Hawke
Hearing the door to Luisa’s room open, I look up and see a nurse walking in. I rub my eyes with the heels of my palms, and glance at my watch. It’s 7:30 a.m., too early for this shit. The nurse approaches, and is about to speak when I quickly raise my finger to my lips to let her know to keep quiet. Luisa needs all the rest she can get. The nurse smiles, and picks up a clipboard and begins to write notes, looking at the monitor attached to Luisa. Once she’s done she pops the clipboard back on the side of the wall, and walks out the room.
Luisa is fast asleep and nestled into my side. She’s so beautiful, even while she’s sleeping, long eyelashes fanning her cheeks, her full lips slightly open as she takes her breaths. When she woke up yesterday I was so desperate to tell her about the baby, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just come out and say she’s having our baby when she’d just woken up from being in a coma. Fuck, no one knows about the baby besides Quill. I told him to keep it hushed for now, till I tell Luisa, but when Jasmine’s gaze meets mine, she has this mischievous look on her face, like she knows. It wouldn’t surprise me, that even though I told Quill not to mention the baby to anyone, he has. When it comes to Jasmine, there’s no holding back for Quill.
I’m starting to get it. Looking down at Luisa’s sleeping figure, a knot forms in my gut. She could have been killed under my protection. I don’t know how, but I’m going to make it up to her. She deserves to be happy, and I want to be the guy to give her everything she deserves.
I called St. Jude’s, the rehab centre, yesterday, and they tell me Josie is doing well. She’s actually going through with it, sticking with the program. According to the doctor I spoke to she’s been joining all the classes, and has passed through the hardest part of the program. I’m glad she’s following through and getting the help she deserves, and with Santana and his men dead, they won’t be out there trying to kill her.
Luisa begins to stir, and not able to control myself any longer, I lean in and kiss her lips. Her eyes fly open and for a moment I see panic in them, but they soften when she realizes it’s me.
“Morning, baby. How are you feeling?”
“Sore,” she admits, squinting as her eyes adjust to the sunlight coming through the window.
“I know, baby.” I kiss the top of her head. “Do you want me to call the nurse?”
She stretches, and shakes her head. “No, I like being close to you. Just us.”
Her words are like music to my ears. After everything she’s been through because of me, she still wants me.
“Lu, listen. I need you to know that I never meant for you to get hurt. The….”
My words cease when she places her finger against my lips, and whispers, “It’s over. You need to stop feeling guilty, Hawke. I love you, and what I did that night was to protect my friend. What did they want, anyway? Why did they blow up the club and want to kill you?”
I sigh and run my hand down the back of my neck. I scratch my chin, then tell her the story, starting from when I got the call from Santana at Quill and Jasmine’s wedding.
All the while I’m explaining things to her, her eyes widen gradually in shock. “That’s why you went to her, isn’t it? Why you left the wedding? To help Josie.”
“That’s right, baby.” I tuck her hair behind her ear. “I just couldn’t let them kill her because of the club. As much as she’s hurt me in the past, she still meant something to me once upon a time. She didn’t deserve to die. So I had to leave. As much as it killed me to leave you there, I knew you’d be fine.” I grasp Luisa’s face between my hands to gain her full attention. “You are the one I love. You are the one that I want a future with, no one else.”
“A future?” she says frowning.
I move in closer, so my lips are now only a mere hairsbreadth away from hers. “That’s right, a future with you and….”
She pulls her head back. “And what?”
“There’s something you need to know, baby,” I begin to explain, pulling her face in closer to mine again. “But promise me you’re not going to freak out.”
“What is it? You’re scaring me, Hawke,” she says covering my hands with hers.
I feel a lump form in my throat, and when I speak I’m filled with so much emotion my voice breaks. “You’re pregnant, we’re going to have a baby.”
Luisa’s eyes widen again, filling with unshed tears. “No,” she says shaking her head. “I can’t be, I mean… we didn’t plan this. We were careful. How did…? When did…?”
“I don’t know how, baby, or when. All I do know is that you’ve got our baby growing inside of you, and I’m fucking thrilled.” My heart is beating at double speed.
