CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Reagan
I started to drift out of the fizzy darkness. I heard beeping as the weird sterile smell hit my nose. I tried to open my eyes but it felt like my eyelids were glued together. Everything hurt. My face and head throbbed. There was a sharp pain in my shoulder and side. I tried to swallow and my throat felt raw and scratchy.
Everything came rushing back to me. What had happened to me. Lance. The violent beating and what he had done to me. But I couldn’t remember leaving the house. I thought for sure I was dead.
Tears escaped out of the eyes I couldn’t even open yet. I felt them leave hot trails down my face towards my ears. More fell as the flashbacks popped up into my mind. Playing over and over again like the worst kind of nightmare.
But it wasn’t a nightmare, it was my reality.
“Reagan, oh dear.” Nan’s voice sliced through the darkness. I felt her warm fingers on my hand and I willed my eyes to open. “Can you squeeze my hand? If you’re awake just squeeze.”
I tried to move my fingers. Finally, I felt my pinky twitch as the fog in my brain lifted a little bit more.
“Let me get the doctor. Hang on, Reagan.” My ears strained to hear what was going on.
I tried again to open my eyes. I didn’t hear anyone else. Where was Nate? Was he the one that brought me here? How long had I been out? What happened to Lance?
“Nate.” His name fell from my raw throat in a harsh whisper, leaving it burning like I had swallowed broken glass.
My eyes cracked open and the bright lights spilled in through the slits making my head throb harder. I swallowed again and tried to adjust to the light. I saw Nan’s blurry figure standing beside me. My eyes fell closed again.
“Dark,” I whispered and a few seconds later the world outside of my lids dimmed.
I looked up at Nan. A nurse came in and went around the other side of the bed, fiddling with what the hell ever was over there. Nan grabbed my hand again and gave it a light squeeze. Everything felt heavy and I wondered if I was sinking into the bed. I wanted the bed to open up and swallow me whole. I wanted the darkness back and I wanted the memories to be gone. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. This would forever scar me and I hated it.
“Miss Turner, I’m your nurse for the day. My name is Tracy. Do you know where you are?” nurse Perky Pants asked. I shouldn’t be mad at her, but her happy voice was grating on my ears.
“Hell,” I replied. If my mouth hadn’t been so dry it would have come out a lot more abrasive.
“Not quite,” she said without missing a beat. I could feel her fucking smile through the choking air in the room. “You’re in—”
“A fucking hospital.” I cut her off. If I were her I would probably want to slap me. But I imagined she was used to dealing with cranky patients.
“That’s right,” she said excitedly and I waited for her to give me a cookie for my job well done. “You’ve been out for quite some time. I’ll let Dr. Anders know you are awake. She’ll be in shortly. Can I get you anything before I go?”
“Water,” I said gruffly. “Please,” I added, feeling bad that I was being a bitch. It wasn’t her fault any of this had happened to me. She gave me a bright smile and moments later came back with a small Styrofoam cup of cold water with a straw in it.
Nan helped me sit up a little more and held the cup out for me to take a sip. The water burned as it went down my throat but the coolness of it felt good. Once I was done, Nan set the cup aside and attempted to fluff my pillows. My head fell back and I struggled to let out a long breath, which sent me into a coughing fit. Which then made my body feel like it was being stabbed with sharp knives all over.
“Where is he?” I asked looking over at Nan.
The fact that Nate wasn’t there when I woke was a huge disappointment. Not that I wasn’t grateful to see Nan’s old, spunky face. Her eyes turned sad. As Nan opened her mouth to say something the door opened and in walked a tall, blonde haired woman much older than me. She was wearing a long white coat and holding a tablet. Her eyes met mine and a sweet smile graced her face.
“Good morning, Reagan,” she said and it wasn’t lost on me how she called me by my first name, like we were old friends.
“How long have I been out?” I asked before she could go into whatever doctor’s speech she had to give me. The cheeriness of her face dropped for half of a second. She blinked and the smile returned to her face, though, not as big as it had been.
“Three days. It’s not uncommon for someone whose body has been through what yours has.” She moved closer to me. I clenched my jaw and it hurt like a motherfucker.
The doctor went on about what had happened to me and what was wrong with me. Apparently, I had a tube down my throat at one point. But it was removed the day before because the swelling had gone down. My mind drifted not wanting to hear it. I knew it was bad. I could feel what was wrong with my body all over. I had fucking lived through it. I should have been grateful for the fact that I had done just that. Lived. But right then I couldn’t seem to think of anything else but what had been done to me. More than anything I wanted to be back in Nate’s bed and wrapped in his strong, warm arms. But he wasn’t even here to hold my hand.
“We’ll monitor you another day. If everything goes as well as it has been, you should be good to go home tomorrow.” I tuned back in as she was finishing. “I’m going to check a few things before I go and then I’ll be back to see you in a little bit.”
