Nixon
Well, lunch was a bust.
I offered to drive the rest of the way to Albuquerque, and it was a damn quiet ride.
Music was playing the whole time but there was no more head-banging, singing, laughter—any of the things that defined Charlie and me.
It was so weird being with her and not having fun.
I hated it.
But I wasn’t funny or quirky enough to break the spell.
That was Charlie’s job. I was just a backup performer—never really good enough for her. When I told Mom that, she argued that Charlie wasn’t good enough for me. She was horrified and disappointed that my best friend had taken off without so much as a goodbye. The look on her face told me she knew it would happen eventually. She was livid at Charlie for hurting me, and begged me not to find her. The words were like acid in my ears, but I eventually bought into them. College began and took over my life.
They’d always warned me that Charlie’s impulsive nature would get me in trouble one day. And it kind of did. She made me buy into a dream that would never come to fruition. She’d always been such an idealist and, in spite of my practical nature, I truly believed we could make it happen. I thought the two of us were the perfect pair.
*****
By the time we reached the hotel, I was ready to combust. We unloaded the car and checked in, barely looking at each other. As soon as we reached the room, Charlie locked herself behind the bathroom door.
I dumped my bag at the end of my bed and raked a hand through my hair.
All I wanted was to get home to Shayna and be ‘normal’ again.
Except, the thing was…
I didn’t want that.
I wanted the tent in Yosemite. I wanted my senior year of high school.
I wanted those bursts of color I’d experienced since meeting Charlie in New York to last longer.
That was the normal I wanted again.
The normal I could never have.
The toilet flushed in the bathroom and I gritted my teeth, already dreading the evening. Thankfully it was late and I could use the excuse of another big driving day.
Our last one.
Shit. I wanted it to be good. No more of this tense silence!
I snatched the pillow off my bed and hurled it across the room just as Charlie opened the door.
Although unintended, my timing was perfect.
The pillow hit Charlie square in the face and she let out this surprised scream.
It was the funniest sound I’d heard all day and I cracked up laughing before I could stop myself.
“What are you, like eight?” She was trying to be mad but she ended up laughing the words as she picked up the pillow and threw it back at me.
I caught it and kept the game going.
Maybe it was the release I needed. Or maybe it was a chance to laugh with Charlie again.
She countered my next attack and leaped for her own ammunition. Snatching pillows, she let out this deep chuckle. The one I’d always adored.
“I am armed and dangerous now, Holloway.”
“Bring it on, Watson.”
With a yell she jumped onto her bed and took the higher ground, firing two pillows at me and batting away my attacks.
Snatching her pillows, I did a spin and launched them at her, getting knocked in the head by one of her pillow grenades. I laughed and raised my arm against her next pillow missile while inching closer.
She screamed when I grabbed her leg and gave it a tug. As she fell she snatched my shirt, dragging me down as well. There was no way she’d fall alone. Not when it came to a tussle.
I lurched forward with a laugh and then an oomph when I landed on her, then quickly lost my balance. Instinct kicked in and I grappled for something to stop my fall, but all I ended up doing was yanking the duvet and we flopped onto the floor together, Charlie’s cheek cracking against mine.
“Ow,” she groaned, rubbing her face.
“Sorry.” I laughed, gently moving her hand to get a look. Her cheek was a little red, but nothing major. My own burned but my body was quickly turning numb as it registered the fact that Charlie was lying on top of me.
I should have been sliding away, walking away…any kind of away, really, but I couldn’t move.
Because she was right there.
Her hazel eyes danced with laughter. Her perfect lips were inches from mine.
My fingers had to touch her. They slid across her soft cheek, remembering exactly what it felt like to hold her. I traced the curve of her ear and ran my fingers into her locks of vibrant hair. As soon as my hand cupped the back of her head, she dove for my mouth.
The urgency of her kiss told me so much.
It was all so familiar. The taste of her tongue, the way her body melded against mine. She bent her knees and ground into me, her breasts squishing against my chest. I groaned and cupped her tight butt, squeezing it and being transported back in time.
My body begged me to explore some more and before I could stop them, my fingers were wriggling beneath her shirt, finding silky soft skin, curves and perfect breasts.
She moaned into my mouth when I brushed my thumb across her erect nipple.
My dick danced with joy, growing hard and eager as her tongue twirled around mine.
I wanted to peel her clothes off, kiss and suck every inch of her.
Charlie in my arms was right.
It was natural.
It would have been so easy to trigger all her sweet spots again. Her panting breaths would grow fast and erratic as I brought her to orgasm, and then she’d scream out, making me feel like a frickin’ superhero. Then she’d return the favor, sending me on a course around the sun before we’d finish together. Me buried inside her and riding that cloud that even after four years seemed so close, so touchable.
So incredibly unacceptable.
An image of Shayna shot through the back of my brain. Me having to tell her—breaking her heart. A woman who’d only ever been good to me.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.
I was about to cheat on her with a girl who’d torn my heart to shreds.
The thought pulled me away with a fast jerk. I pushed Charlie off me and scrambled to my feet. Heavy breaths punched out of my chest as I tugged my sweater down to hide my erection. It didn’t really work, so I turned my back on Charlie and stared bug-eyed at the wall.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I muttered, pissed off that…
I couldn’t have her.
My shoulders slumped.
That was it. Right there.
She took off and started this whole fucking thing.
I was where I was because she turned her back on something amazing.
And I couldn’t have her because I’d moved on like I was told to.
The good boy.
“Always the good boy,” I seethed.
“What?”
“I’m a good boy.” I scoffed and turned to look at her.
She stood, straightening her shirt with shaking hands. “You don’t always have to be.”
The tiny smile on her lips and the fire in her eyes was all the permission I needed.
I closed the space between us in record time, grabbing her face and finally taking something I wanted. For me. Something for me.