Ryder, would you please just eat?”

I was down to pleading. I sat on a chair beside Ryder’s bed, a tray of food that he was supposed to be eating on my lap, because I was afraid he might spill it. He’d done it the past few times I’d brought food for him, and I got tired of cleaning it up. For a guy who couldn’t move, he sure could bump the shit out of a tray. He never apologized either. Just stared at me defiantly as he refused to eat.

He couldn’t eat on his own, and I knew he was pissed off about it. I’d been tasked with helping him with all his basic needs, and I knew he didn’t like it, but it was fucking frustrating that he stopped eating just because of that.

There were people that would kill for this, I thought at him angrily. But he was my patient, and I knew better than to say it out loud. He was already difficult, and I didn’t doubt that he could be even worse.

I sighed when even my pleading got nothing out of him. “Come on, Ryder,” I coaxed. “It’s actual food, not the stuff you get at the hospital. And it’s good; I’m sure you’ll love it.”

He gave me a look of disdain. “You ate before your patient, Alexis? Isn’t that hypocritical?”

I winced, but straightened my back and frowned. “I need to eat, too. And I came here beforehand, and you refused to eat.”

“So you want to sample the food then come and advertise its greatness to me,” he muttered, sarcastic.

I rolled my eyes and decided not to reply.

The idiot wouldn’t even open his mouth, so the best I could do was smear it around his mouth, and he’d just glare at me then.

“Just fucking go away already,” he muttered. “I don’t feel like eating; I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” I snapped. I didn’t mean to, but I was running out of patience. I pressed my lips together as he raised his eyebrows at me.

“Well, thanks, for assuming you know my body better than I do right now, Alexis. Seriously, just fucking leave me alone, would you? It’s annoying.”

I took a deep breath and held it in, then released it slowly as I tried to keep my temper. Even with the history between us, I couldn’t let myself forget that I was working for him at the moment. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he wouldn’t budge.

He had his arms crossed over his chest and a fierce scowl aimed at me. I might have even been afraid of it if his skin wasn’t so pale and there weren’t bags under his eyes, which were red and puffy. He looked like he either hadn't slept in days or was high on some drug or booze. In other words, he looked like shit, but I doubted pointing it out would get him to do anything about it. It would probably just be one more thing for him to get mad at, and currently, being the one person that spent the most time with him, I would bear the brunt of his irritation.

There was no way I could just walk away, though, no matter how much he tried to chase me away, and he tried every time. I was his primary caretaker, and I took my job very seriously.

“You know I can't-do that, Ryder,” I said, frowning as I clenched my hands on the edges of the tray. “Do you even know the last time you ate, Ryder? You’re supposed to be recovering, you know? If you don’t let me take care of you, then that won’t be happening.”

Ryder just sneered at me, looking unconcerned. “Isn’t that your job, nurse? You’re supposed to get me back on my feet, right? So fucking do it already. I’ll tell you this for the last time, Alexis, stop trying to baby me.”

Fuck! I sighed and slumped back into the chair. How did the fucker expect me to stop treating him like a child, when all he acted like was a child?

I wasn’t sure what it was, he wouldn’t say, but Ryder had taken to being extremely difficult since my first day working with him. It was hard putting up with his stubbornness. And if he wouldn’t even let me do my job, I’d have to tell his dad and the doctor, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate it if I did that either.

Whatever I chose in the end, I lost in some way.

“Aren’t you even just a little hungry?” I asked, voice still quiet and pleading.

Maybe…maybe I’m not the right person for this job.

I winced. I finally let myself think it. When I took on this job, I’d expected challenges, and I was prepared to meet them head-on. This, though… I was starting to think it might just be out of my league. And just like with my relationship with Ryder, I had a habit of running away from things I thought were out of my league.

Who the fuck would look after him, though?

This bastard! How the fuck was I supposed to help him if he wasn’t even going to meet me half way? At this rate, he would die. Then what was the point of living through that stupid accident?

“Can you at least drink some water?” I asked. “Or some juice or something if I brought it to you?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Can you get me a beer?”

I scowled. “Alcohol isn’t allowed, Ryder. Haven’t you had enough of that shit already?”

He sneered. “Then, no thanks.”

My hands were clenched so tight, if the tray wasn’t made of wood, I might have broken it. I just calmly put it aside and stood up.

“If you’re not going to eat, do you want to sleep? I can help you lay back down—” my hands were already reaching for him as I spoke, but I froze when he cut me off, flailing a hand in my direction and I gasped. He’d moved his hand again, but I didn’t think calling attention to it would be appreciated at that moment.

“No!” he snapped, glaring. “I can do it just fine on my own. You can leave now, Alexis.”

