LAURA
The cat purrs from my right. I’m still standing in the same spot that Craig had left me in. My heart hasn’t settled down. My mind is reeling with how dumb and weak I must have looked to him. His uncaring attitude had me wondering if I had misheard the situation with him and Michelle. Also, his line of questioning has me really confused with the whole conversation.
When I had seen him walk towards me, I was ready to tell him how much of a bully he was, but the moment he stood in front of me, words failed me. Each step he had taken towards me had terrified me. And I had truly questioned if he would hurt me.
But he hadn’t.
My eyes scan the chaos around me and I feel itchy. Not in a sense that I need to vacate the room but more like I need to fix the room, once upon a time it must have been beautiful.
I just take a step towards the bookshelves when Craig comes back in the door. My shoulders tighten instantly, and I can feel my leg muscles cease up too. He’s going to hurt me. He’s changed his mind. I was right.
I don’t run as he approaches me, he’s moving quicker but the strain is visible from the sweat that coats his face. The moment his fingers touch my arm, my body unfreezes and I step away from him abruptly and back into one of shelves. The impact knocks a few books on the ground; the noise has me squeezing my eyes shut. It’s so loud, like the snap of a belt, or the thump of a fist.
“Who’s there?” My eyes snap open at the unfamiliar voice.
“We’ve got to go now.” Craig speaks close to my ear, his voice urgent, while he takes my arm and steers me towards the shelves. It doesn’t take long for him to steer us to the back of the room through the maze of books. We don’t speak but the rattle of keys and the occasional hello tells me the man is still here. So many questions race through my mind.
Why are we hiding? Who is the man? Why is Craig taking me with him? How does he even know where he’s going? What happens now as we stop?
Craig pulls me down so we are hunkered behind an old mahogany desk. I pull my legs up to my chest as I try to slow my pounding heart. I hate hiding; I hate the fear that is building in me at being caught. What will the punishment be?
Burying my head in my knees, I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Little flower at this hour, for the love of Jesus, show your power. Little flower, you are so young, strong and beautiful, at this hour at this very moment, please don’t let the man find me. I recite this in my head, even as memories start to come alive.
Monsters that had only been shadows start to take the form of men and I can’t breathe. I can’t do this. I’m gripping Craig’s arm and I know I must be hurting him, but all I can smell and taste is fear. The sweat rises up; the smell familiar as the taste of metal fills my mouth when I clamp down on my jaw. Sweat forms on my lip and I swallow.
Craig is looking at me like I’ve gone crazy and right now I don’t care as long as he keeps looking at me. I cling to green eyes like the forest floor. Tears blur my vision as brown eyes so soft and full of life smile at me. Blinking away the image of Violet, my strength, my everything, disappears and now I focus on Craig as salty tears find their way into my mouth.
“It’s okay.” My eyes snap to Craig’s lips as he speaks quietly. He’s moved now, now he is on his knees in front of me. I’m still gripping him and he’s allowing me to. He shifts, and I fear he’s going to leave me.
But he takes his cigarettes and lighter out of his back pocket, lighting one up he offers me one and I decline, I’ve never smoked before and they don’t look appealing to me at all.
“He’s gone.” He tells me as I look out over the top of the desk. It’s only now that I release him. He acts like we are just hanging out. I wipe the tears from my cheek and lick the salt from my lips.
“Who was that?” My voice sounds shaky even to my own ears. I pull my legs back up to my chest and focus on my knees now.
“He’s the caretaker. If he catches us we’ll be reported and this area is off limits.”
I glance at Craig, he’s facing me, watching me and it makes me uncomfortable, I shift. “They should really have a sign up.” I say, he grins.
“They did. I took it down.” With a shrug, he takes another pull of his cigarette. My eyes are once again drawn to all his tattoos. The white t-shirt he wears brings the colors to life.
“I like it here.” He adds as he blows smoke directly onto the tip of his cigarette causing the top of it to blaze red before settling back down. “So you can’t come back here.”
I don’t answer him because for the first time in a long time I feel I might have a purpose. I think maybe Violet sent me here; she knew I would find hope in helping and caring for someone besides myself. On cue the cat appears and I smile at it.
“Here pussy pussy.” I call her over and completely ignore Craig’s childish laughter.
“Don’t say ‘pussy’ again, Laura. It sounds so wrong coming from your innocent mouth.” The cat decides to skip off and I turn to Craig, pissed with him. His laughter caused the cat to leave.
“And how exactly would you know if my mouth was innocent or not?” I’m not brave around boys as most boys avoid me, so being challenged by someone like Craig makes me want to prove him wrong.
“I suppose I’ll find out.” His words and accompanying grin send a shiver down my spine.