CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Loch
She was gone. Her scent clinging to my sheets was the only thing keeping my mind from telling me it was all a dream. I woke disappointed but somehow deep down I knew she wouldn’t be there. I don’t know why. I had a feeling even after last night we were going to continue to keep each other at arm’s length. The fact that she wasn’t there only reassured that feeling.
I could still taste her on my lips. I could still feel her soft, delicate skin on my fingers. Her moans still echoed in my ears. It drove me crazy. I didn’t know what to do with the empty feeling I had. She came in and turned my fucking world upside down. And yet, I wasn’t completely convinced it wasn’t a dream.
After the most amazing sex of my life, I’d tucked her limp body under the covers. She curled up into me and I was pretty sure she was still too drunk off of her last orgasm to even realize what she was doing. But I didn’t complain. Hell, I welcomed it. I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly. She fell asleep that way. I lay there another hour or so wanting to hold onto the feeling of her there before sleep finally took me under.
I let myself stay lost in those thoughts for a long while. I knew as soon as I got out of bed the reality of everything that had happened would crash back down on me. My phone started ringing, keeping me from putting it off any longer.
“Yeah,” I answered in a gruff tone. I knew it was Cal calling, and I knew why.
“Get here. I’m callin’ church.” He sounded as tired and angry as I felt.
“On my way.” I dropped the call as I rolled out of bed and threw some clothes on.
Ten minutes later, I was pulling up to the clubhouse. The gates were closed, something we hadn’t felt the need to do in a long time. One of the prospects, Dane, was waiting there and pushed it open for me as I rode up. By then everyone had to have known what happened on the run. Cal met me outside and we walked around the back together.
“What in the fuck is goin’ on?” he barked as we stared at the back of the van. There were two bullet holes in the top right corner of the back door. It was almost like this was a warning. The shots weren’t meant to do any harm to the driver or merchandise. I looked over at Cal. We had been around each other long enough to pretty much read the other’s mind. He saw the same things I saw.
“The Dogs seemed spooked, but they didn’t go into detail. We need to talk to them,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “How is Bocca?”
Bocca had been shot. But much like the van, there wasn’t any real damage. The shooter was no armature, that was for sure. Again, it felt like some sort of warning. Bocca had taken two of the four shots fired. The poor guy wouldn’t be able to sit for a while and the one that hit his arm was through and through. Things would hurt like hell for a week or so, but he would be fine.
My stomach clenched tight. Being in the dark about things was never good, and I felt like there were too many things around me in the unknown. First, the shit that is going on with Reagan, and now the club.
“He’s propped up on the couch, loopy on buncha pain meds. The girls are takin’ real good care of him.” He let out a short laugh. “Let’s get in there and get this shit started.” I nodded, taking one last look at the van before turning and heading inside.
Everyone sat around the table. The air was thick and the vibe was antsy. Cal got started right away. He threw out the notion of lockdown. It had been years since we last had one. Things usually ran like a well-oiled machine for us. In the end, the vote was to hold off for now. There didn’t seem to be any danger close to home. We all would be on alert and I was sure most of us would choose to stay closer to the clubhouse when not working. I told my side of everything and so did Crow and Stone. Axe gave a shake of the head not having anything new to add to the stories. None of us saw a damn thing.
After Bocca went down on the run, I waved everyone off and stayed behind. We needed to get the merchandise out of there. Keeping it safe and away if the cops were to somehow show up was the number one goal. I dropped off of my bike and waited. No more shots rang out. When I finally stood, there was an odd calmness in the air. Nothing was around. I ran over to Bocca, who was groaning on the ground. After rushing him to the hospital, I called Cal and let him know what was going on. Cal handled everything else. In less than five hours he showed up at the hospital with Tank and two prospects. He threw me a change of clothes and told me to go home.
“Went to the Dogs house before I left town,” Cal glanced at me and I wondered why this was the first time I’d heard about it. “Place was empty and locked up tight. Looks like they cleared out in a hurry.” He paused, eyeing each one of us.
Shit. Something was going on. I felt like I was on the edge of figuring it out. But everything was hazy like I just couldn’t quite piece everything together.
“Do we think they were the ones who did this?” Stone piped up.
