Evan

 

 

 

 

A whole week she's been gone. A week where I've heard nothing from her, and nor has anyone else for that matter.

I got home last week to find her gone. I thought nothing of it at first, it's not like she's a prisoner, she's free to come and go as she pleases. When she didn't come home, I called her sister, but she hadn't seen her. Then I called Casey, who gave me a mouthful and called me a cheating bastard and how I better stay away from Krystal or else.

I drove right over there. I thought Krystal was there. She wasn't. Of course, Casey gave me what for, slapped my face. Told me about some photos Krystal had mentioned to Casey. Pictures of me and some woman I'm apparently sleeping with.

Like I told her, I have fucking slept with any other woman since the day I found out Krystal had cancer, so the photos can't be real! Then my brother told me what he thought of me. We almost came to blows. I was the bigger man and walked away.

Took a lot for me to do that. Normally I would have taken him on, but I had more important things to think about right then. Like finding Krystal.

Everyone is worried about her, but it's like she's vanished off the face of the earth. Which has me worried like you wouldn't believe. But I know others know where is she and how she's doing, but they're not telling me. They'd rather me be worried out of my damn mind than just tell me she's okay.

Don't they realize how fucking cruel that is?

Sure, I'd badger them to tell me where she is, but if she really didn't want to see me, I'd respect her decision and stay away.

Okay, I'm lying, but still.

I need to find her, I need to explain to her that those photos are fake. They have to be. I haven't cheated on her. I haven't been with anyone since I bumped into Krystal that day after my therapy session. I don't know what the hell is going on, nor who sent those... Wait... No. She wouldn't.

What the fuck am I thinking, of course, she would!

I can't confront her by myself. I know her, she'll make something out of nothing and with no one there to witness it, it'll make everything worse. I need someone... God, it's going to have to be him. Him of all people. But I know if he's with me, she won't be able to pull anything. He'll see I'm not lying.

“What the fuck do you want, Evan?”

“Your help.”

“I don't know where she is, and I wouldn't tell you if I did. Why on this earth would I subject that girl to you anymore?”

I close my eyes for a second. I've been a bastard in the past. I've done things I'm not proud of, but do I really deserve this? Everyone turning on me? And I do mean everyone. I didn't do anything wrong. I just need someone to believe in me. To help me fix this.

“Because you're my brother, Edison. You have to believe me that I didn't do this. I don't know why someone would do this. But I do know who did it. I need your help, Ed.”

“You need my help? You've never needed me for anything, Evan. You do this shit and then act like a little boy who lost his bike. You brought this on yourself!”

“I didn't do this, Ed. I swear on my son's soul that I didn't do this.” I swallow back my emotions. “Please, Ed. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could help. I have to find her. I have to make her see that this is all lies. I wouldn't do anything that would cause me to lose her again. Nothing, Ed.”

He's quiet on the other end of the line. He's not going to help me. My own brother believes I did this. But who in the end do I have to blame but myself?

I don't wait for him to say anything, I hang up the phone, slip it into my pocket and drive toward Judith's. It's time she learned when to keep her mouth shut. That she and I will never be together. I know she did something to manipulate those photos, to make it look like we were together somehow. I can't be sure what, but it's not hard to do when you know how. And that bitch knows just how when she's a computer genius. That's why my mother hired her, among other things.

Fuck me. According to Casey, those damn pictures were of me fucking some slut – Judith – in every way a man can. No wonder Krystal left me, I'd have left her if I'd received such pictures involving her. But I would have confronted her first.

But my past is against me. Krystal must have taken one look at those pictures, felt her heart break in two, and then decided enough was enough.

How could she have thought any differently when the evidence was right in front of her?

I could just scream I'm so fucking angry! I can't promise I won't strangle the bitch when I get my hands on Judith.

She answers her front door on the first knock. There's no smile on her face. I thought she'd smirk at me, gloat at what she'd done. But there's nothing behind those eyes.

“What do you want, Evan?”

“I want to know why? Why you sent those doctored pictures to Krystal. Why you are so hellbent on ruining my life!”

“You best come in.” She opens the door to allow me to pass. Not going to happen. There's no way on this earth I'll give her the chance to get me in the kind of situation that will cause me even more trouble.

“I'll stay here if it's all the same. Just tell me why, Judith. What did I ever do to you?”

