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Hearing Alison’s denial, there is no doubt in my mind what I have to do now. She is not going to give me any answers, so I have to accept that I’ll never know exactly what happened that night.

‘I could do with some water,’ I say, trying to make my voice sound hoarse, although I know she won’t believe me. She can’t possibly think that I will let her get away with what she’s done.

But as usual, she is full of surprises. ‘Fine,’ she says. ‘I’ll be right back.’

I’m stunned that she’s leaving me in the room alone when she knows I must have my mobile on me, but perhaps this is an oversight. What I’m sure of now, though, is that the front door is locked, and there is no way for me to get out. That’s the only thing that would explain her confidence.

But I still don’t know what she wants from me.

Keeping my eye on the living-room door, I quickly pull out my phone and dial Will’s number, hoping he’ll answer and that it won’t go to his voicemail. When he picks up, his voice is thick with tiredness and without a word I toggle down the volume and slip the phone back in my pocket, still connected, and shout out to Alison.

‘I’m here,’ she says, appearing in the doorway with a glass of water. She puts it on the carpet by my feet, but she must know there is no way I will touch a single drop.

‘What am I doing here, Alison? You’re claiming you didn’t harm Josie, so what do you want from me?’

She joins me on the sofa. ‘Well, it’s like I said before: I wanted you to know the truth about Zach. That he didn’t sleep with Josie. It’s important to me that you know that.’

Alison’s psychosis must run deeper than I imagined; her words are a huge contradiction to what she said earlier about not being able to know. But of course she has an answer when I question her about this.

‘I said I wasn’t in the room with them, so I have no real evidence, but like I told you before, I spoke to Zach and I believe every word he said. Every single word. He really loved you. And Freya. You must have been his whole world.’ She begins biting her nails.

But we weren’t, were we? I tell Alison that nothing she is saying makes sense, but she doesn’t reply. I need to tread carefully; I don’t want her to clam up now.

‘Tell me this, at least: why did you need me to know all this?’

‘Because I want justice for Josie.’

And now it’s all becoming clearer. Somehow, in her deranged mind, and despite what she’s saying, Alison must think Zach killed Josie. Just like everyone else. Her claim that Dominic was involved must have just been to get me to listen; she wouldn’t have known whether or not I thought Zach was guilty. It’s possible she’s blocked out any memory of what she herself did, and is now focusing it on Zach. With him dead, I’m the one who must take the blame for what happened to Josie.

I need to keep her talking so Will has long enough to call the police. He will have heard our conversation and I hope it’s enough for him to realise something is very wrong. And once he’s called them, they should be able to find our location from my mobile phone – at least, I hope so. It is too risky to mention the address now with Alison in the room with me. As much as it hurts me to do this, I need to go along with whatever she already believes.

‘You know, I’ve blamed myself all these years, Alison. For all of it. What happened to Zach and what happened to Josie.’

‘Is that right?’

I look her directly in the eye: it’s the best way to convince someone you are telling the truth. ‘Yes. The truth is, if I’d been a better wife then maybe none of it would have happened. He wouldn’t have had space in his life for Josie. Whether or not anything physical happened between them, there’s no disputing he had feelings for her. And that’s what I blame myself for.’

Alison stares at me. ‘Well, this is interesting. Carry on.’

My heart pounds heavily in my chest. ‘I probably expected too much from him. From our life. I always strove for perfection but that must have been exhausting for him. I mean, I know it was. He said as much. Not in a nasty way, but still. It was there between us.’

With the words catching in my throat, I tell Alison how I pushed Zach to have a baby when he probably wasn’t quite ready. ‘He was trying to write his novel and I just thought he’d be able to do it easily, even with a newborn in the house. It never occurred to me that he’d struggle, because I didn’t. I just got on with it.’

Alison utters a contemptuous laugh. ‘Well, of course Little Miss Perfect can cope with anything.’

‘No, you’ve got me wrong. I don’t think I’m perfect. Clearly I’m not. Because I lost my husband, my little girl’s father. She was only two at the time, Alison.’

