---

I couldn’t sleep last night. Of course I couldn’t. The video of Josie Carpenter’s photo disappearing from Alison’s phone was far too convenient, and she was insistent that it must have been Dominic who got rid of it.

‘Does he know your passcode?’ I had asked, expecting her to say yes. It made sense that someone so controlling would have access to his partner’s phone, but Alison’s answer had surprised me.

‘Not that I know of – I’ve never given it to him. If I had then there’s no way I would have kept that photo on there. No way. I would have transferred it somewhere safe. But I suppose he could have seen me typing it in and memorised it.’

‘And when was the last time you looked at the video, or noticed it on there?’ I had tried to catch her out, to find out if she could be trusted, but nothing she said has helped me decide either way.

‘When I showed it to you,’ was her reply. ‘But that was only a couple of days ago. How could it have disappeared in that time?’

I’d told her to check properly and she spent some time doing this, but by the end of it there was still no video of the photo of Josie on the computer, and Alison was still insisting she had no clue how it could have happened.

‘I know how this looks,’ she’d said. ‘But you saw it, didn’t you? You know it was on my phone.’

‘Yes, I saw it, Alison, but now we’ve got nothing to take to the police. We can’t go in there and start accusing Dominic of anything without even that flimsy evidence, can we?’

She’s done this on purpose, I’m sure of it. But why wouldn’t she want to go to the police? Why show me the photo if she wasn’t going to use it to get Dominic arrested? To lure me in. To make me believe her. She wants to be in this house with me, it’s been her plan all along.

This terrifies me, but there’s too much at stake here so I can’t give in to my fear. Alison’s here for a reason, and I need to know what that is.

It’s only 5.30 a.m. but I get up to have a shower; I need to mentally prepare myself for the coming days and I want to be ready before Alison wakes up. But once I’m dressed and go downstairs, she’s already there, sitting on the sofa. She’s so busy looking at something on her phone that she doesn’t hear me until I speak.

‘Morning, Alison.’

She starts and almost drops her phone. ‘Hi! I didn’t hear you. Sorry, I was just… Dominic’s been texting me since last night. Checking up on me. He’s due back this afternoon… What’s going to happen when he notices I’ve left?’

I cross to the sofa and sit beside her. ‘You’ve got to stop worrying, Alison. Everything will be okay. We’ll have breakfast and then go to the police together, okay? He won’t be able to hurt you then.’

She visibly stiffens, and I find myself wondering if I’ve got this all wrong. But surely she wouldn’t be able to fake her fear, her injuries? Unless there’s another reason why she’s scared and it involves talking to the police.

‘I’ve already had a coffee and I don’t think I can stomach any food right now,’ Alison says. ‘I hope you don’t mind me helping myself, but it was so early I didn’t want to wake you. ’

I can’t force her to eat; she’s a grown woman who, despite how she comes across, is surprisingly wilful. ‘Well, it’s still quite early. We can get something afterwards. I’m sure you’ll feel a bit better then… Once you’ve made your statement.’

She nods and the screen of her phone lights up.

‘Is that Dominic?’

‘Yeah,’ she says, as she scans the message. ‘He says he’ll be back at two o’clock and he’d better have heard from me by then.’

Hearing this makes my skin crawl. Even if there’s a chance Dominic isn’t one of them, there are men out there who treat women this way. Women they claim to love. ‘You’ll get through this,’ I tell her.

‘Thanks, Mia. I really don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m sorry about the way we met, but I’m glad we have.’

But I don’t feel the same way. She’s opened up wounds I thought had finally healed and thrown my life into silent, suffocating turmoil. Instead, I say, ‘I’ll just get my jacket and then we can go.’

It’s less than two minutes before I’m ready but in that time something has changed. Alison is pacing the living room, her arms folded against her chest. I can see she’s having second thoughts.

‘Mia… I’ve been thinking,’ she says, still pacing the room. ‘And I think I should go to the police station on my own.’

Although I half-expected this, I’m disappointed. Everything she’s doing or saying has me questioning her honesty. But she’s still a client – in some twisted way – so I will treat her as one.

‘Are you sure? I’d really like to come with you. For support. You might find you need it once you’re there and faced with sharing such personal things. Don’t you think it would help you for me to be there with you?’

She shakes her head. ‘I know it probably would help – I’ve thought about how difficult it’s going to be – but I think it’s better this way. I just… I’ll be fine.’

There’s nothing I can do but go along with her choice, but she’s wrong if she thinks I can be fooled. There is too much at stake here. ‘Okay, if you’re sure. But call me if you change your mind.’

She looks relieved. Perhaps she expected more insistence from me. ‘Thank you, Mia. Again. Will you be here when I get back?’

‘Of course. I’ll wait in for you. I know you don’t have a key so don’t worry.’ And there’s no way she will get one either. Letting her into my home when I’m here is about all I’m willing to risk.