“You didn't love me. What does she have that I don't, Evan?”

“My heart, Judith. That's what she has, my heart. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you, but did I really deserve this?”

“I don't know.” She doesn't know? She doesn't fucking know!

I rake my fingers through my hair frustratedly. I'm so angry I could vomit!

“How did you even get those pictures, Judith?”

“They were from when we were together. We were drunk so you probably don't remember. But I set the camera up, you said it was okay. It automatically took those pictures.”

“That was almost two years ago!”

“I know and I'm sorry! I wanted to hurt you. To hurt Krystal. I just wanted you to love me. I thought if she saw the photos she'd leave you and you'd come back to me.”

The anger inside of me is at boiling point and I have to take a step back for fear of slapping the bitch.

“You stupid bitch. Do you have any idea what you've done?!” Crying won't make this better. I don't give a shit how upset she is, she brought this upon herself! “She left me because of you! And look, I still don't want you! She is all I want, all I will ever need. Nothing you do will ever change that.”

“What do you want from me, Evan?”

“I want you to tell Krystal the truth. Tell her those pictures aren't recent. Tell her...”

“I heard.” I spin on the spot. Krystal is standing right behind me, my brother against his car. I didn't even hear the fucking car pull up. Yet my beautiful Krystal is standing there in tight jeans and black sweater. Her hair is growing more each day. She looks healthy, and I can see she's had the surgery to reconstruct her breast.

I should have been there for her through that. I should have been able to kiss her and tell her how much I love her and how I'd be right there when the op was over. I wasn't because of the bitch behind me.

I swallow hard. “Krystal, what are you doing here?”

“Ed called me. He was worried about you.” I look to my brother for a moment. He's leaning back against his Audi, one foot over the other, arms folded around himself. He believed me. He believed me and he called Krystal and got her to come here – even though I have no clue how he knew here is where I was going. But I guess my brother tracked my phone, it's not like he hasn't done that more than once.

Right now, I'm glad he knows how.

He smiles slightly and nods his head. I nod mine slightly in response. He and I need to speak very soon. There's so much we need to get out there. But not now.

“I'm so sorry, Krystal. I'm sorry Judith sent you those old photos. I didn't even know they existed. But you have to believe me, baby, I did not cheat on you.”

“I know,” My eyes close for a second in relief. “I heard everything she said.” She looks behind me at Judith for a second. I hear the front door close and I know Judith is no longer there. “Please forgive me, Evan. I shouldn't have doubted you, but you have to know how it looked to me.” She bites her lower lip, eyes filling with tears, and I'm right in front of her faster than she can take her next breath.

I take her face in my hands. “There is nothing to forgive, Krystal. Believe me, I understand how it would have looked to you. I would have been just as angry if I'd gotten those pictures involving you. But I can't go one more day without you. I miss you, I need you, and I love you so much.”

“I love you, Evan. I promise that I'll never doubt you again. I've missed you so much. Please, take me home.”

I pull her into my arms, and I hold her so tightly against me. “Evan... Too tight. My boobs are new.”

“Oh shit!” I let go of her, in shock, but she just laughs. Fuck, I didn't mean to hurt her. “Baby,”

“It's okay,” She giggles. “They're just a bit tender right now. Everything is.” She scoffs. “But I'll be right as rain soon enough. How about you take me home, Mr. Harrington?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“If you're coming home as my fianceé.”

She smiles up at me, and it's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I stroke her face with the back of my hand. “Well, that depends on whether or not you're free in three weeks time.”

“Why's that?”

“Because that's when we're getting married.” I don't answer her with words, I simply kiss her like my life depends on it. Not even caring that my brother is now coughing discreetly behind us. Krystal chuckles against my lips.

Everything is going to be okay now. The woman I love is healing. She knows I haven't cheated on her. We're getting married in three weeks, and nothing can tear us apart again. All we need do is talk to each other and everything will work out.

“Let's go home.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

I asked Krystal to wait for me at home. I didn't want to leave her so soon, but she wanted to take a hot bath and relax before we spend the night in each other's arms. I want nothing more than to make love to her tonight, but there's no way I'm pushing that subject after what we've been through this past week. Besides, I don't think she's quite ready, and we've got our whole lives to make love.

Right now, I'm outside my brother's front door. It's time for me to swallow my pride and tell my brother why I've been treating him like my enemy all these months.

