“I need to tell you both something,” I say, walking into the dining room where both Andrew and Colleen are silently working their own laptops.

They both work from home—which always meant they could keep a close eye on me—and they only occasionally speak to each other as to not disrupt the flow for the other. But once I’ve said this, they both stop what they’re doing and look up at me.

“What’s wrong, darling?” Colleen says, concern clear on her face. “Please, sit down.”

I take the seat she offers beside her. I try and remain as calm as possible, not knowing how they’re going to take the news I’m about to drop on them. This isn’t going to go well.

“Well, I talked about this with Andrew a while ago,” I begin and watch as they exchange looks. Andrew looks like he’s about to speak but he stops, thinking better of it and gestures for me to go ahead. “I’m sure he told you, Colleen.”

“Yes, Andrew did tell me about the situation at your workplace. But he also said that you told him nothing had happened between you and your boss.”

“That wasn’t strictly true...”

“What do you mean?” Andrew asks, reaching toward me and placing his hand on top of mine. “Did something happen? You can talk to us. We’ve always been honest in this family. That still holds true.”

Colleen nods her head in agreement. I hang my head but work up the courage to look them in the eye when I tell them the truth.

“Well, when we first talked, it wasn’t just that I was starting to have feelings for Boyd. It was…”

“Is Boyd your boss?” Colleen asks.

I nod my head and try to continue but by the looks on their faces, I can sense that they already know what I’m going to say.

“Did you sleep with him?” Andrew looks directly at me and I’m unable to look away from his piercing gaze. Colleen looks between Andrew and I, silently willing the truth to be not as it seems.

“Yes, we slept together,” I say, willing myself to not look away and stand my ground. It was my decision to tell them and I can’t back out now. Andrew takes his hand off mine. I make note of this.

Andrew and Colleen are silent for a long moment. They simply look at each other, speaking with just their eyes. I wait patiently, unsure of their reaction. And yet, at the same time, entirely sure of what they’re going to say.

“Grace,” Andrew speaks first, looking down at his hands, fingers laced together. “I want you to know that Colleen and I care about you greatly and we want to see you succeed in this life. Your initial hand was poorly dealt and we had thought that we were giving you a better deal. A better chance at a better life…”

“You are!” I can’t help but interrupt. I need them to know how much they mean to me. It’s for that very reason that I’m being so honest with them now. “You’ve given me so much and I am eternally grateful for everything that you’ve done for me.”

“It doesn’t seem that way,” Andrew says. He looks at Colleen and she takes his hand, nodding at him in confirmation. “It seems like you’re not taking our beliefs seriously. It seems like you think you have a better idea of how you should live your life than we do.”

“No, it’s not like that,” I say, although I know that pleading with them will make no difference. I already feel the ultimatum coming and I can feel my heart breaking inside of my chest.

“Here’s what it is like, Grace,” Andrew says, getting up from the table. He puts his hands on his hips and begins pacing. “Either you stay here in this house and we continue to help you in any way we can, or you can quit your job. God wouldn’t want this life for you. You deserve better.”

“But I…” My heart sinks like a stone. I feel hot tears coming on but I push them away. I can’t let them see me break down like this. I won’t.

“It’s that simple, Grace. You either choose your job or you choose us. You can’t have both.” Andrew sits back down at the table and begins working again, putting his glasses onto the bridge of his nose. Colleen gets up from the table and goes to make tea without a single word to me. She doesn’t even give me a second glance.

It’s clear that this conversation is over. And so is the life I was finally starting to envision for myself.

 

***

 

I walk back to my room, resigned. I don’t know what I expected from them. Were they going to suddenly be understanding just because I’ve been their surrogate daughter for the past few years? Nothing was going to change the way they thought about sex outside of marriage and I shouldn’t have thought anything I said would change that.

And the reason I felt compelled to tell them about it was because I knew they would be gutted if they found out the truth some other way. The guilt over what Boyd and I had and what I hoped we would continue to do was eating me alive. I knew that the family that had helped me so much would be upset about this, from the very beginning, and yet I let it happen. Over and over again, I let it happen.

But when I’m with him, everything else in the world falls away and it’s just the two of us. And being with him has never felt more right. And yet, I still feel as though I’m making a mistake. A gigantic, colossal mistake when it comes to him.

Andrew and Colleen are right on one front. I have to make a choice. And a choice between my livelihood and the potential love of my life will be the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make.