Thirty-Three

        “What are you smiling about?” June chuckled, nudging me in the arm as we walked to our next class.

        “Nothing in particular.” I tried to stop smiling but failed. Jensen and I had picked up where we had left off and it was like my world had finally righted itself.

        Jensen refused to let me return to my apartment and a few days later he paid to break my lease early. Within a few days, I was completely moved back into our apartment and we were back in our room together. It was nice to finally sleep through the night.

        I promptly quit the bar. Well, after my two weeks notice. If it hadn’t been for June, I wouldn’t have bothered but I didn’t want to make her look bad since she had gotten me the job. She understood when I told her I was quitting. She knew how much I loved working at the shop. Mack took me back on with open arms and was happy Jensen and I worked things out.

        Saw walked around smug for weeks, acting like she single handedly saved the world. And she kind of did, thought it was only my world. She was a great friend and I owed her big for this one.

When I looked up at June, I noticed that her smile didn’t reach her eyes. This wasn’t her normal happy. “Everything okay?”

        She shrugged. “I suppose.”

        “You suppose?” I arched an eyebrow and pulled her to a stop. “Talk to me.”

        She let out a long sigh, then pulled me over to the nearest bench.

        “Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?”

        “You have been present like the last year of my life, right?”

        She chuckled and shook her head. “Right. Well, it’s a shitty feeling, friend.”

        “Indeed. Are you going to tell me who it is you can’t have?”

        She didn’t say anything right away and I could tell she wasn’t sure if she wanted to say anything at all. Thinking back I tried to remember something I could have missed, but could only come up with my own drama. Some friend I was.

        “Tyler,” she blurted, not meeting my eyes.

        “Tyler?” I asked, confused.

        “We sort of hooked up after the last poker night,” she informed me.

        “And by ‘hooked up’ I’m guessing you mean sex?” I clarified.

        She sighed heavily, finally turning to face me. “It was supposed to be a one night stand. I  was the one who insisted on it. But typical girl that I am, I kind of really like him.”

        I swear to God I almost had a Saw moment but managed to refrain from squealing and bouncing up and down in excitement. Once I was sure my enthusiasm over this news was as a tolerable level, I smiled at her.

“But that’s great! He’s an awesome guy!”

“No it’s not great. I chickened out and talked to him again. I’m afraid he’ll reject me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. He wouldn’t reject you. Wait, does Saw know about this?”

She leveled me with a look. “Of course I didn’t tell mom! I was too afraid she might overwhelm him with her silly threats and I didn’t want her to scare him away.” Smart, I thought. Saw would definitely threaten him. “Please don’t tell her, either.” She said as an afterthought.

I kind of owed her, so I nodded. “It’s not my business to tell.”

“Thank you,” she said, gratefully.

“Hey! Why don’t you come to the shop with me? I bet Tyler would be happy to see you.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” she sighed.

“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. “At least come for me. I get so bored by myself. It’d be nice to have someone to hang with.”

“You’re lucky I don’t work tonight or have any good excuses not to come,” she huffed.

“Yay!” I squealed and hugged her.

“Yeah, yeah,” She mumbled, then we headed off to class.

        I thought class would never end. By the time we were finally outside, I impatiently pulled June towards my Tahoe. I was excited to spend the evening hang out while I worked and I couldn’t wait to see what happened when she and Tyler saw each other again.

        “What’s that?” June asked as we neared my car.

        There was something sticking out from under my windshield wiper.

        “Surely I didn’t get a ticket. My parking sticker is visible on my back window.” We stopped beside my car and I pulled the paper out from under the wiper. As I read the words, my lungs seemed to shrink and there didn’t seem to be any air around me.

        “What?!” June demanded, but didn’t wait for to answer. She pulled the paper from my fingers and read it.

        The words played over and over in my head.

                 You fucking whore! You are mine! You will see soon enough and you will regret this.

        

         June gasped, and I raised a hand to my mouth in horror. I could almost hear the words as if Alex had spoken to me himself. There was no doubt in my mind that this was from Alex even though it made little sense. He hadn’t contacted me in months. I thought he was over this but it would appear not.

        My body trembled and I struggled to find breath. June turned and reached out to grab me but I was already swaying. I vaguely heard her tell me to calm down, but it was too late. The darkness was all around and I could feel it dragging me under.

        Beautiful but worried green eyes greeted me when I finally woke. He slipped an arm under my back and helped me to sit up. I blinked around in confusion as I realized I was sitting on Jensen’s tattooing table. The guys, June, and Saw were all staring at me with concern.

        “All right, luv?” Jensen asked softly.

        “Y-yea,” I mumbled, rubbing at my face, then looking to him. “I think so.”

        “That’s good,” he said.

        I turned to find June. “I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t imagine how freaked out she probably had been.

        “No worries. Saw walked up right after you went down. She helped me get you in my car and we brought you straight here. I managed to catch you so you didn’t hit your head or anything. I didn’t see any reason to take you to the hospital.” She walked to me and bent down, wrapping her arms around me. “We’ll figure this out okay?”

        “Okay,” I answered.

        She pulled back and winked, then headed out the door. Tyler gave me a small smile and went after her. At least something good was coming out of this. They were really cute together, so I hoped they worked out.

        Saw came into view, bending until she was level with me. Her face was fierce.

        “I’m going to castrate him,” she growled. She pulled me into a hug, then stepped back. She looked to Jensen and nodded before turning to the two lingering men. “Okay, she’s fine. Clear out.” She herded the guys out the door and it shut with a click.

Jensen was standing beside me and I could almost feel the anger rolling off of him. He was taking deep steady breaths and I could see how he was working to reign in his emotions. I reached out and took his hand into mine, ignoring how mine shook.

