Chapter Seventeen
♥
Alexandra lowered herself to the floor, sitting cross-legged because she didn’t trust herself to stay standing. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard? He’d looked murderous as he charged into the room, but Conor had caught his elbow, and they’d had a soft exchange she couldn’t catch a word of before Conor had carried Rowan from the room. She met his gaze, not knowing what Conor had said to him. He reached out his hand, and when she took it, he pulled her back to her feet. She pushed her face into his chest, sobbing for no reason and every reason.
Gabe stroked the back of her head. “I asked Karen to leave.”
What? “You’re sending Karen away?”
“I know I should have asked you, but she was getting a little high-handed, and I need us to be okay. She created a rift today, and it was uncalled for. I hope we can repair us, because I feel absolutely awful for allowing an intervention.”
“She’s bossy, but she puts up with me. Please tell me she didn’t quit.”
“She isn’t quitting. I made her promise she wouldn’t. I told her you, I, Conor, and Jonathon need to work on our communications skills as a ménage now that you and I are a strong couple again, and while her concern for your health was her job, we will do a better job managing your meal plans in the future if we get a handle on it while we are here in this quiet place.”
“And she was okay with that?”
“After a fashion. She handed me your food log and said she would happily use some of the vacation time she hasn’t used the past few years. I’m having her flown from here to Paris, and then Venice. From Venice she will go to Amsterdam and then London. She will spend a week in each city before rejoining us here for the flight home. She is near enough for her to have peace of mind, knowing she can return to you within hours in an emergency, while allowing us to have more privacy than we’ve had the past few months.”
“Who is going to help take care of Rowan?” Alexandra asked nervously.
“Emma Campbell and Jane Daly are going to take turns whenever Jonathon and Conor need a break,” Gabe answered. “They’re Mrs. Campbell’s granddaughters.”
“Granddaughters? How old are they?”
“You’ve met them when we arrived, remember? But almost thirty, I’d wager,” Gabe assured her. “Emma is the plain woman you’ve seen downstairs who seems to disappear into the shadows when you catch sight of her. She is very shy, quiet.”
“Don’t call a woman plain; that’s not nice,” Alexandra chastised him.
“Sorry.”
“I’d forgotten, but I do remember now. I’ve seen them both around. They never speak, or smile—”
“They will do fine as fill-in caregivers. Honestly, Rowan has been with me, Jonathon, or Conor much of the day anyway,” Gabe assured her. “I’m worried about you. “You don’t forget something as simple as a name, mo ghrá.” He pushed her bangs from her eyes when she looked away. “You’re not eating; you’re hiding for hours.”
“I haven’t hidden,” she argued.
“Running, hiding, whatever you want to call it; you are not here.”
“It’s not drugs.”
Gabe stroked her cheek. “I’ve known you long enough to know you’re battling mania. I’m sorry I allowed Karen to use my own fears for your health to make a wrong decision. Is there anything I need to know about?”
“I don’t vacation well. I warned you before we ever left.” She met his gaze, hoping he would believe her. “Thank you for apologizing for the ambush.” She dropped her face. “I do need to tell you something I’ve been keeping from you. Don’t get mad.”
Gabe’s expression didn’t change, and she worried her bottom lip.
“Are you going to tell me, or are you going to continue to keep it to yourself?”
“It’s about our wedding. Try to understand the position I’ve been in, okay?”
Gabe’s eyes narrowed. “You should probably start talking faster instead of making my thoughts fill in the blanks, because my mind is going to a very dark place.”
“Kiss me first?”
“No.”
Alexandra closed her eyes, fearing his reaction. “The president shanghaied our wedding. He and the First Lady have taken over all of the planning. It’s scheduled for January first at St. Patrick’s in DC, with the reception following at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. I know I should have told you before now. I didn’t know how because we were fighting, and then days turned into—”
“Alexandra? Look at me.”
She did as he asked.
“Do I look angry?”
She shook her head.
“I love you, I’m marrying you, and all I need to know is that you still want to marry me.”
“So badly,” she whispered, leaning toward him. “I feel like I’ve waited my whole life for you to be mine.”
