I was sitting at my desk, signing some contracts when I received a call from Denny.
“Denny, what’s up?”
“I think you should know that Ellery left the penthouse,” he said.
“What the hell do you mean she left the penthouse?!” I yelled.
“Claire went to check on her, and she was gone. Not gone as in moved out, but gone like she went somewhere.”
“Shit, she shouldn’t be going out as she still isn’t feeling well. Thanks, Denny. I’ll find her.”
I hung up and dialed Ellery’s number. After a few rings it, went to voicemail. I hung up and dialed again; it went to voicemail. I sighed as I got up from my chair and headed out of the office to find her. Damn her. Why does she have to be so difficult? I don’t get what goes on in that stubborn head of hers.
I checked her apartment, but she wasn’t there. I decided to check the soup kitchen, maybe she stopped there for a visit. She wasn’t at the soup kitchen, so I got back in the Range Rover and put my forehead on the steering wheel. I was desperately trying to figure out where she could have gone. The clouds in the sky were rolling in, and it looked like it was going to rain. Then it hit me; I bet she went to Central Park. As I was on my way to Central Park, it started to rain. I parked, grabbed the black umbrella, and walked to the Conservatory Gardens. The rain started pouring down hard. From a distance, I saw a blanket spread out in the middle of a grassy area, and as I approached it, I saw Ellery lying down and looking up at the sky as the rain fell down upon her.
“Ellery, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy?!” I yelled from a distance.
“Aren’t you the crazy one for coming out here after me?!” She yelled back.
My jaw tightened at her smart ass remark. “Look at you, you’re soaked; get up now before you get sick.”
“I’m already sick, Connor. What’s the difference?” she laughed.
I stood there and stared down at her. It hit me hard when she said she was already sick. She was scared and living life the way she wanted, just in case the day came that she couldn’t anymore. I took in a deep breath and laid myself down on the soaked blanket next to her, staring up at the sky, trying to see what Ellery sees. She looked over at me, and from the corner of my eye, I saw a small smile escape her lips.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked as I turned and looked at her.
“Because I can lay here and no one will know I’m crying,” she said, looking up at the sky.
I felt a pain in my heart when she said that. She was out here, in the pouring rain, to mask the tears that plagued her face. She was trying to put on a brave front, but I knew she was torn apart inside. I reached over and put my hand on top of hers. She didn’t look at me. We just laid there, staring up at the sky without saying a word. We didn’t need words. Holding her hand was all the both of us needed. After a while, Ellery sat up on her elbows and said she was cold and ready to go. We stood up. I grabbed the rain soaked blanket and opened the umbrella as we started to head out of Central Park. All of a sudden, Ellery turned the other way and started to vomit in some nearby bushes. I stood behind her until she was finished. I handed her the corner of the blanket so she could wipe her mouth. I asked her to hold the umbrella as I picked her up in my arms and carried her to the Range Rover. We arrived back at the penthouse, but she still wasn’t feeling well, so I carried her to the bedroom. She told me she was going to take a bath and then lay down for a while. I took a quick shower to warm up and changed into some dry clothes. I went downstairs to talk to Claire and Denny.
“I hope you weren’t too hard on her, Connor,” Denny said.
“I can’t even explain how I felt when I saw her laying in the middle of Central Park in the pouring rain. I wasn’t hard on her at all. She just wanted to be alone for a while,” I said as I sat down at the table for dinner.
Denny left to go home for the night, and Claire was cleaning the kitchen when my cell phone rang, and a familiar number appeared.
“Hello, Connor Black here.”
“Connor, Peyton here,” she laughed.
“Hey, Peyton, what’s up?” I asked as I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t want you to worry, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of Ellery for two days. Do you know anything?”
“Ellery started her chemotherapy treatment yesterday morning, and she’s staying with me.”
“WHAT?!” she screamed into the phone. “She didn’t tell me anything about starting her chemo treatments so soon. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, and are the two of you back together or something?”
“I’m helping Ellery out as a friend. She doesn’t have anyone else,” I said.
“Excuse me, Connor, but I didn’t know Ellery was starting her treatment yesterday. I never would have left if I’d known.”
“I’m sorry she didn’t tell you, but she probably didn’t want to ruin your vacation with Henry.”
“Well, sit tight, Connor Black, because I’m coming straight from the airport and kicking your ass. You should have called me and told me. Put her on the phone so I can speak to her.”
“Peyton, she’s sleeping right now, and I don’t want to wake her up. She needs her rest.”
