I sat back on the couch, not even bothering to look anymore, just staring off into space. The place was still loud, though, with all the drinks I’d had, it was a lot less irritating. Even Craig, laughing like an idiot and nudging against me, trying to get me to join in, didn’t annoy me anymore.

“Dude, Ryder! You’ve got to fucking listen to this,” he said in between snickers. “So, this guy met this chick and asked her to go out with him, right? Then…”

I just hummed and nodded along, even though I stopped listening the moment I guessed where the statement was going, Craig had a fucking weird sense of humor. He’d talk about the goth chick that thought she was a witch and tried to use her ‘powers’ on whatever poor bastard was dating her and ignore the story about the cheerleader that lost her footing on killer heels and landed on her ass. I knew which I’d find more embarrassing to witness, but I didn’t find either funny.

Why am I still even here? I grumbled to myself. I raised my bottle to my lips, swaying a little, but it was just as well because there was nothing to spill. I groaned at the empty bottle and put it on the table where we’d left the rest.

“Hey, man. You want more, or are you good?”

I wasn’t sure whether or not to be grateful to Craig for being so observant. But of all things for him to notice, it had to be that I didn’t have a beer in my hands for longer than a few moments. I frowned at the other bottles he’d handed me, and I’d finished already. I shouldn’t have had any of them.

“Nah,” I answered after a moment. “I think I’m done with the drinking for now.”

He nodded. “Sure, bro. just tell me when you need something, yeah?”

I waved him off. I wasn’t about to take another drink. The only reason I wasn’t leaving immediately, was because I’d had too much to drink already, and I would already have to start over on the clean and sober journey. I hadn't seen Alexis in all the time I’d waited, and I was pretty sure it had been over an hour already. I’d arrived late myself, so I didn’t think she’d still show up as late as it had gotten.

Fuck it, I thought to myself, even though it did bother me. I’ll look for her at the hospital after this.

At that point, I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be showing up for the party.

I was tempted to go for that next drink after all, but I happened to glance up in the way of the entrance. There weren’t as many people crowding, as most of them had migrated upstairs or to the backyard. Someone new had walked in, and my eyes fell on them for a moment before I looked away. Only for me to do a double take that nearly left me dizzy.

“Alexis,” I breathed out.

How long had it been since I’d seen her? She looked just as beautiful as I remembered, in a little black dress, a short jacket on her shoulders and heels, her dark hair left to drape messily over her shoulders.

If ever there was a woman I loved or came close to, it was Alexis. Seeing her so suddenly was bringing back all my emotions from back then, before Prom. Things hadn’t started well with us, I’d only dated her because…well, I had a reputation, so my reasons were not very good. But, after a couple of dates, I’d actually started to fall for her, and I’d thought we were good together. Then she’d done her disappearing act and…

My body moved on its own. I didn’t realize when I stood up or when I started walking. But I did notice when the space between us got smaller. I noticed how she didn’t move from the entrance, still looking around with a slight frown on her face.

Is she…looking for me? I thought hopefully, my heart jumping a beat.

When her eyes fell on me, they widened. I noted her surprise, but was too busy getting lost in her familiar brown eyes. My body trembled. I tried to smile and felt my lips shake around the edges.

“Alexis,” I said again, louder, dazed. “You’re here.”

“Ryder,” she whispered, and my body shivered at the way she said my name. “You’re here,” she added with a smile.

It was as shaky around the edges like mine, but a bit different. I frowned a little, thinking she looked almost uneasy, before dismissing it.

Why would she be uneasy?

“I was hoping you’d come,” I admitted without thinking, then frowned slightly again, before deciding it was fine. Nothing else mattered; Alexis was here. “You’re late.”

She blinked, then snorted a short laugh. “Um, yes. I am late. My friends kinda badgered me into coming tonight, I just wanted to stay home…”

I barely heard her words, my eyes trained on her mouth. Her smile had stabilized, but it wasn’t just that. I was suddenly hit with the urge to just duck my head and kiss her. I couldn’t just do that out of the blue, though.

My body again moved without consulting my mind. I reached and took her hand in mine. She jumped, it was light enough that I couldn’t see, but I did feel her hand jerk just slightly in mine. I noticed it, but in my current state, I hardly cared.

“We should talk,” I murmured, swaying closer to her. “We didn’t get to do that before, you know? Not a lot, anyway, near the end, there. I always regretted we never got to talk.”

She just stood there, very still, wide eyes trained on mine as I spoke. When I paused, she took in a sharp breath, her face twisting into something that might have been pain, but it was gone before I could read it, and I wondered if I just projected my pain onto her. She smiled tightly at me.

“Ryder, we’ve barely seen each other in years. I’m sure you have…someone else right now, so there’s no need—”

“There’s no one,” I said immediately, cutting her off as I swayed closer again. “I swear to you, Alexis, I’m not seeing anyone right now. I…came here tonight because I hoped I would see you.”

She jumped again, her hand slightly jerking in my hold, though I only tightened it. There was hesitance on her face, but I could stand to be patient now that I had her in front of me. My heart still beat fast, though instead of the anxiety from before, I felt warm. More than anything, I was glad to see Alexis.

“R-really?” she stuttered, voice small.

I nodded and felt a little dizzy for it. “Definitely,” I said with determination. “Alexis, please. We do need to talk. My car is outside. Just come with me for a bit.”

I should take her to my place; I was thinking, making plans. Then we’d have all the time to talk that we want.

A part of my mind remembered Craig, and that I was his ride. But I dismissed the thought almost immediately. If he were going home at all, it wouldn’t be alone, and I wasn’t going to drive him and whatever woman he chose to spend the night with all the way back to his place.

There was a frown on Alexis’s face, maybe because I was still swaying slightly from that nod, and not because I was trying to get closer to her.

“Ryder, I…”

Even before she finished, my heart dropped, because I knew it would be a rejection just by her tone and expression.

“I…don’t think we should be doing this. Not today. And anyway, you’re drunk,” she added quickly when I went to protest. “You can't drive in that condition, you know! Just go back to your friends and I’ll go find mine?”

No! Instinctively, my hand tightened around Alexis’s. She was here now; I couldn’t just let her leave! So I lied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said with a carefree laugh, straightening my back and widening my eyes a little because my lids were drooping. “I only had a couple of beers; I swear it will be fine. Just, please, Alexis. I need to talk to you, and I don’t want to wait for you to disappear again.”

That seemed to surprise her again. I didn’t care; at least she wasn’t still trying to get away from me.

We're going to talk. I don't give a fuck about anything else at the moment, just telling Alexis. I’m going to tell Alexis how I feel.

At least, that was the plan. Though, just thinking about it, my heart was once again beating fast with excitement.