Three months later
“In a minute. It’s not like you’re going to be late for work. It’s Saturday,” I yell through the kitchen door. Bee is sitting in the lounge, impatiently waiting for her breakfast.
It’s taken a few months to finish the rooms and redecorate the building, but it’s done. I only moved my own things in and started living here a week ago. Since then, Bee has spent some nights, keeping me company until my first guests arrive in a week or so.
In return, I offered her the first breakfast cooked in the kitchen of The Dukes Guest House. I look at the photo of my mom and me that is now on my windowsill and smile. I hope she can see this and is proud of me.
I plate up the two breakfasts and take them out to the table where Bee’s sitting.
“I know it’s Saturday, but I have a lunch date with James. I won’t be able to even eat lunch if I don’t get breakfast out of the way soon.” She smiles up at me.
“Uh-huh.” I slide into my seat. I watch Bee dig into her breakfast. This is one of the moments I was looking forward to. All my firsts in this place.
“What time is the sign being fitted?” Bee asks around a mouthful of egg.
“Eleven thirty,” I say, looking up at the clock on the wall behind my stocked bar. It’s only nine now.
“Crap. I won’t be here!”
“No. You’ll be out with James.” I stick my tongue out, making her scowl.
The red sign, The Dukes Guest House in huge white letters, is the last thing to be added. Well, aside from some air fresheners, pictures, and vases for the rooms. To be honest, the sign is the one bit I’m looking forward to the most. That’s the moment my dream will be real.
As we finish breakfast, Bee looks happy. “You’re going to do so well, Alex.”
I wish I shared her optimism, but now that it’s all real, I am so scared. Running this place on my own is going to take every ounce of strength in me. I know I can do it, but I’m still so scared.
“When do you open?” she asks.
“I have an online booking for the twenty-fourth.” Saying that out loud fills me with pleasure and dread at the same time. Bee is silent for a long moment.
“Are you going to tell him?” Bee asks. I don’t need to ask who she means.
I sigh. “Bailey, we've been through this.” I grab our empty plates and take them into the kitchen.
She follows me. “Come on. You promised you’d tell him when you opened.”
“Yeah, well, I lied. He's in a band, a band that’s doing well right now.”
I know that part for a fact. A CD arrived at The Driftwood about two weeks after he left. Plus, and I’ve kept this from Bee, I finally joined the world of Facebook, under a fake name, just to look at the band page every now and then. They now have their own website up and running. I think about looking at it most nights, then get scared that I’m going to see Mitch with some other girl. I know it has to happen someday, but I don’t want to see it. That’s why we agreed not to stay in touch.
“Alex…,” she says softly.
“Bailey!” I snap.
She holds her hands up in defence. I feel like crap for shouting. I know I shouldn’t. My nerves are all over the place, and as much as everyone told me it would get easier being without Mitch, it hasn’t. It didn’t get easier. I just got busier. Making sure my days were filled with paint tins and plastic dust sheets. The main reason I’m going to open so soon is because I worked and worked so I didn’t feel the pain from not having him with me. My nights are harder. The hole in my chest is still very much there and harder to ignore at night. That’s why I filled a lot of nights building flat pack furniture.
“Sorry,” I sigh.
She smiles. “It’s okay. At the end of the day, it’s your call. I know you have a lot on your mind right now. But you should also know I’m here for you.” She hugs me. I squeeze her tightly.
“Thank you.” I step back and smile my best fake smile. “Now go. Don’t keep James waiting.” I grasp her shoulders and turn her toward the door.
“You sure you’re going to be okay?”
“Of course. My sign’s coming.”
She walks backwards until she’s out the kitchen door. I wait until I hear the front door close, then my face falls. I look at my mother’s smiling face in the photo.
“When does it get easier, Mom?” I ask. It’s never gotten easier losing my parents. Will it ever get easier losing Mitch? The way I feel now, even three months down the line, I doubt it. It still feels as fresh as the day I stood and watched him leave.
* * *
Once the kitchen is clean, I walk down to my room. Even though Mitch has never been in this one, everything reminds me of him. That’s my fault for painting the main wall in here gold to match his eyes. I know that’s so stupid, but I love that colour and I wanted to hold onto it. I’m still not sure I got it right.
I make my way to the dresser and my secret drawer. I open it and smile, tears in my eyes. I pull out Mitch’s green t-shirt I wore the first night I spent with him. I lift it to my face and inhale deeply. I can still faintly smell his aftershave on it.
God, I miss him so much.
“Hello? Miss?” I hear a male voice from upstairs.
I quickly shove the t-shirt back into the drawer, setting it on top of Mitch’s letter and CD, and slam it shut.
“Coming!” I shout and jog back up to the lobby.
“Sorry we’re early. We’re here to fit your sign,” a large, bald fellow with a grey beard says, smiling.
I smile. “Perfect.”