I didn’t though. A part of me was understanding. Ryder wasn’t the kind of guy that would take well to lying helpless in bed, unable to do anything himself. That, however, didn’t change the fact that he still needed my help, whether he liked it or not.

Still, I stood to the side and watched him, just like he’d made me watch while he sat himself up. Though that ended up being for nothing, anyway.

Once he was lying down, he turned his head away from me, and I assumed, fell asleep. That was happening a lot, too, Ryder just slipping in and out of consciousness. He was asleep more than he was awake these days and coupled with the not eating, it was a bad sign. He couldn’t get out of bed, regardless, but that he just chose to do nothing worried me.

I picked up the tray and took it back to the kitchen. What was I supposed to tell his dad? He asked about Ryder’s progress on occasion, particularly when he couldn’t make it in to check up on him himself. What if he thought I wasn’t capable and looked for someone else?

Like that would ever happen, I chided myself.

But I had to do something. I couldn’t just wait for Ryder to magically see the light and decide to co-operate. I needed help. And I knew just who to call.

I went outside through the back door because I could use the fresh air. My stomach growled at me because I hadn't actually eaten yet. I had been too anxious to when the patient himself wouldn’t, but I ignored it. I searched through my contacts for the number and placed the call.

“Hello?” came a deep, brusque voice.

“Hey, Michael,” I answered, my hand tightening around the phone, the other clutching onto my top. “This is Alexis. I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

“Oh, hey!” His voice brightened. “No, I’m free right now, just going through some paperwork. What do you need?”

I took a deep breath, and let it out in a gust. Michael was a doctor friend of mine, very different from a lot of the doctors I’d met since I got into nursing. One of the nicest, and if there were anyone I would go to help, it would be him. He was hot, too; if only he weren't a decade older than me, I might have considered dating him. Other than that, we were just somewhat friends that spoke and met on occasion.

Though, now that I was out of the hospital, we’d probably meet a lot less.

“I’ve been having a bit of trouble,” I admitted. “And I was wondering if you could help me.”

He hummed. “Whatever you’d like, Alexis. Is it about a patient? I heard you left the hospital, though…”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, he’d heard. Noir, the bitch, probably circled it around to warn the other nurses into conforming to her rules. Or to scare them, I could never tell with her.

“I’m serving as a private nurse at the moment. This patient is…difficult. Like, extremely. I don’t know what to do for him anymore, and I don’t want to quit, but he’s not even eating, and he sleeps all the time…”

“Whoa, slow down,” Michael said, his tone turning serious. “I can barely understand what you’re saying, Alexis.”

I took another deep breath, and slowly explained everything. Well, not everything; I didn’t tell him who Ryder was or our relationship. But I mentioned the accident, his surgeries, being moved home and how his recovery was going.

“To be honest, I don’t think he even will recover! I can't tell if he wants to or not. He doesn’t eat; he tries moving on his own, but something is blocking him. Sometimes his hand moves or he moves a leg, but it’s like he does it unconsciously, so when he tries to do it, it doesn’t happen and he just gives up. He's so difficult, and it’s like I can see him wasting away because he’s not even trying to recover!”

I was breathing hard by the time I stopped ranting. My free hand was clenched so tightly; my nails dug into my palm. I calmed down as Michael stayed silent on the other end of the line. When my breathing was steadied again, he spoke.

“There’s not much I can do to help you, to be honest,” he said honestly.

My shoulders slumped, head falling forward as my eyes slid closed. “So, is there anything that I can do? I’ll take anything at this point, Michael.”

“Well,” he started slowly. “The only thing you can do is wait. You can't force him, after all. If things get bad, though, you’ll want to bring his doctor in. If he doesn't eat or drink anything, they’ll probably put him on an IV with all the nutrients his body isn’t getting. If he wants to recover, though, he’s going to need to want to do it. There’ll probably be physiotherapy at some point, and that is always a bitch.”

I wrinkled my nose. I’d heard stories from other nurses about patients going through physiotherapy. It could be good, or it could be bad. With Ryder, he’d likely be an even worse patient than he was already.

“Maybe… I’m not cut out for this,” I mused.

“Don’t think that way, Alexis,” Michael said, soft voice chiding. “You can't let what’s happened so far get to you. I know it’s not easy, but when the guy gets his head out of his ass, he’ll probably thank you for it. Stick around, don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to be a little forceful; you don’t need to baby him, just be firm.”

I smiled, a little tired, but with some spark of hope. I could have laughed because he said ‘don’t baby him,’ when Ryder himself had requested it not that long ago. But mostly, I was just so fucking relieved to get some piece of advice on this. Even if it didn’t pan out, though I had a feeling it would, Michael at least gave me the push I needed to not back down this time.

“Thanks for the speech, Michael. I think I know what to do now.”