I awoke the next morning, snuggled in Connor’s arms. He was holding me tight as my head rested on his chest. I opened my eyes and, for the first time in my life, I felt peace and serenity. He made me feel whole and safe like I’d never felt before. We made love three times last night, and it was the most beautiful experience that I’d ever had. Nothing like when I was with Kyle. I felt passion and love with Connor; it was like we couldn’t get enough of each other.
We finally had our moment, and now, I faced a new problem. I had a secret that could destroy this man who finally gave himself to me.
“Good morning, baby,” Connor said as he kissed me on the head.
I looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
“I slept great. How about you?” he asked.
I lightly ran my finger around his muscular chest. “Yes, I did, but someone wore me out.”
He smiled as I moved up closer to his face, covering my mouth with my hand. “I have morning breath.”
He laughed and, before I knew it, I was lying flat on my back with him on top of me.
“I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me one bit.”
I looked over at the clock. “Look at the time. We need to get out of here or we’ll never make it to the funeral on time.”
Connor slid off me, got out of bed, and held his hand out. “It looks like we’ll have to shower together to save time.”
I bit my bottom lip as I took his hand, and we walked to the bathroom.
I would have preferred the water a little hotter, but with what we were doing, I was getting hot enough. He pinned my arms against the shower wall and took me from behind, kissing my neck as he moved in and out of me. He let go of my arms as he cupped each breast in his hands, rubbing and feeling them as deep groans came from the back of his throat. He moved flawlessly and had me ready to come the minute he touched me.
“Are you ready, Elle?” he panted.
I moaned with each deep thrust. “Yes, come with me, Connor,” I begged. The words were enough for him as his sexy moans grew louder. He pushed himself harder into me, and I felt his warmth fill my insides. He held me tight as we both sank to the shower floor and sat there in pure bliss.
Once we were able to get ourselves out of the shower, we dressed, and I sat on the bed for a moment as I was starting to feel a little weak and tired.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Connor asked as he stood over me.
I smiled to mask what I was actually feeling.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just sitting here, wishing we could spend another night in this beautiful hotel room.”
He took my hand and helped me up. “Don’t you worry, there will be plenty beautiful hotel rooms in our future.”
I smiled as he used the word “future,” which to me meant a relationship.
What had I done? I needed to tell him something, but I couldn’t, not now. Once we got back to New York, I’d tell him everything and watch his perfect heart break. Tears started to fill my eyes as he looked at me.
“Ellery, what’s wrong? Why do you look like you’re going to cry?” He wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m just so happy, that’s all. You’ve made me so happy.”
“You’ve made me happy too, baby. I can’t even tell you how much.”
He kissed me and grabbed our suitcases as we headed back on the road to Michigan. I followed behind him, trying to fight back the tears.
We were driving and deciding whose music to listen to. He liked mostly classic rock, and I was more of a pop, contemporary kind of girl, so we compromised and took turns listening to each other’s music. I would eventually get him over to my side of music, but that was going to take some work.
His phone was sitting between us on the console, and it rang. I glanced over and saw Ashlyn’s name appear. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots. I felt sick, and I started to sweat. There was no way in fucking hell he was going to continue to talk to her or see her. He pressed ignore and kept looking straight ahead at the road. She was someone that I needed to know about, and it wasn’t going to be painless, but Connor was mine now, and he was going to have to tell me the truth.
I took in a deep breath. “Who is she, Connor?” I reached over and turned off the radio.
He heavily sighed. “I knew you were going to ask me.”
“Okay, then you must tell me about her if we’re going to move forward.”
He took my hand and held it up to his lips. “I don’t want to talk about her now, Ellery. This isn’t the right time or place to do that.”
“Fine, I’ll wait, and we’ll discuss her later. But whatever you tell me will be okay because things with us are different now, and we’re putting all our baggage in the past, right?”
He looked over at me and smiled. “You bet we are.”
“I have a question for you,” I said as I took the wrapper off my Twix bar. “Denny told me that you’ve been different since you met me. Is that true?”
He rolled his eyes. “Denny shouldn’t be saying things like that, but it’s true. I was intrigued by you the minute I saw you in my kitchen. When I woke up and heard someone making a lot of noise, I walked downstairs to yell at whoever it was for being so loud. Imagine my surprise when I saw this beautiful stranger standing there, making coffee.”
“Yes, but you yelled at me about your rules.”
He shrugged. “Well, I thought that I’d brought you home from the club. I’m sorry about that.”
I smacked his arm. He smiled as he looked at the road ahead.
