Chapter Twenty-One
♥
Four days later, Alexandra was bored out of her mind and still stuck in bed, because every time she stood, she either fell backward, dizzy, or vomited. Gabe had moved a small television into the room and sat with her day after day, watching anything that appealed to her moment by moment. He’d tried his best to hide his relief when the hospital called to let him know that Jonathon was finally being discharged.
Gabe turned the responsibility of entertaining her over to Conor when he left the house to pick Jonathon up at the hospital. She knew he’d been thrilled. Since Jonathon would still be recuperating, he could be stuck in bed with her, watching television and putting up with her foul moods. Of course Gabe would never admit the truth, but he’d been avoiding her. She took a deep breath, knowing in her heart it didn’t mean anything. She was tough to put up with some days. Most days.
Conor lifted the remote and changed the channel. “I like having you to myself—”
“What?”
He met her gaze and leaned in to claim her lips, but didn’t touch—her heart started racing. She caught her weight against his chest as a wave of dizziness caught her off guard. She wasn’t sure if it was concussion or man since all the air was also suddenly being sucked from the room. She licked her lower lip, wanting to close the distance between their mouths—
Shh!” She rolled from the bed and stood.
“What’s wrong?”
She gestured for him to be quiet and leaned closer to the small screen.
“With her September disappearance still unexplained, Dr. Alexandra Van Zant, best known for her ménage à quatre sex-tape scandal and quickie annulment, stirred controversy in October when it was revealed the newly single woman had adopted her first child and become the president’s advisor,” a reporter announced.
“I’m an acclaimed geneticist! What the fuck is this ‘best known for a sex tape’ bullshit?” She shrieked. “Bullfuckingshit! That’s what it is!” Alexandra covered her ears. “Turn it off!”
Conor aimed the remote to turn off the television, but not quickly enough to keep her from hearing, “Now, with December here, she is still trending on social media. Late last night, TMZ broke the story that she is pregnant and hiding out in Ireland.”
“Someone at the hospital leaked the information?”
Hashtag whoisthefather has been trending ever since.”
“Sorry,” Conor said, as the screen darkened. He closed the distance between them, but she didn’t go into his outstretched arms.
“Hashtag whoisthefather? Seriously?” She crossed the room to lean into the windowsill. She stared at the ominous clouds signaling yet another storm was coming in from the coast. Shaking with anger, she dropped her face and started crying softly. “I’m a fucking geneticist; if I wanted to know, I’d already know. Jesus.”
Conor lifted her into his arms, catching her weight as her knees buckled under her. He lifted her into his arms and whispered against her face, “Does it really matter if the world knows who the father is? Does it matter that it gives the world something to gossip about for a minute?”
“You don’t understand, I never want to know who the father is,” she declared passionately. “I don’t want paternity jealousy to destroy the ménage from within.”
Conor carried her back to the bed and laid her down. He propped pillows behind her. “Is that all of it? Or are you afraid TJ might be the father and you’d be forced by the courts to share custody with him?”
Alexandra shook her head. “There’s not a chance in hell TJ is the father. I couldn’t tell you the last time we had sex. More than months, actually more than a year.”
Conor grasped her shoulders and met her gaze. “More than a year?”
Alexandra nodded, admitting, “Nineteen months, three weeks, and seven days,” as she tapped her head, reminding, “Perfect recall,” then seeing the astonishment in Conor’s eyes, explained, “Intimacy was never a priority in our marriage.”
“That’s a very sad statement.”
She pouted. “It is when I take the time to think about it.”
“Back to paternity,” he reminded and she revealed, “I don’t want to know because what if it was the man sent to kidnap and torture me? I don’t want my love for my babies to be affected by hate.”
Conor nodded but she could tell by the way he was looking at her he still had questions. She diverted, “I’m scared. I’m tired of being chased by kidnappers and assassins, and being pregnant makes me even more vulnerable than I was.”
“I know, mo chroí. I know.” He pressed his face into her neck. “We will protect you and them.”
She snorted, then covered her mouth.
“We’ve been doing such a bang-up job so far, aye?”