At the front door she gives me a hug and my body tenses. She must notice it as she quickly steps back.

I close the door behind her then rush to the window. The police station is only a five-minute walk from here and she’s heading in the right direction, through the park. But that’s not enough to convince me she’s actually going.

I’m still wearing my jacket and I check I’ve got my keys then rush outside. I can see her ahead of me, but I keep a far enough distance from her, just in case she turns around. It’s possible she’d still notice me, but I have an excuse ready: I will tell her I need to give her Will’s number just in case she can’t get hold of me for any reason.

But by the time we are almost at the police station, she hasn’t turned around once. She hasn’t even stopped to pull her phone out of her bag or to look in any of the shops we pass.

And when she turns into the police station, I admit, once again, that I really don’t know what to make of her. Truthful or deceitful? My mind flits between both of these and can’t seem to settle on either.

Outside the building, Alison stops and lets a man walk in before her, but then she pushes straight through the doors and disappears inside.

I don’t have a plan for how long I’ll stay there, watching just to make sure she doesn’t come out again within minutes, but after half an hour she still hasn’t emerged.

I call Freya and her excited chatter distracts me from my surveillance, even though I keep my eyes on the doors. ‘Can Megan come and stay here with me, Mum?’

‘I don’t think so, sweetheart. I think Grandma and Grandad just want to enjoy some time with you.’

‘Oh. Okay.’

‘But we can arrange for Megan to come and stay the night with us when you get back. How does that sound?’

She yelps down the phone and my heart swells. Everything I’ve had to go through, and will go through from now on, is worth it to hear and see my daughter happy.

When I’ve finished talking to Freya, I dial Will’s number and deal with his disappointment that I didn’t ask him to come for dinner last night. ‘I’m so sorry but I just don’t think she was up to it. This is a big deal for her – she’s never had the strength to walk away from him before. I just think last night would have been too soon.’

‘I do get that, Mia. I just hope you’re not getting into something risky. But anyway, you already know how I feel about it and, well, I don’t want to put pressure on you.’

I stare across at the police station, at the doors that seem to swallow people up. ‘If it makes you feel better, we’re at the police station right now. Alison’s in there making a statement.’

‘That’s good. That’s great. She’s doing the right thing.’ I can hear the tension leave Will’s voice. ‘So, I know she wasn’t up to it yesterday, but how about I come over for dinner tonight? We can get a takeaway to save you cooking for a change.’ Although his tone is casual I know how much he wants me to say yes. Will can’t help being a protector, but he needs to know I don’t need protecting.

I give in, even though I’m not sure what Alison’s reaction will be. ‘Okay, yes. That sounds like a good idea. I want you to meet her.’ Even though Will doesn’t know the full story, it will be good to get his opinion on Alison. My judgement is so clouded by Zach’s death that I can’t fully trust it, when normally I rely on instinct.

Will tells me he’ll see me at seven then adds that he loves me before saying goodbye.

It’s been almost an hour now since Alison went inside, so I decide to make my way home. For now, at least, it appears that she’s telling the truth, but I know better than to put my complete trust in her.

---

I make the introductions but I can already sense that neither Will nor Alison feel comfortable in the other’s presence. They are both polite enough, but Will is on edge, dropping Alison’s hand almost before he’s finished shaking it. I’m not used to seeing him like this.

I can understand his discomfort: he doesn’t think Alison should be here, doesn’t think I’m safe now I’ve let a stranger into my home. But Alison has no reason to be wary of Will.

‘So, Alison, what do you do, then?’ he asks, seconds after we’ve all sat down. The tone of his question makes me cringe, the accusation easy to detect – this really isn’t like Will.

In spite of this, Alison doesn’t appear to notice, or mind. ‘Mostly admin work. But, well, I’m taking a break at the moment. To sort some things out.’ She glances at me before turning back to Will.

Before he got here this evening, there were some things I had to get straight with Alison. I told her Will doesn’t know everything she’s told me, only that she used to know Zach and that she’s staying here to get away from her partner.

‘Why didn’t you tell him?’ she had asked, the stare she fixed on me accusing and judgemental. ‘He’s your partner, isn’t he? Doesn’t that mean you shouldn’t keep secrets from him?’

‘No, it means I need to do whatever I can to keep him from getting hurt. Will knows what he needs to know.’

‘Okay, I’m sorry,’ she’d said. ‘I didn’t mean to sound… I just wondered why.’

I had no choice but to be direct with her, despite how she might perceive it. ‘Alison, that really isn’t your business. All I’m trying to do is help you, and that doesn’t mean you can question other parts of my life.’

‘But you also want to know what happened with Zach, don’t you? That’s partly why I’m here, isn’t it?’

‘No. I know all I need to know. And there’s no photo any more, Alison, so we both have to let this go.’

