Two years later…
WE STILL TRADED STORIES.
But it wasn’t just the pains of our past anymore. We also shared the joys of our present and the dreams for our future. The silly confessions were becoming some of my favorites.
We still had hard days, of course. There were still moments when our pasts seeped in and tried to reclaim a spot in our lives, but we fought back against them.
Some battles were fought together, others had to be fought alone, but the point was: we were fighting. Even if the world had tried to make us victims.
All those days of fighting were worth it, especially on days like today.
“It’s finally happening, big bro. Are you ready?” Steve asked.
Keeping my eyes on the mirror, I fixed my slightly crooked tie. I was more than ready to marry Ellie, and I told my best man as much. Having three brothers made picking a best man next to impossible, so I ultimately went with the man responsible for bringing Ellie and me together.
A knock on the door sounded before Damien stepped through. “Someone wanted to say hello.” He stepped aside and Andy immediately ran through, still in his street clothes. Ellie didn’t want him to get dressed until absolutely necessary. It was a practical request; the kid was a human hurricane.
“DADDY!” he shouted, launching himself at me. I easily caught him.
“Hey, kid. Are you ready?”
Eagerly nodding his head, he looked back at his uncle. “D said I am.”
“Are you heading over?” I asked Damien.
“I—”
“Where you going?” Andy twisted in my arms, and I put him down.
“I’m gonna go see your mom, buddy. I get to walk her down to Grayson,” Damien said it like it was the most magical thing to ever happen, and based on Andy’s wide-eyed expression, he thought so too. “Because her dad is a dick,” he muttered to me.
“Who’s a dick?” Andy shouted, and it took everything in me not to laugh.
“Hey, buddy,” Damien anxiously swooped in. “How about we don’t repeat that? Especially in front of your mom…”
He giggled. “Okay. Can I walk too?”
“You want to give your mommy away?” I asked.
Andy’s smile exploded and he began nodding vigorously, even though he had no clue what we were saying or what he was agreeing to. “YES! I’ll do the bestest job.”
“The best. You’ll do the best job.”
“Wayyyy better than me,” his uncle assured, but Andy was done listening. He started running around the room, half dancing, and stopping to talk to Steve.
This kid had so much life to him.
Ellie and Andy had been living with me for close to a year and a half, and his bubbly personality was one of my favorite parts of coming home.
Damien started to slip out when I stopped him. “Hey.” I pulled out a piece of paper from my pocket, looking at what I’d written on it before folding the note and handing it to him. “Could you give this to Ellie?”
He raised his eyebrows and snickered. “Are we in kindergarten again? I think we’re past the point of passing notes,” he teased, even as he tucked it into his pocket. “Besides, she agreed to marry you—I’d say she likes you.”
I grinned; nothing was getting me down today. “Just give it to her, please.”
“Will do.” His eyes moved to something behind me. “Good luck corralling the Energizer Bunny.”
I turned around as the door shut, laughing when I saw Andy had a death grip on Steve. His face was tipped up toward him, talking a mile a minute.
“Andy,” I called out. His head whipped my way. “Let’s get you dressed.”
My brother looked relieved when my son let go and sprinted toward me.
“I’m ready. I’m ready. I’m ready,” he sang, copying one of his favorite shows.
I definitely didn’t sing along, but all I could think was… me too.
“Knock, knock.”
Joy, Naomi, and I turned toward the door, recognizing Damien’s voice on the other side. “How’s it going in here, ladies?”
“Great. We’re almost ready.” Joy smiled wide, smoothing down my veil. I was staring at my brother in the mirror. He came up behind me, and Joy stepped aside so he could put his hands on my shoulders.
“You look beautiful, Ells.”
“Thank you. And thanks for walking me down the aisle.” A huge grin split across my face. “Can you believe I’m getting married?”
“Oh. Right, change of plans,” Damien said.
Naomi immediately slapped him in the back of the head. “What the hell? You don’t say something like that on her wedding day. Her mind goes to the worst possible place.”
“I’m smiling,” my brother said, pointing to his white teeth.
I laughed, shaking my head. “My mind didn’t go to the worst possible place. I trust Grayson.”
Joy reached down and squeezed my hand.
“Either way, my bad.” He gave Naomi a quick kiss before turning back toward me. “Andy is gonna walk you down the aisle.”
“Really? How’d that happen?”
