I was expecting it to be easy to just end the contract with Gray. I thought he was willingly going to accept that I didn’t want to escort him to his brother’s wedding. But I was wrong. As much as Gray didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want to let me go.

When he asked me if I’d been seeing any clients, it was like he wanted me all to himself. I wanted him to myself too. I wanted him to be my Dom. I needed him to discipline me. He was new to the BDSM scene, and I could tell it terrified him as much as it turned him on.

“You have to shower,” Gray said. “You can’t just leave with my come all over your ass.”

I wanted to tell him I didn’t mind. But Gray pulled me up on my feet and brought me upstairs. He stopped in the living room to check up on Pollock, who was sleeping.

“Aren’t Harry and Carter going to be home soon?” I asked.

Gray pulled his phone out to look at the time. “They won’t be home for another couple of hours.”

It was rare to get to spend time alone with Gray. I knew he had a busy schedule. He led me upstairs with my hands still tied behind my back. It felt good to be restrained and led by my Dom.

He brought me up into the master bedroom, leaving the lights off. In the darkness, it was like he was a stranger. The streetlights coming in from the window outlined his thick, muscular body. The way he grabbed my arm was firm, but I could feel how tender he was at the same time.

He helped me strip out of my pants and took off his clothes as well. I could still feel his come on my ass, and I loved the strong and musky scent.

He opened the glass door of his shower and turned the water on. The shower steamed up. With my hands tied behind my back, I couldn’t take my shirt off. It was hard to see in the steamy shower. We were engulfed in the steam, and soon, all I could see was Gray’s naked body in front of me.

I’d come twice that evening, but I was hard again. My sexual appetite has always been pretty high, which made me a good escort. But with Gray, it was different. Just the smell of him was enough to get me going again.

Gray scared me a bit when he was quiet. He was a hard person to read, and I didn’t know if he was about to spank me or kiss me. But I let him dictate if he wanted to give me pain or pleasure.

He kissed me under the rainfall showerhead. My white T-shirt got translucent and stuck to my body, making my body feel heavier.

When I closed my eyes, the sound of running water put me in a trance. Since I started working as an escort, bathing myself had been an escape after my sessions with my clients. I’d stay under there until my skin got raw. It didn’t make me feel any cleaner after I bathed myself, but for the few hours I stood under running water, I could forget all the shameful things I’d done.

Gray stepped out of the shower and returned with a pair of scissors. Seeing the sharp object in his hand made my heart race. He used the scissors to cut open my T-shirt. Gray took some soap that smelled of pine, and he lathered it in his hands, then rubbed it all over my body. His big calloused hands massaged my back and shoulders and my ass.

His touch was tender, and I could hear him sigh when he ran his hands over the handprints on my ass.

“I can’t believe I did this to you again,” Gray said.

I turned to him and could see the sadness in his blue eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” I said. “You have to be a very fucked-up person not to feel bad after. You have to be pretty fucked up like me.”

Gray stood close to me and tilted my chin up to look at him. “What do you mean you’re fucked up?”

I hesitated to answer him. I was afraid he’d want nothing to do with me if I shared my past with him.

“Tell me,” he said.

His voice was deep and soothing, and his eyes told me I could trust him.

“My dad was also a lawyer, and he used to get really stressed after work, and he’d take his anger out on me by spanking me.”

It was the first time I’d told anyone that. I’d known Josh for so many years, and even he didn’t know that about me. The pain and pleasure of BDSM was more than just sexual exploration. It was part of my past.

Gray reminded me of my father. He was the successful lawyer I looked up to. I knew how disgusting and wrong it was to think that, but it was the truth. All I’d ever wanted was my father’s affection, and I’d never gotten it.

“Then why do you like getting spanked?” Gray asked.

It was a valid question, and I didn’t have an answer to it. “All I know is that it feels good. I can forget all my problems when I get spanked. The pain numbs my body, and I feel so euphoric.”

