CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Regan
Nate had been acting odd all week. There was a significant change in him that stood out. There was no denying that something was different. He hung around the bar when I was working, and he wasn’t hiding away in his office like he seemed to do so often. He was actually out on the floor or behind the bar. Like always, his eyes were on me, but there was something else behind them. Something more. But what? I couldn’t for the life of me put my finger on it. Every time he was near me, he made some excuse to touch me. Then he started doing it, no excuses, just a blatant caress or brush of his fingers with mine. It threw me off kilter. I couldn’t say that I didn’t like it, that was for sure. It was sweet and yet strange. The little gestures had me confused. So much that I became a clumsy and somewhat jumpy mess. I wouldn’t doubt it was because every time he touched me my heart sped up and electricity shot through my veins. Being around him made me dizzy, but having him touch me set me on fire.
I was sure everyone had noticed. He, for the most part, did it when I knew people weren’t looking. But my reaction to it lingered no matter how hard I tried to hide it.
What was I even supposed to think about it all? Confusion set in when I wasn’t around him and my brain could work. He hadn’t made any sexual advances, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it all the time. Up until that point, we’d had a hot and cold relationship going on. We came together when it seemed to be a time of need. I needed to get laid or forget the things that were going on in my head. He needed an escape from what was going on in his head or what was happening with the club. I often wondered if this was going somewhere. But I couldn’t seem to find the courage or the words to come right out and ask him. Since I enjoyed this newly found sweetness, I decided just to roll with it and take all that I could get.
Thursday night was dead. Lately, things had been calmer at the bar. Over the past few weeks, the groups of the brothers seemed to come in smaller clumps. If they even came at all. When they did, only about three or four showed up at a time. The mood was always heavy when they were around. But I had no idea why. I wondered if something big was coming but I knew I wouldn’t be in the loop as to what was going on.
Chris and I sat at the bar playing games on our phones. Everything was clean and organized, and there was pretty much nothing to do. Chris blew out an exacerbated breath beside me and looked up at the ceiling. I felt the same way, completely bored and out of things I wanted to talk about.
“It’s still early,” I said. “Maybe someone will come in and give us something to do. Hey, we should text the boys and demand entertainment.” We both laughed.
“Yeah, I don’t think I have that much weight to throw around,” he said. “But… I can think of at least three that would drop everything and come running for you. Probably more if you sent them a picture of what you’re wearing.”
I scowled, then looked down at my outfit. Okay, so yeah, I had on something a little skimpier than what I usually wore. It may have been that I was hoping to see Nate and have him drool a little over me. I wanted to give him something to think about. And, let me be real, I also really wanted to get laid.
“Bet Diesel would come if you asked,” I said. I bumped my shoulder into his. His cheeks heated a little and I giggled.
“It’s not like that.” He rolled his eyes trying to cover his excitement. “It’s just passing time or changing it up or whatever.”
“Dude, I’m not saying you guys are head over heels in love, but there is something there. I’ve seen the way he looks at you sometimes. That is some serious lusting there.”
“Maybe,” he said with a shrug. “It is what it is.”
“And what is it?” I asked.
“Good. Real fuckin’ good is what it is.” He let out a short laugh. “But anyway, what’s up with you and boss man. You don’t think I see that shit the last couple times I was here with you two?” It didn’t escape me that he was changing the subject. I let it slide.
“I don’t know… the whole thing is weird and I have no idea what’s up. I try not to think about it too much.” I paused for a beat. “He gets my head space all fucked up.” I threw my hands up in frustration.
“Men suck.”
“You do realize you are a man, right?” I laughed hard.
“So we don’t want to talk about shit. Get your damn phone out and get to textin’, woman.” His tone was joking and I shook my head at him but gave into his demand.
I hovered over Nate’s name, almost tapping it three times before deciding against it. I send Brand and Bocca separate texts. I went with the sweet and pleading route with Brand. Then decided that a little flirty and playful would work best for Bocca. I knew I could get at least one of them to come and wished on my lucky stars that they would bring backup. I had grown to love the bar when it was crowded. With the place full the smell of testosterone and leather wrapped around me and made me feel at home. It was weird and I knew it. But I couldn’t help how it made me feel.
Not even five minutes later the rumbling sound of bikes let me know our plan had worked. Chris and I hopped up the stool with an excited bounce like damn kids in a candy store.
