Vivian

 

Watching the brawl between Landon and Branden leaves me breathless. I’m on pins and needles watching as the man I love fights the man I hate most in this world, like a medieval morality play. Come on, Landon, I think, biting the inside of my lip. Come on!

 

When it’s over, I rush to Landon’s side as quickly as I can. My ankle is still killing me, but the adrenaline of watching Landon take Branden down has managed to numb some of the pain. It’s only when I reach Landon that I realize there’s a gaping wound in his side.

 

He’s bleeding profusely. It’s gushing out of his chest like a waterfall. Although Branden is dead, Landon doesn’t look like he’s going to make it either.

 

My heart freezes as I drop to my knees and pull Landon into my arms. The doctor is lying on the floor, motionless but still breathing, but I know that he’s my only chance. I wriggle over to the doctor and shake him by the shoulders.

 

“Hey!” I scream. “Hey! Wake up! Old man!” Shaking the doctor only makes his eyelids flutter open and closed weakly.

 

Landon’s grunting and sighing on the floor beside me. I turn back to him, pulling him close.

 

“You just gotta hang on for a little while longer,” I whisper in Landon’s ear. “And then we’ll be okay.”

 

There’s a cell phone on the floor. It must have fallen out of Branden’s pocket during the fight. I lean over to grab it, biting my lip as the pain in my ankle comes on so sharply that I want to pass out. As quickly as I can, I dial 911 and speak to an emergency operator.

 

“Where are you, miss?”

 

“I don’t know,” I say in a panicked voice. “I’ve been kidnapped! I’m somewhere in the woods.”

 

“Can you give me an exact location?” The operator’s voice is numb and antiseptic, like she doesn’t care that the love of my life is bleeding out in my arms.

 

“I just told you I don’t know!” I screech loudly.

 

My heartbeat is pounding in my ears and I keep shaking Landon to make sure that he’s still breathing. His skin is flushed and clammy and his own heart is beating slowly.

 

Stay alive, I pray silently. Please, stay alive.

 

Landon’s lips move but no sound comes out. Eagerly, I lean over and press my ear to his mouth. As our bodies move closer together, his scent washes over me and it’s so soothing that I melt a little.

 

Landon croaks something again, but I still can’t hear him.

 

“Louder!” I yell. “Landon, you have to be louder!”

 

“Five miles…” Landon croaks, trailing off. He coughs and blood spatters my cheek. “Fifty-third.”

 

“Five miles off fifty-third!” I shout into the phone. “That’s where we’re being held!”

 

The dispatcher promises that an ambulance will be on the way, but I’m too scared to be able to relax. When we hang up, the silence of the room is deafening. The only things I can hear are the sounds of my heart beating and the cracking of the blazing logs in the fireplace.

 

“Landon, please,” I whimper softly. “Please make it through this for me.”

 

Landon stirs in my arms. His eyes roll back in his head and he closes his lids. It almost reminds me of the face he made when we were making love, when we were in ecstasy.

 

The realization that I might be about to lose the only man I’ve ever loved is killing me inside, and I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks.

 

“Vivian…” Landon croaks my name. His voice is barely above a whisper but it speaks loudly to me like he’s just yelled directly into my heart.

 

When I hear the sound of sirens in the distance, it almost makes me scream with frustration. They sound so far away. I have no idea what to do. I wish I could go outside and make noise and light flares but with my ankle, there’s no way I can even move into the kitchen without passing out.

 

We just have to wait, I think. I take Landon’s giant hand in mine and squeeze gently. Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes and start to pray.

 

After what feels like an eternity, the sirens grow louder. I start shrieking, hoping the paramedics can hear me. When the kitchen door bursts open, I start screaming.

 

“In here!” I scream loudly. “We’re in here!”

 

A team of paramedics storm into the room and suddenly, I can’t take it anymore. The pain in my ankle and my fatigue and my anxiety and panic are too much. I close my eyes and pass out.

 

# # #

 

“Vivian? Hello, Vivian?”

 

“She’s waking up now. I just saw her lids flutter.”

 

“How is she?”

 

“She’s fine, aside from that ankle and some mild dehydration. We’ll keep her for a day or two for observation.”

 

Opening my eyes is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I manage to do it. Instantly, I have to close them again. I’m in a room so white that the light actually hurts.

 

“Vivian!”

 

“Don’t scare her.”

