Vivian

 

As I watch TV and talk with Blade and Robin, I get a feeling that something’s seriously the matter.

 

“Blade, do you know why my dad wanted to see Landon?” Even saying Landon’s name aloud makes me blush. I don’t know what’s going on between us, but I know that my life has completely changed. I’m never going to be able to go back to the way things were before. No matter how hard I try, Landon’s always going to be burned into my brain.

 

It’s like he owns me. I have to stifle a giggle when I think back to my first conversation with Robin when I commented on her patch that labeled her as Blade’s property. I’d always thought the concept of bikers owning their girlfriends was outdated and misogynistic.

 

But when I thought about belonging to Landon–about what that would really mean–it kind of thrilled me. Not because I wanted to be owned by anyone, but because I’d fallen in love with Landon and I wanted to be his. It was like my whole mindset had changed almost overnight. Besides, I knew that if I became Landon’s old lady, he wouldn’t abuse my trust and respect. He’d treat me right. He may have been a biker, but he knew how to take care of a woman.

 

“Robin,” I say. “Can we go into the kitchen and talk?”

 

Robin nods. “Sure,” she says. “Babe, you want anything?” Turning to Blade, Robin grins. She’s so obviously happy with him. It’s almost like her eyes are full of little pink pastel hearts.

 

“Just you,” Blade says. He smirks. The two of them kiss for so long that I glance away, blushing hotly.

 

When Robin and I are in the kitchen, I grab a bottle of iced tea from the fridge. Part of me craves the tingly sensation that I’d gotten from the beer earlier, but I have a feeling that now isn’t the time.

 

“What’s up?” Robin pops her gum and leans against the counter. “Did you talk to him?”

 

My blush deepens. “Not exactly,” I admit. I pull the collar of my sweater down past my shoulder and show Robin the purple bruise of a hickey.

 

Robin’s eyes widen. “That wasn’t the first time, though,” she says. “What happened? Did he say anything?”

 

I frown and shake my head. “I haven’t brought it up again. But I feel like…well, I feel like he’s really changed. I feel like he’s really…um, I don’t know how to say it.” I glance at Robin for help.

 

“In love with you?”

 

I nod quickly. My throat feels tight at the mention of love.

 

“I mean, I don’t know for sure,” I babble. “But I really feel like something’s changing between us.”

 

Blade’s shouted curse words from the next room sends Robin running through the door. My palms turn damp with anxiety as I follow her, stumbling through the house and back into the living room.

 

“Blade, what the hell?” Robin has her hands on her hips and she’s glaring at her boyfriend. “What the fuck are you yelling about?”

 

Blade glances up at me. “I just got a call, from Steel,” he says.

 

“Oh my god,” I cry loudly. Horrible, terrible thoughts start running through my head and I sink down on the couch, feeling faint. Twisting my hands in my lap, I look at Blade. “What happened? Is everyone okay? Did something happen to Landon?”

 

Blade sighs. “Landon’s coming back,” he says, glancing at Robin. “He’ll tell you all about what happened as soon as he gets here.”

 

The way he’s not telling something is making me angry, but I don’t want to get into a shouting match with Blade. Robin sits down with me.

 

“Blade, you can tell her,” she says, in a way that makes me think she knows what the bad news is.

 

Blade shakes his head.

 

“Come on,” I snap, standing up and wiping my sweaty hands off on my jeans. “I’m not a fucking kid, okay? I’m twenty-five years old. You don’t have to treat me like I’m too fragile to hear this.”

 

Blade glares at me. It’s the most intense look he’s ever given me, and for just a moment, a shiver of fear crawls down my spine.

 

“It’s not my place to say,” he finally says in a gruff tone.

 

Just then, I hear the roar of Landon’s bike outside the house. Before Robin and Blade can stop me, I run outside and throw my arms around Landon.

 

He looks shocked to see me.

 

“What the hell happened?” I demand. “Blade just got a call from—“

 

“Vivian, I have to go,” Landon says. His face is covered in sweat. His mouth twists into an anguished grimace.

 

“Why?” I demand. Tears spring to my eyes and I rub my fists against my face furiously. “Why, Landon? What happened?”

 

“Your father knows about us,” Landon says. He shakes his head and droplets of sweat fly from his blonde hair across my face. “He knows. He told me to leave. I can’t be around you anymore, Vivian. I can’t risk something bad happening to you.”

 

My heart lurches and I collapse against Landon. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him close and kiss him deeply. It doesn’t even feel as satisfying as it normally does. It feels numb, like we’re saying goodbye.

 

Desperately, I slip my tongue between Landon’s lips and kiss him passionately. Landon’s body responds to mine and he grabs me around the waist more tightly than he’s ever held me.

