Sixteen

I was dying of a heat stroke. It was the only thing that made all this heat make sense. I tried to shift around for a cool spot while pushing at the blankets, but when my hand collided with skin that was not my own, I froze. My eyes snapped open and I found that the stiff pillow I had been using wasn’t a pillow at all, but a naked chest.

I assessed the situation quickly.

The first things I noticed was that we were knotted together like we were welded together. I’m not sure we could have gotten any closer. Our legs were a tangled mess and Jensen’s arms were wrapped securely around me, holding me to him.

I tilted my head up to find a very much awake Jensen staring down at me.

I smiled sheepishly. “How did we get like this?”

“I’m not sure. I awoke to find us like this.” Neither of us tried to move right away. We just lay there staring at each other.

The lines were so blurred they were almost nonexistent and I had a feeling that in the end I would be the one getting burned. And the thought of being the one on the hurting end made my stomach knot up. I didn’t want that to happen to me again.

“I think it’s my turn to make breakfast,” I said, untangling myself like he was on fire. I sprung from the room without waiting for him to say anything.

We didn’t speak much throughout breakfast and I was glad for it. The awkwardness surrounding us was almost tangible and it was slowly suffocating me. When Saw barged through the door, I almost kissed her. I practically ran out the door, not letting her get a word in to Jensen.

“Where’s the fire?” She called after me.

I ignored her as I flew down the stairs and over to my Tahoe. She wasn’t in any rush as she sauntered out of the building shooting confused looks in my directions as she neared. I sighed in relief as she closet the car door behind her.

“You wanna tell me why you ran out of there like hell was chasing you and why Jensen looked like a guilty dog who couldn’t look me in the face?” The look on her face told me she was in no mood for avoidance.

My shoulders sagged in defeat. “Just a chase of awkward as fuck.”

She choked out a laugh. “What?”

“Things with Jensen are getting a little more intense rather than flaming out like I had hoped.” I was too cowardly to tell her the truth. I knew what I had done was bad because bet or no bet, Jensen was not my boyfriend, so I shouldn’t be having sleepovers in his bed.

“You don't say? Is that why you both look weird when I walked it? Well, more weird than normal.” Her sarcasm rang clear and I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Shut it.”

“How are things with Alex? I won’t pretend I couldn’t hear him yelling at you last night in the hall?” Her change of subject was not in the direction I had hoped. I was a little hesitant to answer.

“I’m the worst girlfriend,” I chuckled. “He’s such a great guy, but I just… there’s just nothing. I feel nothing for him and I hate myself for it because I want too. Not to mention here lately he’s just been kind of weird.” My frustration bubbled to the surface when I thought about the jealousy he’s shown towards Jensen.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“He’s insanely jealous of Jensen. Last night when he stopped by while I was out with Jensen and waited on my doorstep until I came home. When Jensen and I arrived we were being our usual playful selves and as you heard Alex lost it on me. He called me dumb because I didn’t think Jensen was into me.”

“And did you punch him in the balls?” She demanded. “Please tell me he will walk with a limp when I see him today.”

“No, but I told him to leave, and he apologized.”

“The jerk. What did Jensen say?”

“He was pissed. Threatened to intervene if he ever heard Alex talk to me like that again.” My mind flickered back to the anger on Jensen’s face when I walked through the door. He looked like a lion stuck in a cage.

“Good. He better or I will.”

        I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up. I could only imagine how hilarious it would be to see Saw beat Alex’s ass and I had no doubts she could do it. Then the verbal lashing she would give him would go down in the books.

        My phone dinged, and I pulled it from my bag.

June: So you bitches decided to skip class and didn’t invite me. Some friends!

I checked the time and swore. I looked up at Saw, frowning. “Class started five minutes ago.”

Saw shrugged, not looking bothered. “Everyone needs a mental health day. Is that June?”

“Yea,” I chuckled.

“Tell her to meet us at the bakery on Downing.”

I nodded and typed out the message quickly, then pulled out of the parking lot. This day was starting to look up. I was saved from an exhausted day at school and trying to avoid Alex. I wasn’t ready to see him and I wasn’t sure if it was because I was still mad at him or because I was feeling guilty that I had slept in bed with Jensen last night.

