CHAPTER EIGHT
Reagan
I woke to the sound of someone mowing the lawn. I shuffled over to the back window. I practically started drooling at the sight of Nate pushing a lawnmower. His faded jeans hung low on his hips, and his shirt was hanging out of the back pocket of said jeans. I clenched my thighs together at the sight of his sculpted bare torso covered with a light sheen of sweat. I thought he was hot before, but nothing compared to seeing him like that. All his sculpted muscles were on display. He had the well-defined body of a mature man. Tone and rigid. Tan and rough. A tattoo of the club logo covered the left side of his chest. There was something that wrapped around his ribs on the other side. But from my view in the second-floor window, I couldn’t make it out. From the curvy flow of the lines, I would have guessed it was a word or two. My fingers itched to run all over the lines of his ink. He turned and I caught a glimpse of his back. More tattoos covered the top half and wrapped around his right shoulder. A beautiful collage in shades of gray.
He ran his hands through his damp hair, making it stick up in places. It only made him sexier. Thoughts of what he looked like after a good roll in the sack ran through my head. Then I imagined what it would be like to be taken by him. Vivid thoughts of what I wanted to do to that well-defined body stuck in my brain. Dirty, sweaty things. I groaned as my lady parts screamed at me.
I pulled myself away from the window. It couldn’t happen and I needed to shut the desire down.
I watched myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. The circles under my eyes were darker. I knew it would take more makeup to cover them. The bruises were hardly visible, but the evidence of that night still showed on my face. In the exhausted, sunken in eyes. The dullness in the color of my skin. The worried lines etched deep in my forehead.
I sighed and spit the toothpaste out. I knew I couldn’t keep going like this, but what other choice did I have. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I couldn’t pull anyone else down with me.
Nan caught me in the kitchen a little while later. I was drinking a cup of coffee and staring out the kitchen sink window at Nate. I was becoming shameless. I had turned back into a teenage girl drooling wistfully at the poster of her favorite boy band member on her wall. Nan looked at me briefly before pulling out a tall glass. Turning my attention away from the scene out the window, I watched as she filled up the glass with ice then sweet tea.
“Take this out to him,” she said, holding the glass out to me. I snorted and shook my head. “When a man cuts your grass, you bring him a cold drink.” She gave me a pointed look. One that screamed ‘how dare you have no manners’ but at the same time said ‘it’s just the excuse you need to stop staring at him and go talk to him’.
“You’re right. Since it’s your grass he’s cutting, you should take it out to him.” I smirked, proud of myself. She pulled the glass closer to her body.
“Reagan, just as stubborn as your momma.” She paused for a moment. “Look, I’m not gonna say he’s a good guy because I think we both know that isn’t exactly true. That club is into some stuff we will never talk about. But he looks after his own. You won’t find a more decent man than Nathan Loch.”
“Nan, it’s not…” My voice trailed off. I knew the words would never come out strong enough to be convincing. Her eyes went out the window looking at him. Mine followed suit.
“Plus, that man has a tight ass. Could bounce damn quarters off of it.”
“Nan!” Oh my God. I couldn’t stand there and listen to this. She smiled, her sweet but evil all at the same time smile. Her hand rose again, holding the glass out to me. She shook it back and forth, the ice cubes clinking against the side. I rolled my eyes, stomped my foot, then snatched the glass out of her hand.
Nate looked up as I walked down the stairs off of the back deck. His eyes squinted against the blinding sunlight. The mower cut off as he stopped and released the handle. The air became too thick and quiet. The tea was shaking in my hand as I made my way over to him. My heart raced in my chest and I started to sweat, and not from the sweltering heat of the day. I held the glass out to him without a word, making sure to keep as much distance between us as possible. A smirk played on his lips as he reached for it, like he knew what I was doing. His fingers brushed against mine and a shiver shot down my spine.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to,” he said after drinking half of it down.
“Yes.” I folded my arms over my chest. “Yes, I did. It was this or listen to Nan go on about how tight your ass is.” To that, his eyes widened and a short, deep laugh escaped him. The sound sent shock waves through my veins. At that point, I wasn’t even surprised that I found his laugh sexy. My nipples hardened and I was glad they were hidden behind my arms.
His expression turned hard as he took me in. His eyes searched my face. I knew I looked like crap, but he didn’t have to react that way. The nice thing to do would have been to ignore it. He stepped closer to me and I had to tilt my head back to look at him. His free hand came up. The pad of his thumb brushed along the dark circles under my eyes. Then he traced down the lines of my cheekbones and jaw. I held my breath and it took all my focus to keep my eyes from closing at his touch.
“You’re not sleeping.” It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t feel the need to respond. Besides, anything other than a yes wouldn’t have been believable. “Reagan…” he breathed out. I stepped back and grabbed the still half full glass out of his hand.
“Thanks for cutting the grass. It’s nice of you.”
I turned around and did what I do best. I ran and hid. Well, it was more of a brisk walk. I didn’t want to go into it and I knew if I stayed there one more second, looking into his pleading eyes, I would have cracked. I would have spilled my guts and maybe even broken down in front of him. If that happened, he would look at me differently. I felt like I would die if I ever saw pity for me in his eyes. If I told him everything I’d been through and everything I was scared of, there would have been no going back.
And that was something I wasn’t ready for. Hell, I didn’t think I would ever be.