“I didn’t mean—Damn. I’m very glad to have the three of you to protect me, to protect us, but they’re so fucking determined. Can they be stopped? Ever?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “Is it even fair to bring babies into the disaster of my life?”
“Is it fair to deny them life?” Conor sat on the bed and dropped backward. She ended up lying across his chest with her head on his heart.
Alexandra exhaled shakily. “I don’t want you to think I want to abort, because I don’t. It’s why I fired Dr. Claassen. She was so resolute to convince me. Like I need a lecture on genetics because I don’t understand my mental illness is hereditary? I got so scared when she refused to take no for an answer. Then she threatened me with a psych hold and I knew I wouldn’t be able to protect my babies if that happened.”
Conor sat up and turned to look at her, his expression lethal. “You believe she would have aborted your babies without your permission?”
Alexandra hugged herself and shivered. “Maybe it’s just my paranoia, but the things she said to me…my terror was justified.”
“That’s not right. No physician has the right to play god like that.”
Alexandra moved into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m terrified I’ll lose them. It’s a long time until twenty-eight weeks.”
“Twenty-eight weeks? What happens then?” He rolled her under him so he could meet her gaze fully.
“It’s the absolute earliest I’ll feel safe delivering them.”
He shook his head, confused. “Why is that even a thought?”
“I’m completely unmedicated. It might not be an option. My health will begin to deteriorate. I’m already struggling to keep the weight on that I have. If I continue to vomit after every meal… My heart and pancreas can only hang in so long. The babies will have a ninety-five percent chance of survival even if they have to be in an incubator for a while.”
♥ ♥ ♥
Conor eventually convinced her to nap, and as soon as she was asleep, he started researching high-risk obstetrics in Ireland. He found only a handful of physicians capable of addressing all of Alexandra’s medical issues. He called each one and finally found one willing to consult, Orlaith Ó Baoighealláin. Now he just had to convince Alexandra to forward her medical records for review before their first meeting…and drive back to the university hospital in Cork for an initial exam.
♥ ♥ ♥
Alexandra stretched and pushed up her sleep mask. Conor was still sleeping at her side. She woke him up by unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping them.
“What are you doing?”
She met his gaze. “Staying in bed like a good girl.”
She held his gaze while she pushed his briefs below his cock and balls. “Either you have very good control over your body, or I have lost all appeal in my newly pregnant state. Which is it?”
“Which do you believe?” he asked.
She slid her hand up and down his shaft, but he barely stirred. She smiled. “I do like a challenge.”
She dropped down and took his glans into her mouth. She tugged his penis out straight, pulling it to its maximum length with her teeth caught around his corona.
“Xandra,” he whispered.
She released him and sat up. “Have I ever given you a proper blowjob?”
He exhaled, and she heard the self-discipline reining him in so tightly.
“Perhaps that first night when we were all out of control—like animals?”
She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.
“I liked you unrestrained. I’ll never forget what it felt like to be picked up by my throat and shoved into a wall so hard the wind was knocked out of me. I could have come in that moment. No one had ever touched me like you touched me that night. No one had ever talked to me as coarsely as you talked to me.” She looked at his cock, seeing that his length stirred. She slid her hand over the silken length and then wrapped her fingers around the warm shaft. Up. Down.
Conor caught her wrist, stopping the stroke. “You are killing me.”
“You called me a dirty slut that night.” Keeping her gaze locked on his, she lowered her head and slipped the tip of his shaft into her mouth.
Conor inhaled sharply as she swirled her tongue in teasing circles. She licked her lips and slid them down his length and then back up slowly. “Do you ever think of that night?”
“God. Yes-s.” He closed his eyes, and his head dropped forward.
“Do you regret treating me so roughly?”
He opened his eyes and met her gaze. “No.”
“Do you regret calling me degrading names?”
“Did you enjoy it?”
She leered slyly. “Maybe.”
She unbuttoned her pajama top slowly. “I can’t wait until we can be alone, completely alone, and you can speak to me the way you want to.”
“The way you want me to?”
She exhaled, whispering, “Yes.”
