Melanie

I could have hit my brother. I really could have. I don’t know what he was thinking bringing all that up in front of Carl. He didn’t know what the big deal was, but I couldn’t believe that he had said those things about Dustin. I didn’t want Carl to know that I was dating a professor. He’d told me long ago that I should date people my own age. I never had.

My face was red and I just look out the window at the ever changing countryside and I was happy to be back where everything was familiar. This was the same scene that I’d run past many times before and it was unsettling now to see some of the changes taking place since my last visit.

“Did they sell the market?”

“Yeah, it’s going to be one of those chain supermarkets soon. They finally sold out.”

“I’m going to miss that place. I remember working there every summer when I was in boarding school. It was a really nice place to go, so different than everything else. Never did find another place when I was in San Diego that was anywhere near like it.”

It was usually all local vendors and lots of them that would gather together every weekend and sell locally made goods. It was a great time for me and I hated to see the sales sign on the front that told the world that it was sold. Every time I came home, something else had changed and I still didn’t like it.

“Do you know what Lily is going to do?”

“I don’t know. I think she is going to retire. She talked about getting the old Johnson Mill and trying to make something of it, but I don’t think she is going to, not if there is more competition coming in that she can’t compete with.”

It was sad to hear the old woman was calling it a day. I promised myself that I was going to go and see her while I was here. She was always so nice and I’d really enjoyed working for her. I’d learned a lot of new things from Lily.

The house came into view and a feeling of anxiety and happiness came over me. This place will always be my home, but everything was so unclear. Coming home was always a mix of emotions and seeing Carl right off the bat, if at all was not something I’d prepared myself for. I’d embarrassed myself with him, but I’d learned from my mistakes and I told myself that I was never going to do that again.

I grabbed my bag and was out of the truck before anyone could say anything else. Mom was on the porch waiting for me, always somehow knowing when I was home. She hugged me and I don’t know why, but it was times like this when a girl needed her mother. A bad break up was one of those occasions and this one had been a doozy.

I looked back to see Carl watching me with a new interest and curiosity in his eyes and my brother looking at his friend differently as well. I hadn’t expected my time at home to be so eventful.

Focusing my attention on mom, I went inside and smelled the familiar smells of the house I’d grew up in as a child. It always did take me back to a different time. Everything was so much easier back then and it was hard for me to believe it. I knew that I wanted to be back at home. This was where I was supposed to be.

***

“So tell me what happened, Melanie? I know that you were together for a while.”

I hadn’t wanted to tell her, but mom had a way about her and I wanted to tell someone. I was dying to really and it was impossible for me to think of anything else to say but the truth.

“He cheated on me and made a fool out of me basically.”

It was all I could get out before I started crying a little bit. It was the truth and now that it was said out loud, it made me feel even worse. All of the time that I’d tried to keep it in the last week was killing me. Everyone on campus knew about it because Dustin hadn’t seemed to care that he was humiliating me.

“Come now, Melanie. It can’t be as bad as you have made it out to be in your head.”

It was and when I started to tell her who he cheated on me with, she could see why I was so upset.

“Amber?”

I shook my head and I angrily pushed the tear from my eye. “Yea, Amber.”

“But you’ve been friends for…”

I agreed because I knew what she was going to say. We’d been friends, best friends since boarding school and my parents had met her several times. We were so close that she’d stayed the second and third year all summer with me because her own family was on shaky grounds. I’d tried everything to fully understand what happened, but I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I would have never thought that Amber would do something like that to me, but she had. He had too.

It was the betrayal and public humiliation of it all that really bothered me. It still did and I guess that’s why I was back home, licking my wounds before I emerged once more to start again. Right now I didn’t want to even try getting over it. I wanted to feel bad that two people I loved had hurt me so much.

“I know. I don’t know what happened. Maybe they are in love and maybe the love that me and Dustin had was never real. I don’t know and it hurts to think about it sometimes.”

“You know that you’re perfect Melanie and it’s not you.”

I liked to think that it was true, but I really wasn’t sure. What I was sure of was the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I was tired of feeling so bad about it all and I just wanted to forget it all. Dustin and Amber could have each other and I tried to reason that it was better that I found out this way, but that was a hard feeling to actually have.

“I think I’m going to go over to Lily’s later, see how she is doing. I passed the market and I can’t believe she sold it.”

Mom was sidetracked with her own thoughts. “Yeah, things have been changing around here. Make sure you see your father before you go. I told him you were coming and he’s been up for a while waiting for you.”

“Okay, but don’t say anything about Dustin please. I don’t want him to think that anything is wrong. I hate when he worries. He needs to spend all of his energy on getting well.”

She smiled in a sad way and agreed. “I won’t say a word. I don’t think he liked Dustin when he met him on campus anyways.”