Charlie
My head-banging made him smile, but then our meal arrived and I had to stop dancing…had to invite back the big awkward I was trying to avoid.
How did I tell him?
How did I face it all and tell myself that what I thought was an act of pure selflessness had ended up doing more damage than good?
As I nibbled on my fries, memories from that night came flooding back with choking clarity.
I should never have answered the door. I’d been getting ready to go out and meet up with Nixon. I thought he’d shown up to surprise me rather than meeting up like we’d planned.
So I opened the door.
I stupidly swung back the wood, oblivious to the fact that my life was about to be ruined.
“Mr.… Mr. Holloway.” I glanced past him to see if Nixon was waiting in the wings. No such luck. It was just me and him—the scary-ass lawyer.
“Hello, Charlotte.”
Shit. He used my actual name. It was a really bad sign.
Gripping the door, I forced a polite smile and replied in a tiny voice, “Hello.”
Smoothing a hand over his salt-and-pepper hair, he drilled me with the kind of look a prosecutor gives a guilty guy on the stand.
I swallowed, trying not to be thrown by it.
“I hope you don’t mind me popping over unannounced like this, but I need to talk with you.”
“Okay, um…” I scratched the side of my neck. My parents weren’t home, so I wasn’t about to invite him in. Not with that look on his face.
“It won’t take long. But it’s very important that I make myself clear.”
“Clear?” My nose wrinkled. “On…what?”
His chuckle was soft but metallic, his smile hard. “Nixon told me what you two have planned. He’s very excited, already making lists of everything you need to do in order to prepare.”
I grinned. “That’s Nixon for ya.”
Mr. Holloway’s mouth flatlined. “He’s not going.”
“Excuse me?”
“If you think you’re going to pull our only living child away from us, you’ve got another thing coming.”
Shock stole my voice for a second. “I’m not… I’m not pulling him away. We—”
“Traveling for a couple years before you even attempt college? Are you insane?”
His snap made me flinch. I gripped the edge of the door and tried not to sound intimidated. “It’s not like he doesn’t plan to go at all. We’re just exploring for like a year.”
“Which will turn into two, which will turn into three and before you know it, you’re broke with no security. You don’t stay young forever, Miss Watson. And I don’t appreciate you filling my son’s mind with this trash.”
“It’s not trash. We have a plan, and I would never do anything to lead him astray.”
“Yes, yes, you say that now. But you’re eighteen. You two don’t know anything about life.”
My nostrils flared. “I think you’re being a little unfair. We may be young but we’re not stupid.”
“Your plan is stupid. I tried to tell Nixon that but he wouldn’t believe me. He’s too caught up in his excitement to listen to reason. So I’m appealing to you.”
I swallowed and tried to sound braver than I felt. “Sir, I don’t know what you want me to tell you. But Nixon and I…well, we’re together now, and we are very excited for our future.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, I got the distinct impression I was pissing him off. Shit, I was already scared enough of the guy; I didn’t want to poke a raging bull. But come on, he was acting like a total dick.
“How do I explain this so that you’ll understand?” He sighed. “I will not allow you to destroy my son’s life. You will not steal him from us this way.”
I shot him an incredulous look. “I’m not stealing anyone. He loves you guys. He’ll always be your son, no matter where he is in the world.”
“My wife will not survive this. If you take him from us, it will be like reliving Reagan’s death all over again.”
“That is so unfair to Nixon,” I whispered, then found the strength in my voice again. “Do you hear yourself right now? You can’t put that kind of pressure on him.”
“I want my son to have a wonderful life.”
“And he will.”
“With you?”
It was kind of impossible not to be insulted by the sharp sting in his tone. “I…I’ll do everything in my power to make him happy.”
“How can you say that? The only reason Nixon wants to travel right now is because of you. If you weren’t in the equation, he’d be getting excited about college. As it should be. He’s too intelligent for this, and his talent will be wasted if he goes off traveling. And if you think a cent of my money is going to help you take this reckless trip, then you can think again. I will cut off Nixon’s financial supply if he chooses to use that money for anything other than college.”
My frown deepened. We’d totally planned on using that money.
But I wouldn’t let it deter me.
“Okay, fine.” I threw up my hand. “We won’t travel yet. He can go to college and I’ll work my ass off saving for our trip. We can go after he’s graduated.”
Mr. Holloway’s smile was hard and unrelenting. “He’ll need to think about entering the workforce then.”
My eyes started to prickle as it hit me that no matter what I said, Nixon’s dad would have a perfect rebuttal.
“Think about it. You’ll be slaving away while he studies and figures out what he wants to do with his life. You’ll go insane with boredom and restlessness, unwittingly putting pressure on him. You know how desperate he is to please the people he loves. He’d do anything for you, and you say you’d do anything to keep him happy, but be realistic. You’re wild and spontaneous. He’s the exact opposite. You’re not a good match. You don’t fit into the world he belongs in.”
“But I love him,” I squeaked.
“Then break up with him before any more damage can be done. I know it will hurt you both, but you’ll move on and it’ll be for the best. Do you really want to create a wedge in the family? We’ve already lost so much.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “You’re the one trying to create the wedge. If you’d just accept me and allow Nixon to follow his dreams—”
“He doesn’t even know what his dreams are. He’s following you. He hasn’t even had a chance to work out who he is yet. You need to allow him to do that.”
“But…why? I mean, how can you ask me to hurt him this way? Don’t you want your son to be happy?”
“And you think you can make him that?” Mr. Holloway’s expression and tone mocked me. “I’m his father. I know what's best for my own child, and I won't lose him to someone who's not even worthy of him.”