She slid out of the PJ top and rose onto her knees to push the matching bottoms down. He caught her hands. “You can’t. We can’t.”
“On Gabe’s orders?” She pulled off the bottoms.
“Doctor’s orders.”
She smiled wickedly. “You’ve already proven you can be very, very gentle when you want to be.”
“Aye, but you’re not wanting me to be gentle. You’re trying to get a rise out of the beast within me.”
“Who? Me?” She laughed; her smile quickly disappeared as she slid her lips over his length, pulling him deeply inside, fast and hard. She glided her mouth back up, then plunged down his shaft, taking part of his length into her throat. She swallowed, and the muscles squeezed and released.
Conor moaned.
She circled his glans with her tongue and then teased under the edge of the corona before closing her mouth over his length. She made a gagged sound but took him as deep as she could, squeezing her throat around his cock, hugging his dick with her throat. She felt the throb of his ejaculate pulsing from him.
“Holy mother of God.” He slid his hands up her arms and pulled his shaft from her mouth. “What am I ever going to do with you, naughty girl?”
She shrugged and Conor chuckled as he pushed her down into the mattress. He left the bed and stood, divesting himself of his jeans and briefs. “If it wasn’t for your concussion, I’d spank you soundly.”
She gasped, getting caught in his gaze. Gabe had spanked her, but Conor had never even mentioned it.
He smiled wickedly as he crawled back onto the bed, and she thought he looked like a great cat on the prowl. “Would you like that, Alexandra? Would you like me to spank you, or would you kick and scream and be a little brat?”
Jesus.
He cupped her cheek in his palm. “Don’t be shy now.”
“I’d like it,” she whispered, then admitted saucily, “I’d probably need to kick and scream a little.”
“Are you so certain?” he reminded her, “I am a Dom. Are you so certain?”
“Ummm.”
“If you acted too much like a little brat, I’d pull my belt free from the loops, hold you down on the bed, and lay into you?”
Alexandra bit her bottom lip. “Do you want me to fear the beast I stir in you?”
“It would be best if you feared him a little, mo chroí.” He rubbed his thumb over her lip. “It would make you more cautious about summoning him.” He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and held tight as he pressed his mouth to hers, and there was nothing gentle about it, the force of it making her cry out but he didn’t stop and she didn’t want him to as every single thought flew from her mind.
He stole her breath, and when he released her, she was gasping for air.
“I owe you a spanking, sweetheart, and I promise you won’t like it. You’ll beg me to stop before I’m through with you. You’ll be sobbing, tears running from your eyes and snot running from your nose, and I’ll still show you no mercy.”
Heart racing, she hoped he was joking, but she was sure he wasn’t. She trembled beneath him. “Conor?”
He closed his eyes and stroked her cheeks. “God, Xandra. You’re fucking hitting all of my buttons today. I like feeling your thighs shaking nervously beneath mine way too much, and the more fear you show, the more my beast will react to it, so be very careful.”
“You would hurt me?”
“Would you want me to?”
She nodded, and he buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. She drew her nails down his back. “Can you be gentle, Conor? I need you so desperately.”
He rose over her and pressed his knee between her legs, pushing them apart, making room for him. He reached between her legs and teased along her slit, collecting her moisture. “You are so fucking wet.”
He took his fingers to his mouth and tasted her. “So sweet.”
He stroked through her wetness again, this time taking his wet fingers toward her mouth. “Do you want a taste of yourself?”
“Yes,” she whispered and then opened her mouth.
He held them just out of reach. He locked on to her gaze, and it was mesmerizing. “Say, ‘Please let me taste, Sir.’”
She repeated, “Please let me taste, Sir.”
He pressed the wet fingers into her mouth. “That’s a good girl. Lick them clean.”
She licked and sucked until there was nothing left to taste, and then she sucked a little longer. He chuckled. “You are such a greedy girl.”
He pulled his hand away. “Tell me what you want.”
“Please fuck me.”
He shook his head, and she pouted. “Please fuck me, Sir.”
“I don’t want to fuck you, Xandra. Ask yourself what I want.”