“Fine, tell her to call me tomorrow. I was supposed to be coming back tonight, but my flight was cancelled, so I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Peyton. Have a safe flight,” I said.
I hung up the phone and heard noises coming from upstairs. I stepped out of my office and stood next to the staircase as I thought I was hearing things. It sounded like whimpering. At that moment, I realized it was Ellery. I ran up the stairs, skipping one step in between, and as I reached the top, I saw Ellery lying on the floor, curled up in a ball, and shaking.
“Ellery, my god, what’s wrong?” I said as I knelt down beside her.
“Don’t touch me; it hurts,” she cried as she put her hand up to me.
I didn’t know what to do. Seeing her lying there like that, crying and in so much pain, was killing me. I felt helpless. I yelled for Claire and told her to call the nurse to get her over here immediately. Ellery then told me to pick her up and get it over with. I asked her if she was sure, and she nodded her head. I was so afraid to touch her; I didn’t want to hurt her. I stood up and bent over, picking her up slowly from the floor. I flinched as she screamed when I picked her up. I carried her back to the bedroom and gently laid her down.
“The nurse will be here soon; she’ll help you,” I said as I gently brushed the hair away from her face.
She looked at me and cried. “I’m so sorry, Connor. I never wanted you to see me like this.”
At that moment, when she said those words, it finally hit me why she didn’t tell me about her illness, and why she’s been so angry towards me. She knew what was going to happen, and she didn’t want me seeing her like this. She was trying to protect me and spare me the pain of having to go through it with her. I knelt down beside the bed and lightly touched her hand.
“You have nothing to be sorry for; I’m the one who’s sorry. It kills me to see you in such pain,” I said as a single tear fell down my cheek. She reached up and wiped my tear with her thumb. I lightly took a hold of her wrist and looked at my name that was inked on it. I was just about to ask her about it when the nurse came in. She gave her a shot of morphine and asked me if she could talk to me in the hallway. After a brief conversation, I walked back into the bedroom and over to the other side of the bed. I sat up with my back against the headboard and looked at Ellery as she turned on her side to face me.
“Has the shot helped?” I asked her as I stroked her beautiful, blonde hair.
See gave me a half smile and said it was helping. “It isn’t always going to be like this,” she said. “The first three days after chemo is the worst, and then I’m usually fortunate enough to have a few days where I feel good; well, as good as can be expected on chemo.” I didn’t say a word. I just sat there playing with the strands of her hair, thinking about how stupid I was leaving her in that hotel room in Michigan.
“Don’t get to use to doing that,” she said. “It’s going to be gone soon.”
“I don’t care. You’ll still be just a beautiful,” I smiled.
I know that made her feel good because she smiled at me, and I kissed her on the forehead. Even being in so much pain, her smile could still light up the room and arouse me. Damn that smile. I took a hold of her wrists and held them in front of me, rubbing the tattoos with my thumbs.
“I noticed these at the hospital when you were receiving chemo. I’ve been waiting for you to show me; why, Ellery?” I asked.
She looked down and slowly got out of bed. She walked over and stood in front of the window. “Because at some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life, and this is my way of keeping you in my heart.”
The tone of her voice was sad when she said that. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in those words she just spoke. Even after everything I did to her, she still loved me and wanted to keep me close to her, and the only way she knew how was with those tattoos. I felt like the biggest bastard on earth. I got up and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her into me from behind.
“Get back in bed, and I’ll bring you some tea,” I whispered in her ear.
She turned herself around in my arms and kissed me on the cheek. I took in a sharp breath as it was heaven to feel her warm lips on my bare skin again. I wanted her so much, but I knew it wasn’t possible. I smiled at her and left the room to get her some tea.
I set the peppermint tea on the nightstand and climbed back in bed beside her. I had to tell her about the phone call I received from Peyton.
“Peyton called me and read me the riot act,” I laughed.
“Why would she do that?” Ellery looked at me with fear.
“She said she’s been trying to get a hold of you for a couple of days, and when she didn’t have any luck, she called me. When I told her about your chemo and that you were staying here, she started yelling and said to sit tight because she was coming straight over from the airport to kick my ass.”
“Oh god, not tonight,” she said as she rolled her eyes.
“No, we’re in luck. She’ll only be here tomorrow since her flight was cancelled,” I lightly laughed.
“Good, because tonight I couldn’t deal with her,” she smiled.
