Luisa
My phone rings for the third time, and I grab it off the table under my parents’ porch. I’ve enjoyed being back in Tennessee because it’s given me the opportunity to visit with my parents. It has been way too long since I last saw them. I’ve also forgotten how quiet it is here on my parents’ ranch. Jasmine’s gone into town for a checkup because she’s been getting stomach cramps. She called me after her appointment and explained it was just Braxton-Hicks contractions causing them. Now that she’s almost six months pregnant, the doctor said she should be expecting some discomfort.
“Hawke again,” I whisper to myself. Well, there’s no time like the present. I’ve been ignoring his calls, but I think it’s time I face the music.
“Hello?”
There’s silence for a while, and I repeat, “Hello?”
“It’s me.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, my throat closing with my emotions.
“You still there?” he asks, but his voice sounds hesitant, quiet. I picture him in his room at the clubhouse, lying on his bed, shirtless, wide shoulders taking up half the space. His hair would be messy and draped over a pillow, and his abs—God, those abs, stomach flat as a surfboard—would be on full show.
“Yes, I’m here.”
“I’m so glad you answered.”
“Yeah, well, I thought we would have to talk eventually, so I answered, I guess.”
I hear him scratching his scruffy jaw before he speaks again. “Look, Lu, a lot is going down at the clubhouse. We’re goin’ on lockdown.”
“Lockdown?” I ask freaking out a little.
“Yeah,” he confirms. I’ve been at the club before when it was in lockdown. All members and their families need to stay at the club for as long as it takes to ensure everyone is safe. It means there’s a war happening, or about to happen.
“Babe, I need you here, to ensure you’re safe.”
“Why would anything happen to me?”
“I’m not sayin’ it will, we’re just taking precautions.”
“But why?” I ask feeling a little panicked now. “Am I in danger?”
“Look, it’s nothing for you to worry about, babe. Like I said, we’re just taking precautions.”
“Last time it was only a precaution, Jasmine got kidnapped. So be honest, Hawke,” I say sternly. “Am I in trouble?”
“Yes, I mean no. Fuck, Lu. I didn’t want to get you involved in this shit, but our club’s under threat right now. I need you here with me to make sure nothing happens to you.”
I inhale, feeling my pulse quicken. “But why would they do anything to me?”
“To get to me. And right now, you’re the only one they can hurt me with.”
“Oh,” I say, my voice a little quiet.
“Will you just come, Lu? For me?”
“For you? Are you kidding me? Where does your ex fit into all of this?”
I hear him sigh, and picture him running his hand through his hair—something that I love to do. “Lu, she’s out of the picture. I’ve dealt with her, now I need you here. Will you just get your ass here?”
“Out of the picture you say? So you left the wedding to go and help your ex, and left me here alone. I doubt she’s out of the picture, Hawke.”
“Fuck!” He growls into the phone. “I’m doing this because I care, and because I love you, Lu. Now get your ass down here, or I’ll come up there myself and drag you onto the motherfucking plane. Fuck! You sound just as bad as Jasmine.”
A small smile graces my lips, and I have to admit I’m a little turned on by this dominant side of Hawke. He’s never spoken to me like this before. I should be angry he is, but I can’t help the warm feeling spreading through me.
Jasmine. I forgot. Quill most likely wants her there now too. They were supposed to go on their honeymoon but Quill said he had to deal with important club business. Could this “club business” be why Hawke wants me there?
“What about Jasmine?” I ask him.
“Quill has already spoken to her. Why don’t you two come down together? You’ll both be safe here, and I’m sure Jasmine has no say anyway, not when it comes to Quill protecting what’s his.” Hawke pauses for a split second. “Just like I want to protect what’s mine.”
“Hawke….”
“Look, I know I have a lot of explainin’ to do. Can you come back, please, and we’ll talk more? I’ll meet you at the airport.”
“I’ll come back, but not to talk. You made it perfectly clear where I stand. Right now, I don’t know if I will ever be a priority to you. I can’t compete with your past, Hawke.”
“But you don’t have to, she won’t be bothering us.”
I sigh, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. My hand is shaking. “I doubt that. She calls, and you go running.”
“You don’t understand, she needed me.”
“I needed you,” I cry. “You left me at my best friend’s wedding, to be with her.”
