Jasmine
After I watched the van burn with Joshua and the others, I walked back inside the warehouse. Roni was still tied up and wriggling at her bonds, but Taylor lay silent. I didn’t even feel like speaking to Taylor but I knew that I had to get something off my chest. As I approached her, she closed her eyes and sighed in disgust.
"I know what you're gonna say, Jasmine," Taylor said in an obnoxious and whiny voice. "You're gonna tell me that you're disappointed in me for lying and that I should have been more loyal to you."
I shook my head. I was starting to feel better, but I was still pretty dazed. Being tied up for hours will do that to you, I guessed. I hoped that the guys had bound Taylor and Roni as tightly as she’d bound me; I wanted them to hurt just a little bit.
I squatted down and cocked my head to the side so I was staring into Taylor’s pretty eyes. Her pale, pretty face and hair were twisted with grime and grease. Even though she looked horrible, I could imagine her turning her doe-eyed look on the arresting officer and somehow winding up with much nicer accommodation than Roni.
“I need to tell you something,” I hissed under my breath. “It’s something I thought I’d never say to you. I’m not disappointed in you, you little bitch. I’m disappointed in myself for believing you.” I shook my head, feeling like a real fool. “I listened to you, and I trusted you all those times when I thought Roni wanted you out of the club.”
"We were too smart for you," Taylor said. She smiled and I reached out and slapped her hard until she was whimpering in pain. "That doesn't hurt as much as you want it to," Taylor said. She grinned at me and winked. "Don't forget, I'm the one who hurt myself," she said. A sickening feeling came over my gut and crotch like I was suddenly the one being assaulted. "I lied about everything, and it felt good," Taylor said in a quiet, soft voice. "It felt good to be so injured and to have everyone cooing over me. You have no fucking idea how amazing that felt, Jasmine."
I rolled my eyes. “Enough from you,” I said, standing up. “You’re always gonna be a psychopathic bitch, and as soon as the other women in prison realize that, I’m betting anything that you won’t survive that fun little experience.”
Taylor frowned. “I’m not going to prison,” she said. “Someone will save me. I just know it.”
I laughed. “You’re fucking delusional,” I told her. “You staged an assault, tried to blame it on an MC that had literally nothing to do with us, and then worked with Roni to murder me. You don’t think you’re gonna get convicted for at least one of those things?” I shook my head sadly. “You’ll be in prison for a long time, Taylor. And you’re never going to see Roni again. They’ll know better than to put the two of you together, where you could actually hurt someone.”
Taylor smirked. “You’re not getting anywhere near me,” she hissed. “And don’t even think about it, Jasmine.”
“I’m done with you,” I said as I wiped my grimy hands on my jeans. “I’m not speaking another word to you, even if I have to testify against you in court. I’m done, Taylor. I stuck up for you when no one else did, and I believed you because you came from another MC family. But I never should have believed a goddamn word out of your lying mouth,” I added, turning my back on her. Behind me, Taylor whimpered and cried. For a moment, the cries tugged at my heart until I was able to harden myself and keep moving.
Roni lay in a twisted pile of blood and limbs on the ground. There were guns all around her, wiped clean of the Venom Brothers fingerprints. Roni gazed up at me with disgust on her face. I shook my head.
“And you, you bitch,” I said softly, walking around her in slow, lazy circles. “You really had it out for me, didn’t you? Why the fuck would do you something like this, Roni? We used to be friends. We used to care about each other.”
Roni stared straight at me and I felt the same chill that she’d always managed to inspire in my body. “This ain’t about you, Jasmine,” Roni said slowly. “This ain’t about what you want. It’s always been about me.” She cackled. “I’ve always wanted the Wild Witches. Back when you and I first became friends, and you were so desperate to find those thugs who offed your parents, well, I thought I could probably push you into behaving one way or another.” Roni’s smile twisted into a scowl. “But that wasn’t the case. You were too damn good, too damn stuck to your goddamn morals.”
I frowned. “You pretended to love me,” I said sharply. “You pretended to love me and then you fucking tried to have me killed! You would have done anything to get rid of me!”
