CHAPTER TWELVE

LAURA

 

SITTING IN THE garden with the warmth of the sun helps relax me. I practice the breathing techniques that Rose had given me. Today I didn’t feel as heavy. I’d spent the last few days in the library with the cat, who I’ve named Tai. It was a name of the main character in a romance novel I had found in the library.

I had started to organize the books by color which was fun and destressing. Tai hung out as I restacked the shelves. The scraps of food also helped the cat warm up to me.

My face feels bare with my hair tied back, but after my argument with Craig, something just switched. I am messed up, I am broken but one thing I am  not, is afraid.

I can smell the smoke as it itches my nose. I open one eye. Craig leans against a tree facing me, his head thrown back as he blows smoke into the air, his free hand is tucked deep into his pocket. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

I close my eye and try to continue focusing on my breathing.

“What are you doing?” Craig asks and I lose my concentration.  Nope it wasn’t going to happen. I look at Craig, ready to tell him to leave me alone. But I wasn’t like him, I wasn’t mean.

“Doing yoga. Feel free to use that in our next session with Olivia.” I say, and he smirks.

“Still pissed I see.” I don’t answer him. I listen for his receding footsteps, but when they grow closer instead, I open my eyes as he sits in front of me.

“What are you doing?” I ask. My stomach tightens. He sits way to close.

“Honestly I don’t fucking know.”

“Sorry, Craig. But your ‘honesty’ isn’t exactly blowing me away,” I do honesty in air quotes. Instead of him leaving, he smiles.

“I like this confident Laura who ties her hair back.” Heat rushes to my face so I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, hoping it will calm my racing heart.

When it slows down, and Craig doesn’t speak, I open one eye to see if he has left. But my stomach tightens with how he is looking at me. He seems to study me, his eyes flicking across my face.  “What are you doing?” I ask again, but this time for a different reason. I want to know why he is looking at me the way he is.

“Getting to know you,” he answers, before taking the box of cigarettes and lighter from his pocket.

“You don’t have to feel guilty about yesterday. Seriously I wasn’t nice either. So let’s just forget about it,” I tell him, giving him a free pass. He lights up the cigarette.

“I don’t feel guilty,” He blows the smoke from the corner of his mouth. His smirk irritates me.

“You should, Craig. What you did wasn’t fair. I told you that in a moment.” When he takes another deep inhale of his cigarette, I use the time to close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing. A few moments pass and I wonder again if Craig has left.

“I didn’t know it was a secret.” so he was still here. I look at him again. He looks away from me. This is the first time I have ever seen Craig unsure of himself and that makes me feel happy, like I’m not the only one feeling insecure or vulnerable. “I’ll let you get back to your yoga,” he says standing now.

“I accept your apology.” I tell him.

“I didn’t apologize.”

I smile before closing my eyes. “I won’t tell anyone, Craig,” I don’t look at him, but after fifty-five seconds. He walks away.