Bocca walking in first. His charming personality showing bright as he held out his arms announcing he was there. He was looking better than he did when I saw him right after he was shot. He was walking better, too. I wondered if it was still too early to make fun of the fact that he got shot in the ass. Knowing these guys, I would’ve guessed that there was no grace period for the joking, though. Diesel walked in next, shooting me a chin lift before he glanced at Chris behind the bar. I hugged Bocca before he followed Diesel over to the pool tables. Seven more of them filtered in, some pausing to give me a side hug before heading off. I didn’t see Brand and part of me sagged. We had become close and he always brightened my day. I went around the bar and started grabbing beers to hand out. A few of them ordered shots of whiskey and I made quick work of getting them set up.
Bocca threw his arm around my shoulders once my hands were empty and everyone was happy. He watched Crow line up his next shot with a sharp eye. It felt like an intense game of pool and it had only gotten started. The smell of sex wafted into my nose and I knew it wasn’t me. I shifted oddly and shook my head.
“You could have taken a shower, ya know?” I tried to shrug off his arm but he wasn’t having it.
“Don’t give me that, doll face. I finished real quick so I could come to your rescue.” He winked down at me and I grimaced. I won’t lie though, it made me feel good to be at the top of his list. “Let’s just say, I left a very unhappy bitch lying naked in my bed.” I laughed, wondering which one it was. I secretly hoped it was the head bitch herself. Yeah, I may have still been a bit bitter.
“You’re an ass,” I said smiling. He shrugged like I wasn’t saying anything he didn’t already know. I patted his chest and walked away.
The place was loud and rowdy. The music was cranked up and the hard rock was welcomed to my ears. I walked around and chatted with everyone. Nothing super important, but it was nice to be brought into conversations. I wasn’t lost on me how I felt at ease around such gruff men. Truly, they were all good guys on the inside. I wasn’t fooled though. I knew you didn’t fuck with them. They would fuck you twice as hard. Sometimes the world just worked differently than people thought it should, it’s not to say that it was wrong. There was something amazing about a bunch of people that came together like they did. I admired the way they looked out for one another with no questions asked.
“God dammit, woman!” Bocca yelled and I knew he was talking to me. I snapped my head in his direction as he held up his phone. “Find your fuckin’ phone, won’t you. I love you, but I’m not your damn secretary.” He winked to let me know he was joking.
I scooted off and ran to the bar to check my phone. I had a text message from Nate telling me he needed my help with something in the stockroom. I shoved my phone in my pocket wondering what the hell he could need me for. I looked at Chris and pointed in the direction of the hall. He gave me a nod of understanding before I rushed to the back.
“Nate?” I called pushing open the door. Before I could even step in, hands circled my waist. He pulled me into him, then his hard body pushed me up against the back of the door. “Hi,” I breathed out. He gave me a rare smile and I couldn’t help but give him one back.
My heart raced wondering what he was up to.
His fingers ran down my jaw and over my lips. The light touch of his calloused tips sent shivers down my spine. He bent down and kissed me with a softness that made my heart flutter. I melted into him, my arms going around his neck and my fingers threading through his short hair. I moaned into his mouth and he pushed closer into me as he deepened the kiss. My mouth parted, desperate for him and his tongue darted in to find mine. My head was swimming and my knees threatened to give out on me. As if he sensed it, he pulled his arms tighter around me, holding me up. I felt him hardening and pushing against my hip. I didn’t know how long we stayed there, the world outside of us was lost to me. I could feel his hesitation as he broke away and placing a few light kisses on my bottom lip. His forehead rested against mine. Even in the low light of the room I could see the desire and need swirling in his eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to regain control of my breath and body.
“Hi,” he whispered, smiling again. His breath tickled my still wet lips.
I longed to taste him again but refrained from pulling him back into me. A short, nervous laugh escaped me. I wasn’t used to this Nate and I had no fucking idea what to do with it. That was not to say that I didn’t welcome it. I couldn’t help but wonder how long it was going to last, though. Right now he was on fire and I was waiting for the ice storm.
“What was that for?” My throat was dry and my words came out in a scratchy whisper. I cleared my throat and searched his eyes for some kind of clue.
“I just wanted to,” he answered. “I’ve been thinkin’ about it all day.” My cheeks grew red and I bit my lip to try and control my excitement. The things his words did to my insides. Butterflies. Fireworks. Hell, damn cannons were going off in my stomach.
“Well, it was nice,” I said trying to play it cool. But I was pretty sure I didn’t pull it off.
“Hmmm…” he said like he knew better. He smirked and planted a short, sweet kiss on my lips. “I’ve got to get back to the club.” Disappointment filled me but I tried not to let it show.