Gabe kissed her and stroked her hair. “The where or when don’t matter, then, does it? As long as you are mine and I am yours. I want us to be all right.”
She nodded and melted against his mouth. “I love you, Padhraic MacGabhann. I need you, just you, for a little while longer. Would that be okay?”
“That is always all right.” Gabe cupped his hands under her bottom, and she jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He held her and kissed her long and deep. “Alastriona MacCionaodha, táim i ngrá leat. I will do anything to ensure your happiness, and that includes giving you enough space to build relationships with both Conor and Jonathon.”
“We knew it would be a little messy, but things are good now, right?”
“Very good.” Gabe wiped away her tears. “Can I kiss you now?”
Alexandra pulled her mouth from his and searched his face. What did you hear from the doorway? Why did you look so angry? “Make love to me?”
She didn’t wait for him to answer, instead dropping to her knees in front of him. She unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, and pushed his pants and underwear down far enough to expose he was already growing hard.
She pushed back his foreskin and licked around his corona.
“Xandra?”
She bit the sensitive inside of his thigh, a hard, fast nip that was going to leave him bruised. “Shh, relax. Isn’t that what you’re so fond of saying?”
“God, woman.”
She slid his stiff cock into her mouth, taking him deep and smiling when his glans hit the back of her throat, causing him to moan. She swallowed, and he went slightly deeper. She fought through the gag reflex and started massaging him hard with the muscles in her mouth and throat.
“Xandra! Stop, stop, stop.”
She released her hold and pulled him from her mouth. “Did I do it wrong?”
He helped her stand and hugged her face. “Your mouth. I refuse to be reduced to a thirty-second man because I can’t seem to maintain any control around you.”
She smiled with half of her mouth. “So it was good?”
He snorted. “Good, she asks?”
Gabe pulled her backward. “Bend over the mattress.”
She started to push down her pants, but he caught her hands and shook his head. “Just bend over the bed.”
Alexandra frowned but did as he asked.
He slid his hands over her clothing, rubbing her shoulders before taking his hands under her to cup her breasts and squeeze softly.
“Gabe?”
He dragged his fingers over her rib cage, and the cloth touching her skin teased as much as his touch. When he finally reached the waistband of her pants, she was hopeful, but he didn’t pull them down. He rubbed her ass and then caressed the insides of her thighs. She whispered, “Please.”
“Please?”
“I need you.”
He teased his fingers up the insides of her thighs and then over her hips.
“You need me?”
“Yes! Yes! Please.”
“Mmmm, love. I need you so badly. I’m trying to be gentle, because it’s the last thing I want to be.”
His admission made her shiver. She whispered, “You don’t have to be gentle.” s
“Yes, I do.” He pushed her pants and underwear just below her ass.
Gabe squeezed her ass, so gently she moaned and lifted toward his hand. He chuckled and pushed his hand between her thighs. “You’re very wet. Tell me about this.”
“I don’t understand.” She undulated against his hand.
“Tell me why you are so wet.”
“Need you.”
“In a sentence, love. Start with I’m wet because…”
She whimpered as his fingertips barely entered her.
“I’m wet because I need you so badly. You do this to me.”
Gabe separated her lower lips with his fingers and then squatted. He licked the length of her slit. “You taste so good.”
“Please, Gabe, your teasing is killing me.”
“I’m teasing you? Is that what I’m doing?”
He stood and bent over her, rubbing his clothing against her bare bottom and making her cry out in frustration. When he straightened, she hoped it was to finally fuck her, but hearing his zipper slide, she realized he was closing up his jeans. “Gabe? Please, tell me what I’ve done wrong.” She stood and faced him as he buckled his belt.
With tears pooling in her eyes, she pulled up her pants. “I swear I’m not using anything.”
She searched his face, and his expression was fierce as he searched her face as long and carefully as she was his. Alexandra started to get scared.
“If we are going to work on strengthening our relationship as well as the ménage, I need you to do something. You said you’d try to understand the dynamic Conor and I both share with Jonathon, and we’d like to sometimes share with you. Can I teach you a bit about surrender?”
Her lips parted. Surrender? “Not dominance, right?”
