Charlie
His tongue was hot and fiery as it entered my mouth, reminding me of everything I’d been missing. I was way past horny as Nixon dipped his head and deepened the kiss.
I wanted to tear the clothes off his body. Lick his torso, go down on him, hear him moan with pleasure before letting him take me on the bed. Hard and fast would suit me fine. We could do slow and easy later in the night when our hearts had found their regular rhythms again.
Then in the morning we could…
The morning.
The next day.
Driving to LA.
Nixon’s girlfriend.
Reality.
The words grew louder and louder, screaming over the chaotic passion trying to drive me forward.
Nixon cupped my breast, giving it a gentle squeezing and turning me on while his tongue skimmed my neck.
His touch tried to claim me, pull me back into dreamland, but then came the shouting again.
It wasn’t right.
Sleeping with Nixon wouldn’t be right.
So far, our love had only ever been pure. Pure passion. Pure innocence. Pure beauty.
If we did it in this hotel room, it’d change all that.
It’d turn Nixon into a cheater and me into the other woman.
“Stop,” I whispered.
It was an effort. I wanted him to keep going so badly.
I even contradicted my words by fisting his hair and holding him against me for a second.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I grimaced and cried out, “Stop! We have to stop!”
Nixon jumped away from me, his face awash with pain. “I don’t want to stop.”
Neither do I!
I wanted to scream the words and then rush back into his arms, but I swallowed hard and croaked out what I was supposed to. “I won’t turn you into a cheater.”
“But I want you.” His voice was broken and bruised. I nearly caved on the spot.
Pulling in a ragged breath, I pinched my nose and turned away from him. “You have a girlfriend.”
His silence made tears swarm onto my lashes. And then he whispered, “I know.”
“You can’t cheat on her. You’ll feel like scum, and it’d ruin everything between us.”
“I know.” He sighed.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I grabbed my shirt and squeezed. He wanted me.
I glanced over my shoulder and caught his eye.
He gave me a sad, pained smile.
It was tempting to shout at him for moving on when I couldn’t.
If he’d just waited for me we could give in to the moment.
But I’d left him. I’d given him every reason to fall for another girl.
“I—”
“I can’t stay in this room with you and not have you,” Nixon whispered. “I won’t be able to control myself.”
His words made me smile. It’d be so easy to give in and write it off as a walk down memory lane. No harm. No foul.
But it wouldn’t work.
Nixon would be ravaged by guilt, and if we did ever get back together, it would taint our whole relationship.
If there was one thing I never wanted to fuck up again, it was Nixon and me.
My lips rose into a shaky smile. “Let’s just keep driving, then. The sooner we get home the sooner we can…figure this out.”
He knew what I was saying, and the small spark in his eyes gave me hope.
There was still so much to say and do, but it looked like my second chance with Nixon could be just around the corner.
*****
We drove in agitated silence at first. We were both exhausted, but we kept pushing. LA was waiting for us. An old life. A new start.
I could almost taste it.
I drifted into a dreamy doze until the early hours of the morning when Nixon woke me to take over for him. He fell asleep as soon as we took off and didn’t rouse until midmorning. By then I was ready to stop for coffee.
We were about two hours out from LA. As tempting as it was to just keep driving, I forced us to stop for a late breakfast in Newberry. We shared a massive stack of pancakes and got extra coffee to go.
Nixon took the last leg and I got music going as soon as I could.
“Another You” by Against the Current started us off and I bobbed my head to the beat. As much as the lyrics wanted to take me out, they couldn’t. Because all I could do was look at Nixon and smile.
Hopefully my kisses last night had shown him how much I had never wanted to say goodbye in the first place. How being back together with him was everything I’d been craving.
When we reached the outskirts of LA, we both kind of tensed. Exhaustion and coffee were making me jumpy, and I figured Nixon wasn’t looking forward to the next part of his life.
Breaking up always sucked. Would he have it in him to do it?
I totally understood the pain of hurting somebody and I wouldn’t rush him, but man, I was desperate.
The sooner he was single, the sooner we could be together.
“This exit,” I murmured when we neared the off-ramp.
He followed my directions and eventually pulled up beside the plaster-clad apartment I called home.
“This looks nice.” He held the door for me as I slipped out of the car.
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. My roommate’s awesome. She’s Kelly’s sister-in-law.”
Nixon bobbed his head. He’d met my cousin once, and her stunning model-like beauty had turned him into a thick-tongued mumbler. I’d hassled him about it for weeks, loving the red color of his cheeks. I’d never felt jealous or threatened, because although he thought Kelly was gorgeous, he could never fall for a girl like that. She was nothing like me.