She frowned, her hips starting to shake with need, she wanted him so desperately. She licked her lips. “Make love to me gently, Sir?”
“I will make love to you gently, but don’t get too used to that, understand?”
She nodded.
“Do you? Explain it to me.”
“You’ll make love to me carefully for the sake of the babies, but once they are born, you will be open to set your beast free a little.”
“Just a little?”
She shrugged. “I hope you will give me only as much of your beast as I can handle.”
Conor smiled wickedly. “Bend your knees.”
She did as he ordered, and he lifted her bottom enough to slide a pillow beneath her hips. He pressed the tip of his erection into her vagina and leaned forward, letting his motion fill her gradually. He kissed her tenderly as he slid deeper. He then drew back just as leisurely.
“God, Conor. It can’t be that slow. Please.”
“Sh-h, relax and feel the sensation of being filled and emptied.” He pressed in and withdrew. When she cried out in frustration, he kissed her, silencing the sound. She pulled her mouth free.
“No, no, no, no, no! Please!”
Conor caught her face between his thumb and middle finger, pinching her cheeks together so she couldn’t beg. “Be a good girl and take what I give you.”
He continued to press in and out of her slowly.
Need more, need more!
“Do you feel me sliding in and out of you?”
She nodded.
“Yeah? Does it feel so good?”
She closed her eyes as her pussy throbbed with need. Deeper, press deeper.
“Reach between us and touch your clit.”
She was panting as she obeyed the direction. She felt his length, felt her wetness coating his length. She ran her finger over the silkiness of his dick.
“That isn’t your clit.”
She pulled her hand away and started rubbing her clit in small circles. Squeezing her eyes tightly closed, she lifted her ass, trying to take him deeper.
“No, Xandra! Take what I give you, not what you want.”
She made a frustrated sound. “You’re being mean.”
“Not even close to mean. Are you touching yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered softly and met his gaze for only a moment before he closed his eyes and pressed in slightly deeper, making her moan in response. “Oh god.”
“Better?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He withdrew only to thrust in again, drawing from deep within her the familiar rise of the vortex, and her breathing changed in response.
“That’s it; take it. Enjoy how good it feels. Look at me.”
Alexandra cried out but looked into her eyes.
“No, don’t come. I can see it in your eyes that you’re almost falling over the edge. Don’t do it! I didn’t give you permission to come yet. Ride the wave higher; force yourself to go higher. Don’t fall with it until you ask permission to come.”
Alexandra went higher, but she was losing any control he thought she had. “Please!”
“Please what, Xandra?”
“Oh God.” She could feel the pitch threatening to take her over the edge. “Please let me come, Sir!”
She squeezed her eyes closed and held her breath.
“Look at me.”
She opened her eyes and whimpered.
“Come now, Xandra. Come for me now.”
She screamed as the wave crashed through her hard. She started crying, and she wasn’t sure why she was crying. She only knew that whatever he had done to her mind, she wanted him to do it again and again. She felt him filling her as he took his release, growling. She pushed up and held his face as he came, holding his gaze. He sounded pained, which made her wonder if taking her to the edge so slowly and gently tortured him as much as it tortured her.
She fell back against the mattress, still holding on to his face. “Thank you.” Belatedly she added, “Sir,” and he chuckled as he collapsed onto her, rolling slightly to the side so she wouldn’t take his full weight.
He gathered her to him. “Are you okay, mo chroí?”
She smiled softly even though her cheeks were damp with tears. “So good. I am so good.”
He kissed her face, wiped away her tears, and slid the sleep mask back over her eyes. He lifted her and turned her, placing her head on the pillow and pulling the sheet and blanket over her. She caught his hand. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m going nowhere. I’m only going to piss before I crawl in beside you.”
“I should pee too.”
Conor uncovered her and picked her up. He carried her into the bathroom and set her on the toilet seat. She started to push the face mask up, but he stilled her hands. “You don’t need to see to piss.”
She was too tired to argue and felt her muscles release. After she relieved herself, she held out her hand and said, “Toilet paper, please.”
Conor was already a step ahead, and she felt him patting her dry.
