Melanie

“So now that he is gone, now what?”

He looked at me and I could tell that he had something in mind that I would have agreed to wholeheartedly. I still had the same crush on him and I was saddened to see that it hadn’t gone away. I’d tried very hard to forget about my brother’s friend. He had pushed me aside like there was nothing to think about before, but now things had changed. I could see it in the way that he looked at me now.

“I will take you home when you’re ready. It looks like you’ve had enough to drink.”

He was right of course; I knew that, even in the current state that I was in. I knew that I shouldn’t drive. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I guess I just figured if nothing else I could have walked home. It wasn’t that far and it’s not like there would be a problem leaving the car here.

“You don’t have to do that.”

I was a bit disappointed that he didn’t want to get it on. It’s what I’d thought about when I was younger and didn’t even know then what I was asking for. Now I knew and I still wanted Carl.

“I insist. Your brother would kill me if he knew that I left this bar and didn’t take you home, especially with Jake sniffing around.”

I didn’t like his comment, but he was so quick to smile it was hard to stop the response given back. Carl was never one to mesh words, but he would look at me with this grin on his face and I was unable to stop myself from smiling back at him.

“My brother isn’t my keeper.”

“Yes he is. You know that Scott is very protective of you and he just wants to make sure that you’re okay.”

“I know and I’m twenty now. You’d think that he would back off a little bit. That’s why I’m glad I was sent away. They thought I was going down a bad path, but it was Scott that kept me in line. Out in California I don’t have anyone that acts like him, so I can do what I want.”

“Like date professors.”

“Yes, if that’s what I want to do.”

I was acting defiant and I don’t know why I was telling Carl this. I wanted him to know in a way, that no matter if Scott approved or not, I wasn’t too worried about what he thought. It felt like it was Scott that was holding Carl back from going forward. I didn’t want that. At this moment in time, I wanted Carl to lean over and kiss me. It was something that I’d thought about a lot.

“You’re not going down a good path Melanie. You do need to date guys your own age. Break some hearts before you have your own broken.”

“Is that what older men do Carl? Do you guys break our hearts?”

He was uncomfortable with the question and he leaned back in his seat. I was getting too close apparently, but my depth perception was off mightily.

“Yes, we do. I’m sure we don’t mean to, but we’re callous and you shouldn’t listen to us.”

“I learned a lot from you Carl. Not as much as I wanted to, but I learned a lot. You never took me seriously.”

“We don’t need to go over that again. It was a long time ago Melanie and we should keep it in the past. We were both a lot younger.”

“Yes it was a long time ago. And we were younger, but that doesn’t mean that I should forget it or that I could even if I wanted to. A girl doesn’t forget a thing like that.”

I was silent for a moment because all I could think about was how different it was now that I was older. I felt different and I had more to offer now, but some things were still too similar for my liking.

“You look at me seriously now Carl.”

“Do I?”

“Yes. I wonder what would happen now if I’d thrown myself on you like I had before. I wonder if I would get a different response this time around? Maybe you would like the things that I could do to you. I’m not that young anymore.”

Carl got out of the seat like it was on fire and I could tell he was really uncomfortable now. I almost giggled because of the way he acted, but it wasn’t the best response I could have hoped for either. I didn’t want him to run like he was now. The first time he’d just brushed me off like I was a kid. Now though, he looked at me differently with the same results as before. I still was no closer to having what I wanted.

“You ready to go Melanie? I think you’ve had enough to drink and I got to get up early in the morning. You’re getting a bit too friendly for my taste. I don’t want to leave you here when you are like this. It wouldn’t be safe and your brother would never let me hear the end of it if something happened to you.”

I agreed that I was ready, because it was becoming painfully clear that after all of this time, I was still not going to get the attention that I truly wanted. Carl was being held back and at the moment it didn’t look like he was going to budge. It was too bad really because he had no idea that things that I wanted to do to him.

“Can I ask you a question Carl?”

We were walking out of the bar and he didn’t answer me until we were outside, like he wanted to make sure that I was still going to go with him no matter what his answer was. I can’t say that he was wrong for the dishonesty. I wanted to stay if I wasn’t going to get any action from Carl. I was in quite a state today and this evening would be a whole lot better if that was different.

“What’s that Mel?”

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

He looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you think that I’m pretty? It’s a pretty straight forward question and you’re a pretty straight forward kind of guy.”

“Of course I think you’re pretty. You know that you’re hot Melanie. It would be impossible for you not to know.”

I liked the answer that he was giving, but it still wasn’t good enough. There was still so much more that I didn’t understand about how he was acting if that was true.

“Then why do you run from me?”

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk Carl and you know it”

“Your brother is my best friend Melanie. Isn’t that enough of a reason.”

“So? What does that have to do with anything?”

“So we’ve been friends for a long time and you’re off limits to me.”

“I am?”

Carl nodded his head and his dark eyes pinned me where I stood. I couldn’t hold his gaze for long because Carl had such intensity inside of him and it wasn’t hard to see how much he was attracted to me. It didn’t help my senses at all or the fact that he was avoiding what I wanted like the plague.

“Yes you are. Very off limits to me Melanie.”

“And if I wasn’t?”

“I would have already slammed into you a hundred times over and made you scream my name until you couldn’t speak. You’re hot as fuck Melanie. You know it, so don’t play games. It doesn’t suit you. You’re too smart for that.”

I didn’t know it like he said, but it was good to hear that he thought I had it that way. The rest of what he said made me tremble a little and it was not the answer that I was looking for. It was the answer I needed mind you, but now what? None of it mattered because some man code said it wasn’t meant to be.

“So I will always be off limits to you then? There is no way that it is going to change.”

“Pretty much Melanie. I don’t see that ever changing.”

I made a pouty face. “Well that’s not what I wanted to hear at all. Who made up these rules?”