“Grayson asked if he wanted to…”
“Oh.” My lips flatlined. “I can’t believe I didn’t think—”
“He’s three, Ellie. He’s not a logical first choice,” Joy chimed in.
Nodding, I said, “You’re right.” To Damien, I asked, “Okay, so is everything ready?”
“Should be.” He turned to leave before pausing. “Oh, and Grayson asked me to give you this,” my brother said absentmindedly as he handed over a folded piece of paper.
My eyes watered as I stared at the familiar scrawl. But this time the word Still was crossed out, and written above it was Always.
Naomi and my brother had quietly slipped out. Now it was just my maid of honor and me.
“He’s a keeper,” Joy whispered over my shoulder.
With a grin, I turned around. “Like Carter?”
“Yes.” She still had stars in her eyes from their wedding eight months ago. Although today there seemed to be an extra twinkle to it.
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you keeping something from me?” She ducked her head and I slapped her arm. “Oh my God, you are!”
“I didn’t want to take away from your big day.”
“How could more good news take away from it? Spill! Spill!” I had a pretty good idea what it was, but nothing quite beat the anticipation of something.
“I’m two months pregnant.”
“That’s amazing.” I immediately pulled her into a hug. “Congratulations. How did Carter take it?”
“He cried, not a lot, but he was definitely happy.”
“You goober. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
Joy chuckled. “Goober? I think you’re spending too much time watching TV with Andy.”
“Don’t I know it,” I mumbled. We were still laughing when Damien knocked.
“All set, ladies? I got one handsome-looking man out here, ready to give you away.”
“Hmm…” I lifted my dress and walked toward the door. “Who could that be?”
I already heard my son giggling on the other side. And when the door swung open, he spread his arms wide. “It’s me, Mama!” I didn’t have time to respond before he spoke again. “She’s a princess.” He tugged on my brother’s pants with wide eyes. “Mama’s a princess.”
Tears pricked my eyes. I tilted my face up to keep from ruining my makeup.
“You’re right, buddy,” Damien said, serious, his eyes on mine when I tipped my head back down. “Your mama is a princess.”
I was laughing as Grayson carried me across the threshold of our hotel suite. My arms were wrapped around his neck and my head was thrown back, eyes closed.
“Are you happy, Mrs. Mable?” he asked. Eyes still shut, I eagerly nodded before he sealed his mouth over mine. I heard the door slam and the lock engage, his lips never leaving mine. Grayson shuffled across the room, me still in his arms.
He had to stop when I kept smiling though.
I’d always dreamed of the day a boy said the words, “Will you marry me?” I thought about it a lot, actually. More than I should have for someone who was so ignored. Honestly I imagined something planned, romantic, with flowers and candles and all that other crap that women think they want, when in reality all that matters is him.
But that wasn’t how Grayson proposed.
We had been arguing in the kitchen. I couldn’t even remember what it was about. And all of a sudden he left. He just walked away and went into the bedroom. I started shouting, asking him why he was leaving. I followed him, mouth opened, ready to yell again, but stopped short as soon as I entered.
He was standing there holding a red velvet box. And without any preamble, he proposed.
“This is real life. This argument right here. This is some—hopefully a small amount—of what our marriage will look like. It’d be easy for me to plan the perfect night and promise to love you when there’s nothing wrong. When we’re completely content and don’t have a care in the world. It would be perfect. But I don’t want that. I don’t want perfect. I want something real. I want your hurts and your pleasures, your tears and your laughs. I want to ask you right now. Right at this moment when we’re fighting. Because I love you. Still. Always. Forever. I want you even when we’re like this. Even when things aren’t perfect, I want you.”
Tears welled in my eyes just thinking about it. Because somehow it was perfect. Joy said that it was utterly unromantic. But it wasn’t. Not to me. He’d had the ring for a little over a week and had been trying to plan the perfect night.
So I told her the truth, that Grayson was the most romantic man I knew, without even trying.
His words were never “lines.” He wasn’t saying it to be sweet or romantic. He wasn’t trying to get laid. There was never a pause as he waited for me to appreciate the words, like I’d seen Damien do with Naomi. No. Grayson said the words like they were facts.
He called me beautiful. He told me he loved me. He proved that he saw me. And he didn’t do any of it wondering what it would get him. Grayson just did these things, like he didn’t think I should be treated any other way.
“What’s that smile for?” he asked now, breaking me from the memory. I slowly opened my eyes.
“I was thinking about the day you proposed.”
He grinned. “That was a great day.”
“It was.”