“That’s right,” Roni said. She wriggled on the floor so she was laying on her side. Even though her position looked painful and strained, her face was free of anguish and suffering. “That’s right, I did try to get rid of you. I thought the Wild Witches would be better off without you,” she added softly. “I always thought you were a shitty leader. Too soft on your enemies and not kind enough to the people who buttered your bread.”
I rolled my eyes. “Roni, this is too much, okay? Just cut the shit. Why did you do this?”
“Because I loved you,” Roni said. She sucked her teeth and then spat a great gob of iridescent slime on the floor. “I loved you so fucking much. But when I realized I couldn’t have you, then I didn’t care. I wanted to make you pay. I wanted to make you suffer for not loving me, and I wanted to make the Wild Witches the biggest group in LA.”
I blinked at her, suddenly feeling nervous. "Roni, you know I'm straight," I said softly. "We could never have been together, you do realize that, right? I would never have loved you the way you loved me. I like men, Roni."
Roni laughed. It was a sound that surprised me—both hollow and loud—and as her laughter bellowed across the room, I shuddered. I realized that deep down, even bound in rope, I was still afraid of the woman I’d once called my best friend.
“You’re a dumb bunny, Jasmine,” Roni said softly. “You may have killed the assholes who killed your parents, but I guess you never got around to looking into who they were working for.”
A feeling like being submerged in ice water came over my body, and I had to glance away. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Roni grinned and laughed again. “Honey, they was working with me,” Roni replied. “They was always working for me. I had to find a way to make you trust me, and helping you find those guys was so easy. I knew where they were, because I was the one who hired them, you dumb bitch.” She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “You always hated me, Jasmine. You never thought I was worth keeping around. And well, I had to do somethin’ to change your mind, didn’t I?”
My jaw dropped. Years of pain and hurt came flooding back tenfold in my body and I shuddered. “Are you kidding me?”
Roni smacked her lips. “Of course I ain’t kidding you,” she said defensively. “I had to find a way to make you need me, to make you love me as much as I loved you.” She shook her head bitterly. “I thought if I gave you what you needed, then finally you’d come around and love me back.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. I couldn’t believe it. “After all this time, you had my parents killed because you wanted me to trust you?”
Roni nodded. “I ain’t proud of that, but look how far we came, baby. Look at what we built together,” she finished, sounding triumphant. “We did all this together, Jasmine. Just you and me.”
I stepped closer. “We didn’t do shit,” I snarled in her face. “I did everything myself. And I’m gonna do everything myself again, without you.”
Then I turned on Roni and stalked out of the warehouse. As I left, a faint smile of satisfaction crept upon my face. I knew that leaving Roni like that was one of the most frustrating things I could have done; she hated not being able to get the last word in after an argument. And true to form, as soon as I turned my heel, she started screaming and hollering, doing anything to get me to turn back around and face her.
I almost wanted to spit in her face. But I couldn’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know how deeply she’d affected me.
By the time I rejoined Joshua and the others outside, I was feeling exhausted. The day had consisted of some of the biggest adrenaline rushes I’d ever felt, and I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for days. I didn’t ever want to think about Roni or Taylor or Lana ever again, but I knew that my club was in need of some serious help and restructuring.
We waited for about an hour until Derrick drove up in an old SUV. "This was the best thing I could find," he called from the driver's side window. "A friend of mine loaned it to me, so we're good to go."
Joshua helped me climb in the back seat. He hadn’t spoken directly towards me, and I had a slight feeling that he was trying to avoid me, at least while the others were around. But still, I felt a pull between our bodies, like an invisible thread that was keeping us tied together, or at least tied together for now.
What’s going to happen after today? I wondered. Am I ever going to see Joshua again? Should I leave LA and form a new MC somewhere else? Should I stay and do something else with my life?
It was all so hard to think about.
The drive back into town took more time than I was expecting. Derrick was careful not to speed, even though Joshua was riding his ass the whole time. Will and Mike had escaped without a scratch, and my hands were finally starting to feel normal again. I wondered if I’d have any permanent nerve damage from how tightly Roni had cinched my wrists. I probably deserve it, I thought woefully as Joshua pulled into the parking lot of the Wild Witches’ clubhouse. I probably deserve worse.