June beat us to the bakery and had already found us a seat. We placed our orders and try to play catch up. June had been busy lately, and we hadn’t seen much of her.

“How’s work?” I asked June.

“Running me ragged, but I love it.” June worked at one of the popular bars near campus. She’d been there since she turned twenty-one and couldn’t imagine working anywhere through college.

“I feel like we only see you at school anymore and that’s only for a few minutes at a time,” Saw pouted.

“I’m sorry. Between work and going back and forth to my parents, I’ve been swamped.” I noticed that she looked more tired than usual and maybe a little pale.

“Everything okay?” I asked, concerned for my friend.

“Oh yeah,” she smiled. “My mom just gets a little crazy when I stay gone too long.” She waved me off, but I could tell that that wasn’t the whole truth. I decided not to push it.

“Speaking of, I haven’t heard from my parents in a while. I’m thinking maybe they don’t miss me at all.” I made a mental note to call my mom sometime tonight.

“How’s the tattoo healing?” Saw asked June. Saw had finished putting the final touches on it a week ago and they both seemed really pleased with how it turned out.

“Perfect, of course. You’re a fucking genius,” June praised her.

“It’s by far one of my favorite pieces,” she beamed. “I swear I’m considering framing a picture of it to hang in the studio.”

“That would look awesome!” I exclaimed.

“Mack and the guys will love it! And speaking of the guys I was thinking about cards Friday. You guys in?” Saw looked hopeful at the both of us

“You know me. All work and no play,” June huffed.

“You know I’m in, but we can wait until Saturday if that would be better for you June.”  

“Saturday’s no good me either, but you guys go ahead and I’ll catch the next one. Promise.” June said, looking apologetic.

“You’d better. We talk about you all the time and the guys can’t wait to meet you,” Saw told her and it was the truth.

We spent the rest of the morning sitting in the bakery, sipping coffee and snacking on delicious pastries. I think in that moment we all kind of wished our lives could freeze right here so we could stay here a little longer, but the reality was we were busy people and live goes on.

The shop was slow and by the time dinner rolled around Mack gave me the rest of the night off. I was a little thrilled for the early freedom and didn't waste any time in calling Alex to see if he wanted to meet up for dinner.

“Freya!” Alex greeted me when he answered his phone.

“Hey you,” I smiled. “You busy?”

“Too busy for you? Never!”

        “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”

        “Are you kidding? Of course I want to have dinner with you!” He sounded like he was genuinely thrilled.

        “Great! How about I meet you at that Italian place in fifteen minutes?”

        “Sounds perfect. I can’t wait to see you.” The line went dead, and I rolled my eyes. I’m pretty sure it would kill him to say bye before hanging up.

        I shoved my phone into my pocket and picked up my bag, heading down the hall to Saw’s studio. I pushed her door open, to find her and Jensen. They seemed to have been in an intense conversation until I interrupted.

        “Oh, sorry. I just wanted to see if maybe you could catch a ride. Mack told me I could cut out early, so I’m going to have dinner with Alex.”

        “Sure, babe,” she smiled.

        “Awesome,” I said, my eyes flickering to Jensen and I started to say something, but thought better of it. Mostly because I had no idea what to say. I backed out of the room and hurried to the door. .

        Dinner turned out nice and I was pleased that I had enjoyed myself. We chatted for what felt like hours at the restaurant. As we headed to our cars I found myself looking for reasons to stay.

        “You sure you don’t want to come home with me?” Alex asked, rubbing his thumb across my thigh before pulling me into him. “I don’t want to end the night yet.”

        I should have said yes, but I knew what he had in mind and I wasn't there yet. Josh had been the only person I had been with and that made me hesitant to jump into bed with someone else. I wanted to feel like it was the absolute right choice and right now it didn’t feel right.

        “Not tonight, okay?” I whispered, looking down at my hands. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m just not ready to take that next step yet.” I hated disappointing him.

        “Hey,” he said, softly. “It’s fine, honey. You don’t have to apologize.”

        I smiled up at him and raised up to kiss him lightly. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

        “I can’t wait.” He pulled me into a deeper kiss, then I watched as he walked to his car.