“Thanks for stopping by, then.” I untangled myself from him and stood up straight. He grabbed me again and pulled me flush with his body again. Kisses peppered up my neck from my shoulder. I tilted my head allowing him better access, wanting more. So much more.
“I can’t stay here, Rea.” I melted as he breathed his words into my ear. “I’m tryin’ to do this right and if I stay here we both know where it is goin’ to go.” I inhaled a sharp breath at his words. My panties were soaked and I pushed my thighs together to ease the throb.
“Knowin’ that you are wet for me is driving me crazy. I can smell how bad you fuckin’ want me,” he continued. I whined like a desperate slut. When it came to him I was, and I didn’t feel ashamed in the least. “Believe me, I want deep inside of you just as bad as you do. Don’t worry, baby. I’m goin’ to give you what you need soon.” He kissed that spot behind my ear that made me shiver before he pulled away from me. I stepped to the side before he slipped out the door, making eye contact with me until he the door blocked our view.
I paced the back room a few times trying to calm myself down. I didn’t want to go back out there in front of the guys in the heated mess I was in. They were like damn vultures and they would know. I didn’t want to deal with the jokes and catcalls. For the most part, they kept it tame when it came to me. But I knew Bocca would at least have something to say in the loudest way possible. I couldn’t be mad, that was what we did. We gave each other shit the same way siblings would.
The night went by in a blur, Nate’s words playing over and over in my head. I didn’t know what the hell he meant and I had been too caught up in the moment to realize anything. Was he trying to say he wanted more? What was he trying to do to me? What did I even want? If I admitted it, deep down inside, I wanted it all. I wanted him, every part of him. I wanted to know the man behind the hard exterior. I wanted to learn more about the happy-go-lucky boy. I wanted to know how his parents’ death turned him into the man I was familiar with.
Luckily, no one said anything about my dazed state. Maybe I’d pulled it off better than I thought.
The next day I spent hanging out with Nan. She seemed a little down but I had no clue why. I talked her into an all-day bake-a-thon. Which wasn’t all that hard. That woman loved to bake.
We made three different kinds of cookies and only ate about half of them as they came out of the oven. We also went crazy and made dark chocolate brownies and lemon bars. It felt good to relax and hang out with her. I didn’t know much about what to do in the kitchen but hanging around Nan I started to catch on to things. Thank God she was patient with me.
As we were cleaning up from our last mess, I heard Nate’s bike roll up to his house. I bit my lip trying to hide my smile. I didn’t fool Nan, though. She swatted the dish towel at me and told me to go out there. I shook my head. The last thing I wanted to do was to crowd him. If he wanted me, then he could come to me.
There was a loud knock at the door and we both froze.
Ask and you shall receive, I hoped. I dashed out of the kitchen, giddy like a damn school girl as I went to the door. I took in a deep breath and soothed my hair before I pulled it open.
There stood Nate looking sheepish. He was wearing a white t-shirt. His cut hung loose enough that I could see how his shirt clung to him tight enough for me to make out every ripple. I could see the outline of his tattoos under it. His dark jeans were worn and hung just right. The sight of him had my insides fluttering. I was speechless. I couldn’t even croak out a greeting.
“Get dressed, woman.” His voice was low and husky. I swallowed against my dry throat.
“Where are we going?” I asked once I managed to find my voice.
“Clubhouse.”
I blinked at him blankly. I felt like this was a big step. Sure I knew most of his brothers, but now he wanted to take me into their home. It felt like I was going to meet the family. He must have seen the shock on my face because he sent me a warming smile. Then he bent down and kissed my cheek lightly. I felt him smile against my skin as he lingered.
“There’s a party for Tank’s little boy’s birthday,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal. Like I should have known this information.
“Okay…” I gave a slow nod as I processed everything. “Come in. I’ll, uh, be down in a minute.” I moved aside to let him in then closed the door behind him.
“What the hell smells so good in here?” Nate winked at me as he called out like he was yelling to Nan in the kitchen. He headed towards the baked goods as I raced up the stairs.
Up in my room, clothes went flying all over the place as I tried to find the right thing to wear. What the hell was I supposed to wear to a kids birthday party at a motorcycle club?! Oh God, it was too much. I growled as I held up shirts I wore to the bar. I settled on a tight vintage rock t-shirt that dipped low in the front. With my lacy, blue push-up bra, the ladies were on display. I made sure to put on matching panties, just in case they would be seen later. Hey, a girl could hope. I threw on a pair of faded cut-off shorts with worn spots on the front and back pocket. I added a bunch of gold accessories, including a few bangles. I pulled out a pair of black suede platform stilettos that had gray wing tattooed designs on the sides. I checked myself in the mirror before rushing into the bathroom to throw on some makeup.
