mine. My heart swells a little more…and I hate it.

“We don’t have time, Fin. We have a week.”

“I’ll take a week over nothing.”

He watches me for a long moment. I can’t speak because I don’t know what to say. I see his jaw clench tightly as he shakes his head.

“And the seriously frustrating thing is you’re still not willing to do that, are you?” he says through gritted teeth.

He’s actually angry with me?

“Can you really blame me, Fin?” I snap. “This is a holiday for you, all fun and games, but it’s not for me. This is my life! Once you’re gone, I'm the one left here.”

“I know that, Alex. We can’t change the circumstances. What I can change is how I spend my week while I’m here.” He looks so frustrated as he shakes his head, trying to think of a way to convince me. “I don’t want to spend what’s left of my week here watching you every day, wondering what it would be like to get to know you.”

He looks lost. I feel lost. I have no idea what to do because he’s right, but what if it’s all part of his plan to lure me into his bed?

“Why me?” I ask, watching him closely.

I watch as he steps closer to me until he's only a foot away. I swallow hard as his eyes lock on mine. He’s so close, I can smell his aftershave again. He holds his hand up, the palm facing me.

“Put your hand against mine.”

I look at it. I already know the point he's trying to make before I even let my skin touch his.

“Alex…” He nods to his hand.

I sigh and put my palm against his, feeling the shot of electricity through my hand, down my arm, right into my chest. He intertwines his fingers with mine, squeezing. I bite my lip. It’s hard not to groan at how good this feels.

“I know you feel that, too. The look on your face every time I’ve touched you. The first time I shook your hand in the lobby, holding hands walking down the street tonight.”

I look down at my feet. His skin on mine doesn’t help clear my mind at all. In fact, it has quite the opposite effect.

“I still can’t get over that this might all be a huge plan just to get me into bed,” I whisper in a weak, shaky voice, his intense, brown eyes staring into mine.

“I couldn’t fake this feeling, Alex.” He squeezes my hand, sending more electricity shooting through my body. We stand there, looking into each other’s eyes, as I try to figure out if this could be a trick. If it is, how is he doing it?

“Okay,” I finally say.

He steps even closer to me, my hand still in his. “Okay?” He sounds astonished.

“Yes, but I have some rules.”

“Rules?” He nods. He seems willing to agree to anything, as long as I agree to this.

“Rule one. No falling for each other. We only have a week. We need to remember that. Falling for each other would be stupid.”

He smirks and bites his lip to stop himself from smiling. He nods, not saying a word.

“Rule two.” I feel my heart beating in every cell of my body. “No sex.” I watch him intently to see any clue that I’ve just spoiled his plan. That’s the main reason I’m making it a rule, though. He nods, which I can’t believe. If I am just one big game amongst him and his buddies, not having sex with him will guarantee I don’t embarrass myself…right?

“Just a week-long summer fling, then it’s back to our own lives like nothing happened,” I say, trying to keep my voice very matter-of-fact.

“A summer fling, no sex,” he agrees. “That’ll be easy, Alex. I told you this wasn’t about sex. I meant it.”

I wish I didn’t gulp when he said sex, but it sounds so sexy in his posh accent.

We stand quietly for a minute, my hand still in his.

“Is that it?” he asks, raising an eyebrow

“I’m only going to do this if I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes,” I say, trying to stay strong as I look at him. It’s hard when he’s all windswept and gorgeous.

“Toes?” He cocks his head to one side, smirking.

God, he’s killing me here. Why does he have to be so goddamn sexy?

I swallow. “If there is even a hint of a girlfriend back in Oxford, Fin, you need to tell me now. I am not going to mess around with some poor girl’s boyfriend.”

He nods. “There is no one waiting for me in Oxford, Alex. No one at all.” He tries not to smile at the fact I’m actually considering this. “How about you? Any guys I should be worried about while I’m here?” I wish I could lie in order to see his reaction, but I can’t.

“No, there's no one.”

As soon as the words leave my lips, he tugs on my hand and pulls me to him. My chest collides with his and I look up into those gorgeous brown eyes.

Jesus, I can’t breathe. How do I make my lungs work again?

“So those are your terms and conditions?” he asks softly, but each word vibrates through me. I feel every muscle in his body, and it’s making me dizzy.

I nod because that’s all I can do. I can’t speak. I feel the heat of his chest through his white t-shirt, his warm breath on my skin making me shiver.

He tips my chin up with his finger. “Then we have a deal.” His lips softly touch mine.

The moment they do, I melt. His hand slides around the back of my neck and up into my hair, keeping my mouth on his as I slowly kiss him back. The electricity between us is now magnified. My legs feel weak. The only sounds I can hear are my heartbeat and the tide, which now seems so distant.

I slide my arm under his jacket and around his waist, making him moan into my mouth. I trail my other hand up his back, causing him to moan again. I swallow the sound as it vibrates against my lips.

He places his arm around me, holding me to him. His tongue slowly starts to massage mine, causing me to groan into his mouth. I feel his lips turn up slightly, obviously happy with the way my body is reacting.

When his lips start to slow, I sink my fingers into his back, desperate to keep his lips on mine. Gradually, he pulls away and rests his forehead on mine. We’re both silent as we stand there, trying to catch our breath.

“Jesus,” he whispers, eyes still closed.

I bite my lip to stop myself from kissing him again. It’s all I've wanted to do since I saw those lips, and they taste sweeter than I’d ever imagined.

He finally opens his eyes to look into mine. I can already feel myself wanting to break both my stupid rules. His eyes, which are now a golden colour, stare into mine. I’m taking full responsibility for that colour change. I haven't seen his eyes that colour before our lips met. It is truly beautiful.

“You have to honour our deal now. We kissed on it.” He’s still a little breathless.

I move one hand from around his waist and run it into his hair. His eyes close. I feel a familiar longing in the pit of my stomach as I press my lips back to his. His grip on me tightens. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with not being able to do this once he leaves, but right now, I agree with what Fin just said. I must see this through because there is definitely something between us.

I pull away and look at him. “That was just to make sure we really sealed the deal.” He smirks at me as I reluctantly let go of him.

I called Bee the very second I stepped back into my room. I had to tell her everything about my night. Of course, she doesn’t agree with rule number two, and she doesn’t believe I can stick to rule number one. I won’t tell her it’s already hard enough to stick to both. I hate being told I told you so, so that should help me keep my own rules. I'm not worried about rule number one… Okay, I am a little. But rule number two will help keep rule number one. Sex can change things, make you think you feel something you don’t when you’re caught up in the moment.

I bite my lip as I stare at the ceiling. I think I’m trying to delude myself. Fin and I exchanged numbers, deciding if we are going to keep seeing each other all week, we will need to communicate. He hasn’t wasted any time.

I smirk. I can hear his voice in my head as I read it. Another text comes immediately after.

I just stare at my phone. It really was the most amazing kiss I’ve ever experienced. It was probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.

How do I reply? I can’t stop thinking about it, either, but should I tell him that? I told him so much already. I cringe. I still can’t believe I told him all that on a first date. My phone vibrates in my hand.

I can’t help but smile at the fact that he's obviously still thinking about me and it’s almost 11:00pm. I better reply or he'll think I’ve gone to sleep on him.

I am being completely honest. As much as I want to spend time with him, I still have a job and he has his friends.

I smile to myself and type out a reply.

I hit SEND. Almost instantly, I get a text back.