---

Weeks pass and it’s obvious Aaron hasn’t spoken to Alison, hasn’t bothered to do the decent thing and tell her I was defending her. I know this because nothing changes. If anything, her frostiness and bizarre behaviour escalates.

Things go missing from my room, but I ignore these petty incidents. I’m too busy worrying about Kieren, and Richard’s threat, to devote any time to solving my issue with Alison. There’s nothing personal I care about anyway, except a picture Kieren drew me before I left, to say goodbye. But I make sure that stays with me at all times. She’ll never even set eyes on it. Though I’m at work, the café is quiet, so I pull the drawing out of my bag and smile at the two stick figures walking a dog we’ve never had. The one that’s supposed to be me has long hair, before I cut it all off. We’re both wearing huge misshapen smiles – something that rarely happened in that house. It’s not a bad drawing for a five-year-old, but more important is what it represents: Kieren’s dreams. He’s always wanted a dog – it was one of his first words – and one day I will make sure I get him one.

I put the picture back in my bag. I’m supposed to keep all my things in the back office but Pierre’s not here and I’ll be closing up soon so I keep it on the floor by me.

I could easily retaliate and snoop through Alison’s things, pay her back for invading my privacy, but I won’t stoop to her level of craziness. And every day I pity her more than I hate her.

As for Zach, we are practically strangers now. His game of helping me one minute, claiming to be a friend, and then cutting me off the next was doing my head in. I’ve had enough; I’m done with him.

‘Excuse me? A hot chocolate with extra cream, please.’

I’ve been so lost in my thoughts I haven’t noticed anyone come into the coffee shop.

‘Sorry. Anything else?’ I smile at the customer, even though I’m exhausted and ready to go home. He looks familiar, maybe around my age, and he’s dressed casually in jeans, trainers and a hooded top. Not the usual suited-up man we get in here at this time. I’m sure I know him but I can’t place him.

‘You’re Josie, aren’t you?’

Hearing my name puts me on alert and I edge away from him. My phone is in my bag by my feet, but by the time I’ve fumbled around for it anything could have happened.

‘I’m Craig. I’m in your creative writing class.’ He hands me a ten-pound note.

I relax a bit. ‘Oh yeah.’ But I don’t recall him from any of the lectures. There are far too many students and I’ve had too much else going on to pay much attention to anyone.

‘Don’t worry, I don’t really know too many people either so I’m not offended if you don’t recognise me. Anyway, how are you finding it?’ he asks, as I hand him his change and start making his drink.

I could tell him how much I enjoy it, that Zach has opened my eyes, made me see the world in a different way, but of course I won’t tell him any of that clichéd shit. ‘It’s all right.’

Craig nods. ‘To be honest, I’m struggling a bit with the assignments. I’m just not really that creative. I thought I was, before I started uni, but hey, I guess not. Actually, it’s really stressing me out. I need to pass this year.’

I’m not sure why he’s telling me all this when this is the first time we’ve spoken, but I find it refreshing. I’m so used to guys putting on an act, trying to make out they’re so much more than they are, so it’s nice to hear someone actually being human and admitting they’re not perfect.

‘Well, you should talk to Zach Hamilton,’ I tell him. ‘He’s cool.’

‘Yeah, I know. But he’s already given me loads of extra help so I don’t really want to hassle him again. The man’s got a life outside uni!’

Hearing this shouldn’t bother me but it does. I know Zach gives everything he’s got to his students, and it shouldn’t surprise me that I’m not the only person he’s helped, but somehow I feel less… something. Special? God, I’m pathetic.

‘Well, if it makes you feel better I don’t exactly find this uni thing easy either. Most of it goes way above my head, to be honest. But d’you know what? I’m not going to let it beat me. I will finish this, and pass, if it kills me. There’s always a way to achieve what you want.’ I pause. ‘Sorry if that’s not very helpful.’

Craig smiles. ‘No, it is. And you’re right. Thanks. Maybe I just needed a kick up the arse. I need to stop thinking I can’t do it and focus on… just doing it.’

‘Here you go,’ I say, handing him the hot chocolate. It makes me feel good to know I might have helped him find some motivation. ‘Hope you can find somewhere to sit.’

He turns round, scans the empty room and laughs. ‘Is it always this quiet? I’ve never been in here before.’

