Evan

 

 

 

 

I'm a nervous wreck. I am literally a nervous wreck. Not that I'll let Krystal know that right now, she needs me and I won't let her down. She's all ready for surgery, lying in her hospital bed, IV in her hand, and her face so pale she's grey. She's terrified.

“I feel sick.” She tells me while trying to breathe through her fear.

“It's okay, baby. Breathe through it.” She smiles sweetly as I stroke her face gently.

I made sure Krystal's surgery and treatments are now and will be in the future, paid for. She didn't want me to pay for them, argued with me that she wouldn't allow it. But there was no way in this world I would sit back and watch her fade before my eyes because she couldn't afford to pay for her own treatments, not when I could fix it all for her. She's the love of my life and nothing is too much. It's only money, and if I can use my money for the good of my girl's health, then I will, time and again if I have to.

I know she's a proud and independent woman, and I applaud her for that, but a woman can be too proud sometimes. This is her life we're talking about. There's no room for pride.

I stroke the hair back from her forehead. “I know you're scared, but everything is going to be okay. I am right here with you.”

She nods and closes her eyes for a second. “You promise you'll be here when I wake up?”

Of course, she'd be frightened that I won't be here when she wakes up. Why wouldn't she think that after what I did after Leo died?

But I'm going nowhere. I feel stronger than I ever have.

With a smile on my face, I say, “You bet I will. I'm not leaving this hospital without you.”

She smiles and I see a glimpse of the girl before all of this. The beautiful, happy girl I fell in love with.

The girl I thought I'd lost. Especially when I saw how upset she was while we packed up Leo's room. That killed us both, but it had to be done. It was time.

“We'll be here, too,” Yes, my parents are here. They insisted on coming with us so that I wouldn't be waiting here alone. I got the feeling my mother thought I'd walk away again. I can't blame her for thinking it, but it won't happen. “We're going to be here for you all the way.” My mother kisses Krystal's head.

“Lilah, can I ask something of you?”

“Anything.” My mother smiles. She likes being needed.

Krystal and Casey mean a lot to my mom, they have since the day Ed and I brought them home. She took them under her wing and treated them like her own daughters.

Casey doesn't have any family of her own, my brother and their daughter not included. Her mother died a little over a year ago, her father disowned her after she dishonored him by not marrying the man he'd chosen for her.

Casey was too afraid to marry that guy, especially when she was in love with my brother. They weren't actually together then, but Krystal and I came up with a plan, which Ed decided was the right plan. To marry Casey. The four of us flew to Vegas and Ed and Casey got married.

As soon as we got home, my mom and dad were waiting, wanting explanations. Ed told them the truth, my parents were understanding and welcomed Casey into the family.

I'd asked Krystal to marry me the night of Ed and Casey's wedding, my parents were thrilled. My girl was also welcomed into the family, and they treated her like she'd always belonged.

They threw a huge party with all our family there. A party because everyone had missed the wedding.

I'd already leaked the true story of why Ed and Casey had gotten married to the press. Well, the truth that her father and grandfather were trying to force her into an arranged marriage like it was the damn 1800's.

Casey's father stormed my mother's house that very day, demanding to know who the hell my brother thought he was. He then tried to drag Casey out of the house. Literally. She was screaming for him to let go. Ed chasing after him, threatening to kill him if he hurt her.

Casey's father was pissed that we'd told the press the story, still thought he could force his daughter to marry the man he'd chosen for her by getting Ed and Casey's marriage annulled. Casey screamed how she was pregnant.

That son of a bitch went for her. Literally, draw back his hand to slap her.

My father snapped. I'd never seen my father hit another person before that day, and I hadn't realized just how strong he still was until that moment. But hit Casey's father he did. He punched him so hard he literally knocked him out for a couple seconds.

My dad and uncle Thane threatened him. I'd never heard them like that before, but everyone in the room knew they meant what they said when they told Carlos Mendez how they'd ruin him.

When they were done, Carlos told Casey that she was dead to him. If she stayed with Ed then she would no longer have a family.