“I don’t want to be the person who reminds you of your abusive father,” Gray said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but because I was tied up, I couldn’t. I could feel him wanting to pull away. I knew we were heading into a direction he wasn’t exactly prepared for. Frankly, I wasn’t even sure if I was ready for it either.

“He wasn’t all abusive,” I said. “When he wasn’t angry or stressed, he was a really great dad.”

I remembered all the times when he’d go berserk at the drop of a hat, making me want to hide and at the same time get closer to him to be spanked.

“He was wrong to have spanked you because of the stress in his life,” Gray said.

“I know,” I said. “But what’s wrong for someone else is my normal for me.”

I could feel tears form in my eyes, and I wondered if Gray would see me crying in the dark bathroom.

I knew that someone with such a normal and caring family like Gray wouldn’t understand where I was coming from. I met his brothers, and they seemed like a close family who didn’t have the kinds of trauma I had.

“What happens if you don’t get spanked?” Gray asked.

“It’s like an alcoholic going through withdrawal. I feel sick, and all I can think about is to get spanked by someone. I’ve put myself in a lot of dangerous situations because of it.”

Gray shook his head when I said that. I wasn’t expecting to unload all this onto him at once. But it felt right to tell him. I felt safe with Gray in a way I hadn’t felt with other clients in the past.

“I don’t want you to put yourself in those situations. I mean it when I say that. I don’t want you to see other clients, and I’m willing to pay you more to only be with me from now on.”

“I’m old enough to take care of myself,” I said.

“No.” Gray’s voice got louder. “You need to promise me you’re not going to find someone else to abuse you.”

“Then who’s going to spank me when I really need it?” I asked.

Gray looked down to the ground.

“I’ll do it,” he said softly. “If you really need it, then I’ll do it.”

“But I don’t want to put pressure on you. I know you aren’t someone who’s used to doing something like this,” I said.

“I know. But I can’t stand the thought of someone else spanking or hurting you. What if they do irreversible damage? I’m the only one who gets to spank you from now on.”

The way Gray spanked me was like how my father did it. It hurt enough to numb me, but not enough to leave a bruise for more than a few days. It was one of the reasons why being with Gray comforted me so much.

“Why do you want to take on that responsibility?” I asked.

Gray looked away when he answered. “Because it’s the right thing to do.”

I wanted to kiss him at that moment. Even though I was asking to be hit, Gray cared about my safety. I’d been reckless in the past, trying to numb myself through the pain and pleasure of BDSM.

“I’ll set up a room in the basement, where we can act out all your fantasies,” Gray said. “It’ll be our little playroom. Our little secret. But it has to remain between us.”

“But your brothers live here. Don’t you think they’ll find out about the room?” I asked.

“I’ll lock it and make sure they don’t go down there,” he said. “But if you ever need to be spanked, I want you to come to me, not to anyone else. You hear me?”

I’d never heard him being so serious before. I nodded and leaned against his chest.

He stroked my hair gently. I basked in the warmth and smell of his body. All I ever wanted was one person to be my Dom. But I was worried that Gray wasn’t going to be ready for what he bargained for.

The thought of having a playroom to ourselves made my heart race and my body tremble. There were so many possibilities of what he could do to me down there.

“Kiss me, please,” I said.

Gray leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss felt reserved as if he was still thinking about our conversation and was unsure if he was willing to commit all the way.

We got out of the shower, and he stepped out to bring me a towel. The towel smelled of him as he dried me with it. With the pair of scissors, he cut the rope to free my hands, and I felt pins and needles travel up and down my arms from being tied up for so long. I looked down and saw the pattern of the rope printed on my wrists. Gray ran his finger gently over them.

When we returned to the bedroom, we heard a noise downstairs. It sounded like Harry and Carter were home.

Gray’s eyes widened, and he looked panicked. “Fuck,” he said. “I didn’t think they’d be home that early.”

He closed the door to his bedroom and leaned against it. “What should I do?” I asked.

“You have to stay in here until they go back to the guesthouse. I can’t have them know you’re here.”

I nodded, understanding how his perfect and pure family would never understand what we’d been doing that night.