“Oh god, that was too much. I can’t even.”
She started to press up the mask, but he again caught her wrists and said more sternly, “No! Say, ‘Thank you, Sir.’”
She shook her head. “I—”
“The only correct answer is ‘Thank you, Sir.’”
Alexandra panted, warring with every emotion, her mind screaming. I do not want to be dominated! What just happened? “Thank you, Sir.”
Conor pressed his lips to her mouth. “Thank you, Xandra, for allowing a small show of my beast. I hope I haven’t scared you or confused you too badly.”
He picked her up and carried her back to the bed and tucked her in. “We probably shouldn’t mention our D/s play to Gabe.”
“I would never share what we do together with Gabe, but that train goes both ways on the track, and you overshare way too often,” she accused softly. “I want our time to be ours alone.”
“I’m sorry, and you are correct. I will do a better job keeping our moments alone private. What we share together is too special, and I like the idea that it be ours and ours alone.”
A moment later she heard him pissing and then flushing the toilet. When she felt the mattress shift, she rolled toward him, and he gathered her close. He was wearing his briefs, and it made her smile. If he thought he could convince Gabe they hadn’t had sex because of a scrap of fabric between them…well, that was ridiculous. She giggled.
“What’s so funny?”
She snapped the waistband. “Trying to hide the fact we had sex?”
“God no, the room reeks of sex. There’s not a chance of selling that tune.”
She snuggled into him, inhaling his scent when she pressed her nose against his chest. “I love you.”
Conor tipped her chin and claimed her mouth. “You have no idea how much I love you, sweetheart. You are making me whole again. It’s been a very long time.”
“Too long?” she whispered, guessing.
“Too long,” he agreed. “I would like you to do me a favor.”
She pushed up the mask enough to look over at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze. “What’s the favor?”
“I was hoping you would say ‘anything,’” he admitted.
“Ha-ha, very funny. I’ve learned enough about your dominating nature to know better than that. So? What?”
“I want you to go with me to Cork and see a high-risk obstetrician who specializes in women who enter pregnancy with severe health issues, including bipolar disorder. I spoke with her, and she would like for you to e-mail her your complete medical history before the initial meeting so she can review it in advance.”
She stayed silent.
“I don’t want to lose you, mo chroí.”
She closed her eyes as she pulled the sleep mask down.
“I know you’re terrified of being admitted again, but I’ll be with you, and I’m certain Gabe will want to go with you. If you need me to beg, I will.”
Alexandra hugged him. “Don’t beg. I will go.”
She felt his sigh of relief but felt miserable.
♥ ♥ ♥
Gabe came into the bedroom after he settled Jonathon into his room and doled out pain pills. Conor met his gaze and patted Alexandra’s back when she stirred.
Gabe stripped, smelling the heavy perfume of sex on the air. “So, I can’t leave the two of you alone for a minute unsupervised, is that it?”
“She’s very convincing,” Conor admitted.
Gabe shook his head and chuckled. “On that we can agree.”
“Jonathon?”
“It was a tough ride home. He should have stayed in the hospital a few more days, but he was quite insistent as well. Besides, I think the nurses were more than happy to be rid of him. Jonathon always proves to be a challenging patient.”
“God, I can only imagine.”
“He took pain pills, and I tucked him into his bed. He won’t be ready for multiple bodies in a bed for a while, but for now he’s just happy to be back. She’s okay?” He nodded at Alexandra’s sleeping form.
“Sleeping soundly. I think we’ve seen the last bit of manic for now. She cried over two commercials and…after.”
“After sex? What did you do?”
Conor shrugged. “I was only saying she is extra tearful today.”
Gabe narrowed his gaze. “But you weren’t too rough?”
“Jesus, you two are ridiculous. He didn’t hurt me. He was too gentle, too tender, and it made me fucking cry. Do we have to analyze bipolar girl’s every fucking laugh or tear?” She sat up and pushed up the sleep mask. “Jonathon?”
“Sleeping, hopefully. The ride home was uncomfortable.”
She gestured him nearer. “Kiss me.”
