I went back to my apartment and saw Josh in the kitchen cooking something. When he saw me come in, he smiled until he saw how puffy my eyes were because I’d cried all the way home on the streetcar.

“Riv,” Josh said, coming up to me to hug me.

I let him hold me in his arms.

“What happened?” he asked.

We sat on the couch, and it took me a good minute to stop hyperventilating to figure out what had just happened.

“Gray broke up with me,” I said.

Josh put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. Did you not have a good trip to Niagara Falls?”

I thought back on the weekend. “It was incredible. I haven’t had that much fun in a while with people who I thought genuinely cared about me. But when we came back, I guess Gray had second thoughts and decided to end it.”

Josh had gone through many breakups, and it was usually me who was the one consoling him. “You’ll get through it,” Josh said. “You always do. You’re the most resilient person I know, and it’s your scars that make you who you are.”

I thought about the welts on my ass, and yes, they were who I was, but they were also the reason that caused the breakup.

“It was a mistake to become an escort,” I said. “Not only am I ashamed of what I do, but I’m also ashamed of who I am. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who’ll love me.”

I could feel myself about to cry, and I took a deep breath to stop myself.

“You’re lovable,” Josh said. “A breakup doesn’t define who you are. It just means that it wasn’t with the right person.”

I could see how much Josh cared about me. He was feeling my pain. He understood what it felt like to be dumped.

“What do I do now?” I asked. “Being an escort is all I know. I can’t find a job in any law firm. I hate my life.”

Josh put his hand on my arm. “Stop saying things like that. You’re upset right now, and you think it’s the end of the world. In a week or two, you’ll realize that breaking up with him was for the better. You’ll find someone else. Look at you, Riv. You’re the most handsome guy I know, and people always underestimate how smart you are because of how innocent you look. But someone who really appreciates you and realizes the gem that you are will never let you go.”

I hoped he was right. Because I couldn’t stand another day feeling like I was unlovable, that all the choices I’ve made had been one mistake after another.

“You’ve never met Gray. I will never find someone better than him,” I said.

“That’s a ridiculous thing to say. That’s something I said to you after that asshole bartender broke up with me. Remember what you said?”

I shook my head.

Josh laughed. “You said he can go fuck himself, and then we went and got drunk.”

I laughed and cried at the same time.

“Maybe we need to do that,” I said.

Josh nodded. “Let’s go get drunk tonight. I was going to be healthy and cook dinner. But tonight’s not the night for that.”

Josh stood up from the couch and held my hand. How was I so lucky to have a best friend like him?

He turned off all the burners on the stove, and we left the apartment to go find a bar that was still open. We stumbled inside a pool bar close to our apartment. It was filled with people who were much older than us with tattoos on their arms and necks.

Josh pulled me over to the bar and ordered shots. The alcohol made my body and the bruises on my ass warm, and it only further reminded me of Gray.

Josh went over to a pool table where two men wearing leather jackets were playing a game.

“Can we play too?” Josh asked.

The men, who looked unapproachable at first, smiled.

“Of course, you can,” one of them said.

I felt less tense as we waited for the men to reset the game.

Josh turned to me. “Which one do you think is cuter?” he whispered.

I laughed. “Neither of them.”

“Really?” Josh said. “The one on the right is seriously giving you the eyes.”

“He looks like someone who wouldn’t react too kindly to getting hit on by other guys,” I said.

Josh shrugged. “Might as well give it a shot.”

We played a game of pool with them and enjoyed a pitcher of beer together. Even though Gray was the only thing on my mind, it was nice to be doing something with other people. I’d still be crying at home if Josh hadn’t dragged me out of the apartment.

I thought it was funny that Josh was flirting with one of the guys. He was only probably doing it to make me smile, and I guess it worked.

At the end of the night, when Josh asked for his number, the man politely declined.

“We’re actually together,” he said before they kissed each other.

Josh’s eyes widened and turned to me. “See, we both got rejected tonight, and it’s not the end of the world.”

He reached out his hand and gave me a high five.

“We’re celebrating the fact that we both got rejected?” I asked.

Josh smiled. “Hell yeah. You know what it’s time for? More shots!”