* * *
I have been waiting for this exact moment for years. I’ve been standing here for the past hour. I signed the paperwork, making a lame excuse not to go rushing out to look at the sign right away. Instead, I stood and watched them leave. I’m still standing in the lounge. I’m scared. I look at the clock. They left forty minutes ago, but I still haven’t been able to walk out there.
“Come on, Alex. This is what you’ve been waiting for!” I scold myself, wringing my hands.
Okay, let’s do this.
I open the door, the breeze hitting me straight away. I shiver. I slowly walk down the drive, my heart beating in my ears. I haven’t felt my heart beat quite like this in three months. I take a few deep breaths, then slowly turn.
Oh, my god! It’s real!
Tears fill my eyes as I look up. The background of the huge sign that runs across the top of the lounge window is red, the writing white. I rest my hands on my hips and bite my lip. I never thought I’d see this day. I’m physically and mentally worn out. I’ve been working toward this for most of my life!
This is for you, Mom and Dad. This is for the best ten years I could have wished for with you. I hope you’re proud of me and you can share in it as I fill it with happiness on your behalf.
I let out a huge sigh. It’s all been worth it. The hard work isn’t over now, though. In fact, it’s just starting. In exactly one week, I have my first guests.
“I heard you might be looking for some help.” I hear a voice behind me.
Every single hair on my body stands on end. I feel a familiar tingling in my chest as I slowly turn around. My breathing stops.
“Mitch?” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears.
This can’t be real. Have I imagined him? Have I thought about him hard enough that I’ve actually dreamed him into existence?
Wait. His hair is a little bit longer. If this were a dream or a memory, how would I imagine his hair longer?
He's leaning against his car parked at the bottom of the drive, his arms folded across his chest, crooked smile firmly in place. He's in a white t-shirt, black jeans, and boots. God, he looks gorgeous. More gorgeous than my memory ever remembered.
He glances up at the sign. “I hate to tell you this, Lexi, but I think it’s crooked.” He smiles cheekily. I know I should laugh, but I’m still in shock.
“Mitch… How… Why…” I slowly walk toward him. I glance around, wincing. “I’m sorry. I mean, Fin.”
He shakes his head, standing straight as I reach him. “No, it’s Mitch.” I can smell him, my whole body reacting to him right away.
I know there are so many things I should say or do. Instead, I throw my arms around his neck and crash my lips to his. Yes, he is definitely real. His arms circle my waist and hold me tightly. I feel the familiar warmth and electricity running through me once more. It feels incredible! I slide my hands down to rest on his chest, feeling his heart pounding against my palm.
I slowly pull away and look into those gorgeous eyes I have missed so much. The gold colour of my room doesn’t compare at all.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” I’m not sorry at all.
“Why?” he asks, frowning, his arms still around me.
“You might be with someone else now.” I start to blush. I probably should have controlled myself a bit better.
“Not a chance, Lexi. There hasn’t been anyone.”
Not wanting to show my relief, I glance at the ground, then back at him. “How are you here?”
“I’m back and I’m staying…if you'll have me.” His arms drop from around me, then he nervously tucks his hands into his pockets.
I smile, even though my heart doesn’t want to believe his words. He can’t stay. He has a life somewhere else. I can’t let myself start to believe he's back. It will break me to say goodbye to him again.
“What?” I frown.
“Well, a little bird told me... Well, more like a little Bee told me that you’re opening in a week.” He smirks.
Bloody Bailey! I’ll kill her…wait, or will I?
“Bailey told you?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah. Bee and I have talked off and on for three months. She’s kept me filled in on a few things. I asked her to keep an eye on you for me. Please, forgive her and me. I just couldn't leave and not know how you’re doing, Lex.” Tears fill my eyes. I’d be angry at them both if it weren’t so sweet.
“This whole time?”
He smirks. “Yeah. I know quite a bit. I know you officially moved in here a week ago. I know you haven’t drank since the night you got drunk at that club. I know you sometimes sleep in the t-shirt I left with you.” He raises a brow.
“Great.” I laugh. He knows everything, but I haven’t gotten a clue about his life the past three months.
“And Bee also told me that the day I drove off, before I even got to the end of the street, you said—”
“I loved you.”
He smiles. God, I have missed that smile so much. I slide my arms around his neck. The electricity is still there, the same as it always has been.
“I should have told you before you left, but it seemed so stupid. I only knew you for a week. It’s been three months, but nothing has changed, Mitch.” He wraps his arms around me again, smiling down at me. “I love you, Mitchell Finnley.” It feels so good to finally say it out loud.
He closes his eyes, like he's been waiting the entire three months to hear those words. “I love you, too, Lexi.”
He leans down. When his lips touch mine, it’s like a shot to the heart. My whole body feels alive again, like I’ve been living a black-and-white life since he left and now everything is in colour again. My body melts into his. He slowly pulls away from me.
“I don’t care how long you’re here this time. I needed you to know how I felt.” I bite my lip.
“Lexi, I meant what I said. I am here for good, if you'll have me.