“When you told me what you did for me and gave me quite the attitude, it was that moment I knew I couldn’t let you walk out of my life. Denny knew it too because I kept talking about you without realizing it.” I laughed and reached over to kiss his cheek, but instead I shoved the Twix bar in his mouth.
We arrived in Michigan, and I grew nervous to be back to a place that harbored such bad memories. Connor must have sensed it by my reaction. When I saw the “Welcome to Michigan” sign, he grabbed my hand and held it tight. My phone rang, and it was Peyton calling.
“Hi, Peyton,” I answered.
“Oh my God, Elle, I just had to tell you about my fantastical date with Dr. Hottie last night.”
I started to laugh. “So, did you manage to get him to ask you out?” I put her on speaker so Connor could hear.
“No, I asked him out, and we went to dinner, then to a club, and back to his place. Elle, he was phenomenal. He fucks like no one ever has before.” Connor looked at me and started laughing.
“Wow, Peyton, that’s great.” I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously, Elle, he made me do things that I never thought of doing before and, shit, is he big. I was worried when I saw it that it wouldn’t fit inside me. Elle, I got nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to experience this hot man.”
Connor’s mouth dropped, as he was in shock by Peyton’s openness. I was used to it, so it didn’t faze me.
“Peyton, sweetie, I have you on speaker, and Connor heard every word you just said.”
“So, I have nothing to hide. Maybe you two should try it. Live a little, Connor. Take that girl to bed and show her your sexiness.” I wanted to die right there in the leather seat of Connor’s Range Rover.
He unexpectedly shouted, “I already did, and she was amazing. She made me do things to her that even shocked me.”
I hit him on the arm and shot him a look.
“Woot! You go, girl! We’ll swap notes when you get back. I have to go. Dr. Hottie is summoning me back to bed.” She giggled.
I hung up and shook my head at him. “How could you tell her that?”
“Oh, please, love. Like you haven’t embarrassed me before.”
I couldn’t argue with that, especially with the bartender at the restaurant and then the bellhop. I laughed and looked out the window at the all too familiar place I was heading to.
We pulled into the funeral home, and instantly, my stomach felt sick. I got out of the car and took a deep breath.
“This is the same funeral home where we held the services for my mother and father,” I said as I stood in front of it.
Connor put his arm around me. “You don’t have to do this. You can call your cousin and tell her you got sick or something.”
“No, that’s the coward’s way out. I can’t escape reality. Besides, I have you with me.”
As we walked through the doors, my cousin, Debbie, saw me and swiftly walked towards me. We hugged each other tight.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Debbie.”
She started to cry on my shoulder. “I know, and I’m sorry for you too. I know they were like your surrogate parents growing up. What happened?” she asked as she pointed to my stitches.
“It’s no big deal. I just fell and hit my head.”
I looked over at Connor. “Debbie, this is my friend, Connor.”
She shook his hand and then whispered to me, “I heard you and Kyle broke up. I’m sorry.”
I smiled. “I’m not, but thank you anyway.”
She led us to the room where my aunt and uncle lay in their beautiful wooden caskets. I walked over and kneeled down in front of them, praying to God to keep them safe. Connor stood behind me with his hands clutching my shoulders. I stood up and made my way through the crowd, saying hi to old friends and making small conversation with distant family. I could hear the whispers of people talking about my attempted suicide seven years ago. I could hear the pity in their voices. The whispers went on about my dad and how he was an alcoholic and couldn’t stop drinking enough to raise his only daughter. They went on to say that if my mother was alive, I wouldn’t have tried to take my life. I had become the center of attention at someone’s funeral, and I was starting to get pissed. Connor overheard the soft talk and he put his arm around me.
“Don’t listen to them. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
I took in a deep breath, but I couldn’t control myself any longer when I heard a woman say, “She’s the one who tried to commit suicide to save herself from her alcoholic father. He was too wrapped up in the death of her mother to even realize she existed. She should have been taken away from him and then she wouldn’t have tried to—”
Before she could finish her sentence, I rudely interrupted her. “Who the fuck do you think you are, talking about my father and family like that?!”
I pushed my wrists in her face. “See the scars? That’s right, take a good look at them. It wouldn’t have mattered if they took me away or not. They would still be there.”
The whole room was standing in silence, staring at me. Connor grabbed my hand. “Come on, baby. Let’s go. It’s not worth it.” I turned as he led me out of the funeral home. The cold air cooled my burning skin.
“I must say, you can put on quite a show.” Connor smiled to lighten my mood.
“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t take any more. I knew this was going to happen if I came back here.”
He held me and whispered, “It's okay. You’ve said your goodbyes to your aunt and uncle, you told off a few people, and now we can go. Unless you want to stay?”
I shook my head. “No. Let’s get out of here.”