“Relax. I’m not going to do anything you don’t agree to. I’ll ask before each step.”
“Each step? I don’t understand.”
He took her hand and led her across the bedroom and pushed open the door to the bathroom. “Relieve yourself.”
She looked from him to the toilet. “You get me so worked up I’m ready to scream, and now you want me to pee in front of you?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I want.”
“You’ve seen me pee before. I’m pretty sure I’ve squatted and pissed in front of you about a bazillion times over the years.”
“But I haven’t commanded you to do it.” He closed the door behind them and leaned against it, arms crossed.
“You’re serious?” She gaped at him and, after determining he was quite sincere, took a deep breath. “This is weird. Just saying.”
She pulled down her yoga pants and underwear and sat down on the toilet…and nothing happened. “Do you have to watch me like that?”
“Would you rather I kneel in front of you for a view front and center?”
“God, no!” She closed her eyes and pretended he wasn’t there. She finally heard the first sounds of tinkling as her urine hit the water. All her muscles relaxed. She opened her eyes and met his gaze as she wiped. “Happy?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, this is very strange.” She stood up, pulled up her underwear and pants, and then washed her hands.
“Are you certain you’re finished with everything you need to do in here?”
She pursed her lips, not liking what she thought he meant. “If you think for a minute I’m taking a dump in front of you, not happening.”
He closed the distance between them and lifted her chin forcefully to look into her eyes menacingly. “If I was dominating you, that’s exactly what would happen if I demanded it.”
She exhaled and inhaled sharply, her mouth dropping open in shock.
He released her, and she stumble-stepped backward. “But that isn’t today’s lesson in surrender.”
Thank fucking God.
Gabe motioned her closer and she went to him without qualm. He again lifted her and she wrapped her arms and legs tightly around him. He kissed her passionately. “Thank you.”
“For letting you watch me pee?”
“For trusting me and surrendering to me. Ready for step two?”
“Are we leaving this room?”
“Yes, we’re leaving this room.”
“Awesome. I’m ready.”
He chuckled, and she smiled, liking the sudden twinkle in his eye. She had no idea what was next, but she did like seeing pleasure in his gaze and knowing she’d put it there. He carried her into the bedroom and set her back down. “Take off all of your clothes and lie in the center of the bed. Do you have any problem with step two so far?”
She didn’t think of it as a command until he asked if she was okay with it. She shrugged and started removing her clothing. When she was finished, she lay down in the center of the bed. She watched him retrieve one of the smaller bags he’d packed. He set it beside her, and unexpectedly, uncertainty filled her mind as she wondered if she was ready for step three if step three was inside the bag. She remembered Jonathon cuffed to the bed with a ball gag in his mouth.
He pulled his shirt over his head, folded it, and laid it on the chest at the base of the bed. She watched him appreciatively. His muscles seemed to ripple with the simplest of tasks.
Returning to the bag, he unzipped it and withdrew two lengths of rope. “I want to tie some loops around your hands. Is that okay?”
She frowned, brow furrowing. “Are you going to hurt me like you hurt Jonathon?”
“No.”
She worried her bottom lip with her fingers, not answering.
“If it’s okay, hold out one wrist.”
Her mind tried to puzzle the difference between surrender and dominance, and her only conclusion was giving him something because she wanted to versus having him force her to do something whether she wanted to or not. She held out her arm. He kissed the inside of her wrist.
“Thank you for trusting me by giving me this small surrender.” He quickly and deftly looped and crisscrossed the ropes, creating a pattern down her wrist. “Will you allow me to bind your other wrist?”
She didn’t contemplate at all. She held out her wrist to him, and he repeated the exact pattern on the second wrist.
He gently placed both wrists to her sides. “Do you feel relaxed in the position you are in?”
“I am as relaxed as I get.”
“Good.” He lifted her arms over her head. “Still comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“Will you allow me to attach the ropes to the headboard?”
Alexandra bit her lip, thinking too much, remembering Jonathon restrained to the bed, his body bright pink from the flogger. It’s Gabe. It’s fine. Right? “Don’t hurt me.”