I lower my voice, even though there’s nobody else in here. ‘I call it the dead time. Most people are rushing home from work, and the students have long gone, so it’s pointless us being open. But don’t tell my manager that.’

He winks at me then thanks me for the drink, and I watch him head to a table in the corner. He seems okay. Perhaps I should make more effort to get to know the people on my course, instead of throwing all my focus onto Zach. But then I think of Alison and decide I’m better off keeping myself to myself.

By closing time Craig is still here, even though for the last ten minutes I’ve been hinting that we’re closing soon. But I feel a bit sorry for him, sitting by himself with his lecture notes spread out in front of him and his pen poised over a piece of paper that’s been blank for as long as he’s been sitting there.

So I give him more time and start cleaning the tables.

‘Can I help you with anything?’ he asks, looking desperate for anything to do other than his assignment.

‘No, Pierre will kill me. I’m the one he’s paying so I should do it myself. He’s probably watching the CCTV from home right now.’ I’m not sure why I say this when we have no CCTV inside the shop, but it’s dark outside and Craig’s the only one in here, so perhaps it’s my instincts protecting me after everything I’ve been through.

Craig nods. ‘Makes sense. So, can I ask you a personal question?’

My heart sinks. Here it is. This guy is probably just as much a sleaze as Aaron, and all the others I’ve ever met, and has been waiting to ask me to go for a drink with him or something. His struggling student speech was just an act.

‘What?’ I say, letting my annoyance seep into my voice.

‘Um… when I was talking to Zach, he, um, kind of said you’d be a great person to chat to about short stories. He said you’d got one of the highest marks he’d ever given. I just kind of need inspiration, I suppose. Like I said, I just don’t think I’m creative.’

‘Zach told you that?’ I try not to smile, but there are annoying flutters in my stomach.

‘Yeah. He’s given up so much time for me and I think he’s got a lot of stuff going on at home, but I could tell he was really impressed with you and thought you could help me.’

I’m so thrilled by Zach’s compliment that I don’t register much else of what Craig is saying. ‘I really don’t know how I could help.’

‘Maybe just a chat or something some time, if you’re ever free? I’ll give you my number.’ He rips a piece of paper from his pad and scribbles on it. ‘I’d better go, got work in an hour. Late shift at the bookies.’

I watch him leave and realise I’m still smiling. Mostly because of what Zach said, but also because I actually think Craig might be quite a decent guy.

---

When I get home the flat is freezing, as usual. I’ve grown used to Alison’s pathetic trick of turning all the radiators off except for her own, and usually I ignore it, but this evening I’ve reached the end of my rope.

I storm towards her door, but stop when I hear my name.

‘I just can’t stand her, she makes my skin crawl. I’m counting the days until the summer holiday.’

There is a pause and no one else speaks, so I realise she must be on the phone. I lean against the wall by her door and continue to listen.

‘She’s some kind of psycho or something. Always making things up. I can’t trust her… But I know stuff about her and she has no idea. Stuff you wouldn’t believe… No, not yet, but I will.’

She is walking around now. I can hear her feet shuffling on the carpet. ‘I don’t even know how she managed to get on a degree course. A fly’s got more intelligence than she has, she’s complete trash.’

It’s time to walk away. I don’t need to hear what she’s saying; none of it is true and her comments say more about her than they do about me, but I can’t help feeling as though I’ve been stung.

I think of the bottle of gin in the living room. It’s calling my name but I won’t listen; I won’t be that person Alison and the rest of them want me to be. So I go straight to my room, with no idea how I’ll spend the rest of the night.

Studying is the only thing I have left now, but I’m up to date with all my assignments. Desperate for something to quash the loneliness, I begin copying up lecture notes I’ve hastily scrawled at university. There’s no need for me to do this, they’re perfectly legible, but it will kill a couple of hours until I can sleep.

Vanessa texts and invites me to a party at her place but I delete her message without replying. And then I delete her phone number. Just in case I’m ever tempted.

I crawl into bed not long after this, with every inch of my body fighting tiredness and isolation. How can the absence of one person have left such a gap in my life when I’ve only known him such a short time?

But I can’t let this weaken me, I’ve got to pick myself up.

Without thinking, I pick up my phone and begin texting.

Let’s meet up some time.

Craig replies within seconds.