CHAPTER FOURTEEN

LAURA

IT’S MOVIE NIGHT and it seems to be a big deal in this place.

“Sit with us, if you get stranded from us they will pounce.” Sarah makes it sound like we are a stampede of elephants being tracked by lions.

“I think I’ll be fine.” I tell her as I sit on my bed and wait while she finishes putting on her makeup. For someone who is worried about being pounded on, she sure is putting a lot of effort into her appearance.

I look down at my red sweater and black jeans. It’s plain and comfortable; I’m not trying to attract anyone. And if I was, it’s against the rules of this place.

“Oh my God, Michelle. Go easy on the eyeliner pencil.” I groan internally as Ava enters the room and polutes it with her cheap perfume. Her low-cut top and tight white jeans will sure get everyone’s attention. Something twists in my stomach and I try to ignore it, but I can’t. I know how the boys will look at her, I don’t like the idea of Craig looking at her. Michelle’s ears turn as red as her face. I wonder why people like Ava exist when all they do is hurt others.

“I think you look pretty, Michelle,” I say getting off the bed.

“Prettier than you.” Ava puts a hand on her hip. I hate this high school pettiness. I want to ask her why she hates me. What did I do so wrong? But that would be admitting that her words annoy me. So instead I smile. “She is.”

Michelle beams at me. “Thanks Laura.”

I step around Ava as Maria enters. She’s wearing a pair of sparkly purple gloves up to her elbows. The black dress she is wearing reaches the floor and is three sizes too big, but she smiles at me and I suppose that’s all that really matters. She’s happy. It’s something we spend our whole lives searching for. We think we can find it in materials, our jobs, but if you can’t smile while standing still, you will never find it. Violet’s motto was ‘happiness isn’t a destination, but a way of life.’ I loved her outlook. I swallow the lump and my chest tightens.

Ethan, Michael and Craig appear in front of me, in the long hallway.  They haven’t seen me, and I use them as a distraction from my morbid thoughts. Craig is wearing a pair of jeans that he fills. I’ve never seen him from behind or had the time to study him from this angle but right now I appreciate it. His wide shoulders are covered in a light blue t-shirt that stretches across them. I find myself staring at the back of his neck where black ink runs from under his top and into his hairline. I quickly look away from him. Michael wears a grey tracksuit that I’ve seen on him several times.

“Hi,” I say and they all stop. My stomach flips as Craig grins at me and I can’t stop the smile that tugs at my lips. His tongue darts out as he licks his lips while his eyes travel down my body. My face heats up, so I quickly turn to Ethan, who is the reason for me stopping them. His neat appearance always makes me think he spent most his life having his mother dress him and now he wasn’t sure what to do.

The yellow polo shirt, along with his beige trousers, look so out of place. But Ethan was out of place here. He always seems so nice and happy. But obviously it wasn’t that simple otherwise he wouldn’t be here, would he?

“How’s Minnie?” I ask him, hoping that Rose had said, or did something so Minnie didn’t hate me so much.

Ethan’s apologetic look tells me everything and my shoulders slump. “Just give her time.” He says and I nod. Michael places his arm around my shoulder and my body tenses.

“We’re here for you.” He tells me and I try to step away from him, but Craig gets there first, shoving him off me.

“Leave her alone.” He says and Michael holds up his hands but grins.

“I was only trying to help.”

“Well you’re not, you moron.” I can feel my chest heat up. A part of me is elated at Craig’s protectiveness but the other part is confused.

“Hi,” I turn as Ava, Michelle and Maria arrive in the hallway too. Ava moves up against Craig, pushing her chest towards him. It reminds me of the way Tai rubs up against me when I arrive at the library.

“Anyone know what the movie is?” Ava coos each word while looking up at Craig. Again it sounds like she’s purring or maybe I have Tai on the brain. I want to pull her away from Craig, so I hold my hands still at my side instead.

“The Secret Garden.” Maria squeals with excitement and I can’t help but smile at her. Being with a group this size is exciting and terrifying. I want to step back and melt into the wall hoping no one notices but another part of me loves being part of this.

“That about the cripple?” And just like that, Michael has the ability to shatter the niceness of this.

“Don’t be a dick.” Ethan says, and Michael ignores him by turning to Michelle.

“You look pretty.”

The snigger from Ava has me looking at her, narrowing her eyes before raising one eyebrow she stares right back at me daring me to say something.

“Thanks.” Michelle whispers to my left. Right now I’ve had enough. Cruelty makes my stomach tighten and my palms sweat. I sidestep the group and make my way to the movie room. No one stops me, and I bite my lip as I enter the room.

It’s small and the overhead lights are already dimmed. Benches line the room that a lot of other residents sit on, some I have never seen before, others I have in passing. My eyes scan the crowd looking for Minnie. But she’s not here. Staff are scattered throughout the room.

I walk to the left of the room – it’s the least cluttered – and sit on an empty bench. The large screen takes up a chunk of the front wall, the projector sits on a table near the front. The movie hasn’t started yet.