“I promise I will not hurt you. Today’s lesson is surrender. I want you to bend to my will. Pain is a lesson we will only explore if and when you are ready.”
Her lips parted as her brain repeated what he’d just said. Her heart started racing. Do I want this? Do I want to surrender to him? “If I surrender to your will, it in no way implies I will ever allow you to dominate me in the future, agreed?”
“Agreed. Today in no way implies any consent for future activities.”
She exhaled heavily, resigned to let him do whatever he needed to do to get it out of his system. “You may tie me to the headboard.”
Gabe kissed Alexandra’s forehead as he pulled the rope binding her wrists to the bed frame tight and knotted it off. “Test the ropes.”
Alexandra tried pulling her hands through the loops wrapped around her wrists, but the ropes were too tight. She wrapped her hands around the knots holding her to the bedpost and pulled. They didn’t give an inch. Seriously? Why had she assumed this game they were playing was just a game, and she could slide her hands from the ropes at any time of her choosing?
“Nervous?”
She didn’t answer, but her brain whirled around the fact she was really tied to a bed, trapped, and at his mercy. Huh. Curious. “You’ve done this before?”
“Many times before,” he whispered against her mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “But I’ve never enjoyed it as much as this moment. Ever since I first started learning shibari, I’ve wanted to share the experience with you. May I decorate your body with my rope now?”
“My body?” she repeated, feeling more apprehensive. “You want to tie rope around me?”
“Very much so.”
She frowned at the look of hope and joy reflected in his eyes. How on earth is this making you so happy?
“We don’t have to. I only wanted to share something with you because it seems I am keeping secrets, but in truth it is hard to share the parts of myself I have kept you in the dark about for a very long time. This is part of my past I’ve kept from you. I’ve toyed with Japanese erotic rope bondage since Belfast. I am now considered a master of shibari, the actual knotting practice, and kinbaku, considered the art of erotic tying. In the US, shibari is becoming the catchall phrase preferred.”
“Master, is it?” Alexandra said teasingly. “Don’t get too excited, buster. I’ve already told you, I’ll not call you Master.”
“I’d never ask you to,” he promised.
“And no collars!”
He chuckled and stroked her cheek. “You are doing well. Thank you for trusting me this far. I would like very much if this was something we could enjoy doing together in the future, if you discover you enjoy being in my rope.”
Meaning I have to first experience the rope to make a decision. She met his gaze. “Please, continue.”
He bound her breasts, separating them and then pinching them between the ropes. It hurt for only a second, but it didn’t remain terribly uncomfortable. He continued tying rope, creating an intricately braided pattern down her body.
She watched as he took the rope behind her, only to pull it back to her front by looping the rope between her legs and then tying the same intricately knotted pattern over her mons. The knotted pattern was a solid weight between her legs, against her vagina and clit.
“Has any woman ever called you Master?” she asked, the truth again being forced into her brain that he’d gone from the boy she loved to the man she loved with years in the middle she knew absolutely nothing about.
“Is this a conversation we’re really going to have now?”
Alexandra met his gaze, still frowning, still trying to solve the puzzle of how in the hell she was so rapidly bound to a bed and unable to escape. “No, not now. Might be a bit inappropriate, but sometime I would like the answer.”
“I will answer any questions you ask of me about my past, full disclosure, but it’s a conversation I’d prefer we both had clothes on for, so we’re both more comfortable.”
“Agreed.”
“You’re still frowning,” he reminded her as he divided the rope sections to travel down each leg. He looped and tied the ropes in a pattern all the way to her ankles, where he secured each to the bed frame. “You’re thinking too hard, and the goal of all this is to help your mind find the void. You might even learn to relax enough to sleep within the embrace of my rope.”
“It’s the middle of the day, and I’m not going to be able to sleep in this rope.” Alexandra exhaled audibly. “Have you tied up a lot of women? Or men?”
Gabe smiled like a Cheshire cat. “Again, I ask, is this a question you want answered now?”
Curious. So, he has? Or he hasn’t? “Yes, this is something I would like to know the answer to now.”
