Melanie

The talk with Lily had me thinking about moving on. I of course equated it to Carl because he was what was on my mind right now. I couldn’t get him off of it, even if I tried. The way she talked about moving on and putting the past behind her made me think that maybe I needed to do the same thing with him. Carl was with Bianca and I was off limits to him. Scott didn’t want us together and Carl was bad news when it came to matters of females and the heart. I knew that he had broken quite a few hearts when I was here before I left. I had a feeling that nothing had changed in that respect.

Lily was going on an adventure she said. She was packing up and taking an RV across the country. Apparently there was a lot of it that she hadn’t seen yet and she wanted to remedy this with a road trip. She’d told me that she was glad I was back for a while because she wanted me to take care of the house and garden while she was gone. At first I was sure that I was going to go back to school and finish out the last bit of time I had left when I was done with my break, but now I wasn’t so sure. I agreed before I really thought about it and made it so. I wouldn’t tell her one thing and then not do it, so I was locked into the decision now, whether it was a good one or not.

When I got back to the house, Scott’s car was still in the driveway and the guys were nowhere to be seen. If I was going to take Lily’s route and move on from the past, it was going to be now. Instead of looking for them somewhere in the backyard, I went inside. I told mom about Lily leaving for a while and me watching her place. She thought it was a good idea and I think she liked the idea that I was staying for a while. After what Scott told me, there was no way that I would be able to go back to school and think about class any ways, not when there was so much going on here.

I was just going to have to stay away from Carl. Keeping my distance like I had before and eventually I would think about him less and less. I wasn’t going to let one kiss change all of that. I needed my peace back because he still didn’t want me. Maybe that wasn’t true, he did, but we were just as destined to be apart as before. There was nothing I could do about the situation because it was helpless like it always was.

***

I settled into Lily’s place and I did a good job of staying out of my parent’s house when Carl was over helping out with random projects. Dad had been sick for a little while, but there were a lot of things that were falling to the wayside before his diagnosis. I think in a way he wanted to get everything ready for my mom. It was sweet, romantic and sad all at the same time.

But in the end it meant that Carl was over a lot and I was spending more and more time at Lily’s. She’d left and now I was left with a quiet, green sanctuary that helped me to forget about Carl and the crush that I’d had so long ago.

I still had to go home though and there were several awkward times when I was sure that I was going to have to leave because his eyes were full of something dark. It was much like before since I’d been back and I remembered his words about slamming into me a hundred times. It still made me shiver inside and when it was paired with the fact that he was looking at me in that way, it was impossible not to wonder what it would be like if things were different. I wanted to move on, but there was still that nagging question and feeling inside of me that was harder than ever to dispel. I wanted to of course, needed to more aptly, but I couldn’t.

Today I was home because I promised mom I would help her with some canning and of course when I showed up in dad’s car, Carl was the first person that I saw. He was fixing the gutters and Scott was nowhere around. I don’t know what got into me, but I was feeling flirtatious and I had the man looking at me in a strange way not long after I arrived. He was on a ladder and his ass was level with my face. I merely made mention that it was a nice ass.

Carl practically jumped and then looked around before looking down at me. I wanted to make him nervous and I succeeded very quickly.

“Hey Melanie. What are you doing here?”

“Canning jelly and checking out the view.”

His brow bent and he told me to shush. “Your brother will be back in a minute.”

“Pity.”

I stepped just a few feet away. “You should come have a drink with me tonight. I will be twenty one tomorrow.”

“I can’t. Bianca has this thing.”

I wrinkled up my nose, even though I tried not to. I didn’t like Bianca and I didn’t like her being the reason he wouldn’t come out with me.

“Oh, well then I guess I will see if Jake wants to go out. He was always up for a night out when I asked him. I hope he is free tonight.”

It did what it was supposed to do and I got a dirty look from Carl that made me smile inside because I knew that I’d just gotten my way. “Fine, I will see you there later, but just having a couple of drinks. That’s it.”

“Suit yourself. See you later Carl. I look forward to it.”

I saw Scot before I went in the house. “Hey Scott.” I waved and went in before catching Carl’s eyes. I couldn’t let it go, even though I probably should. Lily was right on some respects, but so wrong in others.