CHAPTER SIXTEEN

LAURA

 

I SWALLOW THE saliva that fills my mouth.  I should have stayed where I was. I don’t know why I went after Craig but listening to his conversation with Ava has me closing the door and moving back to the shelves.

My lips and chin tremble as I make my way into the maze of books. I let Tai go, unable to hold him. Pushing a fist to my lips to stop any sob that tries to get free, I move faster. He had said she was stunning and then the worst part…he kissed her.

My stomach flips at that thought. I find the mahogany desk that I’d hidden behind with Craig the day Desmond had searched for us. Now I sit down and hunch over, trying to choke down on the sob that claws its way up my throat.

He made it seem like I was nothing. Once again I have become a secret and that is making me grip my sweater tightly. Pulling it away from my chest, I fight for air. I hitch over onto my side, my eyes blur with tears, the room tilts further until blackness consumes me.

 

The smell was the first thing that had my stomach tightening. It was the smell of stuffiness after a full night of sleep and the stench of alcohol. The curtains were still pulled shut as my dad sat up in bed.

“Sit down, Laura, and close the door.”

I did while crossing then uncrossing my legs. I think brandy was last night’s binge. At this moment I prayed my mother would arrive. But that didn’t happen. I took a quick glance at my dad, before looking away.

“Just wanted a word.” I faced the wall. He didn’t ask me to look at him so a part of me knew this conversation wouldn’t be a simple one.

“What happens in this house is no one’s business and stays in this house.” I gulped the stagnant air.

Glancing over my shoulders, I nodded stiffly. “Yeah.” We held each other’s stare, my mind reeling, my stomach feeling sick. I wanted off this bed and out of this room, but I wouldn’t move until he said so.

“Good.” And there was my release. I left the room and went downstairs. All I wanted to do was find my peace in my room alone. But my number one mission right now was to be normal. Act normal. Because nothing happened. And nothing was unusual about that conversation. It was just a chat between a father and a daughter. Nothing odd.

I started the clothes and my mother smiled at me. “Thanks, sweetheart.” She said as I loaded the washing machine. My father arrived in the kitchen dressed and ready for the day. As I passed him, he pulled me into a hug, one that I returned along with a kiss to his cheek.

“Love you.” I told him.

My mother laughed. “You two are always hanging off each other.”

I released my father as quick as he released me.

“Don’t be so twisted, Vivine.” My dad told her as I laughed quickly and left the kitchen. It wasn’t until later when I went outside did I let the conversation sink in.

I had no one to tell.

Tell what?  I shivered at the voice. The one that wanted me to see this for what it as entered my mind once more. But that side of me was dramatic and amplifying it. My dad didn’t mean it, he was always drunk when he arrived in my room. He didn’t know what he was doing. It wasn’t like abuse or anything. It was a mistake, it was only touching.

Also, I never stopped it, if I did, it would make it too real.

Make what real?

I wanted to shut that voice up. I walked faster through the long grass until a rock jutting up out of the ground got my attention, its sharp edge catching the light. I didn’t think too much, instead I threw myself at it, and squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for the pain that came. A scream tore from my mouth as I fell to the ground in agony.

“Laura.” I open my eyes. The grass is gone, the musty smells of the library, smoke and Craig has me inhaling deeply. “I’m taking you to the nurse, Laura. That’s twice now.”

Craig straightens me up and I look into his moss green eyes. The memory isn’t mine, it’s Violet’s; she had told me about that. But I must have pushed it to the back of my mind. My brows furrow as I push Craig away and pull up the leg of my jeans.

“What are you doing?” Craig moves back towards me, but my mind is on full speed to see something. My world starts to crumble as I stare at the white scar on my knee.

No.

I blink until my vision came back into focus. That isn’t possible. It’s Violet’s memory, not mine. My finger trembles as it traces the scar on my knee.

“Laura.” Why did Craig sound so afraid? I look up at him and let out a shaky breath.

“It’s from a fall as a child. Maybe off my bike.” I’m nodding, not making any sense to Craig but to me, it makes sense. It’s just a coincidence

“Come on.” Craig pulls me to my feet. When he kneels down in front of me, I hold my breath as his fingers brush my leg. He drags my jeans leg back into place.

“I could have done that.” I say quietly as he stands back up.

“That’s okay.” We don’t speak as we make our way to the hospital. I don’t mind now. I need time away from Craig.

***

I stare at the empty notepad that Rose has given me. Three days it has been in my possession and I haven’t written a word. Subconsciously, my hand runs across the top of my head and along my ponytail. I am still getting used to wearing my hair back. I also haven’t seen Craig in three days. I thought that would ease the confusion inside me, but it only makes me miss him. Which adds to my confusion. I’m still hurt by what he said to Ava but also I appreciate how much he has let me into his life.

I run my hand over my ponytail again, thinking about Craig. I had thought about him a lot over the last three days, but right now, it’s like the thought makes him appear; he’s standing at my doorway. I don’t acknowledge how great it is to see him, or how good he looks. I don’t notice how my heart drums in my chest or how my stomach flips.