“I am a Master, Xandra; it is implied I’ve put in hundreds of hours of practice to perfect my technique. I have photographs of every session I have ever done, and I will gladly share them with you if you want me to. I’ve promised you full disclosure. No secrets, but for now, no more questions.” He walked around the room, turning the brighter lights off and turning two soft-light lamps on.
“So now what?” she asked.
Gabe straddled her and met her gaze. “So now you surrender to my rope.”
“I don’t understand.”
He pressed her eyes closed and whispered, “Relax. Surrender.”
“Relax? Are you insane? I don’t ever really relax.”
He stroked the side of her face, and she pushed her cheek against his fingers.
“That’s not relaxing. That’s responding to my touch,” he whispered.
Alexandra started to argue, but his hand quickly covered her mouth. Her eyes went wide, and she tried to pull her face away, but he pinched his hand tighter to her face. “You are still fighting against the single task I gave you. Relax. Surrender to that simple command.”
His voice stayed at an even timbre, a calming voice, but her heart raced, pushing adrenaline.
Every muscle in her body tensed, ready to flee, but she was bound.
“If I release your mouth, will you remain silent and try to be more cooperative?”
She took a deep breath and exhaled, closing her eyes. Deep breath, exhale, relax. She nodded. Deep breath, exhale, relax.
“Good, keep doing that. It’s the hardest part. If you conquer your will to struggle, you succeed in surrendering to my rope. The more often someone is tied and surrenders, the greater the experience becomes. Surrender becomes addictive to some who possess no ability to relax naturally, so I will be very careful with you.”
“Don’t leave,” she whispered, hating the fear in her voice.
“I won’t leave. By trusting in the fact I am here to watch over you, to keep you safe, you can relax more deeply than you have ever been able to.”
Deep breath, exhale, relax.
Alexandra lost track of time and couldn’t be certain if minutes passed or hours.
Her body pulsed within the ropes. Her mind exploded with thought, too many thoughts all at once, too many problems to solve, too many questions unanswered.
Alexandra’s breathing changed to quick pants.
Rowan. “Where’s Rowan?”
“Shh, she’s safe with Conor.” Gabe climbed onto the mattress beside her and stroked her arm. “You’re okay. She’s okay. I’m here.”
She pushed the fear away. She knew Conor would keep Rowan safe while she was tied up and unable to protect her.
If you never know you had something, it hurts less when it’s gone.
Images filled her brain of the baby girl she’d miscarried. She’d refused a D&C, which would have quickened the entire process, but she’d wanted an autopsy. She needed to know exactly what had gone wrong.
Her skin had been translucent, and she had been so small.
I can’t go through that again. I can’t.
“No!” Alexandra dropped into full panic mode, struggling against the ropes. The pain caused by the ropes biting into her helped make her brain stop thinking.
“Alexandra! Look at me!” Gabe grabbed her face. “Don’t struggle; you’ll hurt yourself.”
Panting, heart racing, she met his gaze.
“What happened?”
“Thoughts, too many thoughts.”
“Okay, relax; I’m going to untie you now. Watch me so you will know it is happening.”
“Don’t untie me.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to fail at this. I don’t want this to be another thing you enjoy but we can’t do together because I fear it. Just help me make this work.”
He passed his hand over her face slowly. “Close your eyes and relax again. I’m here. You are safe.”
Alexandra closed her eyes, and Gabe stroked her. She exhaled the fear; his touch helped her mind accept that she wasn’t alone. She liked being touched gently and hearing him whisper to her softly.
“I’m very proud of you for working through your fears.”
She whispered, “Trying.”
“I enjoy seeing you in my rope and knowing you’re mine.” He kissed her tenderly. “I would like to take two photographs of you with my phone so we can remember this moment.”
“So I will be just another photo tucked in beside so many others?”
“No, the photos are for you to start your own collection.” He whispered, “I would like shibari and kinbaku to be something we share. It would make me very happy.”
Her lips parted as the thought swirled through her mind that he would only say that if he had a collection. He took the photos, and in the next moment she started to struggle.
Gabe caught her face in his hands. “Talk to me.”
“My brain, overloading.”