 

Weakly, I open my eyes again. My mouth is dry and tastes antiseptic. I’m lying in a white bed, in a white room with a white ceiling and a white floor. There’s equipment all around me, beeping and whirring and making noises. My head is killing me. And my ankle is in a thick white cast, hanging in traction from the ceiling.

 

“Vivian!” I turn and see Robin, standing right to the side of the bed. She grins when she sees me and there are tears in her eyes.

 

Everything comes rushing back to my brain at once. The kidnapping, the pregnancy lie, the whole Laura story, Landon, the doctor, Landon killing Alan, Landon killing Branden.

 

“Robin,” I croak. “What happened?”

 

Robin smirks and hands me a glass of water. There’s a straw poking out of the cup and tentatively, I take it in my mouth and begin to suck. The water tastes like sweet honey on my dry tongue and I cry out in pleasure as it floods my mouth.

 

“You had one hell of an adventure,” Robin says. “You and Landon both.”

 

“Landon!” My mind races to the last time I saw him–he was passed out, bleeding profusely in my lap. “Where is he? How is he?”

 

“He’s right down the hall,” Robin says. “He’ll be fine, just took a nasty wound to the gut. Thankfully, whoever stabbed him didn’t hit any vital organs.”

 

Hearing that Landon is still alive, and that he’s going to be okay, fills me with a powerful shock. It’s stronger than anything I’ve ever felt – it feels like I’ve fallen thirty feet in the air and just hit a lake at top speed.

 

“He’s gonna be fine,” Robin says quickly. She reaches forward and wipes a tear from my eye. “And so are you,” she says. “Although the doctor did say that was the worst ankle break he’s ever seen. Girl, what the hell did you do to yourself?”

 

I lick my lips nervously. “I fell in the woods,” I say. With a sigh, I lean back against the pillows. Even just this small interaction with Robin has left me exhausted.

 

“You did one hell of a job to yourself,” Robin says. She glances at me again. “The doctors want to keep you here for a couple of days. Just long enough for—“

 

The sight of my dad being wheeled through the door in a wheelchair makes me yelp.

 

“Dad!”

 

“Vivian,” Dad says heavily. He’s wheeling his own chair towards me with considerable difficulty. When I see the taped-over wounds on his chest, I start crying.

 

“Dad, what the hell happened?”

 

Dad’s lips curl in a reluctant smile. “After you left, some of the Helldogs decided to pay a little visit to the hideout.”

 

My heart sinks and I reach out for Dad’s hand, squeezing it tenderly. Robin excuses herself quietly from the room and I lean over the bed, hugging my dad until my chest is aching.

 

“Daddy, I’m so sorry,” I say softly. “I never, ever meant to disobey you and leave.” I blink back hot tears, tilting my face to the blindingly white ceiling. “I promise, I never wanted you to get hurt.”

 

“I know that, princess,” Dad says. The gentle tone of his voice makes me feel even worse. For a moment, I’m crying so hard that I can barely breathe. Dad puts his hand on mine.

 

“I’m so sorry,” I say, feeling helpless. “If it wasn’t for Landon…” I trail off nervously, suddenly unsure that I should be talking about Landon at all. “I’d be dead,” I finish softly. “He really saved me, Daddy. He was the hero of the day.”

 

My dad nods. “Sweetheart, I hate that this happened to you,” he says slowly. “But you did the right thing by leaving. I hate to think what would have happened if you’d still been in the hideout when the Helldogs arrived.”

 

I shake my head. “No,” I say. “This is all my fault. I snuck out, Dad. I’m really sorry.” I glance down, feeling ashamed.

 

Dad reaches into my lap and squeezes my hand. “Sweetheart, you’re alive. And I’m alive. And that’s all that matters.”

 

I lean back against the bed. “I can’t believe this happened. It feels so surreal–like a dream.”

 

Dad nods. “I agree,” he says slowly. He stretches in his wheelchair, and for a moment, I’m taken aback by how old he looks. It’s like he’s aged ten years in just a few days. It hits me that one day, Dad won’t always be around. The thought makes the tears come back, but Dad brushes his fingers across my cheek like he can read my mind.

 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” Dad says. “And so are you.”

 

“And Landon,” I say quietly. “He’s alive, too. Robin told me that he’s going to be fine.”

 

Dad nods. “I have to speak with him,” he says tightly. “As soon as possible.”

