Chapter 10
Lucy
“It’s none of your business.”
His words were lukewarm and his voice was so cold. He came back for me and he even declared that I was his girlfriend. Then all of a sudden he becomes so distant that I don’t know if everything was just for show or just words to woo me.
I stood outside my apartment and watched as Zen walked away. No words would come out of my mouth nor would my legs move forward to stop him. I wanted to know more of Zen. I’m scared to think that Zen didn’t actually change for me, and he’s still fooling around with other girls.
It bothered me. Zen made me feel different emotions for the first time in my life. He made me feel butterflies in my stomach and made me feel a heat of desire I never knew existed. Now he was making me feel like my heart was being trampled on. I’ve always played the safest route in life but when I decided to take a different route, and take a chance on Zen, I get all messed up.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I clenched my fists tightly not wanting to acknowledge this pain in my heart. It was fresh, and I know it’s not a wound that can heal with medicine. It was only going to hurt more as long as I have these feeling for Zen. My eyes squinted in determination as I swiftly picked up my keys from the ground and started walking after Zen.
I walked far away from Zen but making sure that he was still in my sights so I wouldn’t lose him. I may seem like an obsessed girlfriend by following their boyfriend but I needed to know because this pain was gnawing at the insides of my chest.
Following Zen made my heart race. I felt this thrill shiver down my back. I felt like a rebellious teenager. If my parents saw me now they would shake their head in disappointment.
I half expected Zen to return to the bar he usually hangs out at where he’d probably meet another girl. What I didn’t expect was him to return to the hospital, and the memory of seeing him the first time in the hospital entered my mind. At that time he said that he was there for an appointment but I think that was just him flirting. Why was he really at the hospital?
My heart started beating more to the point where it’s almost painful. Maybe he had a life threatening disease, all the more reason to become a doctor. I’d be his personal doctor but for some reason a different image of personal doctor appeared in my head.
Maybe he got someone pregnant. The thoughts of what ifs scared me.
Zen walked in and went to the elevator. I couldn’t keep up with my heart anymore as I watched which floor his elevator stopped at. He was definitely visiting somebody and it was scaring me. The elevator stopped at the seventh floor. I was about to press the button to the elevator until I realized what I was doing. I was barging into Zen’s personal life.
He could declare that I’m his girlfriend but if he truly cared about me then he would eventually tell me, right?
I smiled to myself as I went back home. Even if I convinced myself not to follow Zen to the seventh floor nor will I bother him about where he was going to go still it didn’t put my mind at ease. I didn’t get a wink of sleep that night.
Who knew that you could be completely happy one moment and totally devastated the next? The next day quickly came by and instead of staying in my four walled apartment miserably thinking about Zen, I’ve decided to at least go and read at Fancy Cups.
I was lucky that when I arrived I was the only customer since it was too early in the morning. Angela and Stephen were even there.
“Hi Lucy!” they both said in unison behind the counter as they both gave friendly smiles. “Hi Angela! Hi Stephen!” I greeted them back and smiled as much as I could. I think Angela was the first to notice that my smile was fake as she approached me and asked softly “Are you okay?”
“If I say that I’m fine would you believe me?” I asked with a sheepish smile. It wasn’t a big smile but at least it wasn’t fake. “You don’t have to be fine if you’re truly not.” Angela said. I sighed as I sat down at a table and placed my heavy textbooks onto the table.
“It’s about Zen is it?” Stephen asked as he made his way towards my table. I sighed once more and said “Sadly it is.” Angela tied her apron around her waist as she called out “Hey Fran! Get your butt out here.”
Suddenly the red head who I saw on the first day I met Zen came out from a door inside the coffee shop. “Hey Lucy, I want you to meet the famous owner of Fancy Cups, Francesca Blake but you can call her Fran. Fran, this is one of our regulars Lucy.” Angela introduced us.
Fran smiled as she stuck out her hand for me to shake. “Nice to meet you Lucy. I’m glad you like coming back here.” I smiled back as I took her hand and said “Nice to meet you too. I love the ambiance here and the coffee.” Stephen started laughing as he mumbled something along the lines of ‘ambiance’ and ‘mostly we have trouble from bad boys here’.
“I introduced Fran to you because not only is she the owner of Fancy Cups but she’s also dating a bad boy and she could give you some advice.” Angela pointed out which made Fran glare at Angela and said “You make it sound like I’m some sort of bad boy whisperer.” Angela giggled as she literally pushed Fran to sit at my table as Angela walked away.
Fran sighed and said “Sorry about Angela.” I wasn’t one to usually have friends nor seek advice but everything I was going through with Zen was new territory. This could be my only chance. “I… uh… you might know my… boyfriend,” Heck, I wasn’t sure if Zen was really my boyfriend. “His name is Zen.” At the mention of Zen’s name this made Fran’s eyes grew wide like saucers.
“Z-Zen? As in Zen? Long brown hair and looks like a total bad boy? We’re talking about the same person, right?” she started bombarding me with questions. I simply nodded as she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and mumbled to herself “What’s up with bad boys and going after innocent looking girls?”
“I never thought that Zen would settle down with one girl.” Fran said. I can’t blame anyone for putting me in this situation since I knew what kind of guy Zen was, even Fran knew and she wasn’t even dating the guy. Wait a minute. Did they date before or hook up?
“Have you ever dated Zen?” I asked and I instantly knew the answer when Fran’s face scrunched up in disgust. “No, I’m dating a friend of Zen’s.” she answered. I then remembered the other guy when I first met Zen.
“Oh… okay. Well, you see Zen didn’t technically settle down with one girl… I think.” I said.
“I can’t exactly tell you what to do but you can ask him and if he doesn’t give you the answer you’re looking for then back him into a corner where he has no choice but to answer you.” Fran said. I was glad that Fran didn’t ask any details and the aura around seemed motivating like she would charge into battle if need to.
I smiled at her and said “Thank you.”
She smiled in return as she said “We girls have to stay far away from the bad boys as long as possible but it’s definitely hard when you can’t help but look past the bad boy image and see the man he truly is.”
But it’s the bad boy part of Zen that draws me to him like an invisible rope pulling me towards him.