Ellery closed her eyes and fell fast asleep in a matter of seconds. I sat there for a while and stroked her hair while she slept. I’ve already forgiven her for not telling me she was sick. I just hope she can forgive me for leaving her in Michigan. I ran my finger across her forehead and down her cheek, taking in the softness of her skin. I no longer cared about my life because I have a new life to take care of and worry about, and she’s lying right beside me, looking like an angel. I slowly climbed out of bed so I didn’t disturb her. It was late, and I needed some sleep. I put on some pajama pants and looked around for my phone. The last time I remembered seeing it was in the kitchen. I walked downstairs and retrieved it from the table. As I reached the top of the stairs, I heard Ellery crying. I carefully opened the door as she had her face buried into her pillow, sobbing. I felt a large pit in my stomach. I hated to see her cry, and I hated that she tries to hide it. I walked over to the other side of the bed, climbed under the covers, and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight. “It’s alright, baby. I’m here,” I whispered as I kissed the back of her head. I’m never letting her go again.
I slept with her in my arms the rest of the night. It felt so good to hold her and sleep next to her again. The next morning, I got up, showered, dressed, and went downstairs. I said good morning to Claire, grabbed a cup of coffee, and went to my office to do some work. As I was sitting at my desk, my phone rang. It was Ashlyn. I had already avoided two of her phone calls.
“Hello, Ashlyn.”
“I’m sick of this shit, Connor!” she yelled.
“What are you sick of?” I sighed.
“I’m sick of you ignoring me and not returning my calls. You promised me we could get together when I got back, and I’ve been back for two days and nothing. No seeing you, no sex, nothing. I’m fucking sick of it! I know damn well it has something to do with that blonde whore you’re seeing.”
Now, I was seriously pissed. “I’m sorry about the other night, but something came up!” I yelled. Why the hell was I apologizing to her?
“Your apologies aren’t going to work this time, Connor, and next time I see that blonde bitch, I’m telling her everything about us, then we’ll see how sorry you are!” she yelled before she hung up.
“Fuck!” I yelled as I threw my phone across the desk. I started to pace back and forth. What am I going to do about her? I need to get Ashlyn out of my life for good, I thought to myself. I couldn’t risk her ruining things between Ellery and me, not when it’s going to take time to rebuild what we lost. I was so angry that I was starting to see red.
I walked to the kitchen and saw Ellery standing next to the counter. She had a weird look on her face.
“How are you feeling? You look better today,” I said.
“I’m fine,” she said in a low voice as she looked down at the floor.
I hate it when she tells me that she’s fine. I never know if she means it or if she’s just telling me what I want to hear, and after the bullshit conversation I just had with Ashlyn, I didn’t need this right now. I wanted her to tell me the truth, but unfortunately, I lost it. I looked at her from across the kitchen.
“You always say you’re fine, Elle, even when you’re not. Are you ever really fine? Can you ever just tell me the damn truth for once in your fucking life, so we can stop playing these goddamn guessing games? Can you say something other than ‘I’m fine, Connor’? Because you know what, Ellery, it makes me sick.”
I put my hands on the edge of the counter and pushed myself away from it. I took in a deep breath to calm down. Did I mean what I just said to her? I don’t know if I did or not, but I do know she won’t stand there and take it. I heard her walk over to me, and as I turned my head and looked at her, she slapped me across the face. I didn’t move or say a word; I just stood there and stared into her anguished eyes. She turned and walked out of the kitchen. I hurt her again, and she didn’t deserve it. I stormed out of the kitchen and knocked over a vase that was sitting on the counter. I left the penthouse via the front door and slammed it behind me.
I walked down the streets of New York City. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing. Ashlyn had pissed me off by threatening to tell Ellery everything, and I can’t seem to believe whether Ellery is telling me the truth about how she’s feeling. It isn’t her fault that Ashlyn’s a bitch, and I can’t get her out of my life. I blew up at her for no reason, and like the ass that I am, I hurt her enough for her to feel the need to slap me. I walked around for an hour and a half to cool off. I needed to apologize to Ellery and tell her about Ashlyn. She’s been more than patient with me, and I owe it to her. I pulled out my phone and sent her a text.
“I want to apologize for my behavior. I’m on my way back to the penthouse, and we need to talk. If you’re feeling up to it, we can go out for lunch.”
She didn’t respond back. I walked back to the penthouse and went straight up to the guest room. I stood there and looked around. I glanced over to the corner of the room, and her bag was gone. In fact, the things she had sitting on the dresser were gone as well. Claire came in behind me.