 

“Vivian,” Landon says in a low voice. “I have to go. I’ll come for you when I can.”

 

At his last words, my heart leaps. “What do you mean?”

 

“I’ll come for you when this is all over,” Landon says heavily. He swallows. “I have to find a way back in, Viv. I don’t know how to do it, but I’m gonna work as hard as I can, okay?”

 

I shake my head. “No, no,” I say quickly. “No, you can’t leave. Landon, who’s going to stay here with me? Who’s going to watch me?”

 

“I don’t know, babe,” Landon says. “But I promise you’ll be safe. I’ll be out there, looking for whoever wanted to hurt you. And as soon as I take care of them, I’ll come for you, okay?”

 

I stare into his deep blue eyes, suddenly terrified that I’m never going to see him again. It feels like my whole world is crashing down around me.

 

“You can’t go,” I say. My voice is quaking and I can’t stop shaking my head. “You have to stay! It’s not fair, Landon.”

 

Landon grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me close, kissing me deeply.

 

“I know it’s not fair, babe,” Landon says when he breaks the kiss. “But I have to go. Your dad’s gonna kill me if I stay.”

 

I close my eyes, knowing that Landon isn’t exaggerating. While I’ve lived my whole twenty-five years without seeing the rougher side of my father, I know that if Landon doesn’t leave, that will all change. I don’t want to believe it, but it’s true.

 

“Please,” I whisper. “Landon, please tell me how long you’ll be gone.” I’m dying to ask more questions. I’m dying to know how Landon really feels about me. As much as I want to believe his gestures and sorry words, I won’t be truly comforted until I know that he loves me as much as I love him.

 

“Babe,” Landon whispers. “Please, I’ve gotta go. I’ll come back whenever I can, okay?” He slides his fingers under my chin and tilts my head up so that I’m looking deep into his beautiful eyes. The intensity of his gaze makes me feel weak once again, and I collapse against his muscular chest. I inhale so deeply that my lungs hurt, but I don’t care. I never want to forget what Landon Lockhart smells like.

 

“When you come back,” I whisper into Landon’s soft t-shirt. “When you come back, we have to talk about us, okay?”

 

“I swear,” Landon grunts in a low voice. “I swear to God, Vivian, when I get back, we’ll talk about our relationship.”

 

I feel numb as Landon leads me into the house. He has a terse, brief exchange with Blade before grabbing his things from the bedroom and stuffing them in the saddlebags on his bike.

 

This can’t be real, I think as I watch him. This can’t really be happening. Soon, Dad’s going to pop out from behind a corner and tell me that this whole thing is a joke. I just know he will.

 

But it’s not a joke. Dad doesn’t appear, and Landon climbs on his bike. Before he puts his helmet on, he looks at me and winks. A lump of sadness swells in my throat, and I can barely lift my fingers to wave goodbye as Landon drives away.

 

***

 

Almost immediately, things are different. Blade and Robin try to make small talk with me as we wait for my dad to arrive. I keep trying to talk about Landon but eventually, Robin holds up a hand and draws a line across her throat.

 

It makes me sick to think that my dad knows about what I’ve done with Landon, but it makes me sicker to think that he’s punishing Landon for falling in love with me. I thought the anger I’d felt towards Landon was intense, but it’s nothing compared to the rage I feel towards my dad.

 

When Dad arrives, Blade and Robin scuttle out of the hideout immediately. I try to make them stay, but Robin gives me a sharp look.

 

“You can’t go,” I hiss under my breath. “Who’s going to protect me?”

 

Robin pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back like she’s my mom. “Your dad will, Viv,” she says. “Don’t worry. You’re safe. Trust me, no one’s gonna try to hurt you with the president of Blacktop Chaos watching over you.”

 

I shake my head. “No, not from…them,” I say quickly, glancing over Robin’s shoulder at my dad. “I mean from him. My dad. He’s so angry with me!”

 

Robin shakes her head sadly. “Babe, you’ll be fine,” she says. “Steel just loves you. He wants to make sure that you don’t get hurt.”

 

I glare at her. Part of me wants to kick and scream and cry about how egregiously unfair everything is. It’s not my fault that Landon and I fell in love. But I know that would be pointless, as pointless as asking my Dad if Landon can come back.

 

When Robin and Blade leave, I ball my hands into fists, all set to approach my dad and ask him why he’s being so unreasonable.

 

“Vivian, don’t even think about it,” Dad says. He’s sitting on one of the couches, watching TV.