He opens the door with a curious look on his face. “It's been an hour. You need my help again already?”

They say you push away those who mean the most to you in times of stress and grief. My brother has been my best friend since the day I was born. We used to get into so much trouble together. Of course, we were like any other siblings and fought all the time about silly things.

I haven't been fair in my analysis of my brother when I've spoken about him. I was angry with the world and took it out on my brother. I should never have done that.

I look at him for a second before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him to me. He hesitates for a second before holding me tightly, arms around my back. “Is everything alright?” He asks softly.

“I'm so sorry, Ed. I'm so, so sorry.” I suck back a sob. We've lost so much time because of me and my anger.

All this time I've spent thinking I hated him because he got to keep his child, when the truth is, I didn't hate him at all.

I would never wish ill on my brother. I would never wish for him to lose his child, it's the worst pain there is.

I've been the worst brother to mine. I don't want this bad feeling between us anymore. I want my brother back.

“It's okay, brother. I promise it's okay.” We just hold each other for a few moments before he pulls away and leads me inside. Casey was watching us the whole time. She's got tears in her eyes as she looks at us.

She's holding her daughter, my brother's daughter. The little girl I have never held, but feel the urge to right now. I swallow hard. “Can I hold her?” My heart is banging so hard in my chest. I've missed out on my nieces first six months of life. I feel like a cunt for ignoring her the way I have.

She's such a beautiful little girl, looking right at me, big eyes shining in wonder.

Casey nods at me and I hold my hands out to Darcy. She laughs loudly and practically jumps out of her mother's arms and into mine. I look at her little face for a moment before pulling her close to me. I kiss her head and breathe her in. She smells like baby soap and perfectness. I didn't know I'd feel this much love rushing through me the second I held her.

She lays her little head on my shoulder, so trusting, so loving, and my heart breaks for the fact I couldn't let myself get close to her for fear I'd lose her as well as Leo. “I'm so sorry, baby girl. Uncle Evan is so sorry.” I rest my cheek on her head. “I love you, Darcy. I swear that I do.”

“Evan, what's going on?”

I've never felt so much hurt in my life. I'm not talking the kind of hurt I felt over losing Leo, and Krystal having cancer. But I'm hurt because I almost lost my brother and his family because I pushed and pushed until he almost walked away from me for good.

My brother is right in front of me now, looking me right in the eye. “I miss you, Ed, and I am so sorry for the way I've been aching. I was jealous.”

“Jealous?”

I nod. “Jealous because my son died and you get to hold your daughter every day and tell her how much you love her. I will never get to see my son smile, hear his first words, all those little things a child does that make a parent proud.”

My niece reaches for her mother, who takes her from me, leaving my arms empty.

“I understand, Evan, trust me, I do. I know how hurt you were, I felt it for you. If I could have taken the pain you felt away then I would have. Believe me.” He clasps the back of my neck and presses his forehead to mine. “I love you, little brother. We all love you. None of us will ever leave you, I promise you that.”

He pulls his head from mine, keeps his hand on my neck, and looks into my eyes. “I'm so proud of you, Evan. You pulled yourself out of your sadness to be there for Krystal when she needed you. You've proved you can be trusted, that she means everything to you.”

“She does. She means more than everything to me. I can't live without her, Ed.”

He looks over at his wife and smiles, she smiles back. He looks at me again. “I know just how that feels.

“I want my big brother back.” I swallow hard. “I love you, and I need you to forgive me, Ed.”

He laughs and pulls me against him, arms around me again. “Nothing to forgive, little brother. Just don't push me away again. Don't lock things inside in future, talk to me. I am always here for you, Evan.”

I nod against him, letting him know that I'll never lock him out again.

I have my brother back, everything really is going to be okay now. I don't have to lock things inside of me, all I have to do is talk them through with someone, anyone. If I've learned anything from all the therapy it's that.

I'll never lock my brother out of my life again, and I'm going to be the best uncle to little Darcy. I'm going to spoil her rotten. She's not a replacement for Leo, no one ever will be, and I don't have to feel guilty for loving her. I know that now.

Krystal and I will never forget Leo. We'll keep him alive in our hearts for the rest of our lives.

Krystal never has to doubt me a day her life again. I'm never going to let her down, never will do anything stupid enough to lose the woman I love.

She trusts me. And that's the Truth.