“Relax.” He placed his hands around her neck and lowered his mouth to kiss her gently. She was so completely involved in the slow, teasing kiss, she didn’t notice his hands begin to tighten, slowly, so very slowly her brain didn’t comprehend it wasn’t getting an adequate exchange of oxygen.
SHE DIDN’T STRUGGLE. Only when her body responded, thrashing violently, did he know she was close to losing consciousness. He loosened his hands.
She inhaled deeply.
“Open your eyes.” He met her gaze and sat up. Still straddling her, he drew his hands down the length of her torso. “Did you find the void?”
She tried to focus on him, but he knew her vision was probably slightly blurred. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.
She answered, “Close.”
“You have so little perception of danger; it is only when your body instinctively struggles without your directing it that you react at all. Did you even consider struggling?”
Alexandra shrugged in his rope. “What would be the point? You tied the ropes securely.”
“If you want to do a scene in the future, promise you will only play with me until I am able to teach you safe limits.”
“A scene? Play?” she asked.
“Bondage and dominance,” he answered. “I set the scene, a lesson in surrender. The action within the scene―what we call what is happening between us now―is play.”
“Conor would like to dominate me. Would that be called play?”
“It might be, but I’m not fully comfortable with the idea of you allowing Conor to restrain you or dominate you, Xandra, not yet. I want you to learn your limits with me so I will know that you can play safely.”
“Have you seen him in the role of Dominant in your blood red room?”
“Many times. His sessions tend to be extremely physical and emotional, a very stressful combination for the submissive.”
“He was too rough? You feared for their safety?”
“Honestly, I know how closely you walk the edge of the abyss on a daily basis. That’s what worries me.”
“Have you ever fucked anyone while you’ve had them tied up like this?”
“Xandra.” He heard the frustration in her voice.
“I want you to fuck me. Is it possible? That’s what I want to know.”
He swallowed hard. He hadn’t planned on taking the lesson that far. “If I do, you may begin to feel uncomfortable, because the lesson will move from surrender to domination.”
She met his gaze. “Please. Do it. I want to know what it feels like to be trapped in your rope and at your mercy. If that is dominance, so be it.”
He knew what her words were saying, but he also knew she had no idea what she was asking for. He finally nodded and placed a velvet eye mask over her eyes. “If you become afraid—”
“I’m not afraid.”
“If you do become afraid and want to stop…say the word red. Understand?”
“I understand.”
He closed his mouth over hers, claiming her with lips and tongue and teeth, and she couldn’t respond with her hands or arms. All she could do was kiss him back as he ran his hands over her body. He pinched her nipples hard, and she cried out. He imagined they’d become even more sensitive than they had been an hour before.
“God! Gabe!”
He lowered his mouth to her nipple and drew it to a tight point with intense sucking. She cursed under her breath and arched her back, her reaction one of need. Her body wanted more than he was ready to give as he took his mouth to the other nipple.
“Please, please, please.”
Her lower body humped within the restraint of the rope.
He returned to her mouth, sucking her lower lip into his mouth. He sucked it gently before releasing it to repeat the same action on her tongue.
“Um-hmm,” he hummed into her open mouth, and she responded to the kiss, becoming aggressive, battling his tongue with her own.
He kneaded her breasts with the same rhythm as their kiss, until she moaned deep in her throat. He slid his hands in place to pinch both her nipples simultaneously, pinching and releasing in the same rhythm with which he was kissing her.
She pulled her mouth away, panting. “I want your fingers inside me!”
“Patience, love,” he whispered against her cheek. “Being under my control is all about learning patience.”
“I will die before I learn the patience of this game,” she said emphatically.
He pinched her nipple harder, and she cried out. “Does this feel like a game?”
She pushed her head into the pillow and tried to move away from the fingers tormenting her flesh, but she couldn’t get away.
“No, no. It doesn’t really feel like a game.”
“Some people need pain to find pleasure―any pleasure―in sex.”
“Masochists?”
“Yes,” he whispered against her face. “You’re not a masochist.”
“No, and you’re not a sadist.”
“Correct, I am not a sadist. You are still finding pleasure in my rope, finding pleasure in the pain the rope gives you when you struggle? Even though you are not a masochist?”