 

“Oh, Dad,” I cry loudly. “Please, please don’t kick him out of Blacktop Chaos. I know him…I mean, not that well…” I trail off, blushing. “But I know him enough to know that Blacktop Chaos is the most important thing in his life. And he’d die without it. And he was a hero, Dad, really. He protected me and saved me. He almost died doing it.”

 

Dad nods. A small smile spreads across his lips. While I want him to say more, I have a feeling that I won’t be hearing about the conversation with Landon until after it’s taken place.

 

Still, I hope Dad does the right thing. Landon would be crushed if he had to leave the MC permanently….Not to mention, it would make it difficult for me to date him.

 

That is, if he still wants to date me.

 

“And one more thing,” Dad says. He clears his throat and looks sternly at me. “What’s this about you being pregnant, Vivian?”

 

I shake my head quickly and laugh. “I’m not,” I say quickly. My cheeks burn bright red as I know Dad is thinking about me sleeping with Landon.

 

“Good girl,” Dad says. He squeezes my hand again. “I always knew I had a smart one.”

 

I’m so sick of crying, but something about the way he says those words makes me sob harder than I ever have in my entire life.

 

# # #

 

After Dad and I talk for a while, he wheels himself out of the room to go speak to Landon. I’m nervous. I want to go too.

 

But Robin comes back into the room, along with a nurse who has some pills for me. The nurse tells me that I need my rest. As much as I want to argue, I know that she’s right. But I’ll try to stay awake to talk to Landon, I think.

 

But after I take the pills, they hit immediately and I fall into a deep, dreamless haze.

 

When I wake up, Robin’s still sitting there with a book. “Between you, Blade, Landon, and Steel, I’m starting to think I’m never gonna leave this damned hospital,” she grumbles.

 

“Blade?” My jaw drops. “What happened to him?”

 

“Helldogs.” Robin’s face darkens to a stormy frown. “But he’ll make it through. He won’t even have any lasting damage. Landon made sure to call for help before he left to rescue you.”

 

My heart skips a beat when I realize that Landon left his injured friend in order to save me. He did it because he had to, I think quickly, not wanting to read too much into Landon’s actions.

 

“Look, Robin,” I say softly. “I have something to tell you.”

 

“What?” She cocks her head to the side.

 

I take a deep breath and then I tell her everything Branden told me–about how she used to go by Laura, and how she’d stolen over three million dollars of heroin from the Helldogs.

 

I expect her to deny everything. After all, the claims are ludicrous. So I’m shocked when she gives a slight jerk of her head.

 

“It was back when I first became a mama for Blacktop Chaos,” Robin says slowly. “They asked me to help out. I really didn’t wanna do it, you know, but I’ve always liked Blade. His club asked me to help, so I helped.” She nods, as if to say that she still stands by her decision.

 

“I’m really sorry,” I say apologetically. “I never would have done that–sold you out, I mean, under normal circumstances.”

 

Robin cracks a smile. “I know,” she says. “It’s okay, Vivian. I forgive you.”

 

This time, when the tears come, I know that I’ll probably be crying for a very long time.

 

After Robin and I have our talk, she helps me into a wheelchair and takes me down the hall to see Landon. It hurts to move from the bed to the chair, and with the giant cast around my foot and ankle, I feel as helpless as an infant. Robin skillfully maneuvers the chair down the hallway, and before I know it, she’s wheeling me through the door to Landon’s private room.

 

The thought of seeing him again makes me so nervous. I don’t know what Dad has told him. I wonder if Dad gave him the boot permanently or if he’s still a member of Blacktop Chaos. After all, Landon did save me.

 

“Vivian,” Landon croaks from the bed.

 

I can’t help but gasp. He looks terrible. His face is black and blue with bruises, and there’s still a little crust of blood on the side of his forehead. His chest is wrapped in gauze, and he’s propped up in bed with a couple of pillows.

 

Robin leans down and whispers: “I’m gonna give you two lovebirds some time alone. Just yell when you want me to come back in.”

 

And before I can protest, she’s gone.

 

Landon and I are alone together. It feels like years since the last time I’ve spoken to him without anyone listening. But now that I have the opportunity to tell him how I feel, the words won’t come.

 

My throat is stuck. It feels like I’ve swallowed a huge piece of bread and it lodged itself in my windpipe.

 

“Vivian,” Landon says again. “Come here.”

