I was hungover as fuck when I heard a loud knock on my door.

I put a pillow over my face and hoped that whoever was knocking would go away. But the person knocked again.

“Can you get it?” I called out to Josh, who was sleeping in the other room.

“If I get up, I’m going to throw up,” he said.

I rolled my eyes and sat up on my bed and waited for the room to stop spinning. There were more knocks on the door. It was louder this time.

“I’m coming, goddamnit. Give me a second,” I yelled.

I went over to the door and was ready to curse out whoever it was. But when I saw Gray standing there holding a bouquet of roses, I didn’t know if I wanted to close it on his face or to kick him in the balls.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked.

“God, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he said. “Can I come in?”

“No,” I said. “You can leave, though. Elevators are that way.”

“The elevators aren’t working. I had to walk all the way upstairs.”

I’d wondered why he was sweating. He was wearing a blue collared shirt, and I’d always loved it when he’d worn that shade of blue because it brought out the color of his eyes.

“Please, give me five minutes to talk to you,” Gray said.

I sighed and let him in. He handed me the roses, which looked beautiful, but I tossed them onto the kitchen counter and pretended like I didn’t care about them.

I looked in Josh’s room and saw that he was still fast asleep.

“Make it quick,” I said.

“Okay. I’m sorry about what happened the other day. I’m still learning a lot about myself, and I want you to give me a second chance.”

I waited for him to stop talking. “Is that it?” I said.

Gray nodded.

“Okay, can you leave now?” I said.

Gray took a deep breath.

“Look. River.” He sounded much more serious now. “I was wrong when I broke up with you the other day. The truth is that you’ve taught me so much about myself, and I know we still have a lot to learn from each other. I know our story isn’t over yet, so I want you to take me back. I want to forget about the contract we have. I want you to forget about everything I said to you the other day because I was wrong.”

I couldn’t stand to look at him. Because I was afraid that if I looked into his eyes, I’d change my mind and only get hurt again.

“You want me to forget about everything you said to me the other day?” I said. “You shamed me for what I was into when you were the one who built the playroom for me. You built me up, and then you destroyed me. And now you want me to forget about it?”

Gray was lost for words for once in his life. He looked down to the ground, and I could see that he was upset.

“I’m sorry,” Gray said. “That’s all I can say to you. You don’t have to take me back if you don’t want to. But I want you to know that I really care about you. And I don’t care about many people. You showed me how to love someone for who they really are. And I’m still learning.”

The sincerity in his voice made me want to hug him. To feel his arms close around me. But I was scared. Fucking terrified to get hurt again by someone as special as Gray.

“I don’t know if we should be together,” I said. “You even said it yourself. Maybe BDSM isn’t your thing, and that’s okay.”

Gray started unbuttoning his shirt, and I was confused by what he was doing. But then he turned around and showed me red marks on his back that looked painful.

“Who did this to you?” I asked him.

He turned back to me and put his shirt back on. “No one. I did it to myself in the shower. I wanted to understand how you felt when I spanked you. And I realized how euphoric it feels to be in pain. I know why you enjoy it so much now, and it was wrong for me to judge you for it.”

I wanted to hug him more than ever now after he showed me the marks on his back. Gray had not only come with roses. He’d come with the intention of winning me back. Was I ready to take him back despite my fear of having him leave me again?

Gray took a step toward me and grabbed my hand and held it in his. I’d forgotten how good it felt to have him hold my hand like that. He brought me close to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

“I love you,” Gray said. “I’ve never said it to anyone before. And that’s the truth.”

The words made my heart flutter and beat faster at the same time. When I looked up at him, he looked more confident than I’d ever seen him look before.

“River, I love you,” Gray said again. “I love you so much.”

I took a deep breath to take in his words.

“I love you too, Gray. But I’m terrified of you. I love you, and I’m scared of you at the same time.”

Gray nodded and put his hand on the back of my head. “I’m terrified of you too. But we’ll find a way to make it work. I always do.”

I never thought Gray would come back, but he had. Not only had he come back, but he was also showing me that he finally understood who I was and accepted me wholeheartedly for it.

“I love you,” I said quietly against him.

“I love you,” Gray said.