My heart pounds so loudly in my chest that I fear the people behind me might hear it. Closing my eyes, I picture the room and everyone in it. They all talk to each other or stare off into space but no one is looking at me. No one is looking at the girl who sits by herself.

Opening my eyes, my heart still pounds but I hold my hands open on my lap. The familiar noise of ‘our group’ arriving has me sitting a bit straighter. As they settle, I wait a few minutes before subtly glancing over my right shoulder. They are only two benches away. My eyes clash with Craig’s and I quickly whip around and stare at the blank screen again.

My heart slams into my chest as someone sits beside me a few moments later, and I know it’s him. His smell of cologne, mixed with cigarette smoke, is uniquely him. I glance at Craig. “What are you doing?” I whisper.

“You’re telling me to fuck off again, Laura. It really isn’t nice.” His mouth twitches as he speaks. I blink rapidly before looking away from his smiling green eyes, to stare at the screen again. I look back to find him still watching me.

“No. I’m asking you why you are sitting with me?” I breathe through my nose now, my heart is ready to burst from my chest. I’m not sure why my body is reacting so strongly to him but I’m struggling. If he sees it, he doesn’t say and for that, I am slightly grateful.

“I want to sit here. Unless you don’t want me too?” His question is delivered with a raised eyebrow.

Do I? Yes I hate being alone, but I also hate how he is making me feel. “It’s a free country.”  I end up saying and he snorts a short laugh, his lips tug again until a smile is there on his face and I mirror his with one of my own.

The projector comes to life, the lights go out, but I still smile at Craig until the movie starts and I’m forced to watch. I’m aware of everything about Craig. He’s moved twice during the movie and now his thigh rests against mine. Just when I start to relax, and my heart rate returns to something that would be considered normal, he shifts again and sends it sky rocketing.

“Just take them, I got them for you.” Michael and Michelle have spoken a few times throughout the movie but now they are louder. Most of the staff have left the room, the ones who haven’t, stand at the back.

“I don’t want them.” Michelle answers in a monotone but so much louder than Michael.

“Michael, can you silence your woman.” Craig has turned around and speaks to Michael.

“Craig really?” I ask him, and he looks at me.

“What? You didn’t know they were seeing each other?” He’s way too close now, and I’m shaking my head instead of answering.

“Why don’t you shut your woman up?” Michael barks back, he’s angry, angrier than what is justified. I duck my head down, hating the attention on me now and the anger also.

Craig laughs. “You should be glad you have one, Michael, just keep a leash on her.” Craig grins and Michael stands up now, even as Michelle tugs him back down.

“I will fuck you up.”

“You want to fuck me?” Craig asks as the other residents start to give out with the noise level and disturbance.  One of the nurses is making her way down to us.

“Craig, stop.” I tug on his sleeve and he looks at me. The smile in his eyes tells me he’s enjoying this.

“Yeah, I’ll stick a dick in your mouth.” Michael’s anger is having him spew words.

“You’re going to rape my mouth? You’re a sick man.” Craig sneers at Michael. I sink further into my seat.

“Okay if you don’t stop, you’re out.” Thankfully the nurse has reached us, and I turn around in my seat tugging Craig with me, surprisingly he comes with me no argument. I haven’t watched a moment of this movie, my mind is too aware of Craig and the conversations around me.

It’s been ten minutes since Michael’s outburst and he’s arguing with Michelle again. It seems he wants her to take the M&M’s he bought her and she’s refusing.

“You’re embarrassing me.” I can hear him say.

“You’re embarrassing yourself.” I smile at Michelle’s quick retort.

“Michael, take your M&M’s and go outside. No one wants to hear your whining.” I widen my eyes at the side of Craig’s face.

“I’ll shove these M&M’s up your ass Craig.” Michael is standing now, shaking the packet of M&M’s.

“Sexual again, Michael. I know you want me.” Craig grins and I fear Michael is going to throw himself at Craig, his face is red as a tomato but instead, he leaves, and I’m surprised when Michelle follows him out.

I glance at Craig several times throughout the duration of the movie wondering how he’s so calm. I would be shaking after such a fight. My mind would be like scrambled eggs. But he looks so relaxed and to achieve that look while sitting on a hard-wooden bench is saying something.

“I don’t mind you looking at me.”

My chest and face burn at his words and I face forward. He hadn’t indicated that he knew I was looking at him. I dip my chin down trying to hide my burning face, my focus is now on my borrowed black sneakers. Whoever owned the sneakers really took care of them, they were worn from time but the white around the bottom of the sneakers is white, the laces free of any discoloration.

“Want to go to our place?” Now Craig has my attention and I narrow my eyes on him, he cocks an eyebrow again. I angle slightly away from him; we are way too close.

“Why?”  I ask as a fresh flush covers my chest and face. I haven’t said no because I want to spend time with Craig and the fact that he calls it our place isn’t lost on me. But I’m not stupid either. Why did he want to spend time with me?

“You can say no if you want.” Craig faces forward for nine seconds before getting up and moving through the room to the exit.