CRAIG
I haven’t been allowed to see Laura and it’s driving me crazy. This place feels likes the walls are closing in on me.
Leaning across the reception desk I try to get Mrs Doyle’s attention. I can see her in the back office.
“Mrs Doyle.” A smile broadens her face as she steps out of the back office.
“Craig how are we today?” She’s chirpy for working here. She’s the art teacher also and I like her, anyone else I wouldn’t be nice too.
“I’m good thanks. I want to make a phone call.”
She raises a brow. “Have you penciled in for a phone call?” She knows I fucking haven’t. I’ve never made one.
“No I haven’t.” She scrunches up her face and shoulders. “I’m sorry sweetheart you know I can’t break the rules.”
Now I wondered if she was one of the people who might be informing Emmett about me.
I hold out my hand and she slides a black leather bound notepad into it. I flick it open using the ribbon that has sat neatly in place. I quickly write down that I want to make a phone call and hand it back to Mrs Doyle.
“I’ll do my best to get it pushed through.”
“Thanks.”
***
I spend a lot of the day jogging and I miss my session with Rose. She doesn’t seek me out like she normally would. Once I’m showered and cleaned up I make my way to a part of the hospital that I have only ever been in once. When I’d first arrived, I’d overdosed on heroine. I died and was resuscitated. That part was all easy, I was high and didn’t care. It was the aftermath, trying to keep clean. Methadone some days wasn’t enough so lashing out at staff was easier or cutting myself. I had spent far too many days at the start in isolation. Thinking I was going to die. Hoping I was going to die. But death never came knocking, no matter how much I screamed its name. I knock on the glass window and the nurse at the desk sticks her neck out to get a better look at me. I don’t know if she was here when I was. I can’t remember much only the cycle of thinking I was dying.
The door buzzes and I push it open. I try not to look around me, I don’t want any reminders. “I want to see Laura Teller.” I tell the nurse while I stuff my hands in my pockets.
“Do you have a pass?” Fucking passes, rules and regulations.
“Do I look like I have a pass?” I rock back on my heels and she tilts her head to the side.
“Getting smart with me isn’t going to get you anywhere.” Releasing a long breathe I try to calm down.
“I don’t have a pass. But I would very much appreciate it if I could see her.”
She goes to her computer; a pinched expression crosses her face like she’s smelled something bad.
“You need a pass for this one.”
I want to reach across the desk, grab the monitor and see what room she’s in. Instead I work a muscle in my jaw.
I take a step away from the desk. “Only Rose gives out passes.” Her tone is filled with ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude.
“I know that.”
“Oh you’re in luck.” I follow her gaze to Rose. I’m not sure if luck is the correct word. Her face is stern looking as she approaches me.
“I was just coming to find you.” That surprises the fuck out of me.
“Really?”
“Don’t act so surprised. Laura hasn’t stopped asking for you.” My stomach flips and my chest tightens. She was asking for me. That makes me so happy. I feared she might want to be left alone.
“Can I see her?” I exhale loudly and can’t stop the smile that breaks across my face.
“That’s why I was coming to get you. We can walk and talk.” The serious tone is back again, and I fall into step beside Rose.
“She’s doing good, but it will be a long process and she’s still very fragile.” Rose is glancing at me sideways. I know that fucking look.
“That’s all good. She has time.” I say. Rose touches me lightly on the arm stopping me from walking.
“Craig I’ve been your therapist long enough.” She pauses, and I don’t need her to fill in the rest.
“I’m not going to set her back or hurt her. I one hundred percent care for Laura.” Rose looks at me and there in the hall some kind of battle wages between us, and she’ll be a long time waiting if she thinks I’m going to either blink or look away.
After a few seconds, I’m not entirely sure how long we stare at each other, it’s Rose who looks away. We don’t walk far before she turns to a door on her left. “She’s in here.” She tells me while opening the door. My stomach tightens. I’m terrified of what I will find the other side of the door.