Casey had already told her father loud and proud that she would be going nowhere. She'd married Ed because she loved him, that she was pregnant with his baby – a fact none of us but Ed knew until she'd screamed it at her father so he'd let of her – and how she would never give up the man she loves or her unborn child for anything.

She made her choice, her father said nothing else, he just walked away from her like she meant nothing to him. We've never seen the man since.

Then, of course, there's Krystal's family. Her parents moved to Holland a while ago. They didn't ask her to go with them. Krystal's sister moved to Germany when she was eighteen after her parents refused to accept her as a woman. Yes, her sister was once her brother.

I've never met Paula, but I've spoken to her on Facetime once or twice when she called Krystal. The first time I spoke to her, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She looked just like Krystal but with blonde hair, she was strikingly beautiful. There was no trace in her features or the way she spoke that she'd ever been a man.

Krystal has always been proud of Paula, always so supportive. I love that about Krystal. But I do wish she had her family here for her right now, she needs them even if she doesn't believe so. But I also know that Krystal wants to get this surgery out of the way before telling Paula the truth about the cancer. I said she should've told her already, but what Krystal wants is all that matters to me right now, and she doesn't want her baby sister knowing anything yet.

“If Evan wants to leave...” I open my mouth to speak, but my father shakes his head, so I don't say anything. “Let him leave. It won't be because he doesn't want to be here, but because he needs to clear his head. Once he has, he'll come back.” She squeezes my hand. She has so much faith in me when I really don't deserve it. I watch my mother nod her head with a smile on her face, but it doesn't touch her eyes.

“Ev,” I stroke Krystal's face with the back of my hand. “I love you.” I suck back my emotions. “I love you and I forgive you.”

How can she be so perfect?

Forgive me?

Only Krystal could forgive the hell I've put her through.

“I love you more than anything.” I kiss her softly just as we're told it's time for her to be taken to theater. She holds my hand until I have no choice but to let go. Now all I have to do is wait the 2-3 hours it will take before she's back in her room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

I remember the first time I kissed Krystal. She'd been joining Casey and me for lunch every day for a week. Yes, that's all it took before I was lost to her. Casey had taken herself back to the office early because Ed needed something, or so she told us. Krystal decided to stay and finish her lunch. I could tell she just wanted to keep talking to me.

We walked through central park talking about anything and nothing all at once. She smelled so good and she looked beautiful in her navy blue pencil skirt and white button down blouse and those sexy little blue heels of hers. All I could think about was having those heels digging into my ass as I fucked her, her long legs wrapped around my back, her nails digging into my shoulders.

That's when she said, “You're thinking dirty thoughts about me, aren't you, Mr. Harrington?” She was to the point, and that flirty smile on her face pulled at something inside of me.

I didn't answer her, I grabbed her and kissed her like I needed to in order to keep breathing. She kissed me back with as much passion. And when I pulled away, she seemed dazed. “Wow.” She said.

“You're so beautiful.”

“And you're dating my best friend. Oh my god, what have I done?” She ran from me without letting me explain the truth about Casey and me, that us “dating” was all a ploy to get my brother to pull his head out of his ass and realize how much he liked Casey. I should have told her before I ever touched her.

Of course, Casey explained things to her, and from that moment, Krystal was mine and I was hers.

“You okay, sweetheart?” I smile at my mother, she pulled me right out of thought. “You seemed a little lost there for a moment. Do you want to step outside?”

“I'm fine, Mom.”

“She's just worried about you, Evan.”

“There's nothing to worry about, Dad. I'm not going to walk away from Krystal again. She's forgiven me and I won't let her down. I love her too much.” I say with a genuine smile. And in this moment, I realize I need to tell them what I've been going through. Not everything, but enough for them to understand I didn't leave the woman I love just because. “I think there's something I should tell you.”

“Oh?” My father takes a seat beside my mother on the sofa in which she's sitting in this private waiting room. It's not overly large but it's not small either. There are six single, plush armchairs and four small sofas. There's also a coffee machine, a fridge, and a wash basin.

“When Krystal lost the baby,” I lean forward with my elbows on my knees. “Something happened to me.”

“What?”

“Let him finish, Li.”