Doubts gouged my insides as I thought of his office girl. She was nothing like me, either.
Shit, what if he stayed with her?
Swallowing back my fears, I rested my hand on his chest and caught his eye with a smile. “I’ll always be yours. Being with anyone else just…” I let out a shaky laugh. “We’re Chix, you know?”
With a gentle grin, he took my hand and kissed it. “I know.”
My eyes glassed over, my smile growing wobbly. “I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“Okay,” he croaked, his face flashing with agony as he let go of my hand.
He hated hurting people. He’d be dreading going to see Shayna.
“Take your time.” I stepped against him and rested my hand on his cheek, trying to ease his unrest. “I’m not going anywhere.”
My words made his eyes sparkle.
Brushing his knuckles down my cheek, he kissed me softly and then stepped back. His gaze told me he loved me as he walked to the car.
“See ya later, Nix.”
He smiled before getting into the car and driving away.
I stood on the sidewalk until I couldn’t see the rental car anymore. Letting out the breath I’d been holding, I did a nervous little chuckle and seriously wanted to twirl, but doubts held me steady.
What if he didn’t do it?
“No,” I whispered. “Don’t think that way. Chix will be a thing again. It’s meant to be.”
I forced a quick twirl as if to prove I was right and then headed for the front door. The sudden implications of what we wanted to do didn’t sink in until I reached the top of the stairs. There was no way we’d get back together problem-free. There were four years of history to unpack and build upon. I still had to tell Nixon the truth about his father’s visit. And even though what felt like a millennium had passed, his father could still pull out some seriously dick moves.
At least we didn’t need his money anymore. I had some savings. We could manage on that.
It wouldn’t be easy, but it’d be worth it.
Doubt tickled my insides as my imagination built a solid case against me.
But I didn’t want to let it win.
I wanted to be with Nixon!
“Screw you,” I muttered to my dark meanderings as I opened the door.
I hadn’t been strong enough to fight for us when I was just eighteen, but I was older and wiser. We’d work together to make his parents see the truth. Nixon and I were meant for each other. I could fit into his world if I wanted to. I could go to New York and live there while he studied law! A few years in a concrete jungle wouldn’t kill me.
Maestro scampered into the living room before the door was even closed. His tail wagged excitedly as he greeted me.
“Hey, gorgeous boy.” I crouched down to greet him and scored a lick on the face.
I laughed and scratched him under the chin before standing tall and slipping the bag off my shoulder. It thumped to the floor just as Fliss appeared in the doorway. She had a wineglass in each hand and a sympathetic smile on her face.
“No need.” I shook my head, determined to feed off my small thread of positivity.
“Really?” Her pale eyebrows shot up.
“Well, for one, it’s lunchtime and way too early to crack open a wine bottle.”
Fliss looked at the glasses, shrugged, then gulped down her portion.
I cracked up laughing as she licked her lips and said, “Yum!”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is amazing.”
It was impossible not to love that girl.
“So, tell me why you’re so happy.” She walked to the couch and placed our wines on the coffee table.
“Because I had a wonderful trip home.”
“You’re a day early.” Her expression was dry and skeptical.
“Because you were right.” I cleared my throat and strolled to the couch. Going for casual would lighten what I was about to say.
“But of course.” She grinned. “What am I right about?”
“He has a girlfriend.”
She winced.
“And we got back early so that he can have a very serious discussion with her.”
“Really?” Fliss gripped my arm and I nodded, unable to fight my grin. “No way, that’s huge.”
“I know.” I bit my lip. “I don’t envy what he’s about to do, but… Shit, Fliss. This is everything I’ve been wanting!”
Her smile was sweet yet cautious.
“What?” I frowned.
“Nothing. I think it’s great.”
“No, you don’t. What?”
“I’m just…” She tucked her hair behind her ear.
“What?” My voice grew low and stern.
“You left him…for what you swear are really good reasons. Do they not matter anymore?”
I looked down to my checkered pants and started tracing the boxes. “I’m not saying there aren’t a few obstacles, but…” I blinked and nodded. “I really want him back, Fliss.”
“I know,” she whispered, rubbing my shoulder.
She was too much of a realist to truly celebrate with me. She wouldn’t do that until Nixon was free of his relationship and officially mine again.
Leaning back with a sigh, I tuned into the soft strains of music coming from the kitchen—“Everything I Didn’t Say.”
Typical. Another sad song about broken relationships.
The frickin’ music had been like a character of its own on my road trip. Every song a reminder of what I’d let slip through my fingers. Of what I still had to face in order to win the prize that had been snatched away from me too soon.