Luisa
Waking to the sun cascading through my bedroom window, I smile and reach my hand over, feeling the cool sheets beside me. He’s gone. I push myself up off the mattress and sit up, looking around my room. Relief washes through me when my eyes focus on Hawke’s clothes, still in a heap on the floor, and I realize that he hasn’t left. I don’t know why I have this feeling, like something’s not right, but I can’t shake it off. We never got to discuss where he was last night, and practically all was forgotten when he threw me up against the wall and had his way with me. Do you blame a girl?
Getting out of bed, I throw on Hawke’s T-shirt and make my way out of the bedroom. I can hear whispers coming from the kitchen and I stop and lean against the wall, traveling my eyes over Hawke as he drinks his coffee. His rippled back is facing me, and his white boxers are low on his hips, showing off his magnificent body. Smiling to myself, I begin to walk quietly toward him with the intention to have those boxers off in no time. I freeze midstep when I hear him say, “Nah, man, she hasn’t asked. She doesn’t need to know about what happened last night with Josie, and there’s no need to bring it up.” There’s a pause, which I’m assuming is because the person on the other line is talking. “Sure, man, I’ll be at the club soon. I’ll see you then.”
I quietly tiptoe back to my room and enter the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. My heart’s beating at a million miles an hour and I sit down on the edge of the tub, trying to calm myself down. He mentioned Josie, what’s he hiding from me? Is he seeing someone else?
My thoughts are brought back to the present when a quick knock on the door sounds. “Hey, babe, you in there?”
“I’ll be out in a minute?” I reply and quickly get up from the tub and make my way to the sink, washing my face with water. I look into the mirror and tears begin to fall. Don’t do this, Lu, get it together. If I find out that he’s cheating on me, I don’t know what I will do. I’ve been there before with Russell, I don’t think my heart can handle it again.
Russell is my ex. I met him online, and never in a million years would I have thought I would fall for a guy I’d never met in person. But we hit it off right away. We’d been in contact for five months when one day, out of the blue, Russell announced he was coming to New York to be with me. He confessed he couldn’t take the long-distance-relationship thing anymore, and I couldn’t have been happier. I was so excited to finally be able to see him in person. I’d fallen quick and hard for Russell.
Things were good for a while, Russell got a job as a surfing instructor training kids, and life with him was coming together. We were together a year when Russell came home from work one day and announced he was leaving me. Just like that! Said he’d met someone else, and that he was sorry things didn’t work out between us. I was devastated, so deeply in love with him I didn’t see it coming. After that I began to stalk him, had to know who he left me for. What a big mistake that was. Turned out she was this beautiful woman, long blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous body. She looked like a Barbie doll.
Getting over Russell wasn’t easy, and I’m glad I had Jasmine with me to help get me through it. I don’t think I could take it again if I found out Hawke was cheating on me.
“Babe, you gonna come out, or what? I made you some coffee.”
I quickly wipe my face with the towel and open the door. Hawke’s standing there with my coffee in hand, and a big smile.
“Morning, baby,” he greets me, and leans in and gently kisses me on the lips before handing me my coffee. It takes everything in me not to crumble and ask him who the fuck Josie is, but I don’t. I need to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him tell me.
I take a sip of my coffee and smile back at him. “That’s good.”
Still smiling, Hawke crosses his arms over his chest. His muscles flex and I travel my gaze over him. His blond hair is in a messy bun now, white boxers still sitting low on his hips. He looks yummy. He has this indentation thing going on that I love so much, on each side of his hips, and his happy trail begins at his belly button and disappears under his boxers. My fingers itch to pull them down but I hear a growl come from him, and my eyes snap up to his. He unfolds his arms and grasps the back of my head, smashing his lips to mine. My coffee nearly spills over but I control it as my mouth opens to his, letting him know I’m willing to take all he has to give me. I taste his unique flavor along with coffee, and a moan escapes my lips when his tongue tangles with mine.
Just as I’m about to inch closer so I can feel his body against me, he withdraws and holds my face between his hands. “Babe, as much as I wanna take this further, I can’t. I have church in an hour.”