I wanted to be sexy. Not only for myself, because I believed every girl needed that sometimes, but for Nate too. If he was taking me then I was his guest. I didn’t want to reflect badly on him.
Okay, and I wanted to make his eyes pop out of his head. I made my eyes smoky and added a single layer of mascara. I figured a hint was good enough. I didn’t want it to get tacky in the heat and have my eyelashes get stuck together. Then everyone would wonder about the girl with the funny eyes. I went with a deep red lipstick and left my hair down. Spritzing on some perfume, I gave myself one last look. No turning back now, I thought.
When I made it back downstairs, Nate was in the kitchen with his hands full of cookies. I giggled at the sight of him. He had one cookie dangling from his lips as he attempted to pull it into his mouth without the help of his hands.
“Here, let me help you,” I said pushing it in enough for him to get another bite.
He smiled at me as I popped the tiny bite that was left into my mouth. His look turned dark as he took me in, his eyes scanning slowly down the length of my body and back up. Nervous about his reaction, I bit my lip as he met my eyes. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow and I knew I’d made the right decision with my outfit.
“Have a good time you two,” Nan said breaking our trance. She grabbed the piles of cookies out of Nate’s hands and put them in a clear baggie for him to take. “Now out. I got myself a hot date to get ready for. Might use some of your makeup tips. Judging by Nathan’s reaction, it’s the way to go.” I cringed slightly. God knew I loved that crazy, old bat, but sometimes it was too much.
“Thanks for the cookies, Ethel.” Nate gave her a kiss on the cheek before he turned towards and grabbed my hand and he dragged me out the door. I barely had a chance to wave at Nan before I was outside.
“Wait. Shit!” I muttered. He looked at me with a brow raised in question. “I don’t have a gift. Dammit, Nate, you need to give a girl more warning than this.” He smirked at me walking over to his bike. He lifted the flap of his saddle bag and pulled out something wrapped in boyish looking wrapping paper.
“Got it covered, babe.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.
I could tell by the awkward wrapping that it was some sort of stuffed animal and that he had wrapped it himself. I giggled and poked him in his hard stomach. He flinched slightly and I wondered if he was ticklish. Evil thoughts flooded my mind. I would have to remember to find out later. I rocked up on the toes of my shoes and placed a light kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you,” I said. I wasn’t just talking about his thoughtfulness of the gift.
“Ready?” He mounted his bike and handed me a helmet. I made quick work of getting it on. Then I climbed on behind him, this time not leaving any space between us as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He patted my hand once then headed out of the driveway.
Butterflies swarmed in my stomach. I was going to the clubhouse and I was going with Nate. I wasn’t sure how I should act or what I should do. I was also thrown off a little by the fact we were going to the club for a little boy’s birthday. I hadn’t spent much time around kids, and therefore, wasn’t all that sure how to act around them. Normally, I would say try to watch my language and not do any heavy making out in the open. But then again, these were bikers and I doubted those rules were applied with such strictness. I didn’t have long to over think it. Before I knew it, we were driving through the clubs gate as a prospect I didn’t know waved us on. Nate parked his bike and I slid off and undid my helmet.
“Is it always like that?” I asked jutting my chin to the gate that was now closed. The level of security seemed unnecessary for such a small town.
“Just keepin’ everyone safe.” His look told me not to ask further. He took my hand and pulled me into him. I pushed up on my toes, meeting his lips in a tender kiss. He grabbed the gift then pulled me behind him to the front door.
It was still early in the day and the place seemed a bit quiet. I looked around, taking in the bar and lounge area. A few of the guys were hanging out on the couches arguing over something that was on the TV. When we walked by a few of them turned and offered a nod before going back to what they were doing.
I was nervous and for the life of me couldn’t figure out why. I knew I was safe. Hell, I knew most of the people I would see there tonight. So why did the change of scenery make it feel different? Was it the fact that I was here with Nate? Oh, crap, was I there with Nate. He brought me, but I wasn’t sure what exactly that meant. I shook my head and made myself stop the crazy train of thoughts. I had been good at going with the flow for most of my life, no need to change that now.
Nate never let go of my hand as he led me past the bar and into a giant kitchen area. There were a few people working on food prep. An older woman, with long blonde hair, stopped what she was doing as soon as she saw us. Her smile spread wide on her face as she made her way over to us.
“This must be Reagan,” her she said in an excited tone that somehow managed to calm me.
