I woke up early in the morning and saw Harry in the kitchen feeding Pollock in his highchair. I stood at the top of the stairs where Harry couldn’t see me to watch him. It made me smile, seeing how patient he was with his baby. It made me want to be a father.

I walked down and greeted him.

“You woke up pretty late today,” Harry said.

I looked at the time and realized I’d missed an important call with the real estate agent about my new office. “Couldn’t really sleep last night.”

“Really?” Harry said. “I slept like a baby.”

I opened the fridge to grab the cold brew coffee and drank it straight from the container.

Harry watched me.

“You look different today,” Harry said.

“Different? How so?” I asked. “Did I gain a few pounds after this weekend?”

“No,” Harry said. “Your eyes look sad.”

“Since when did you become so aware of other people?” I said.

Harry gave me a dirty look. “I always have been. I’m just better at talking about it now.”

“Really?” I asked. “How come?”

“Well, being with Carter has made me a better communicator. Every time I want to shut down and not talk to anyone, he forces me to talk about it.”

I smiled. “Where is he even?”

“He’s at work. I want him to take a break from working. He works so much. I’d rather he stay home while I work. I wonder what he’d say to that.”

“I think Carter enjoys working more than you do. He seems like a guy who looks to be productive,” I said.

Harry raised his brow. “Are you calling me lazy?”

I nodded and smiled at him teasingly.

“Where’s River? I thought he stayed the night,” Harry said.

Hearing River’s name made me a bit nauseous.

“We broke up,” I said.

Harry dropped the spoon he was using to feed Pollock. “You what?”

“You heard me. I broke up with River.”

Harry shook his head. “Why?”

I sighed, thinking of how I could tell Harry the whole story. “It’s hard to explain. Maybe it’s better if I show you.”

“Show me?” Harry said. “What are you going to show me in your empty house?”

When Harry finished feeding Pollock, he was ready for a nap so Harry took him back into the guesthouse so he could sleep peacefully in his crib. Harry came back to the kitchen, and I led him downstairs into the basement.

“I’ve never been down here before. What are you trying to show me?”

“Just follow,” I said.

“Holy, can this place get any creepier? How old is this house? It’s like a million years old,” Harry said.

Whenever Harry got nervous, he had trouble keeping his mouth shut, which was the reason why he’d gotten in so many fights when he was younger.

I stood in front of the door of the playroom. For a second, I had the urge to keep it a secret and not show Harry. But I had to. I needed to get it off my chest.

I fumbled to find the right key and stuck it in the keyhole before opening it. It was dark so Harry couldn’t see anything until I turned on the light.

I studied his reaction to the room.

Harry’s eyes widened. “What the fuck?”

“I know,” I said. “How fucked up is this?”

Harry walked around slowly to look at everything on the wall with the same curiosity as River when he’d seen it for the first time.

“You set all this up?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, unable to look him in his eyes.

“This is so...cool,” Harry said.

“You think this is cool?” I asked.

Harry nodded. “I’ve always wanted to try kinky shit. But I’m not sure how Carter would react to it.”

I was the one who was surprised now. “Really? You don’t think this is fucked up and weird.”

“I mean it’s a little fucked up. But who am I to judge?” Harry said.

What Harry said resonated with me. I’d judged River for what he was into. I was afraid of someone finding out about this room and thinking that I was a freak. When in reality, the only person who cared was me.

“So, you broke up with River because you scared him away with this room?” Harry asked.

I shook my head. “I built this room just for River. But I was the one who ended things with him because I couldn’t face what we were doing sexually.”

Harry sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at me. “Damn, he must’ve been devastated.”

I nodded. “I am too. You know, I’m not as heartless as I appear. I actually really liked River.”

“I know. I saw the way you looked at him when you thought no one was watching.”

I felt self-conscious that Harry, of all people, noticed the way I looked at River.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” I asked.

Harry shrugged. “What do you think?”

I had a lot of thinking to do. But one thing I was certain about was that what River and I shared was special. Getting this playroom off my chest helped me deal with the shame I was feeling.

Harry went over to the sex swing and looked like he was trying to figure out how I’d secured it to the ceiling.

“This might be a weird question,” Harry said. “But is it okay if Carter and I come down here some time to try it out?”

I smiled. “Of course, you can, I can keep it unlocked for you guys.”

Harry looked around the room again. “I can’t believe I had no idea that this was down here. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”