“No, but I think they know who’s behind it,” Cal replied. “This attack was carefully planned out and executed. It was a warnin’. Show us that there is someone out there that knows our business. And I have a bad fuckin’ feelin’ they are goin’ to try and get in it at some point. I wouldn’t doubt if they’ve already taken down the Dogs. There is a corner there on the coast. Someone, I guarantee, wants a big piece of the pie.”
“So we’re in the damn dark, then?” My voice was gruff and I knew everyone could tell I was on edge. Hell, the whole room felt that way. Cal shot me a warning look. I knew I had to keep my head level, but everything about this situation had me on the fringe of losing my shit.
“We keep our eyes and ears open. I’ll let the other chapters know. Gonna suggest we not make the rest of the run just yet. Keep everyone where they are.” Cal’s face was stern. Everyone nodded in agreement. Without information, we had nothing. Best thing to do was to sit back and figure it out.
“I’ll talk to Ethel. You know if there is somethin’ strange goin’ on then she’s the one to know about it,” I said. Ethel always came to me when she saw something was out of place. She was our unknown ears in an unofficial way. She was smart enough to know we weren’t completely legal. And wise enough to not ask questions as well as keep her mouth shut about it.
“Anyone else have anythin’ to add?” The room was quiet. Cal banged his fist on the table ending the meeting. The mood was strained and somber as we piled into the bar area. Most of us drank our beers in silence.
Bocca’s voice filled the big area, lightening the heavy mood with his loopy rants of insanity. He was spouting things that I was sure made no sense to anyone but him. He was sprawled out on his stomach on the couch. Jackass was only wearing his boxers that had candy hearts all over them. And yelling some kind of nonsense about bees trying to befriend him and steal his hair. There were a few giggles that escaped him. It was hard not to laugh at the poor fucker. He’d never live that shit down.
Tammy was hanging around Bocca. I didn’t even give her one glance. I was still pissed at her over what happened while I was away in Tennessee. She had tried a few times to talk to me, but every time I ignored her ass. I may not have claimed Reagan as my own, but she knew what she was doing, and she knew she was in the wrong. Her shit was really starting to make me rethink letting her stay here. However, I didn’t have a good reason to bring it up with Cal. Plus, I knew most of the boys liked her and she treated them well in that respect. I realized it wasn’t too long ago I let her do the same to me.
I could still smell Reagan on me, even through the stale air in the clubhouse. My mind went in so many different directions. Part of me smiled. If I was being honest, I liked being marked by her. I liked that she let me in. And most of all, I liked the way she made me feel.
She had been there for me, no questions asked. She gave me all of her even if it was just for a brief moment. My thoughts drifted to how it would be to have her by my side. How it would be to come home to her and wake to her beautiful face.
The wiser part of my brain shook it off. I was too old. She was too free and headstrong. She didn’t want me. I shrugged the actions of what happened off. It was only because she found me at a weak point and she was such an amazing person she just wanted to make me forget. In a strange way, she was just being a good friend or something. I couldn’t figure it out. And the more I thought about it, the more my head began to hurt.
The club life wasn’t an easy one to live. It suited the lot of us because most of us were damaged or lost or broken in some way. We were seeking loyalty and a sense of family. That’s what you got with the MC. Brothers to watch your back. People that were there for you whenever you fucking needed it. And when you took on an old lady, she became part of that too. Not too many of us had one, but we all treated them with respect. In turn, the women were there when we needed. Like Stone’s old lady, Melody. She was often around making us food and looking out for us. But she also didn’t ask questions and knew the dangers that may come from the things we did. It wasn’t a life for just anyone, and part of me wondered if it would ever work for Reagan.
On the one hand, Reagan was strong enough to handle it. I knew that. She wasn’t afraid and she had a backbone of fucking steel. However, she didn’t seem like the kind of person to let things slide. If she wanted answers, I knew she would go after them, and she wouldn’t back down. It wasn’t a life she deserved. She had the world at her feet and being with me would only drag her down and chain her to this lifestyle.
This was why I never really tried to find someone to stand at my side. Brothers came first. The club was always number one priority. That was how I saw it. Hell, that was how we all saw it. I didn’t ever think that I could split myself into two like that. Juggle the happiness of the club and a woman at home. Maybe I just wanted the simple life. If there wasn’t someone there, then there would never be the situation where I would have to choose. But then there was Reagan. She was turning my world upside down and making me question many of my choices and thoughts.
The thing was, I didn’t know if I liked it or not.