Lily
Every single one of the horrible things that Zed had disclosed to me was swirling around in my brain as I stalked back inside Dawning Center. I couldn’t believe he’d lied about so much. Heroin? Gangs? Murder? It was a literal nightmare—one that I couldn’t wake up from no matter how hard I tried.
“Lily, you’re late,” Anne sniped at me. “Break is only ten minutes.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “Sorry, I got some bad news.”
Anne smirked. “What? Is your convict boyfriend going back to jail?”
I could have slapped her. “No,” I said, my voice cold. “And he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Whatever you say.” Anne giggled. She turned back around and walked towards the group of kids I’d been watching when Zed showed up. “Miss Lily is back,” I heard her say to them in a singsong voice. “She has other priorities sometimes.”
Bristling, I whirled around and stomped into the bathroom. I couldn’t believe what Zed had just told me. Some of it didn’t even make sense! I sat down on the toilet with my jeans still on and hugged my knees to my chest. I was terrified and angry, and my heart was pounding a million miles a minute. I couldn’t believe Zed had done what he’d done.
Heroin? My friends hadn’t even seen what heroin looked like, much less been addicted to it or sold it. My eyes narrowed as I thought about Zed poisoning all of those addicts. What if he’d sold it to little kids? What if he’d gotten people deliberately addicted and then kept them hanging on?
It all made me want to cry. I couldn’t focus for the rest of my shift at Dawning Center. I had a singing gig that night, but I couldn’t think about that either. Anne ignored me all day, which admittedly made things easier, but the time dragged on and on. Even though I only had three hours left of my shift when Zed had shown up, they seemed to take forever. All I could think about was Zed: his lies, his deception, his brutality…
“Ugh,” I muttered under my breath. I didn’t know what to do. Should I try to leave? I thought about it; I didn’t really have any long-distance friends. Even Jackie was bound and determined to stay in Detroit forever. And if I left, there was always the possibility that someone would follow me.
If these guys were as ruthless as Zed said, I’d be in danger no matter where I went. Chills ran down my spine, and my gut went cold at the idea. I hated admitting it, but I was afraid of dying. And I was afraid of pain. And somehow, even though I was still furious with him, I was afraid of something bad happening to Zed.
I was sweeping the floor at the end of the day when Mark walked in. He walked over to me with a friendly smile and put his hand on my shoulder. Against my will, my heart started to beat a bit faster. Suddenly, I was worried that everyone around me would be in just as much danger as I was.
“Hi, Mr. Simpson,” I said quietly.
He stared at me. “Lily, are you getting sick? You don’t look as though you’re feeling very well.”
I blushed. “I’m fine, Mr. Simpson.”
“And please, call me Mark, Lily. I don’t know how many times I need to remind you of that!” Mark’s tone was one of gentle admonishing, but I felt my blush deepen. Run, I wanted to scream at him. They might be watching you, too!
“Okay, Mark,” I said, swallowing hard. I tried to smile at him, and he gazed into my eyes. For not the first time, I noted the gentle wrinkles around his light eyes. He always looked so kind and sweet; I couldn’t help but wish him happiness someday.
A long time ago, when we first met, I used to have a crush on him. Meeting Zed had helped diminish that, but now I felt like I wasn’t good enough for someone like Mark. If he ever found out about my involvement with an ex-heroin dealer, he was sure to run away. And honestly, I wouldn’t blame him. If I had children, I would only want the best people around them.
“Lily, I’m really concerned about you,” Mark said quietly. He squeezed my shoulder with his warm fingers, and I had to blink back tears. “You’ve seemed so tense and upset lately. Is everything okay at home?”
My face burned with shame. “I’m fine,” I whispered so Anne wouldn’t hear us. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Lily, you can always talk to me,” Mark added. He smiled, and I wanted to believe him, but I knew that I shouldn’t go running to him. If the Iron Angels weren’t onto him already, they would be soon. I didn’t want to lead them straight to him. If I hadn’t already done that, I thought grimly.
“I know,” I murmured. “But it’s really okay, I promise.” I forced myself to flash a big grin at him. I must have been convincing because he finally relaxed and turned away to call his kids.
After Mark left, I finished sweeping and got ready to leave for the day. It was already dark out, and I was nervous about crossing the parking lot to my car. Putting on my jacket, I scanned the lot with my eyes as best I could. I didn’t see any unfamiliar cars, but then again, Zed had grabbed me that one time and no one had even noticed. That incident had made me cautious, but now I was practically hyperventilating with fear.