 

With great effort, I manage to roll my chair closer to the bed. Landon takes one of my hands and rubs his thumb over the veins, squeezing my fingers. His hand is reassuring and warm and despite the antiseptic smell of the hospital, I’m almost positive that a wave of leather and masculine cologne washes over me.

 

“I’m so sorry, Landon,” I say softly. “If it wasn’t for me, that never—“

 

“Don’t apologize,” Landon says gruffly. “I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”

 

He gazes deeply in my eyes. As always, his sapphire orbs leave me feeling disarmed and vulnerable. But it’s a good kind of vulnerable–not the way I was feeling back in that cabin when Branden, Alan, and the doctor were all advancing on me. Being alone with Landon again feels like I’ve entered a safe place where nothing can hurt me.

 

“No,” I say. My voice trembles and I will myself to keep it together. “No, Landon. You did everything right.”

 

“I did it too late,” Landon says flatly. “Your father, Blade…they both could have died. And you…Vivian…” He trails off, his voice thick with emotion. “When I think about losing you, it makes me want to die.”

 

My heart leaps into my throat and I blush hotly. “And why is that, Landon?”

 

“Because I love you. I love you, Vivian.”

 

“I love you, too,” I whisper. My voice breaks. When the tears come, I’m ready for them. Landon pulls me close and we embrace as tightly as we can despite the awkwardness of the hospital bed and my wheelchair.

 

Landon’s heart is pounding in his chest and all I can think with every pulse is how grateful I am that it’s beating at all.

 

“So your dad was in here,” Landon says. He clears his throat.

 

“Oh!” I sit up quickly against the back of the chair. “What did he say? He wouldn’t tell me,” I say quickly. “But I told him all about how you saved me.”

 

Landon snorts. “You exaggerated,” he says. “But it seemed to impress Steel, either way.” He nods his head slowly. “He’s actually stepping down from Blacktop Chaos. He told me that he’s getting too old. This injury won’t leave him with lasting damage, but I think Steel knows that it’s time for a change.”

 

The news comes like a blow and I stare, stunned. “But…Dad loves the MC,” I say. “I don’t even know what he’ll do without it.”

 

“Oh, he’s staying in the club,” Landon says. “He’s just stepping down as president. That’s all.”

 

I frown. “And?”

 

“Well, I’m the new president,” Landon says, tapping himself on the chest. I let out a whoop and wrap my arms around him, pulling him close and kissing him.

 

When our lips meet, I feel myself getting weak in the knees even though I’m already sitting down. Landon’s chin is stubbly from days of not having shaved and it hurts my face to be this close, but I don’t care.

 

Even the pain from him is good, I marvel to myself as our kiss deepens and grows more intimate. Landon tangles his fingers in my hair and gently pulls me closer. His tongue slides into my mouth and dances with my own as I moan softly into his mouth.

 

When we pull apart, I’m breathless and flushed. I want Landon more than anything, but I know that with my leg and his chest, sex is probably off the table for at least a few weeks.

 

“I’m so happy for you,” I say honestly. “I’m really glad Dad came to his senses.”

 

Landon nods. “Well, I was fully prepared to walk,” he says. “But it’s righteous that Steel appointed me as the new leader. It’s a great honor.”

 

Biting my lip, I frown. “What do you mean, you were prepared to walk? What does that even mean, Landon?”

 

“It means I could have found something else to do,” Landon says. “I’m not a bad mechanic, you know.”

 

“But why?” I narrow my eyes, searching his face. “Why would you give up the most important thing in the world to you?”

 

“Blacktop Chaos isn’t the most important part of my life.”

 

“What?” My jaw drops. “Landon, I—“

 

“Before I met you, maybe,” Landon says. He winks at me. “But you’re the most important part of my life, Vivian. That’s what I told your father. I told him because it’s true, but also because I want his blessing if I’m going to ask his daughter to be my old lady.”

 

I’m so shocked that I can’t move. I’m frozen in place, listening to the thud of my heart.

 

“Landon..” I trail off. “Are you…are you sure?” I glance down at myself, feeling self-conscious. “I’m just me,” I say plainly. “I’m not going to suddenly become some cool biker chick just because I’m dating you. I’m still in college, and I’m still going to be a teacher.”

 

Landon grins. “And I’m going to be proud of you, baby,” he says. “I know what I want. You’re what I want.”

 

As we kiss, I can’t imagine a more perfect ending to what has been the most exciting time of my entire life.