To my surprise, Joshua hopped out of the car and opened my door. “Guys, I’m sticking around here for a while,” he said in a smooth, calm voice. “You can head on back and do whatever, take the rest of the night off if you want.” He winked. “I think you guys deserve it.”
Derrick hopped out of the SUV, too. “I want to see Patti,” he announced. “Yeah, you guys go on back. I’ll get a ride later.”
I hated to admit it, but my hopes fell as soon as Derrick strutted inside. I figured that with him around, there was no way Joshua was going to single me out and try to talk to me.
Patti ran over from the corner of the club, hugging me first and then Derrick. While the two of them were wrapped in each other’s arms and kissing, Joshua turned to me. “I assume you wanna talk to your girls, get them caught up?”
I turned to see Patti. Derrick’s tongue was in her mouth, and she was pressing her body against his and moaning softly.
I wrinkled my nose and turned back to Joshua. “I think they’re busy,” I said sarcastically. “I’ll have to catch everyone up tomorrow.”
Joshua laughed. It sounded nice—a real laugh, none of Roni’s horrible cackling. “I bet,” he said, raising his eyebrows.
Suddenly, the air between us turned tense once more. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and glanced up into Joshua’s eyes, feeling nervous. “You don’t have to stay,” I said honestly, looking at the floor. “I mean, I know you have a ton of shit to do today, too. Is your club gonna be okay without those weapons?”
“Yeah,” Joshua said. He stretched his muscular arms over his head, making his torso stand out. I had to turn away so I wouldn’t start to blush—I couldn’t look at his delicious, muscular body without feeling painfully aroused. “We are. It’ll be rough, but this way, less competition.” He winked at me. “You’ll be able to get the Wild Witches up and running again. Don’t worry about it, Jasmine. Everything’s gonna be okay.”
I swallowed hard. “I know,” I said. Suddenly, my eyes teared up. “I know things are gonna be okay, but they don’t feel okay right now,” I said. “I made some really stupid mistakes, Joshua. What if Roni was right? What if I don’t even deserve to lead the MC?” I shook my head, feeling dazed. “She was always out to get me, right from the beginning. She always knew, Joshua. She knew that she had to pull something big to earn my trust.”
Joshua laughed out loud. “Roni wasn’t right about anything,” he said sharply. “She was a dumb cunt who thought she could beat you at your own game, and she lost. She’s going to prison, and I doubt she’s ever getting out.”
I relaxed just a little bit. It felt good to know that at least Roni would be behind bars now. Even if there was a chance of her getting out someday, that would give me some time to build the club back up in the meantime.
“Well,” I said, feeling awkward. “I know you don’t wanna hang around here, Joshua. You can go.”
Joshua frowned. He stepped closer and I immediately stepped away. I couldn’t be close to him, not now. Not ever, unless he wanted me to break down and confess that I still loved him.
“What is it?” Joshua’s voice was ragged but soft. “What’s going on?”
I felt tears welling up in my eyes and suddenly, I desperately needed to get away from everything. The other Wild Witches, Patti, Derrick, and especially Joshua. I broke into a run and darted out into the parking lot, climbing on my spare bike and shoving the key in the ignition.
“Jasmine!” I heard Joshua’s voice but my eyes were blinded with tears. “Jasmine, what are you doing? Where are you going?”
“Away,” I called as loudly as I could without letting Joshua hear the break in my voice. “I can’t be here anymore! This hurts too much, Joshua. I can’t deal with it anymore!”
“Jasmine, come back,” Joshua yelled. He ran into the parking lot and grabbed my arm in both of his hands. When he touched me, sparks jumped between our skin and I felt a warm, melty feeling come over my insides. “Please don’t go,” Joshua begged. “Not without talking to me.”
The note of kindness in his voice made the waterworks start up again from the beginning. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed until my throat was sore and my eyes were leaking all over my face. Snot was bubbling out of my nose, and I wiped it on my sleeve, wincing. I was probably a complete mess; there was no way Joshua would ever want anything to do with me, ever again.