Tears fall from Luisa’s eyes, and I lean in and kiss each of them, either side of her face. I cup the back of her neck and kiss her lips tenderly, softly, showing her how much I love her with each one.
“I love you so much,” she says against my lips, and those words do something to me. I run my hands through her hair and tighten my hold, pulling her head back so I can have better access to her mouth. I devour it—kissing, sucking, tangling my tongue with hers. Feeling as if I can’t get close enough to her, I reach around her back and pull her in closer to me. I’ve missed her so fucking much. Need her, want her, but I have to be gentle.
Just as I’m about to pull back, she brings her hands up to my face and holds me captive to her kiss. Her tongue delves inside my mouth, and I moan when she grabs my hand and places it on her breast. I squeeze, rubbing my thumb over her nipple, and it hardens instantly. Her hospital gown is loose around her neck, so I pull it down and squeeze her bare breast in my hand, loving how it fits perfectly. My lips make their way down her neck, my tongue leaving a wet trail, and reach her breast. Taking her pink nipple into my mouth, I groan as I lick over the peak, and begin to suck. But it’s not enough; it’s never enough when it comes to Lu.
Her moans and gasps make me harden instantly, to the point I’m gonna come in my jeans. Her hands fly to my head and she runs her fingers through my hair. I feel pressure at the back, letting me know she wants me even closer. Before I lose total control and someone walks in on us, I make my way back up her neck to her lips, hearing her sound of disapproval when I cover her breast back up.
“Why did you stop?” she says, breathless.
“Baby, I want you so fucking much, believe me. I wanna fuck you so hard you won’t know where my cock starts and ends.”
“So do it?” she says, licking her moist lips, swollen from our kisses.
“Don’t fucking tempt me, Lu. I don’t want to hurt you. And someone could walk in any minute.”
“Since when do you care if someone catches us?”
“Since it’s been over two weeks since I’ve had you, and when I fuck you the next time, I don’t want you to cover up your screams. Because, baby, I will have you screaming.” I smirk, her intake of breath letting me know she wants me just as much as I want her. “Plus, I’ll hurt you. You’re sore.”
“I can take it.” She pouts.
“I know you can, baby,” I reply, smiling and cupping her cheek. Her eyes glaze over, her mind seeming to drift somewhere, and she begins to chew on her bottom lip.
“Hey, what is it?” I pull her chin up, forcing her to look at me.
“It’s just… are you sure I’m pregnant? I mean, I don’t feel different. Shouldn’t I feel different? When Jazz was pregnant she was always sick, and I feel normal. I mean, aside from my body feeling sore from the bullet… but I just don’t feel pregnant.” Her hand travels to her stomach, and she looks down at it.
“Lu, it’s early days yet. The doctor said that once you’re better, you can get an ultrasound done. They’ll be able to tell from that how far along you are.”
She suddenly widens her eyes. “We’re having a baby? Hawke, we’re having a baby! Oh my God, am I ready to be a mom? I mean, I have a small apartment, and my job. Oh… my job. I love working at Je t’aime, I don’t want to stop. Oh God, money, doesn’t it cost a lot of money to have a baby?”
I begin to laugh. Luisa’s face shoots up to mine, and she scowls at me. “What’s so funny?”
“You, babe,” I say, continuing to laugh. “You need to calm down. I’ll look after you and the baby, you don’t need to worry about anything. I got you.”
“You got me? What does that mean?”
“It means what it means. I‘ll make sure you and the baby have whatever you need. You want a house? We’ll get a house. You want to work? Then work. You want a new car, I’ll get you a new car. You need cash, you’ll get it. I’ve got you.”
“We’ll get a house?” she repeats, her voice pitching on the first word.
I smirk, and lean in and kiss her briefly, not trusting myself. I tap my finger on her nose. “It’s all taken care of.”
Just as she’s about to question my words, someone walks in with her breakfast. Her eyes light up when she sees the food, and I hear her stomach rumble. “Hungry, baby?”
“Famished.”