Joshua’s not a boy any longer. He’s a real man now. That was the thought that kept repeating in my head all the way back to the Wild Witches’ headquarters. I couldn’t believe how he’d changed. Where he used to be sweet and sensitive, now he was tough and firm. He growled, he groaned, he was exactly the kind of man who knew how to turn me on. But more than that, he’d lost whatever shaky, unsure quality that he’d had growing up. When we’d been kids, Joshua and I had always fought for balance of power. I usually won; I could get him to agree to anything, especially if I even had one lame reason. “Because I said so” worked on Joshua, and as a bossy little girl I more than abused my share of privilege.
But now, Joshua wasn’t like that. He didn’t give in and he didn’t back down. When I’d gone running out of his clubhouse, I could tell that he was stunned. Joshua wasn’t the type to show that though. Now, Joshua was the silent, tough type, the type that hunkered down and got shit done. I knew that he wasn’t a man to cross, that fighting with him wouldn’t get me anywhere. And yet I still felt the urge to rub him against the grain, to push him to the limit and see where it took me. Joshua was dangerous, and I needed to stay away from him, but something deep inside of me was compelled to see where this went.
My heart felt heavy when I knew that my girls would be turning the Venom Brothers MC into the cops. I knew it was against MC code, hell, it was against civilian code. Normal people didn’t snitch to the cops as a way of revenge. Even my somewhat sheltered outlook had taught me that. Normal people handled their business the way I’d fought with Roni earlier, normal people didn’t rely on threats and accusations to get them through whatever was happening to upset their lives.
Part of me didn’t want revenge, not against Joshua. I couldn’t speak for the rest of his guys, but it didn’t seem like he deserved what would be coming. He’d never done anything to me. Aside from storming into the Wild Witches’ hangout and demanding that I return with him, Joshua had been as mild as anything. And yeah, I knew that he ran guns. Hell, he’d probably killed people before. But that wasn’t my responsibility to judge; I’d seen my share of the same shit. And I did the same thing as Joshua for a career. But here I was, ready to turn him over and ruin my reputation forever. No one would trust me when they found out how readily I turned over one of my own. Hell, I’d be lucky if I made it through the rest of my life without someone carving snitch in my forehead.
No, revenge against Joshua himself didn’t seem like a good idea. Roni had seen what she’d seen, and now she was hell-bent on dragging the whole club down to her level. I didn’t like it, but I felt powerless. Even as the president, if everyone was against me, what choice did I have? It was either bend my will to the group or risk being run out of my own club. And with Roni’s temper and anger, right now I had the feeling that I wouldn’t get out alive.
That evening, I went over to the clubhouse to see Roni and the rest of the girls. Everyone seemed back to normal and pumped about ratting out the Venom Brothers. The girls kept cheering, "Down with the Brothers!" and whooping with their fists in their air. I cringed; it was like the scene from a rally, right before something went horribly wrong.
“So, you come to your senses?” Roni eyed me and took a sip of her beer. Her brown face was puffy and bruised from where I’d punched her, but she didn’t look nearly as bad as I did. One of my eyes was nearly swollen shut—I’d gasped when I’d looked in the mirror, unable to believe how Joshua could have been attracted to me.
“If you can call it that,” I said delicately. I picked up a beer and tapped the cap against the lip of the counter, then pounded it with my fist. The cap popped off, and I threw my head back and took a long, relaxing swallow. Being around Roni was tense, but I had to make it work for the sake of the club. And maybe after this whole mess was over, we’d get back to being as close as we had been before.
“I got in touch with the Russians,” Roni said with a nasty smile. “And I’ll see what I can do about turning their business over to us.”
“Really?” I grinned, despite myself. “That’s awesome.”
Roni smiled cattily. “Well, you made your point loud and clear,” she said dramatically, exhaling loudly. “If we snitch on the Thorn’s, ain’t no one gonna trust us. We’re gonna have to have us a new source of income.” She grinned like she’d come up with the idea herself. “And now, we’ll have the Russians all to ourselves.”
I bit my lip. “That’s a lot of extra service. We’re gonna have to step up our customer operations, maybe get some new girls in on probation. We don’t have the manpower to cover the grid right now, especially if we’re taking over their part of town.”
Roni shrugged. “You the boss, you’ll figure it out,” she said, winking at me. I knew that I should be feeling relieved that things were starting to smooth over, but part of me didn’t trust this new, friendly side of Roni. Even when we’d been close, she hadn’t ever been what you might call helpful. She’d always been out to get hers and that was all that mattered. Now part of me suspected that this was still the case, she was just trying to make it seem to the other girls like she’d forgiven me.
“I don’t know about taking revenge on the whole MC,” I mused aloud. “Joshua didn’t have shit to do with this, and I think you know that.”
Roni tutted. “And how do you know that?” She laughed at me and for the second time that day I felt a blush rise to my face. “I mean, he could have ordered it! He’s the president of the most corrupt MC in the city!”
I swallowed. “We’re pretty corrupt by the same standards,” I said evenly. “We run guns and we’re about to run a whole lot more of them.”
Roni put her hands on her hips, sassing me. “And you worried about this all of a sudden? Whatchu have such a conscience for?”
I couldn’t tell her the truth. No one in the Wild Witches knew about my past, only my motives for the future. Again, I was beginning to wish that I’d run far away after the death of my parents.
I walked away from Roni without answering. Something in my chest felt tight, like I wasn’t getting enough oxygen to breathe. I couldn’t think about hurting Joshua again, after all, I’d probably come close to ruining his life before. And now I was about to turn his crew over to the cops just because of something my second-in-command had seen?
Then I remembered Taylor and the painful way she'd lowered herself into a chair for weeks after the incident. I remembered her telling me that she wouldn’t be able to have children, that her hopes of having a family were ruined. I shuddered when I remembered all of the blood in the spare room, how it had soaked into the mattress and turned it into a soggy cushion. It was a miracle that Taylor was still alive. Against my will, I felt my heart hardening inside my chest. No, I had to take revenge. I had to do something. Even if it meant hurting Joshua and the rest of his men, I had to avenge Taylor’s assault.