Ouch. It stung like a slap to the face, and my expression must have told him as much.
With a sigh, he softened his voice. “Please hear my logic. I’m protecting you both from romantic notions that will only end in disaster.”
“Or be brilliant,” I retorted.
“The fact that you can’t say that without your voice shaking tells me you understand what I’m trying to say. I know you don’t want to hear any of this, but please, think about it. We will not support Nixon if he chooses to take this path with you. And right now he’s too high on love to see anything clearly. It’s up to you to save him. Think about who you are. Imagine the future. And do the right thing.” His voice was so certain, it was hard not to buy in to what he was saying, but then he sealed it with a threat that made my skin prickle. “I’m not above using any resources or connections I have to protect my family. I know a lot of important people in this city.”
I frowned, trying to figure out what the hell he was saying.
“Do you have any idea who I am and what I'm capable of?”
“You're…a lawyer.”
He chuckled. “And you know what lawyers do, right? We make up stories for a living. We take tiny threads, little pieces of information, and weave them into believable stories. We convince judges and jurists of an individual's innocence or guilt. We have the power to save or destroy people. Tell me, what position do you think I'd take if I had to save or destroy you?"
“But I haven't done anything wrong!”
"It doesn't matter. I just have to convince people you have. And trust me. I am very, very good at what I do. It’ll take me a two-minute phone call to bring a restraining order against the girl who is stalking my son and threatening to destroy my wife’s life. I can have articles published in magazines, papers…online. Social media is a powerful weapon, and people will believe anything. I could black mark you for the rest of your life. Think of the impact that will have on all the people you care about. Your mom with her little craft shop. I wonder how it would affect her business? And your dad, the dedicated school teacher. It’d make his job pretty tough when rumors about his psychotic daughter start circulating.”
My lips parted in surprise, dread and fear swirling inside me like a toxic cocktail. The look on his face warned me to believe him.
“If you don’t take this conversation seriously, you’ll force my hand. I will not have you anywhere near my home…or my son.”
“But…” My argument kind of died inside of me then. I wasn’t capable of taking on a ferocious giant like Malcolm Holloway.
“Don’t make him choose between us. Our family has been through enough. I need to protect the people I love.”
“I’m not going to hurt him or destroy his life! That’s what you’re trying to do right now!”
He scoffed and shook his head. “You’re too young to understand these things. Just trust me. You and Nixon don’t have a future together.”
“I’m not Reagan,” I spat.
His eyes shot to mine, dark with thunderous warning.
I shrank away from his black look.
“Do the right thing.” His voice shook. “You save our family from falling apart and make the choice for him!” He pointed at me.
Tears burned my eyes as I gazed at the man’s steely expression. “You’re not going to fold, are you?”
“I don’t fold. I win.”
My nostrils flared as a spike of hatred shot through me. “You know it’s not my choice. You’re forcing me into a corner.”
He nodded, turning away as if embarrassed by my tears.
“I can’t break up with him.” I shook my head. “There’s no way I can look at his face and actually say the words.”
Mr. Holloway nodded. “I understand. I can pass on a message if you need me to.”
My heart sank. “Will he actually get it? Or will it just be whatever lies you choose to feed him?”
He sidestepped my question with a sad smile. “Think about our family and everything we’ve lost. Think about your family and everything you’ll be saving them from. How do you think your parents will feel if their daughter has a restraining order placed against her? Nasty articles published about you? The right words told to the right people can really destroy someone’s life.”
“I should tell Nix what you’re doing,” I seethed.
“But you won’t.” His expression was hard yet confident. “Because you love him, and you know you’ll only end up destroying his life if you don’t walk away.”
My throat swelled, making it impossible to argue back. What could I honestly say? To Mr. Holloway, I had no more worth than a dried-up piece of gum on the bottom of his shiny shoes.
“Do the right thing, Charlotte. Find a way to save us all a huge amount of pain.”
He left a short while later and I stumbled to the couch. Mom and Dad found me in tears about twenty minutes later. I blubbered out the whole story, thinking they’d march me over to the Holloway’s and demand that they stop acting like dicks. But instead they got angry, insisting I never go there again if they were going to treat me so badly.
They didn’t want me with Nixon if his parents were only going to make it hard for us to be together. I argued that I loved him and we could fight the odds. But when I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked into their faces, I saw the truth.
They didn’t think Nixon was right for me either…and they didn’t want me ending up dating a guy whose parents wouldn’t appreciate me.
Mom had spent most of her life putting up with judgments from her family, and my dad barely spoke to his in-laws.
The awkward wedge had caused so much heartache…so many tears.
I didn’t want that for Nixon. His parents might be a little up themselves, but they were his parents and I couldn’t tear them apart. Not after they’d lost Reagan.
And I couldn’t rob Nixon of a college education or taint him with any black marks flung against me.
Mr. Holloway was right. Nix was too smart and talented to throw his life away on me.
So I did the only thing I could. I disappeared to Montana. If I saw Nixon, I would have folded like a deck of cards. So I took off in the night, stole away like a coward, desperately trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing.
I went for the clean break. Ignored all his calls and texts. Shut down my social media accounts. Went off the grid in the hopes it’d be easier.
It wasn’t.
I dreamed about him every night. Missed him every day.
Aunt Jessica was kind and sympathetic. She rubbed my back as my stomach jerked with sobs. She distracted me with photography and helped me find some new dreams.
But they were never as bright and shiny as the ones Nixon and I had dreamed up in that tent.
Maybe that was why I’d never had the courage to actually leave and travel the world on my own.
Maybe all that time, I’d been waiting for him.