I threw myself on the bed I’d grown to love as Connor set my bags down in the corner.
“I’m going out tonight. If you need anything, you’re welcome to help yourself.”
I looked at him and gave half a smile. “Thanks.”
He walked out and shut the door. Did he just make it a point to tell me he was going out? I could feel the burning and the rage rev up in my body. Jealousy was setting in. This wasn’t a good idea, but if it got too unbearable staying with him, I would pack up and leave.
I didn’t have much of an appetite and I was tired, so I decided to turn in early. I was woken up by the sudden feeling of nausea that overtook my body. I looked at the clock. It was two a.m. I flew out of bed and into the bathroom that was directly across the hall. Thank God I made it, as I started to vomit uncontrollably. Here we go. I knew it wouldn’t take long; it didn’t the last time. As I leaned over with my head in the toilet, I heard the door slowly open.
“Ellery,” I heard Connor say as he grabbed my hair and held it back.
I didn’t want him to see me like this. Moving here wasn’t a good thing to do, and now I regretted it.
“Get out of here, Connor. Please, just go.”
He knelt down beside me as he held my hair. “I’m not going anywhere until you’re back in bed.”
I threw up a few more times – mostly dry heaving – as he walked to the sink and wet a cloth with tepid water. He folded it up and put it on my head. I quickly grabbed it out of his hand. I managed to get up and take small steps towards the door. I was so weak that I wanted to collapse right on the marble floor. Connor lightly took hold of my arm and helped me into bed. He pulled the covers over me and, as he turned to walk away, I grabbed his hand. He turned around and looked at me.
“This is nothing. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, Mr. Black.”
He stared at me without saying a word, then walked out the door, leaving it open a crack. I was too exhausted to think of anything. I just wanted to sleep peacefully.
***
I opened one eye at the sunlight peeking through the curtains that hung on the windows. I stretched and rolled over on my side, taking in the view of the city that stood outside my window. So much for the anti-nausea meds Nurse Bailey fed me. I heard the door slightly open.
“Ellery, are you awake?” I heard his voice whisper.
I rolled over and looked at him standing there in his dark jeans and a black cotton button-down shirt that he left un-tucked. His hair was messy and damp, but in that sexy way that made me ache for him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked from the doorway.
I sat up on the edge of the bed. “I’m feeling okay at the moment. I think I’ll take a shower.”
His eyes stared into me as if he wanted to reach out and touch me.
“When you’re done, come downstairs and Claire will make you some breakfast.”
I got out of bed and opened my bag to dig out my clothes for the day. “Who’s Claire?” I asked.
“She’s my housekeeper.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you had a housekeeper; you never mentioned her.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “The opportunity never came up, I guess.”
I walked past without even looking at him. I walked into the bathroom as he followed me and stood in the doorway.
“I’m going to the office to do some work. I’ll be home later.”
I kept my back to him as I turned on the shower. “Okay. See you later.”
My words were flat with no emotion. I climbed in the shower and sat on the floor. I curled myself into a ball and cried.
After my shower, I walked down to the kitchen. “You must be our new house guest. Ellery, right?” she asked as she walked over and hugged me.
I greeted her warmly. “Yes, and you must be Claire?”
“I sure am, honey. Now, sit down and tell me what you’d like me to make you.”
Claire was a breath of fresh air in this house. She was an older woman with brown hair that sat just above her shoulders. Her smile was as warm as her deep brown eyes that lit up when she saw me. Maybe she was happy to have another female in the house. I sat at the island as she put a cup of peppermint tea in front of me.
“Drink up; it will soothe your stomach.” I took a small sip and set the cup down.
“Mr. Black told me that you were sick last night, so how about you start with some toast and scrambled eggs?”
I nodded my head. I was curious as to how much she knew about me and our situation, so I asked an obvious question.
“What else did Mr. Black tell you?”
She smiled as she put the bread in the toaster. “He only tells me what I need to know. Mr. Black is a very private person. He says you’re a friend, and he wanted to help you. He’s a very generous man.”
I rolled my eyes. If the chemo didn’t kill me, then staying here with the man whose life I pretty much ruined would.
“Ah, I see you two have met,” Connor said as he stepped into the kitchen.
“I thought you left,” I said with an “I don’t like you very much right now” attitude.
“I had to finish up some computer work here first, but don’t worry, I’ll be leaving soon.”