“I kind of had a blackout. I still don't remember leaving the hospital, I just remember being in a bar.” I scrub my hands over my face, letting the scratch of my scruff sooth my palms. “I had some kind of breakdown.”

My mother sucks in a breath. She's dying to say something, but I need to get this out there.

“I've been seeing a therapist for the past few weeks. I needed to make sense of what I was feeling. She's been helping me, but it was Krystal who made me see what I couldn't before. Of all the people to understand me it was her. She had every right to hate me, but she doesn't. She told me that she understands. I don't know how she can, but she does. I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting these past few months.”

“Oh, Evan. Why didn't you come to us? We could have helped you.”

“I wasn't ready to admit anything was wrong, Mom.”

“I'm proud of you, Evan. Seeking help was the best thing you could have done.” I needed to hear that from my dad. I needed to know that he doesn't hate me. I know he would never hate me, but being ashamed of me would have amounted to the same thing in my mind.

“I just want to make things right. Krystal needs me and I will be there for her, but I kinda need you both.” It's hard for me to ask my parents for help. I've always been strong and independent. But it's time for me to swallow my pride and ask for the help I know deep in my heart I need.

“Evan, we will always be here for you.” My mother leans over and places her hand atop of mine.

Not many men of my age can boast that their mother is literally beautiful. But mine is literally beautiful. Her long brown hair and heavenly blue eyes stand out in ways that dazzle. Her slim yet athletic frame makes her look like a swimwear model.

How is that right for a fifty-year-old woman who hasn't had any kind of plastic surgery or enhancements?

But my mother has always taken care of herself physically. She doesn't look her age, and many of my friends used to make comments about what they'd like to do to her. They didn't like what I did to them for saying such things so much.

Although, I can see why they would say such things. Today she's dressed in a very tight plum colored dress. It sits above her knees and plunges at the neck enough to show a little cleavage. I really don't care what women wear, but she's my mother! I don't want other men looking at her like she's some sexual object. Not that I need to worry, my father would kill anyone who so much as looked at my mother the wrong way.

“What's happening when Krystal goes home? Are you going to stay with her? Her with you? Because she cannot be alone, she'll need a lot of help.”

“In all honesty, Mom, I thought about taking her to mine. She kind of trashed her place.” I shrug. I may have cleaned the place up, but it doesn't look like the same place anymore. “I was going to pack her personal belongings – which she doesn't have much of because she literally destroyed the place – and then move her in with me for a while.”

I watch my parents exchange a glance.

“What's that look?” I sit back in my seat.

“Your Mum and I thought the two of you could come and stay with us for a while.” I scrunch my face a little. Move back home with my parents? “Hear me out, Son. Krystal is going to be sick for some time. She needs to be in a place that's calm and happy. We thought you could take the summer house.”

The summer house is really a guest house my father had built at the bottom of his huge garden, right by the lake that runs between my parent's house and my father's parents house. Which they only stay in when they're visiting from England. My father didn't need to build the guest house, his house is huge, there's plenty of room for guests. Yet still, many have stayed in the guest house over the years.

“We thought that if you stayed in the summer house, you'd have your own privacy, but we could help you with everything you need. It's going to be so hard to do this all alone, Evan.”

Yes, Mom, I know that.

“I know that you can do this, sweetheart, and I am so proud of you. But...”

“Okay,” I roll my eyes while cutting her off. They're right, I need their help. They're not doing this because they think I can't be everything Krystal needs. They're doing this because doing it alone would be hard for anyone. “We'll move into the summer house.” Her face lights up, this means a lot to her. “Thank you,”

A few hours later, I'm beside Krystal's bed, holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up. A nurse had come to collect me as soon as Krystal was out of surgery. Looking at her in this bed with all this stuff around her makes her look so small, so fragile. “Evan...” She grumbles.

I'm the first person she asked for, and that makes my heart swell. She really does still love me.

“I'm here, baby. I am right here.” She smiles with her eyes closed. “I'm always going to be right here.” She nods sleepily. I kiss her hand and take a seat beside her.

This is going to be a big battle. But I'm in it for the duration. This woman is going to be my wife. Sooner or later, she will be. I love her and love holds no bounds. She proved that with her grace and forgiveness.