“Jasmine, come on,” Joshua said. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. At first I resisted, but he was too strong and I felt myself caving and resting my face against his neck. He smelled incredibly good, even better than he had before in the dream. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, letting the musky, calming scent of Joshua wash over my senses.
“Joshua, I can’t stay here,” I whispered. “I have to go. I can’t keep doing this. It hurts too much.”
Joshua sighed heavily. He pulled away, slipping two fingers under my chin and turning my head up to look right into his eyes. "Jasmine, what is it?" Joshua's green eyes made me shiver. This was the closest I'd felt to another human being in years, and I couldn't believe how disarming the sensation was. It was like someone had knocked me back and I was still falling through the air, dreading my hard crash against the pavement.
I swallowed hard, trying to steel my nerves. “I’m so sorry I lied,” I said softly. A single tear rolled down my cheek and dripped off my chin. Joshua reached forward and wiped my face with his hand. “I’m sorry, Joshua. I still love you,” I said. “I never stopped loving you, but I knew that we couldn’t be together anymore.” I sighed. “It’s the kind of love where we can’t be together ever again.”
“No,” Joshua said sharply. He shook his head and for a gut-wrenching moment I thought he was going to tell me to go to hell. Instead, he stared deeply into my eyes until I felt every ounce of resistance in my body melt away. “Jasmine, I love you,” he said slowly. “I was so angry for so long, but I understand why you did the things you did. I mean, you had to,” he said slowly. “It’s hard for me to take, but I forgive you.”
I stared at him. I felt like I’d just stuck my fingers in an electrical socket and received the shock of my life. “Are you kidding me?”
“No,” Joshua said. He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me close. “I love you, and I’ll always love you, Jasmine. Nothing has changed. I’m sorry that we were apart for years, but things are better now. Everything’s okay.”
I shook my head. “It’s not okay!” I cried loudly. “It’s not okay, and it’s not going to be okay ever again!” The tears started to fall and I pushed Joshua away and wiped my face frantically. “Everything is too fucked up, Joshua. Everything is so fucked up and it’s all my fault!”
“No, it’s not,” Joshua said. “Jasmine, just try to calm down and listen—”
“No!” I practically shouted. Panic was tearing through my body and I covered my face in my hands. “No, listen, Joshua. This is my fault. It wouldn’t have happened it if it hadn’t been for me. Joshua,” I paused to take a deep breath. “Roni killed my parents. She was the one who hired the gun to do it, and then she stepped in because she wanted to lead me to the people.” I let out a shaky breath. “Joshua, this was all my fault. I was so blind before, I didn’t see the truth.” I shuddered, still not convinced that I’d managed to survive for so long. I’d never felt so stupid before.
Joshua’s jaw dropped. He pulled me close against his chest before I could argue. “Baby, it’s okay,” Joshua crooned in my ear. “That’s over now. You don’t have to worry about Roni any longer, okay? We’re all good, Jasmine.”
I shuddered in his arms. The extreme panic of the day wasn’t leaving me. I felt like I needed a drink, a fuck, and a smoke, in that exact order. I couldn’t believe that Joshua and I had just patched things up.
I swallowed hard. “What’s going to happen now?” I wrapped my arms around Joshua’s neck and pulled him close. “What are we gonna do?”
“I don’t know,” Joshua said. He nuzzled my hair and kissed the top of my head, sending delicious shivers through my whole body. “But I know that we’ll be doing it together, and that’s what counts.”
I melted into his arms. “Promise me that we’ll stay together no matter what.”
Joshua hesitated. "Leslie, I've wanted you back ever since the day you left. My life isn't complete without you. I know that you've been through a lot, but I'm going to help you work through everything until you feel better, okay? I promise I'll never leave you."
“Thank you,” I whispered softly.
Joshua tilted my head back and we kissed. When our lips met, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced. It was a kiss about life, about joy, about finding someone you’ve lost for years. I found that when I was in Joshua’s arms, all of the trauma and pain from the past just disappeared. Thinking about the past was just as scary as it had been before, but with Joshua by my side, I knew that I no longer had any reason to be afraid.