Grayson finally set me down, immediately cupping my face and drawing my lips to his. It was a quick kiss, but like everything about that day, it was perfect.
“Do you need to freshen up or anything?”
“Oh.” I smacked his arm, remembering something. “Naomi said she put a surprise for me in my suitcase.”
He turned around and grabbed it from the front door before setting it on the bed. I stepped forward and popped it open, immediately seeing the black box. Grayson watched as I lifted the lid, and he started laughing when the first pair of underwear stared up at us.
It was a blue pair with the words “Cop a feel” on the butt, little handcuffs dangling off the C. I lifted it up, coming face-to-face with the other pair. These were facing up, red with a mistletoe right below the belly button.
“Oh God,” I groaned. Something about my brother’s fiancée picking these out was slightly mortifying. Even if she was my friend, anything related to Damien and sex made me shiver.
“I think I underestimated how much I like Naomi,” Grayson mused. I smacked him in the stomach. His smile turned soft and he tucked a fallen strand of hair behind my ear. “I have a confession about our first kiss.”
“Christmas?”
He nodded, looking guilty and mischievous all at once. “I knew the mistletoe was there. I’d gone jogging that morning and saw it. I didn’t have an exact plan on what would happen, but I was hoping…” He shook his head and laughed. “You were so cute when you started freaking out.”
Groaning, I let my head fall against his chest. “I didn’t want you to think I was being sneaky, begging for a kiss. How pathetic.” I lifted my head and let it thud on the same spot, as if I were banging it into a wall.
Grayson chuckled, wrapping his hand around my neck and lifting my face to his. “You never have to beg. I’ll give you anything… I’ll give you everything,” he whispered, his face suddenly serious. “You’ve given me so much, Ellie. When I was younger I cut myself off from other people. It felt like the only way to survive. But ever since I met you, I don’t want to merely survive. I want to live.”
He’d barely finished before I leaned up and kissed him, hoping to feel his words as our lips met. I quickly pulled away though.
“I want to give you something.”
“What is it?”
“A present.”
He groaned, his lips dipping into a frown. “Ells, we agreed not to.”
“I know. But this isn’t… I didn’t want anything, and this is kind of like a present for both of us.” I stepped around him, my smile wide, as I walked toward the other bag I had Naomi bring up. I dug the wrapped gift out and tucked it behind my back before hurrying toward my husband, who was now sitting on the bed.
I giggled.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Nothing. It’s silly.” Grayson lifted his eyebrows expectantly. “I thought the word husband. I still can’t believe it.”
His smile widened. “Me neither. So, what do you got there, wife?”
We both laughed as I brought my arms around and handed it to him. He took the gift from me, carefully unwrapping it before opening the flat, rectangular box.
Grayson’s eyes rose to mine. “A pen?” he asked.
“There’s more underneath.” I held my breath as he lifted the blue tissue paper. His hands froze in midair, and the paper fluttered to the ground. But he didn’t pick it up and fold it like he normally would.
My eyes moved between him and his present—adoption papers for Andy. “I know you haven’t said anything along the adoption lines. But you talk about him being yours.” His eyes still hadn’t moved, and my nerves heightened a bit. “If you need time or—”
Grayson stood up in a flash, leaving the present on the bed, before grabbing my neck and smashing his lips against mine. Between the strength of his arms crushing me to his chest and the relentless way he kissed me, I was dizzy in less than a minute. My heart was swimming with so much love and joy I hardly knew what to do with it all.
When he pulled away I was breathless. “I love you,” he growled against my mouth. The possessiveness in his voice made my body flush. “Of course I want to adopt him. The only reason I hadn’t mentioned it was because I was nervous.” My eyes widened and he chuckled. “I know it’s hard to believe and now it seems silly, but it would have killed me if you’d said no. I would’ve grown a sack and asked eventually.”
“You were right—he’s always been yours. We’ve always been yours.”
Grayson smiled, and it amazed me that there was a time when it felt like I had to work to get that expression out of him. “The girl who everyone forgot,” he whispered.
“The boy who wished to be forgotten,” I softly said back.
Neither was spoken with pity or sadness—only acceptance.
“But that isn’t us anymore.”
“No, it’s not,” I agreed.
“I’m tired of living in the scripts other people gave us, people who don’t even matter. It’s time we wrote our own, Ellie.”
I teared up for the billionth time that day. “It is.”
Then he brought his lips to mine, sealing the words with a kiss.