“She’s gone, Mr. Black. Right after you left, she came up here, grabbed her bag, and left. I tried to stop her, but she said there was something she had to do, and she apologized.”
“Shit, what the hell have I done?!” I yelled as I ran down the stairs to the living room. I pulled out my phone, but there was still no reply so I messaged her again.
“Where are you, Ellery?”
A few minutes later, she replied. “Connor, I had to leave. My being at your place was hurting you as bad as it was hurting me. The only thing I can tell you is I’m ok, and please don’t worry about me. I have a few things that I need to do, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
She doesn’t know when she’ll be back? What the hell is she doing, and where did she go? I was pissed, and I could feel my blood pressure rise.
“What do you mean you don’t know when you’ll be back? Where the fuck are you going? You have treatments to finish; you better get the hell back here, right NOW!”
When she didn’t respond, I sent her another text. “I will find you, Ellery Lane, even if I have to travel to the ends of the earth; make no mistake that I will find you.”
“I know you will my stalker,” she responded quickly.
Enough with the text bullshit, I was going to talk to her. I dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail. I bet she turned her phone off. I decided to text her one more time to see if she would respond.
“Ellery, you better answer your phone!”
There was no response, so I called her phone one more time, but once again, it went straight to voicemail. Just as I threw my phone on the table, I heard the elevator doors open and a woman’s voice.
“Where is she, Connor Black?!” Peyton said as she stormed in.
I looked at her with anger in my eyes, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
“Uh oh, what happened?” she asked.
“Your best friend decided to take off and take a little trip somewhere,” I said.
“Where did she go?” Peyton asked calmly.
“How the hell do I know? She just said that she had some things she needed to do, and she didn’t know when she’d be back. What the hell, Peyton? You’re her best friend; what the hell is she doing?”
She shook her head and walked towards me. “I don’t know, Connor, but you need to calm down. We’ll figure out where she is, and we’ll bring her home.”
“I can’t calm down,” I said as I turned and headed towards the bar. “She’s sick, and she needs someone to take care of her.”
“Why did she leave? What did you say to her?” She asked as she frowned at me.
“I yelled at her, but I didn’t mean it. I was angry about something else, and I took it out on her. Damn it!” I screamed as I downed some scotch. I looked at Peyton and could see the worry across her face. “Would you like a drink?” I asked her.
“No thanks, I’m good for now,” she replied. “I should get going; I have to unpack.”
I walked her to the elevator. “If you hear from her, will you please call me?” I asked calmly.
Peyton put her hand on my shoulder and smiled. “You bet I will. I know how worried you are.”
Worried isn’t the only thing I am. I’m pissed at her for doing this. Damn it. It’s my fault that once again we’re apart. I haven’t even told her I loved her yet, and it’s killing me because I need her to know how much I do. I had my back turned when I heard Denny.
“I already told you that you’ve met your match. She’s just like you, stubborn.”
“I know that, Denny. So, why the hell do you keep saying it?” I snapped.
“Because you need to realize that you just can’t go off on people the way you do. You need to remove the number one stress in your life because she’s causing you and Ellery too much pain.”
I poured another drink. “I know, and I’m trying.”
“Obviously not hard enough,” he said as he walked out of the room.
I sighed and closed my eyes. My phone rang, and I jumped. I grabbed it. Peyton was calling.
“Hello?” I answered.
“I’m only telling you this because I know you love her, and that she loves you. If you ever tell Ellery that I called you, I will string you up by your balls and let you hang for days. Do you understand me, Connor?”
I gulped, this girl meant business. “Yes, Peyton, I promise.”
“She went to Michigan to take care of a few things and hopped on a flight somewhere else. Don’t ask me where because I’m not telling you. You need to figure that out for yourself.”
I started to interrupt her. “Peyton...”
“Don’t interrupt me, Connor. Just let me finish. She wants you to find her, but there’s something she has to do first. That part I can’t help you with because she wouldn’t tell me what it was. She said if you find her, then the two of you were meant to be and that whatever it is she’s doing will be worth it. She told me to be your friend. So, I’m being your friend and betraying my best friend. Start looking for her, and get your ass on a plane when you find her.”
“Thank you, Peyton, I appreciate you calling me.”
“You’re welcome. I believe you’re the best thing in her life, and she needs you. That’s the only reason why I’m doing this. Don’t let me down,” she said as she hung up.
I stood at the bar looking at my glass of scotch. What game is Ellery playing? I asked myself.