I crossed the parking lot with quick, rapid steps. When I was almost to my car, headlights flicked from across the lot. An engine turned over, and I felt the blood pounding in my ears. Quickly, I ran to my car and tried to unlock the door with shaky hands. There were footsteps behind me and suddenly strong hands on my shoulders. I let out a scream with all my might and started to thrash around, kicking and waving my arms in the air.
“Lily!” Zed’s voice startled me. “Calm the fuck down!”
I stopped squirming immediately, but my heart was still pounding a million miles per minute. Angrily, I twisted back in his arms and turned my face to his.
“What do you want?” I spat out the words, glaring at him. Zed didn’t release his grip on me, and despite my anger, I felt my body reacting to his presence. There was a warm tingle in my stomach and combined with my adrenaline rush, I was suddenly feeling incredibly aroused.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, his tone urgent like it was earlier. Zed released me, and I climbed into my car, slamming the door. Instinctively, I knew that he’d be following me to my apartment. I was still angry with him and knew that I’d kick him out if he tried to stay, but I was honestly glad for the extra tidbit of protection.
The drive home from Dawning Center seemed to take much longer than usual. I was exhausted from my nerve-wracking day, and I had no idea what else Zed could possibly have to say to me. Heroin, murder, gangs? What more to criminal life was there than that?
I clutched my steering wheel with white knuckles and tried to concentrate on the road. The beams from Zed’s headlights were practically blinding me in the rearview mirror, and I squinted, already feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. When we pulled into my apartment complex, Zed squeezed his car into the minuscule space behind mine.
He followed me upstairs at a discreet pace. I was dying to grab him by the jacket and scream in his face for lying to me and for getting me involved in this, but I was too tired. Right now, I just wanted it all to be over.
“So, what did you have to tell me?” I flopped down on my couch and shaded my eyes with my hands, exhausted.
“You still need protection,” Zed said gruffly.
My hands fell into my lap, and I stared dully at Zed. “You’re not going to stay here again,” I said in a tired voice. “I won’t let you. I’ll call the police if I have to.”
Zed gave me a long look before settling down on the carpet and splaying his legs. He took up most of the free space on the floor. As usual, whenever I was in the same room, I couldn’t stop looking at his giant, hulking frame. He was as big as a tree.
“Do you understand?” My words hung sharply in the air. “I told you, you’re not staying here again.”
Zed gave me a long look. “Lily, I’m sorry about all of this,” he said in a soft voice. “It wasn’t my idea to get you involved in this. But you’re going to have to listen to me, and trust me, until this is all over.”
I felt anger boiling in my stomach. “I’m going to have to trust you?” It came out as a squeak. “What the fuck does that even mean? You’ve done nothing but lie to me this entire time! And even if you hadn’t, Zed, this is too much. I couldn’t be involved with someone who was addicted to heroin, for Chrissakes! You are an ex-felon!”
Zed looked at me dully. He didn’t say anything. The anger was swirling around in my body, and I bit my lower lip.
“Come on,” I demanded. “What else is there?”
Zed glanced at the floor. “I need to go find the bad guy,” he said slowly. “Away from here, away from you.”
I nodded. “That’s the first sensible thing you’ve ever said to me,” I blurted out. “I mean ever,” I added for emphasis, nodding.
Zed rolled his eyes. “Still got your sense of humor, I see,” he grumbled out. “So, I’m going to have to hide you someplace, with a friend of mine. He’s trustworthy.”
I frowned. That idea sounded even less appealing than Zed forcing his way back into my apartment. “I’m not sure,” I said slowly. “I don’t want to have to leave my home. Why can’t I stay with my friend Jackie?”
Zed snarled at me. “Because if the killer knows where you are, your friend Jackie isn’t going to be able to save you. Don’t you realize that, silly girl?”
I blushed. “Don’t be an ass,” I muttered. “This whole thing is freaking me out.”
Zed nodded. “As well it should. I’m glad you finally listened to me.”
“What the hell, Zed? How can you even say that? I bullied the truth out of you!”
Zed stood up and stretched, grazing the ceiling with his big knuckles. He seemed not to have heard me, or not to have cared. Looking around the room, he balled one hand into a fist and punched his other palm with it. His gaze settled on me, and I felt the same blend of anger and desire that I always felt when Zed stared at me for too long.
“Pack your things,” he finally said. “We’re getting you out of here.”