CRAIG
I feel slightly sick as the ring tone fills my ear. What if she doesn’t pick up? What if she does? Fear has me gripping the phone.
“Hello?” My stomach summersaults.
“Grace it’s Craig.” I can hear her sharp intake of breath.
“Oh my God. Where are you? Do you know how worried I’ve been?” She sounds about ready to cry and I feel so guilty now.
“Yeah I’m in rehab, so we are cut off from the outside world.” I lie.
“You couldn’t make one phone call?”
I look at Mrs Doyle who is no doubt recording my call.
“No. I was an addict and it took me a while to get clean.”
“It’s so good to hear from you. I’ve missed you.” I smile now at the sincerity in her voice. She stills sounds like Grace.
“I’ve missed you too. That’s why I’m ringing, I was wondering if you’d come visit me.”
“Of course I would love to. We so need to catch up. Where are you?”
When I tell her she goes silent.
“My mom was there.” The pain is evident in her voice and I should tell her not to come, but I need her to. So I stay silent.
“When can I come?” She sounds distant now, almost like her mind is on something else.
“Tomorrow we are allowed visitors.” I tell her, and I keep every part of my body crossed.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Craig.” I feel guilty again, I know Grace will put herself out for others, and that’s exactly what I was relying on.
“See you then.” I tell her. As I hang up, Mrs Doyle is there waiting for the receiver and I realize fully for the first time how I can’t wait to get out of this place.
I find Michael, Ava, Maria and Michelle in the communal area. I’m hoping by the end of the week that I’ll be out of here. Sitting down everyone goes silent, no one looks at me.
“Oh for fuck sake.” I say getting everyone’s attention they all look fucking dumb.
“Laura is doing fine. Yes the rumors are true.” I lie my head against the couch and find an ache racing throughout my body. I’m exhausted.
“What rumors?” I look at Michelle, she’s trying to look innocent even as her face reddens and I find myself smiling at her.
“You’ll be fine.” I tell her.
“Man are you okay?” Michael looks weary now, but I lean back and close my eyes.
“Yeah. I will be.” I hope it’s the truth.
***
I’m sitting at a table waiting for Grace to arrive. My leg won’t stop shaking. I haven’t slept, and my heart palpitates. It’s been so long since I saw her. So much depends on this going well.
When she walks in my eyes go to her growing stomach. She’s not even half way across the room when I meet her and manage to get in an awkward hug.
“Your pregnant.” She looks tired, but happy tired.
Holding up her left hand she shows me two serious rings. “Married.”
“To Damien?” I can’t help but tease her and she tilts her head as though she’s angry but her eyes smile at me.
“Derek.”
“I’m so happy for you.” I tell her and mean it. I had always thought that I loved Grace. I did, but I now realize it is nothing like I feel for Laura. Grace was the closest I ever came to loving someone. But it wasn’t really love. She was always kind to me and I never experienced that in my life. Now I understand love. It’s what I feel for Laura.
“You look amazing.” She tells me as we make our way to the table. “I know right.” She laughs and it’s so familiar.
“So is Derek the father.” She swipes at me as we sit down at the table.
“Craig.” Her eyes are still smiling.
“Of course he is.” She tells me and of course he is. Grace is loyal.
“So tell me everything.” She says and when I think of our time apart mine has been rough.
“I got heavily addicted to heroin. When I overdosed I ended up in here. I’ve been clean for a year.”
She’s crying already, and I take her hand. That’s Grace. So soft.
“You will upset the baby. It ended well.” I tell her, and she wipes away her tears.
“I found someone in here.”
Her smile is wide. “Where?” She’s looking around at all the other residents.
“She’s not here. But you’ll meet her soon.” My stomach is starting to twitch the longer we chat about what her life has been like and I talk about Laura. But, the reason I brought her here wasn’t for a catch up.
“So I want to get out of here but I’ve got a little problem.” She sits back and folds her arms over her bump, then places her fingers across her stomach.
“It really suits you.”
“I know.” I laugh at her response.
“So what’s the problem?” Her question brings me back to the reason she’s here. I’m as nervous as fuck.
“I need you to talk to Emmett. Can you ask him to come here and meet me?”
Grace puckers her lips. “I don’t like this, about what? What has Emmett done?”
“It’s something I did to him, and I need to talk to him about it.”
Now Grace frowns. “You want to tell me what that something is?”
I swallow and look away. If she knew what I did to Amber I’m not sure she would be sitting here right now.
“Not really, no Grace. I’m sorry.”
She waves her hands in the air. “Believe it or not. I’m not naïve. I know Emmett hasn’t exactly got clean hands. But I’ll set it up.”
The tension leaves my shoulders. “Really?” That simple?
“Yes really. I always told you Craig I’d be your constant.”
I take her hands in mine and kiss them one at a time. “Thank you Grace.” I tell her and her eyes well up.
“Your welcome.” She stays for a while longer chatting about Amber. Amber is still with Emmett, which I think makes this whole situation worse. But I smile, nod and hope I hide my inner turmoil well.
When the hour is up I promise her when I get out we will meet up and she can meet Laura.