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s not? Well it sure looks that way to me. Goodbye, Hawke.”
“Wait! Lu, tell me you’ll be on the next flight. There’s a plane that leaves at 4:00 p.m.”
“I’ll come,” I say. “Not because you want me there, but because I need to be with my best friend. She’s pregnant and might need me at a time like this. Goodbye, Hawke,” I repeat, and end the call this time. I drop the phone in my lap and let the tears I’ve been holding back escape. I cry into my hands and sink onto the rocking chair under my parents’ porch. The tears fall for a while, and when I have no more left in me, I take a deep breath and sit up and dry my eyes with the back of my sleeve. I make a vow, a promise, that this is the last time I waste tears on a man.
Grabbing Jasmine, and my luggage from the carousel, we walk to outside the airport. The club’s black SUV is out front and I spot Hawke instantly. He’s leaning against it, boots crossed in front of him. His hands are tucked into the front pockets of his jeans, and his sunglasses shield his eyes from mine. At first he doesn’t notice me, he’s in a conversation with Quill and they’re both laughing about something. Hearing that sound coming out of his mouth sends a wash of desire through my entire body. Frozen to the spot just watching him, I don’t notice Jasmine grabbing her bag out of my hand and walking past me, heading toward them. I can’t help but have my fill of Hawke. If only I had the same effect on him, maybe then I wouldn’t be fighting for his attention with his ex.
I’m brought out of my daydream state when I hear my name being called. “Luisa. Luisa, they’re here, come on.” I grip the handle of my luggage and shake my head. How can he still affect me this way?
With the sound of my name floating in the air, Hawke’s head turns to me. I can’t see behind his sunglasses but his lips turn up in a smile. I want to smile back, but I don’t. I need to keep my distance. I need distance. As I make my way closer to them, I turn my head away when Quill lifts Jasmine up against him and smashes his lips to hers. The long moan coming out of her mouth has my face heating. I look up at Hawke instead, he now has his glasses on top of his head. Those blue eyes of his bore into mine, and travel over every inch of my body. My heart rate picks up and my throat goes dry when I see his eyes are hooded with desire. When I reach him he cups my face in his hands, and leans down to kiss me. I don’t know how I find the courage but I turn my cheek away, not allowing him access to my lips. I’m too hurt. I’m not ready to forgive him yet.
His hands drop and he steps beside me, grabbing my luggage out of my hand. “Let’s go,” he demands, his face only seconds ago warm and happy to see me, now shielded, no emotion evident. I know I’m to blame for that, but he has to know that he hurt me. I don’t deserve that.
I make my way into the back of the SUV, watching as Quill opens the front passenger-side door for Jasmine. Great, this means Hawke’s in the back with me.
His familiar scent reaches my senses when he joins me in the back of the SUV. I move closer to my side of the seat, keeping my eyes focused outside the window.
“You okay there, Lu?” Quill asks, his eyes looking at me, and then to Hawke. I glance at Hawke and see him shake his head at Quill, then look away to outside his window. My eyes focus on one of his hands, resting on his right thigh, and the rubber bracelet that’s around his wrist. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows, and there’s just something about a man’s forearms. The way he flexes his arms has me licking my lips. Stop it, Lu, get it together.
He must feel my eyes on him because at that very second, he turns to face me. Quill and Jasmine are fully into a conversation about the lockdown, and now that she’s the president’s wife and old lady, she’ll be expected to take responsibility as highest-ranking woman of the clubhouse—make sure food is in supply, drinks and beds available. I listen as she raises her concerns about what’s going on at the club, but Quill soon has her forgetting all that when he grasps the back of her head and kisses her.
My eyes move from Hawke’s arm, up to his face. He slowly pulls his glasses back down, shielding his eyes, and looks out his window.
I feel hurt he’s ignoring me, but he did this to us. I’ve told him that I’m not here for him. I even turned my face away from his kiss.
Hearing Jasmine and Quill kissing in the front, and their moans, I focus on them instead. “Yeah, um, guys, are we going to be leaving anytime soon? Or we gonna sit here all day?”
Jasmine laughs and breaks the kiss, looking over her shoulder at me and winking. “Sorry.”
I smile back at her and then focus my attention to outside my window, fighting my body’s desire to straddle Hawke’s lap and take what I want from him.