“Shit!” The box slips out from underneath my fingers. No. No. No! I quickly sit on the pavement and pull the tape as hard I can and I look inside. I sigh in relief when I don’t see shattered glass. This box holds my memories of time frozen in place.
I see a man in my peripheral vision standing nearby and staring at me. My heartbeat increases as he walks towards me. I try to look away but my eyes gravitate to him and when he smiles at me, I ignore it. I look around for Katia but she has gone up to the apartment to take some boxes.
“Hey muñeca, you don’t need to make a scene to get noticed. If you need help just ask me for it,” he says casually.
“What? No, I don’t need help. My friend and I got this.” I bend down as he watches me. He’s smiling the whole the time.
The box is heavy as hell but I manage to pull it up. Jerk. If he were a gentleman, he wouldn’t need me to ask him for help, he would just do it. I walk away and luckily, Katia walks out as I’m about to walk in. She holds the door open and I walk in as quickly as I can to the elevator. I press the button and the doors open without any wait time. Thank you, Lord Jesus. I enter the elevator and drop to the floor with box on my lap. I couldn’t hold it one second longer. I just had to show that a-hole that I didn’t need his help. I reach my floor but I can’t manage to get out; my arms feel like spaghetti and the box is heavier than before. I scoot it out of the elevator, being careful I not to damage its contents. I manage to get the box into the apartment as far in as I could before lying sprawled out on the floor. I turn over and take a deep breath. I need a breather before heading back down to grab another box. My back against the floor feels so good I can’t manage to move I didn’t even close the door my feet are still partially sticking out in the hallway and our neighbors are probably wondering why some girl has her feet sticking out her door. They’ll probably think I’m a drunk and have just thrown myself inside. Right now, at this very moment, I don’t care. My eyes close for just a second. I can feel the exhaustion setting in along with the heaviness of my limbs. I hear Katia laughing and then I hear his voice. Damn her! She asked him for help. I open eyes as the quietness sets in and I see them standing over me and staring. I see him with that stupid smile and he looks a lot taller from down here.
“Yes?” I ask, directing my question at him.
“Nothing,” he replies. He wipes the stupid smiles off his face; but I know what he’s thinking. He knows the box was too heavy for me.
“Sophia, you should’ve asked him for help if you needed it. Hey, is that the box with all the pictures?” She sets her box down and checks inside the box I brought up. “Oh my God, it is! Why would you carry it?” she asks.
“Because I was able to, that’s why.” I rise from the floor and head back down to get more of our stuff.
The kind gentleman Matias, happens to be our next-door neighbor, or shall I say right across the hallway neighbor. He managed to lend a helping hand to his new neighbors. The trips to and from the car seemed never-ending but when I grabbed the last box, relief washed over me; it was a long day. I set the box down to double check we got everything and close the door. I swear next time we are getting a moving service.
I OPEN MY eyes and everything is a blur. The only thing I see clearly are the air bubbles escaping from me and floating up. The muffled sound of Katia’s voice catches me by surprise and I take in some water into my nose. I raise my head from the tub as I feel the burn in my nose. Katia takes a seat on the toilet.
“I know today was difficult but I want to say that I am proud of you. All that you have endured and you still have the courage to live. That in itself is amazing. I saw how broken you were today as we walked into the house to take the last of the boxes. You are a strong woman Sophia.” Her words of endearment are so encouraging. At the same time I’m faced with the truth once again of what my life once was and now is. Empty and alone.
“Hey, look what I pulled out of the magician’s hat,” she says pulling the bottle of wine out from under the towel. A smiles breaks across my face as I’m hoping to disguise my sadness. She leaves and I’m left there with invading thoughts of Will. When my mind is not busy it is bombarded with thoughts, memories, feelings, and dreams of what could have been. Life has wronged me by stealing the best part of me; I still don’t know how to take a step forward without him. It’s like walking blindfolded I don’t know which direction to go without falling. I get out of the tub before she comes in here and gets me out herself. I quickly dry myself off, throw on a tee, and put my hair in a messy bun.
The only piece of furniture we moved in was my brown leather couch. It was the only thing I wanted to keep; everything else will be going into storage when I sell the house. I walk into the other room and Katia is going through boxes in the kitchen floor.