He kissed her gently. “I’m glad to be home.”
“When can we all go home? Is the house ever going to be done?”
“It will be done before Christmas. The builder promised.”
Alexandra closed her eyes and sighed. “Come to bed?”
“Have you eaten dinner?”
Both she and Conor shook their heads. “Then I’m not coming to bed, am I? What do you want to eat?”
“Colcannon?”
“You can’t live on colcannon,” Gabe answered. “What else sounds good?”
“Bangers and mash and brown bread.”
“That I can do. So we’re giving up on pesco-vegetarian?” He smiled and kissed her again.
“Don’t get too excited. Cravings—apparently the twins are meat eaters.” She caught his hand. “And colcannon on the side?”
♥ ♥ ♥
Gabe returned along with a man Alexandra didn’t recognize, and she hid her nakedness behind Conor. Evidently the very-armed man had carried plates of food while Gabe carried beverages. After all the plates were handed out, the man left without a single word.
“You might warn me next time,” she grumbled.
“My apologies for not giving you adequate warning. I wasn’t expecting you to be naked,” Gabe commented. “Not that I’m complaining. I enjoy the view.”
“I don’t enjoy so many strangers in the halls and on the grounds.”
He undressed and climbed into the bed beside her so the three of them sat in a row, backs to the headboard and plates in their laps. “I’m going to hate returning to the real world. This is nice.”
They ate in silence, and after Conor gathered up the plates, Alexandra disappeared under the covers.
“What are you doing, love?”
Pushing back Gabe’s foreskin, she pushed her mouth over his soft dick. She heard him moan. He then said her name warningly. She laughed around his cock, because it was already growing firm inside the warm, wet cocoon of her mouth. She sucked harder, and he wrapped his hand into her hair, pulling.
“Mm-m, mm-m,” she hummed around his shaft, wanting him to stop, wanting him to let her give him pleasure. He kept pulling, and she was forced to let go and be dragged up his body. She spread her legs as she did so that when she met his gaze, his cock was snugly held between her legs. She slid her wet labia over the firm, silky skin of his penis.
“Please rest,” he begged as she moved back and forth over his length.
“Let me make you come in my mouth, and I promise I’ll go to sleep like a good little girl.”
Gabe released her hair, and his suddenly stormy gaze flew to Conor. Alexandra scrambled backward, taking his erection back into her mouth. If Gabe had been going to accuse Conor of something, the accusation fled as his glans bumped the back of her throat and her muscles closed around him like a vise. She smiled when she heard him whisper, “Fuck.”
Conor pulled the covers back and exposed her. He leaned over the mattress and licked the length of her jaw from ear to just below her mouth and then nudged her a bit to the side so he could take one of Gabe’s balls into his mouth.
She watched Gabe’s face and knew he was close.
Conor shifted and whispered in her ear, “Straddle him again but don’t take him inside, just like you were doing a moment ago.”
She wondered what he was up to.
Alexandra crawled up and over Gabe’s body, sliding her slick labia over his length. He started to lift his cock to fill her, but she said, “Not yet,” and then covered his mouth with hers in a long, wet kiss.
Alexandra felt Conor moving behind her, and she was only mildly surprised when he slid his erection into her vagina. She moaned into Gabe’s mouth and started rubbing against him, her labia teasing his dick, and her clit pressed firmly against the hard spot above the base of his penis.
The vortex was lifting her when Gabe started growling. Conor held her hips and pressed deep, moving into her hard. She started keening. Gabe said, “Don’t you dare come until we do.”
No, no, no, I can’t stop it. Alexandra tried to hold on, fought the first wave by trying to go still, but Conor was controlling her hips. Conor plowed deep and stopped, holding still, and she knew he was coming.
“Please come, Gabe,” she begged, and then it was over. She came hard, and both men knew she came hard because she cried out, not able to contain it.
Conor moved away, and Gabe rolled her over and filled her. “I told you not to come.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop it.”
“You’re an awfully bad girl.”
“I am a bad girl.” She smiled and closed her eyes. “You should punish me with that big-ass dick of yours.”