“Babe,” I called looking into his face. He didn’t answer, so I called to him again. His hand pulled out of mine and he paced the floor, running an agitated hand through his hair.  

        “I’m going to shove that bloody note up his arse, right after I break his fingers for writing it.” His voice was harsh and I could see he was working himself up now.

        The last thing I wanted was for Jensen to do something that might get in trouble. Even if it was to defend me. I hopped off the table and walked over to him, reaching up to put both my hands on each side of his cheeks forcing him to look at me.

        “He’s not worth it. I’ll hand the note over to campus security or the police and they will talk to him. He will get the message.” I tried to sound reassuring but I wasn’t sure if I even believe it myself.

        “That’s not good enough.”

        “It’s all we can do.”

        “I don’t want him anywhere near you, luv. I won’t be able to stand it.” His eyes bore into mine and I reached up on my tiptoes to press my forehead against his.

        “I haven’t seen him in months, Jensen. It’s unlikely that he’ll be near.”

        He moved my hands from his face and wrapped his arms around me, pressing my head into his chest.

        He held me for a moment then spoke. “I’ll drive you back and forth from school for now. That way I can keep an eye on you. While you’re at school, Saw and June can watch you.” I opened my mouth to argue but the shut it back. It all seemed reasonable.

        “Okay,” I agreed and I could feel him relax.

        “I love you, Freya,” he whispered into my hair.

        “I know,” I smiled.

        He pulled back, then bent down scooping me up into his arms.

        “Come luv. Let’s get you home.” He strolled over to the door and pulled it open.

        “But we have work,” I objected. “Plus, I have plans to hang out with June.”

        “Work can manage without us today and June will just have to come back another time.” He walked down the hall and into the waiting area. Everyone was standing around talking.

        “I’m taking her home. I have a few appointments today, so they will have to be rescheduled.” Jensen said to Mack who nodded.

        “I’ll take care of it, man. You take care of your gal here.” Mack looked to me and smiled. “You don’t worry. We have your back.”

        “Thank you,” I smiled in return.

        “Saw? Can you grab her things and carry them to the car?” Jensen asked, looking to her.

        She jumped to her feet and jogged down the hall, returning in moments with my stuff. Jensen moved to the door and Derek held it open for us. Saw went first and as Jensen and I passed, Derek grabbed my hand and squeezed.

        “I’m gonna rearrange his face if I catch him at my gym again.” My mouth dropped open at Derek’s words.

        “Please don’t get yourself into trouble. He’s not worth it.” He gave my hand one last squeeze then released it.

        “But you are. Your family now and nobody messes with family.”

        I had to turn away before the tears fell. The fact that they considered me part of their little family made my heart swell with happiness. I felt the same about them.

        “Call me if you see that bastard,” Jensen whispered then carried me to his car. The cold air bit at me and I shivered.

        “Almost there, luv.” He assured me, rubbing my arm.

        He stopped beside the passenger door and Saw held it open for him. He sat me in the seat, then slammed the door shut. Jensen spoke to Saw. She looked to me, then nodded before jogging back to the shop. Jensen climbed into the car and the engine roared to life.

        “Let’s get you home, luv,” he said, pulling out onto the street.

        A few minutes later we pulled into the apartment complex parking lot. Jensen turned off the car but he didn’t move to get out. He sat there staring out the windshield gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

        “Jensen?” I called, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “What’s the matter?”

        “This is all my bleeding fault,” he said low.

        “What? No, it’s not,” I said incredulous.

        “The worst part is that I had heard the rumors. Rumors of him being territorial with a few of the women he had been with. People talk and I thought it was all rubbish. Something about him always put me off and I never could put my finger on what it was.

Then you came along and Saw practically threw you in his arms in hopes of getting me out of my head. If I hadn’t of been so messed up still then you would’ve never went out with him. So, yes luv. This is all my fault.” His head dropped in defeat and I felt as if my heart would break all over again at the sight.

        I reached out and wrapped my arms around him.

        “No Jensen. This isn’t your fault. No matter how much people talk you could have never foreseen this happening. You being all in your head is not the problem. After what happened to you it’s understandable you were a little messed up. Something like that could rock even the strongest person. There is nothing wrong with that and it doesn't put you at fault for what Alex is doing. Don’t you dare blame yourself, okay?”

He had turned his head to look at me and I gave him a hard look. I made sure he could see the truth and love that I held for him there. There was no blame coming from me. I didn’t even blame Saw for what was happening. This really wasn’t their fault. It was Alex’s. His alone.

Jensen leaned forward and kissed my forehead, then rested his against mine.

“Christ, I love you,” he murmured. “I can’t lose you too.”

“You won’t because I am not going anywhere.”

He reached up and caressed my cheek. “I’ll hold you too that, luv.”

“I’ll be happy to uphold my promise.” I smiled at him and pulled back. “Now, let's get inside.”

We walked into our apartment hand in hand and once the door was shut, I let Jensen put my bags down, then I leaped at him. He caught me no problem and I wrapped my legs around his waist and bent my head down to whisper in his ear.

        “Take me to bed, baby.”

        He stepped over my things and strolled down the hall and into my room without hesitation. He sat me on the floor beside my bed and we stood there staring at each other. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, then dropped it to the floor. He copied me and slowly we undressed ourselves taking turns pulling off our clothes.

        Once we both were stripped bare in front of each other, Jensen stepped towards me and pushed me back onto the bed. I scooted to the middle and followed me, hovering over me when I lay back. He reached up and tucked a stray hair behind my hair and smiled down at me.

        “You’re luscious, pet. I could just eat you up.” He gave a devilish grin, then trailed kisses down my stomach.