“Hey, do you know where we packed the glasses?” she asks as she continues searching through another box labeled ‘kitchen.’
“They should be here somewhere,” I say looking around the room.
There is a knock at the door. I turn to look at Katia but she is too busy searching for the glasses. I assume she ordered take-out since we have no food and we haven’t eaten since breakfast. I grab my wallet and answer the door.
“Hi,” my smile literally disappears.
“So you aren’t so happy to see me?” His smile is bigger than ever. I turn to Katia who is still too damn busy to even notice we have company. “I bought dinner for my new neighbors,” he says walking past me inviting himself in.
“Hey you, I’m just looking for the wine glasses, which seem to have been misplaced,” Katia says not bothering to look at me and my irritated expression.
“Not to worry, good thing I live right across the hallway, I’ll go grab some.” He walks past me again with that stupid smile. He exits the apartment and with him goes his grin. My attention quickly turns to Katia.
“What the hell, you didn’t even tell me he was coming. I would have at least worn a bra Katia.” I’m trying to keep my voice low and to avoid being heard. I don’t want to make her feel bad but I am really exhausted tonight and not in the mood for company. I rush to my room to find my bra and search for some shorts.
He causally waltzes back into the apartment without knocking. Seriously, who does this he think he is? He holds up the three glasses, setting them on the counter and winks at me as he rounds the corner to the kitchen. I’ve never meet anyone so ill-mannered. He pulls out a corkscrew from his back pocket and waves it around in the air.
“Oh my God, you’re awesome!” I hear Katia say. His smile only gets bigger and he begins to uncork the wine bottle. My eyes narrow at her and she mouths “what?” as I roll my eyes and sit on my leather couch. I bet that is the reason that man acts the way he does, like he’s privileged to do what he wants.
The sky is morphing into cooler hues, the blending colors are mesmerizing and for a brief moment, my wounded heart was bearable.
“Hey, your glass, muñeca,” he whispers with his hand on my forearm. I glance down at his hand and immediately move my arm from his touch. I glance to meet his grey eyes staring right at me.
“Thank you.”
“The pleasure is all mine.” He walks toward Katia, handing her a glass. “A toast to my new neighbors, may you both be as happy here as I am.” He raises his glass and takes a drink. Katia does the same. I only take a small sip. I really need to eat before having anything to drink.
Katia manages to find plates and sets them on the floor in our living room. I continue to stay seated on the couch. Matias finds a place in front of the couch and leans against it his long legs stretched out in front.
“I brought Mexican food, because everybody loves tacos. Right?” he asks.
“I love tacos,” Katia says with a little too much excitement. I think cup two is already taking effect. She has always had a low tolerance for alcohol. I don’t even know why I agreed to this; if she has one more glass before having a taco she will be blabbering and then sleeping, leaving me in an awkward situation with Mr. Cocky Pants.
“Ok, so I’ll have a taco.” I request one in hopes that we can begin eating and end the night early. Today has been exhausting and the sooner this dinner is over the sooner this day will be over too.
We eat and talk about our surrounding neighbors, and discuss where the best places to eat on this side of town are located. I try to avoid talking about anything personal because I know that touching the subject will a) bring me despair and b) make him pity me. Katia, on the other hand, has completely lost all her senses with four glasses of wine and two tacos. He already knows that she is a single elementary school teacher, she doesn’t like beer unless it’s with lime, she loves all types of music, she grew up in Dallas, she loves books, moved to San Antonio six years ago, we have been friends since her moving here, and she has only had two serious boyfriends and she is ready for one now.
I stand and leave them talking in the living room; I round the corner to my room when I hear Matias says he has been an architect for eight years and that it has always been his dream. I shut the door to my room and lean against it, sliding down until I’m on the floor. Hearing that word, architect, made my heart skip a beat. Thoughts of Will immediately come to mind; it makes my heart ache and pain is too great to bear tonight that I’d rather sleep to ease it even if it’s just for a few hours.
I extend a comforter on the floor and throw a pillow on top; it’s my make shift bed or until I buy one. I lie on my side, trying to find a comfortable spot but my body is so worn from the day’s work that any spot will do. I close my eyes, and the heaviness and exhaustion combined with the coolness and darkness is all my body needed to subdue to my sleep.