“Yesss,” she hissed, fighting against the bindings.
“And I am finding extreme pleasure in causing you both pleasure and torment. That is the problem that plagued me in Belfast. As much as I wanted you, I couldn’t risk hurting you, so I went in search of my darkness.”
“You found it?” She panted, still struggling against the ropes. He could feel her wearing herself out beneath him.
“I did, and I tamed it. I learned to gain pleasure from it and give others pleasure with it. Do you understand now, why our time apart was important?”
“With my crazy and your darkness, we could have killed each other?”
“I believed so at the time; that’s why I sent you away.”
She collapsed against the bed and closed her eyes. “Will you untie me now?”
“Tell me what you’re feeling.”
“Exhausted. I’m tired of fighting the rope. I’m tired of you not giving me what my body wants.”
He kissed her mouth softly. “You have no more fight in you?”
She shook her head, not opening her eyes. “Not today.”
“You’re feeling what it is like to surrender.”
GREAT. FUCKING PERFECT. Lesson learned. “Let me go.”
“Not yet.”
“Are you going to let me orgasm around your dick? Because if not, I’m not interested.”
“Soon. Surrender during the final lesson, and I promise I will make love to you.”
“Another lesson? No, I don’t have it in me.”
“All I want you to do is orgasm, sweetheart. Orgasm, within my rope, without my dick,” he commanded and lowered his mouth to hers.
She felt herself surrendering to his kiss as he filled her mouth with his tongue. She didn’t kiss him back. She didn’t battle his tongue with her own. She cried out when he sucked her tongue into his mouth, the sucking quickly becoming painful, and he resumed pinching her nipples with the same rhythm he was torturing her tongue with. Her body arched and bucked as primal need overwhelmed her.
The ropes at her wrists and ankles strained, making her scream with frustration. The loops pressed deeper into her flesh, but even with the pain, she couldn’t stop her body from humping and straining as he kissed her and pinched her nipples.
She wanted to be done and started to sob, the sound desperate in her throat, but he didn’t stop kissing or pinching, and he wouldn’t allow her clit the contact it craved.
Her vagina started to throb to the rhythm of his kiss and painful pinches.
“Gabe!”
An orgasm tore through her unexpectedly, shaking her to her core, and she shrieked with the rhythm of the intense waves.
Gabe released her mouth, stopped pinching, and quickly released the tension on the ropes. He gathered her to him, holding her tight as she sobbed. “Shh, sweetheart. Shh, you’re okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
She relaxed in his arms and tried to remember how to breathe normally, how to think, but all she could do was sob.
“I’m going to stop holding you for only a moment while I untie you. Do you understand?”
She nodded, feeling his fingers fly over her skin, feeling the ropes release their grip, and then she was back in his arms, her head pressed over his heart. She was glad the beating rhythm was there for her to focus on. Gabe kissed her temple. “Thank you for your surrender. I’ve wished so many times to have you in my rope, and you were just as beautiful as I imagined you’d be.”
“Show me the pictures.” She pushed the eye mask off.
Gabe held up his phone, showing her the frozen images of her in the rope. Seeing herself restrained was disturbing. She wasn’t so certain she liked having images of herself in that position, the look on her face so desperate. She turned away.
“Do not be embarrassed by anything we do together, mo ghrá.”
“You promised to make love to me.”
“I did, didn’t I?” He met her gaze, and she nodded.
“Please make love to me.”
He inched out from under her and stood, not releasing her gaze. He removed his jeans and underwear. She waited for him to cover her body with his. He didn’t make her wait. He straddled her. “This position?”
She nodded, feeling limp. She hoped he didn’t expect active participation.
He smiled a small smile and pushed her legs apart. He lifted her bottom as he slid his cock into her. “God, you are so wet.”
“That’s good, right?”
He laughed. “Very good. I think you’re a bit endorphin drunk.”
“I like endorphin drunk,” she responded. “Don’t be gentle; please, don’t be gentle. I really, really want you to fuck me like you mean it.”
He thrust fast, hard, and deep, making her cry out. She cried out with every thrust until the sharp sound became a keening scream as multiple waves rolled over her.