“How?”
“You really want to have this conversation here?” He smiles, looking around, then back at me.
“No. Come on in and see what I’ve done to the place.” I slide my hand into his and lead him up the steps.
* * *
“Coffee?” I ask as I move to the work surface that holds my mugs. I feel Mitch’s hands slide around me from behind, pressing me against the counter.
“God, I’ve missed you, Lexi,” he breathes into my ear. He moves my hair to one side and kisses my neck, then my shoulder. It feels so good to have his lips on my skin again. I feel his body heat. I can’t take it anymore.
I turn around in his arms and face him. He bends down, our lips connecting. My hands tangle in his hair as his tongue meets mine. I groan into his mouth
I pull away quickly. “Emergency stop!”
He laughs, but I need space. It’s been so long, and his touch is really intoxicating. It wipes everything else from my mind, but I have so many questions right now.
“Good call,” he says. “I’ll make us coffee.” He moves around the kitchen just as easily as he did in The Driftwood. I watch him, a smile on my face.
I sit in the lounge and wait, letting my heart recover a little.
Mitch brings two cups to my window seat. I haven’t sat here yet, but I like it. This will be my new favourite place. I stare at Mitch, waiting for him to explain. He sits on one of my new breakfast chairs. I’m just glad it didn’t collapse because I built those myself.
“Where do I start?” he asks.
“Well, how about how can you be here to stay?”
“I’m only here to stay if you want me?”
Oh, my god. That has to be the stupidest thing he's ever said. I will always want him!
“But the guys… The band… Your job…”
“I got made redundant from my job as soon as we got back, which didn’t bother me. I took it and tried to concentrate on the band. I really did, Alex.” I sip my coffee, my eyes fixed on him. “The band is doing really well.”
“If the band’s doing well, why are you here?”
He takes a sip of his coffee, then puts it down. He looks at me, like he doesn’t know how to say what he needs to say next.
“The first thing you need to realise is the band getting signed was never my dream. It was Cole’s. I just went along with it because the guys were all I had. I couldn’t go back to my parents in Suffolk, so the guys became my family.” He sighs. “Bee said you read my letter?” I nod. “I meant what I said. You are the only thing that has felt like home to me since I was nineteen.”
I gulp my hot coffee, burning my throat all the way down.
“I tried to carry on with the band. I’ve written so many songs since I left. No matter how many I wrote or how many gigs we played, all I could think about was you.”
I blink at him, pretty sure I’m dreaming. I’m scared to say anything, but above all else, I am scared to let myself believe this. If it isn’t true, it’s going to break me. I can’t say goodbye to him again. I just can’t.
“The guys have a great new drummer. His name’s Tom. Nice guy, talented. I helped with the auditions.” He smiles. I wish I could return it, but he’s just told me he’s stepped down from the band for what? Me? That’s too much pressure! It’s not like I can talk him out of it. They’ve already found a replacement. I know he’s done it this way because if he would had told me all this first, I would have tried my hardest to keep him with the guys, with his family.
“But you write all their songs.”
He nods. “And I have already signed a contract to keep writing songs for them. I get royalties for each one they record. I’m sure the money from that could come in handy around here.” He looks around the lounge. “You’ve done a great job, Lexi. The place looks great.”
I blink, frowning. He has thought all this through.
“Wait. This is too much to take in.” I stand, running my hands through my hair.
“Lexi, I knew if I told you any of this before, you would have tried to stop me. You have to believe me. This is what I want.”
I look at him and run my hands through my hair again. There is nothing more I want than to keep him with me, but it feels like too much. I get my B&B and my happily ever after with the guy of my dreams? What’s the catch?
“You’re really here to stay?” I ask, my voice shaking.
He stands, walking toward me. “I'll say it one more time, Alex. I’m here to stay, but only if you want me.”
I look up at him, helpless under the weight of those golden eyes. “This is going to be so much hard work, Mitch. Hard work that you never asked for, that you never wanted.”
“I want you, Alexis. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. I want to be here with you. I would love to help you run this place, be by your side.”
“But it’s not what you—”
“Alex,” he sighs, interrupting. “I’ve had time to think about this and it is what I want. I want to be here. I want to be with you, if…you…want…me.”
I look up and study those lips, those eyes, that stubble that’s just the right length, as always.
“Then I think...I’ll always want you, Mitch.”
He closes his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. “Thank you,” he breathes.
His lips close over mine. I finally let all my defences down. I don’t have to protect my feelings with him. He’s here and he's mine. I wrap my arms around him, pulling his body to mine. Needing to feel his skin, I slide my hands under the back of his white t-shirt. He groans into my mouth. I grip his back to hold myself up. It’s been three months since he's kissed me like this. I feel like my legs could give way at any minute.
I pull away, grasping his hand and tugging him toward the door.
“Where are we going?” he asks, a mischievous smile on his lips.
“Our room. You’re going to love the colour,” I say as I pull him into the living quarters and into our new life together.