Chapter 3
Chris
Damn she looked good. I don’t know what I was thinking when I came up here, what I was going to find, but damn she looked really good. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her as she walked towards the table with both cups in her hands. I tried to look away, but it was impossible to.
Not much had changed for her and that was what was the hardest to imagine. I would have thought after all these years; there would be a sign of aging as there was for me, but nothing. It felt like nothing was different and the feeling that I got being around her certainly wasn’t different either. I wanted her as much now as I ever did before.
Her blonde hair was brushed down her back and it was soft and curled a little at the ends. I could remember sticking my fingers in that glorious hair of hers and I wanted to take the same liberties again. It was hard to handle not being able to touch her, but I knew that it wasn’t right. I was going to have to keep my hands to myself, no matter how badly I might not want to.
The body was very much the same as I remembered before. She was short and curvy. Molly had never been model thin, but I had never liked that look anyways. She was soft and I could see the differences that were made right after I seen her last. Her chest seemed bigger, but it really had been so long. The pictures I had of her had never done her justice and it looked like they still didn’t. Molly’s curves were just as enticing as I remembered and I was finding it hard to keep my eyes off of her.
The smile was devastating and her blue eyes twinkles as she sat down across from me, sliding the cup towards me.
“Here Chris. I haven’t seen you in forever. You look good.”
She had gotten herself together and she didn’t look as nervous as she was before. I knew that there was something going on in her mind, but I wasn’t sure what it was. She most likely wanted to know why I was here and I didn’t know how to come out with it. It was a lot of things and one part in particular was going to make her respond and react. I just didn’t know how it was all going to go. I knew how I wanted it to go, but nothing ever did work out how I liked when it came to Molly. Case in point was the very fact that it had been so long since we had seen each other. In no scenario in my head would have ended with both of us being apart. I never wanted to be apart from her and I didn’t want to continue the trend. Too many nights, I’d stayed up, thinking about Molly and how things could have been different somehow.
“So what’s up with you nowadays, Chris? Did you go to the big city and start that business that your father wanted?”
She was going straight for the jugular from the gate and I couldn’t blame her because I knew that it was because of that very reason that I had left. We’d gotten into it about the pressures on us and I ran away to live a new life without her. It was true, her accusations that she’d made, but it wasn’t like I liked to hear about them. I wanted to move past it and I needed her in a better mood than this.
“Yes I did. You know that is why I went and I was the good little son for almost five years, well six really.”
“Was it all that you thought it was going to be? You had the city envisioned like it was magical. Was it?”
There was a bit of pain in her eyes and it occurred to me then that maybe I wasn’t the only one that had felt the loss when we had broken up and maybe I wasn’t the only one that felt it now. I filled my time with women and a lot of booze to numb it all, but I had never been able to forget about her. Now I was back, but for reasons that I wish were different. I wish I’d come back sooner and not had to come back for reasons like this. It made me realize how much time has passed since I saw her last. At the moment it feels like no time has passed at all. “It was work. I liked it alright, but there was something missing in the city. I never did get used to it. I still live there, but it gets harder every year. But it’s so different here now as well. I’m stuck in two places that don’t seem to suit me.”
“Alaska used to suit you just fine. So did you find what you were looking for?”
I’d left, saying that I was looking for something and I was no closer to finding it now as I was then. I had an idea that it was the wrong want anyways.
“Never did.”
“Still searching huh?”
“I’ve stopped searching. I know what it is now.”
She smiled and told me that she was happy that I had. I wanted to tell her what it was, but I knew better. I had to ease into this slowly. Molly didn’t like to be told what to do and I knew that me coming in after all of these years, changing her world was going to be met with some resistance. I had to be delicate in how I played it.