“Melody, this is Reagan,” Nate said, pulling me into his side. “Reagan, this is Stone’s old lady, Melody.”
He introduced me to the other two old ladies that were there and a tall girl named Jessica. I could tell she was a club girl, but I didn’t feel that she was a bitch like Tammy. I breathed a sigh of relief as they welcomed me. Nate kissed the side of my head and told me that he would be back. He said he had some stuff to take care of and it shouldn’t take long. I nodded understanding that I was to stay with the women. Mel pulled me into the kitchen area and into their whirlwind food preparation. I think at some point I made potato salad. I hoped it tasted alright.
“You’re Ethel’s granddaughter, right?” Jessica asked in a friendly tone.
I had a feeling I was going to like her; although it wasn’t lost on me that Nate had probably slept with her. And most likely more than a few times, too. I pushed the tinge of jealousy out of my head trying to tell myself that it was in the past. And I wasn’t even sure that Nate and I were even really a thing. I had no idea what we were, there hadn’t been any labels put on it.
“Yes,” I replied shortly, not knowing what else to say about it. I was sure everyone already knew who I was and that I had been in town for a while now.
I had no idea how to talk to them. I felt like there was a very thin line on things I should and shouldn’t ask. There were things that I had suspicions on and I also knew better to not say anything about those. But somehow it was like we all knew it deep down inside. A knowledge that almost linked us all together but for the club’s sake, we would pretend otherwise. I was about to ask them the usual bullshit questions you would ask normal people.
But right as I opened my mouth, Tammy and her minions came sauntering in, wearing next to nothing. At least Jessica had the decency to cover up knowing kids would be running around in the near future. I clenched my fist and tried my best not to let her get to me.
“Who the fuck invited this bitch?” Tammy said to one of the other girls loud enough so we could all hear.
I couldn’t even give two shits to try and remember all their names. It bothered me enough that I knew Tammy’s. My jaw ticked and I took a calming breath through my nose.
Melody was right beside me, I saw her look at me as a smirk played on her lips. She cocked an eye brow at me as if telling me I should say something. Looking up, I saw Jessica was standing behind us with her hip cocked out and hand resting on it. It wasn’t lost on me the hateful glare she was giving the group of club girls.
Fuck it, I thought. I wasn’t going to let these bitches push me around. I was done being afraid to step on toes. If Nate brought me here, then he wanted me there.
“Loch brought me.” I figured it was best to show Nate some respect and use it club name while I was there. This time it felt right as it slipped from my lips without the malicious tone I’d used before when I was pissed at him. Tammy’s jaw dropped open and I did a victory dance on the inside.
“Fuckin’ don’t mean nothing,” she snapped as she quickly recovered. “He’ll be beggin’ to get into my holes soon enough. You’re only a stupid phase.” I couldn’t believe she actually said that to me.
“Right,” I deadpanned. “Just as long as you don’t mind that he’s thinking about me while he’s fucking that worn out hole.” I heard Jessica and Melody chuckling beside me as Tammy’s face turned bright red with anger.
“You can go now, Tammy,” Melody said with authority. “The bathrooms need to be cleaned before the party starts. Looks like you all have something to do now.” She addressed the rest of Tammy’s clan. Tammy opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it. She snapped her mouth closed, turned on her heel, and stomped off like an angry child.
“I think you’ll fit in just right,” Melody said pulling me into a side hug. We all laughed and it felt good. I was glad I didn’t back down.
We finished getting everything ready, then brought it out to the back yard. It was an odd little area, surrounded by the building on three sides. Melody explained to me that the two halls on either side of the building were where the guys had rooms. It was nice and also smart the way the back area seemed to be protected. I understood why they’d made it that way.
There were rows of picnic tables with bright colored tablecloths on them. I helped set up the plates and cups, making sure they wouldn’t blow away in the wind. Then I helped set up the food, filling two of the tables completely. Tank and Crow were over by a massive grill and I could smell the hamburgers and hot dogs cooking in the air. I turned around and all of a sudden it seemed like the area was full. Kids of all ages running around chasing each other with water guns. I did my best to stay out of the line of fire, but someone managed to squirt me on my back. I joined in on the laughter. Because what else could ya do? I was about to grab one of the loaded up water guns and start some trouble when Nate found me. He pulled me into his side before placing a kiss on my hair line. I couldn’t help but tuck myself into his side and smile at how perfect we fit together.
He grabbed two beers and handed one to me. We made our rounds talking to everyone, his arm around me the whole time. This was a little odd considering up until today we had pretty much tried to play things cool. I wondered what the sudden change was.