 

I stare at him. I’m too angry to play dumb. “Dad, why did you—“

 

“Vivian,” Dad says in a warning tone. “I told you. Leave it. Go to bed. Or go do your homework,” he adds disdainfully. “I have reason to believe you’ve been neglecting it.”

 

The way he’s trying to dismiss me makes me even angrier. I didn’t even know it was possible to be this mad at a member of my own family, but my blood is boiling and I do not feel like taking shit from my dad.

 

“Dad,” I say loudly. “Come the fuck on.”

 

My dad mutes the TV and turns to me with a serious, no-bullshit expression on his face. Normally, that alone has been enough to make me back down in the past. But I’m so fucking mad that I don’t want to hear anything he has to say…especially if it’s about my grades.

 

“Excuse me?” Dad raises an eyebrow. “Did I just hear you curse?”

 

That does it.

 

“Fuck!” I scream. “Shit! Piss! Cocksucker!”

 

My dad’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.

 

“I’m a fucking adult!” I scream loudly. “I’m twenty-five fucking years old, and you’re trying to keep me from having a boyfriend!”

 

Dad shakes his head and holds a hand up in the air like a warning signal. “Vivian Grayson,” he growls. “I want you to think very carefully about the way you’re talking to me right now.”

 

“You can’t punish me anymore!” I scream. “I’m not a little kid. You can’t ground me.”

 

Dad’s face turns red, then purple with anger. For a moment, I think about backing down. But then I remember that I’m right. I’m a legal adult, and he has no reason to treat me like a child.

 

“Vivian,” Dad says slowly. “Sit down. If you’re an adult, talk to me like an adult. Don’t scream at me like you’re still a teenager.”

 

I glare at him. I hate you, I think as I stare at his serious face. I hate you so much. But as much as I want to say the words out loud, a small part of me knows better.

 

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down as much as I can. “Dad, you can’t keep me and Landon apart,” I say. “I’m not in high school anymore. I’m not a little kid. I’m a woman, and I love Landon.”

 

Dad rolls his eyes in a way that makes my hot anger come rushing back. “Vivian, you don’t fucking know what you’re talking about,” he says in disgust. “You don’t know the first thing about Landon, do you?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm. “I love him. He loves me. We want to be together. Dad, why the hell does it matter?”

 

“It matters because I’m in charge!” Dad roars. For a moment, I feel a tiny bit of satisfaction from knowing that I got him to crack so easily. “It matters because he has to do what I say, and he broke the goddamned rules when he fucked my daughter!”

 

I blink. As tough as I know my dad is, I’ve never heard him use that kind of language around me. He’s always been careful not to curse and to treat me like a little princess.

 

“Dad, I—“

 

“No, Vivian!” Dad thunders angrily. “You don’t get to speak right now. You don’t know anything, okay? You don’t know this man! You don’t know what he’s capable of!”

 

“Like falling in love with me?” I shoot back angrily. “Of course I don’t know! You don’t let me!”

 

“Vivian, Landon’s not the right man for you,” Dad says angrily. “He’s a bad man. He’s not the kind of man I want my daughter to settle down with.”

 

By now, I’m so angry with my father that I’m seeing red. “He’s not good enough for me, but he’s good enough to take over for you?” I shout back, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring defiantly. “Explain that, Dad!”

 

“Landon was my protégé, until he disrespected me,” Dad says heavily. “He’s not good for you, Vivian. And I know that you’re an adult, but given the current situation, you have to stay here. With me. Until everything is resolved.”

 

The tears come rushing back to my eyes and I stare at the ceiling, blinking furiously. I really, really don’t want to cry in front of my father.

 

“Dad,” I growl. “Come on.”

 

“No, Vivian,” Dad says. “You don’t get to question me like this. You may be an adult, but you’re still my daughter. And until very recently, Landon was a part of my MC family.”

 

A lump forms in my throat. “You…you kicked him out?” I glare at my father. “The MC was everything to Landon. That was his life!”

 

Dad sighs. “Then he should have thought about that before he decided to act inappropriately,” he says heavily. “I didn’t want to kick him out. But he didn’t give me any choice.”

 

I sigh loudly. “You make it seem like you had to do this,” I say angrily. “But I think you wanted to, Dad. I think you wanted to make me miserable and sad.”

 

“I want you to be safe!” Dad yells, his voice rising again. “I want you to be safe, goddamnit! You’re my only child. You’re my little girl. And I’ll protect you even if it means giving my life up for you. But I won’t see you throw your life away to be with some murderous biker because you think you’re in love!”

 

My mouth goes dry. “What? What did you just say?”

 

Dad glares at me. “You heard me, Vivian,” he says quietly. “Now go to your room, and do your work. I’m too fucking tired to talk to you anymore.”