“You got a minute?” Craig asks from the doorway. I tuck the notepad under my pillow, like it holds all my secrets. Craig watches me carefully.

“Yeah what’s up?” I ask diverting his attention from my pillow.

“Minnie’s new pussy is missing,” he grins while he speaks.

“Minnie has a new cat?” I ask Craig getting off my bed. He pushes away from the doorframe.

“Yeah, a pussy cat.” I smile even as my face burns. I missed this about him. I’m also glad that Minnie replaced the cat that I supposedly killed.

Shaking my head, I leave the room with him. Looking at him sideways, he smiles at me.

“An invisible cat that I hope not to kill this time.” I correct him while looking away. I can hear Minnie calling Stones.

Craig stops walking and gently touches my arm. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good,” I tell him. If he had asked me this a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have believed his sincerity. But now this Craig that I was getting to know was different.

“You know I’m a human lie detector. You can’t lie to me, Laura,” he speaks while his grin reappears.

My stomach tightens at how he says my name. It sounds so nice coming from his mouth.  I look away from him and focus on Minnie racing around the canteen.  I wasn’t sure if she was still angry over Blake. Maybe she had forgotten by now. “I would never lie to you, Craig,” I tell him, looking back.

He smiles now. “Do you know what my radar is telling me?” he asks as we start to walk towards the chaos again.

“What?” I ask as I push open the doors.

“S-T-O-N-E-S,” Minnie’s screams add to the chaos before us.

“You are lying to me, Laura,” Craig whispers close to my ear, making me shiver. “We’ll chat later,” he tells me. “Stones,” he shouts moving towards Minnie, who pauses to thank him. I join the madness, looking under tables and chairs. A lot of people have left, some of the nurses are coaxed out of the room, only a hand full of us are searching. Two hours, that’s how long this madness has gone on. I’m tired and getting hungry.

“I found him,” I shout and everyone looks at me with relief. Craig stands up from the couch and winks at me while clapping.

“Yeah. Stones, has been found,” he declares and I roll my eyes while smiling. I hold Stones carefully as I walk towards Minnie. She studies my empty arms. I raise my hands higher ready to pass him over. Minnie holds up her hands.

“That’s not Stones” her lip quivers. Craig moves beside me, he glances so seriously towards my arm.

“Minnie, are you sure? Because that really looks like Stones.” She takes a second look. Rose moves towards Minnie now.

“That’s not Stones.” She sounds so certain. OKAY

“Must be a stray” I say.

“What will you do with him?” Minnie surprises me, stopping me from ‘releasing’ the stray. I’m just relieved she’s not angry with me anymore.

“Let him go,” I tell Minnie and she shakes her head.

“You should keep him.”

“Yeah I agree.” I narrow my eyes at Craig as he shrugs and grins at me.

“I don’t’ know, Minnie. I’m not really good with animals,” I tell her while glancing at Rose.

“He really likes you. Look how he curls into your chest.” I look at Rose again. Why is she not intervening? This is so stupid.

“Okay I’ll keep him,” I tell her, making the decision, and she smiles. “What’s his name?”

“Catsey Cline.” I say and Craig snorts loudly beside me.

“That’s a silly name,” Minnie declares.

“Well that’s his name.” My brows pull down with annoyance at Minnie’s declaration, this whole thing is stupid.

“No need to bite my head off,” Minnie snaps at me. I don’t get a moment to apologize as she starts to search for Stones again. I feel bad. I shouldn’t have snapped.

I leave the room with my ‘cat.’

“Don’t say a word,” I tell Craig as he walks beside me. “I can’t believe Rose wouldn’t intervene” I say, carrying the cat. I let my hands drop to my side, feeling stupid.

Craig keeps walking but looks at the ground while he speaks, “There goes Catsey Cline. Maybe he and Stones can hang out.”

We reach my room and I sit down on my bed, Craig lingers in the doorway.

“Rose should have sedated her.”

Craig grins. “Minnie has always been like that. Her meds don’t always help. If they started sedating her she would never be awake.” He sucks in his lip ring, relaxed and so unaware of himself. I envy him at this moment.

“So you moved rooms.” Craig finally says. After Craig had taken me to the hospital I had requested a transfer back to my old room, which Rose agreed to. I didn’t really think she would so I was delighted to have a room to myself again.

Now I wonder how Craig has found me. Did he go room to room? Or flirt with the receptionist to get my room number. “Yeah, I don’t like sharing.” 

Craig nods at my explanation while he taps the doorframe in a rhythm. “I wasn’t sure what happened to you, thought maybe you had left.”

“Still here.” I tell him unsure now what to say. “You’ve been here a while.” I add.

“Over a year.” His declaration doesn’t seem to bother him in the least.

“I don’t know how you’ve stayed here that long, Craig.”

He pushes off the doorframe, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “It’s full of wolves out there. Ones I’m not ready to face.”