She nods, and just for a second it’s easy to forget the situation we’re in. We could just be two friends discussing my grief. ‘Poor thing. That must have been hard for you, but I’m sure you coped. You always do, don’t you?’

It’s becoming clear that Alison’s not going to make this easy for me. She’s determined to force the blame on someone, even if the pieces of the jigsaw don’t fit. Could never fit.

‘I just did the best I could in a bad situation. That’s what I always try to do, Alison.’

‘Well, it’s not always that easy for other people, Mia. We’re not all as perfect as you. I’m not. Josie certainly wasn’t.’

I ignore her jibe. ‘Why do you want justice for Josie? You hated the girl. Why have you spent five years obsessing over this?’ Nothing I’m saying is what any counsellor should say, but we’re beyond that now.

‘Ha! Obsession? Is that what you think this is? Well, if that’s what you want to label it then it doesn’t matter. But this is not about obsession, Mia. Like I said, this is about putting things right. I spent so much time hating her when I should have been there for her. She wasn’t a bad person, and I should have taken the time to get to know her. Well, I left it too late then, but now she’s gone I have to try and make amends.’

Make amends for killing her. Anxiety is overwhelming me now. The longer I sit here, the more I know Alison’s not going to let me leave this flat in anything but a body bag. I can only pray that Will has heard every word and called the police. But time seems to have slowed down, and it’s an effort to keep her talking. She will see through me soon enough, I’m sure.

‘Alison, you said earlier you didn’t think there was anything going on between them, so what do you think he was doing in the flat that night? It was late, wasn’t it? Way past ten o’clock.’ I need to catch her out, get her to say something that will incriminate her.

‘Everyone thinks she must have been blackmailing him. Threatening to report their affair and tell you about it. Zach’s family and his job were both important to him, weren’t they, Mia? Important enough that he’d do anything to protect those things.’

This is exactly how the media reported it. That Zach must have carefully planned to kill Josie, initially with the drugs he used on himself, but somehow that didn’t work and so he stabbed her instead, and hid her body somewhere. Afterwards he panicked and took his own life with the poison he’d intended to use on her.

‘Where do you think her body is, Alison? What would Zach have done with it?’

‘I have no idea, Mia. And I don’t know why he came back here afterwards to end his own life. Maybe he came back to clean things up but then it all got too much for him. Because he wasn’t an evil man, was he, Mia? Despite it all.’

There are tears in my eyes now but I force them back.

But not before Alison notices. ‘Who are those tears for, Mia? For Zach? For Josie? For yourself?’

‘For all of us, Alison. Because it was all just a terrible mess. But you don’t need to keep living like this, you can be free of it all.’

‘Free of what? And what am I living like?’

‘Out for revenge – on me, because Zach’s not here for you to take things out on. Five years is a long time to have lived your life for this… cause.’

‘Are you trying to counsel me, Mia? I think it’s a bit too late for that so maybe you should save your breath.’ She stands up and leans over me. ‘Actually, before you shut up you can—’

A loud crash silences us both and it takes me a moment to realise it’s the front door being forced open. The police have come. I am safe, and they will take Alison away and lock her up.

Two officers appear in the doorway, and I’m surprised to see they’re both armed. They must have wondered what they would be walking into. I don’t even hear what they say – I’m too numb, the fear I’ve kept at bay since I stepped inside this flat suddenly paralysing me, even though I’m safe now.

All I know is that they’re talking to Alison, and then she is screaming at them. ‘Wait, you’ve got it all wrong!’ She squirms and wriggles, trying to break free from the officer who has gripped her arm, but she has no chance against him.

‘Tell them, Mia, tell them the truth—’

They haul her out of the flat before she can say any more.

That’s all I hear before I sink to the floor and let out the flood of tears I’ve been holding back.

‘Are you okay, miss?’ the other officer asks.

‘I will be,’ I manage to say. ‘I think I will be now.’