‘Well, I’m not giving up on the truth,’ she’d said. ‘It always comes out in the end. I want Dominic to pay for what he’s done. Not just to me but to Josie too.’

In the end, although she hadn’t exactly agreed to keep things to herself, I have a feeling she won’t say anything to Will. She needs my help so why would she do anything to jeopardise that? But one thing I’m learning is that Alison is unpredictable. She barely said a word when she came home from the police station, and gave me no details other than to say that they took her statement and were planning to question Dominic that night. I put her reticence down to being a bit shaken up by the experience, but now, watching her with Will, I see she has made a quick recovery.

Things don’t get any better over dinner. Will bombards Alison with a stream of questions, and even my gentle kick under the table does nothing to stem the tide.

As soon as he gets up to go to the bathroom Alison turns to me, her voice a whisper. ‘He doesn’t like me, does he? Why? What have I done?’

I consider my answer carefully. ‘It’s not that Will doesn’t like you, he’s just a bit worried about this whole situation, that’s all.’

‘And by “this situation” you mean me staying here with you?’

‘It just took him by surprise. He’s used to me helping people whenever I can, but this is something quite different. It’s not what you’d consider a normal scenario.’

Her eyes drop to the table. ‘None of this is normal, is it? I mean, the whole thing with Dominic. How many people suspect their partners of this kind of thing?’

Alison seems to have forgotten to whom she’s speaking. This is exactly what I’ve had to deal with, although Zach was already dead by the time he was labelled a murderer.

‘Look, Mia, maybe Will would understand more if you told him everything?’ she says. ‘Maybe he could even help us.’

Everything I say to this woman seems to fall on deaf ears. I’ve already told her I’m trying to protect Will by keeping him out of this, so I don’t know why she’s pushing me to tell him.

‘Alison, I can tell you right now what Will’s words will be if I tell him everything. He’ll say that you were in the flat that night and that you didn’t tell the police. He’ll force me to tell them and I know that’s not what you want. He’ll say I should be worried about this.’ And the truth is, this is something I need to think about: Alison was there. She could very well have had something to do with it.

She stares at me, her eyes wide. ‘But I had nothing to do with it. I wouldn’t have come to you otherwise, would I? Surely he’d see that?’

I hear Will washing his hands in the downstairs toilet. ‘We’ll talk about this later, okay? Right now let’s just focus on you. You’ve been to the police today so that’s great. Next, we need to try and find you a new place to live.’

Alison stares at her plate, the timid girl again. All evidence of the defiant person she was just moments ago has gone. ‘I haven’t thought that far ahead, but I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. He’ll never let me stay in the house, even though we both pay the mortgage. He put more money into it to begin with so I don’t stand a chance.’

‘I know it’s scary but you can do this. I’ll help you as much as I can. A fresh start will be good for you, Alison.’ But as I say this I wonder if this is all it will take. She seems to have issues that go far beyond Dominic’s abuse – I just need to get to them. And when I do, I will know exactly what happened that night at that flat.

When Will comes back in, Alison clams up. ‘I might have an early night, if you don’t mind, Mia. It’s been a long day in so many ways.’ She glances at Will. ‘I’m sure you’d both like some time together, too, so I’ll get out of your way.’

‘You don’t have to do that,’ Will says, but his tone is still harsh.

Alison’s eyes widen. ‘Oh, no, that’s fine. Thank you for the lovely food, Mia.’ But she has barely touched hers.

---

Later in bed, I confront Will about his animosity towards Alison. I keep my voice low and speak right into his ear; she’s only in the room next door and I can’t risk her overhearing us.

‘I don’t like her,’ Will says. ‘There’s something about her that isn’t quite right – I noticed it straight away.’

‘I know what you mean, but how should we expect her to be after what she’s been through? She probably distrusts men now so it’s not surprising she was a bit off with you.’ Except she trusts Zach implicitly, even though she has no real evidence to suggest he wasn’t guilty of anything.

Will turns to face me. ‘No, it’s more than that. But I do respect that you’re helping her. In fact, I admire you for it. You’re a better person than I am, Mia, because I certainly wouldn’t let her stay in my house.’

‘I’m not a better person than you. Perhaps I’ve just been tested more.’ And if I was such a good person then wouldn’t I immediately believe in Zach’s innocence? I’ve wanted to over the years, but something within me wouldn’t allow it.

‘Just tell me it’s only for a few days,’ Will says.

‘It will be. But however strange she can be, she needs a break in life.’

He doesn’t say anything, and I try to distract him by pulling him towards me, my hands wandering across his body, even though it is hard to switch off from everything. But a few minutes later, when Will is lost in the moment, and I’m trying to shut out destructive thoughts, I hear a noise at the bedroom door. I strain to see into the darkness, but I can just make out the shape of someone standing there before they disappear.

Alison.

How long has she been watching us?