I frown. My head is screaming. Is he lying? Does he really have church, or is he seeing this Josie? I so desperately want to ask him who she is, but I don’t.
“What’s going on at the club?” I ask instead as I take a sip of my coffee, trying to control my disappointment.
“Quill called to tell me he’s calling church. Just club business, babe, nothing for you to worry about.” He picks up his clothes from the floor, kissing my forehead as he pushes past to enter the bathroom. I hear the shower going and it takes everything in me not to follow him in there.
I’m about to say fuck it and tear his T-Shirt off and join him, when I hear a buzzing sound. At first I think it’s my phone, but when I walk to the dresser I can see it’s Hawke’s. He must have placed it there when I was in the bathroom.
The light on the phone flashes to announce a text message, and my finger hovers over the Open Message button. Should I? I’m contemplating reading it. I can still hear the shower so I take a deep breath and quickly do it.
My heart stops when the sender is an unknown number. I quickly read what follows.
“Reece, I just wanted to thank you for last night, it means so much to me that you still care. I want you to know that I will always love you and I just hope that one day you will forgive me. Always yours, Josie.”
I drop the phone on the dresser and move over to my bed, sinking onto it. This message confirms that Hawke was with this Josie woman last night, and the fact she calls him Reece makes me think she knows him on a personal level. My eyes burn with unshed tears as I try desperately to hold them in. Hawke can’t know that I’ve seen the message. She said that he still cares. What does all this mean? Is Josie an ex-girlfriend? Or is he seeing her behind my back? All these uncertainties are driving me insane.
I hear the shower switch off, and not long after Hawke comes out, dressed and with his wet hair in a neat bun. I watch as he puts on his socks and boots, and places his cut on. I get up from the bed and walk over to my dresser, getting some underwear out of a drawer, ready for my shower. I feel Hawke’s arms wrap around me, and the smell of soap and shampoo surround me.
“Have to go, baby,” he whispers in my ear, and I swallow hard, feeling a burn at the back of my throat from tears threatening to appear.
I take in a deep breath and turn to face him, plastering on a smile, concealing the hurt I feel.
Placing his fingers under my chin, he forces my gaze to him. “You okay, babe? Something on your mind?” His eyes show warmth and concern.
I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him forward for a kiss. His warm lips touch mine and I slide my hands to his face, controlling the kiss, loving the way his mouth takes over in a frenzy of need. I can feel his erection on my thigh, and wetness pools in my center. God, I’m insatiable.
Once again Hawke pulls back, grinning down at me. “Babe, I gotta go. Quill will have my balls if I’m late.”
I give him a weak smile, and he rubs his thumb over my bottom lip before moving to the dresser, grabbing his phone, and walking out of the bedroom. I don’t know how I get the nerve, but I can’t let him go, knowing he’s hiding something from me. “Where were you last night?” I ask, bringing Hawke to a standstill.
He stops and turns to face me, hands on his hips. “What do you mean? I was at Quill’s bachelor party.”
“Yeah, I know that, but where were you when they turned up to Beats?”
Hawke eyes narrow and he looks down at the floor. I feel the breath leave my lungs in anticipation of his next words. He looks back up at me and I sense something in his stare. Pain? I just can’t put my finger on it.
“Babe”—he strides toward me—“I had club business. Quill needed something done and asked me to take care of it, that’s all.” He stops in front of me, placing my loose hair behind my ear. “Hey, look at me,” he says in a low tone, and I look up from my feet and into his eyes. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what we have. You got me, babe?” He cups my cheek and I nod my head, not able to speak. Leaning in, he gives me one last peck on my lips. “Now, I need to go. I’ll call you later on and we can go out for dinner. That okay by you?”
“Sure,” I reply rubbing his chest. “I’ll see you tonight.”
He grins, showing off his straight white teeth, and walks down the hallway, slamming my front door behind him. I hear the rumble of his motorcycle as he takes his leave, and I sink to the floor and let the floodgates open. That’s the first time Hawke has lied to me.