“I’m going to step out and make a call.” I cut my eyes over to Nan who was trying her best to slink out of the door. I knew what she was up to without a doubt. And I was pissed.
“Don’t!” I barked, it hurt like hell, and her face held a shocked expression. “If he wanted to know I was awake, he would be here.” I turned my head away from her as the tears began to spill out, again.
The doctor looked down at me with a strange look. Almost like she knew something I didn’t. Did I know her? There was no way I could have. I didn’t have any memory loss and I had never seen her before. Before I could ask her, she turned her attention to the tablet in her hands. After another minute she headed out the door without a word.
Nan sat down and flipped through the channels on the TV. We sat in silence for a long time. The things she wanted to say were probably not things I wanted to hear. The things I was thinking of were things I didn’t want to talk about. So the silence was for the best.
A while later, I asked Nan if she had my phone. She fished through her giant bag of a purse and found it. She told me that Brand found it and made sure it was charged for me when I woke up. I wanted to ask her if he had been here and if he had seen me. I wondered if he was here how long he stayed by my side. A tinge of guilt hit me that I didn’t think of him or Bocca right away. Or Chris. Any of the other guys, really. I powered on my phone and waited. A bunch of new text messages popped up from a few different people. I scrolled through and the one person I wanted to see hadn’t sent one. I sighed.
Brand had sent a bunch. Most of them telling me to get better already. It made me smile for a brief second. Chris had sent me a few and his sounded worried. Bocca and even Diesel had sent a couple. Although, I could tell they were a little weird and awkward, it was the thought that counted.
I decided to send Brand a text letting him know that Sleeping Beauty was awake. I knew I was a far cry from looking like a beautiful princess, but that was the point. I knew he would get it. There was no reply and I figured he was busy with club stuff. I also sent one to Chris saying that I was doing fine, though it was far from the truth. He said he couldn’t wait to see me again and that he missed his buddy. I had never had people that cared about me so much before, and now I had more than I knew what to do with.
Nan settled on reruns of Big Bang Theory. I zoned out and tried my best to give into the laughter. Two shows later there was a soft knock at the door. I turned my attention that way as it swung open. Brand stepped in carrying a stupid yellow duck balloon. He wore a huge smile on his face like I’d never seen on him before; dimples and all. It was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He handed a plastic bag to Nan and the smell of meat and grease filled the room. My mouth watered and I was worried I might be drooling.
“A duck, huh?” I did my best to raise a brow at him. I think my face was still too swollen to get the effect I was going for. He huffed out a nervous laugh and shrugged as his face turned sheepish.
“The get well ones were boring,” he said. “And they had flowers and shit on them. I didn’t want it to take away from my manly look.” I rolled my eyes at him. He tied the balloon to the bathroom doorknob. It was directly in my line of vision. I wasn’t sure if I would love or hate that it would be the first thing I saw every time I opened my eyes. Then he pulled out a container from the bag that Nan had set on the rolling table.
“Are you seriously going to eat that goodness right in front of me?” I asked as he popped the lid open.
“Yeah. I got you a salad, though.” I wanted to smack him but I knew it would hurt me more than it would him.
“I’m going to go get some air,” Nan said as she stood. “Sit.” She said to Brand. Instead of sitting he grabbed the bag, which had another container of food in it, and handed it to her. She smiled at him and said thank you.
“Couldn’t forget about you, Misses E.” He winked at her and I swear she blushed at him. I did my best to laugh and shook my head as she made her retreat out the door. He sat slowly lowered himself down on the edge of the bed. “I used my charming ways to get the cute girl at the counter to cut it up for me.”
He lifted a bitesize piece of burger up to show me. I could just picture how it went down. Him giving her his pretty boy smile. His head tilted down and his big eyes looking up through his long and thick lashes at her. I imagined she had to resist the urge to fan herself and couldn’t even form words to his request.
I took the burger with my fingers and popped it into my mouth. Everything hurt so much that I was half tempted to let him feed me. But I wanted to be a big girl and do it on my own. It wasn’t going to get any easier. He situated the food on my lap for easy access for me.
I studied him while I chewed. Even though he was smiling and talking, I could see he was tired. I wondered if he had even gotten any sleep while I was out. His face had a dusting of stubble. At least he didn’t smell bad, unlike me. We chatted about nothing important as I ate. There was too much food for me to eat and I made him finish it. After we were done, he cleaned up the trash.
“So when are they springing ya?” he asked, wiping his hands on his pants.
“Tomorrow, if all goes well.”
“Alright. I’ll be back then.” He leaned over and his lips brushed my forehead in a sweet kiss. “Get some rest. Call me if you need me.” I nodded.
He waved then headed out the door. Part of me wished he had stayed longer, but I could feel my eyes growing heavy. I barely heard Nan come back in the room before I dozed back off.