Claire eyed me and then looked at Connor as he sat over at the table.
“Here, honey, try to eat something. You’ll feel better if you do.”
I saw Connor look over at me out of the corner of my eye. I picked up the fork and started to eat some eggs. The food was starting to help a bit, or maybe it was the tea. Who knows.
Connor finished his coffee and walked over to me. “I’m leaving now, so if you need anything, Claire will be here all day.”
I didn’t look at him as I waved my hand.
“This is going to be more difficult than I thought,” he mumbled as he left the kitchen.
I didn’t know if he meant for me to hear it or not, but I did, and it pissed me off.
Claire studied me for a moment. “Calm down, honey. It’s not worth getting upset over.”
I decided that if I was going to stay here, Claire had a right to know what happened between me and Connor. I told her everything.
She sat down next to me, holding her coffee cup. “I figured something was going on between the two of you. You must have been the reason why Mr. Black was always in a good mood and smiling all the time not that long ago.”
She saw the look on my face and took my hand. She pushed back my sleeve and looked at my wrist, and then took my other hand and did the same. “Does he know about this?”
I shook my head. “No, but he will soon enough. It’s not something that I can keep hidden for long.”
Claire smiled and patted my hand.
I grabbed my coat and stepped outside. The air was a little warmer than it had been. The sun was shining brightly, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was a perfect October day. I needed to get lost in myself, so I decided to take a walk to Central Park. I needed to be alone, and what better place to think about how much my life sucked at the moment than in the park. I made my way to the Conservatory Garden and found a spot in the middle of the grass. I laid the blanket on the soft grass and sat down with my knees to my chest. My phone started to ring; it was Connor. Someone must have tipped him off that I escaped. I hit ignore. I figured he would go to my apartment first, then probably to the art gallery or soup kitchen. He’d eventually figure out where I was, so I wasn’t worried, and I honestly didn’t care. I inhaled through my nose, taking in the mild October air. I studied the flowers that were around me, for soon they would be gone.
I laid myself down on my back and stared up at the sky. I had a little talk with God and asked him to give me the strength to endure this process all over again. Connor kept calling me, so I turned my phone off. As I asked God for a sign to let me know he would help me through this, I felt a tiny drop of rain fall on my cheek. That was good enough for me until a few clouds rolled in, and it started to pour—so much for my perfect October day. I lay there staring up at the sky that was falling down upon me. I wanted so badly for the rain to wash away my illness and my fears. I continued to lay there in my delusional state until I heard a familiar voice call my name.
“Ellery, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy?!”
I looked at him as he was walking towards me, holding an umbrella.
“Aren’t you the crazy one for coming out here after me?!”
I saw his jaw tighten as he approached me. “Look at you, you’re soaked. Get up now before you get sick.”
I laughed. “I’m already sick, Connor. What’s the difference?”
He stared down at me with a strange look on his face and did something I never thought Connor Black would do. He laid himself down beside me and looked up at the sky. I looked over at him as he struggled to keep his eyes open as the rain pelted him in the face. A small smile crossed my lips.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked as he turned and looked at me.
“Because I can lie here and no one will know I’m crying.”
He looked at me for a moment and then back up at the falling rain. We lay there and didn’t speak a word. Connor put his hand on top of mine, and that was all the words we needed. Both of us were soaked, and I was starting to get cold. I sat up on my elbows.
“I think it’s time to go.”
He looked over at me and smiled. “Good, because I can’t stand being wet like this.”
I softly laughed as we both got up and started walking out of the park. I suddenly stopped and turned the other way to some nearby bushes. I bent down as the nausea set in, and I began to vomit. Connor waited for me to finish as he put his arms under my legs, picked me up, and carried me to the car. That was all I needed to feel safe again.
He carried me up to the penthouse and into the bedroom. He started to help me undress, but I stopped him.
“I’m fine. You need to get out of those wet clothes. Please go change. I’m going to take a hot bath.”
“Do you feel well enough to take a bath by yourself?”
I shot him a look. “If I say no, does that mean you’ll get in with me?”
He looked down. “Ellery.”
I saw the look on his face, and it was one of pain. It was almost the same look as the day in the hotel room.
“I was only kidding, Connor. Now, get out of here and go change.”
He walked out and left me standing there, feeling like an idiot. I didn’t make it to the bathtub. I put on my nightshirt and robe and collapsed onto the bed.