Chapter Fourteen
Sam glanced through the storefront window at the late afternoon sun shining off the midnight-blue finish of her Tahoe parked in a far spot in the lot. “It would’ve been a perfect day for a hike today. Not too hot yet. But great light.” She turned to Lucy, who was perched on the other side of the counter near the register organizing her bills. “Have you checked out the Greenbelt at all? There’s some nice trails there. Sometimes you’ll even spot a deer or two.”
“Haven’t been,” Lucy answered without looking up.
“You know there’s actually some fantastic places just an hour or so north of the city, some in Jersey too.”
“You should have gone today.” Lucy made three neat stacks. “There was no reason for you to hang out here with me all day.”
“I like being with you.” Sam reached for a small square napkin and took a pen from the pocket of her jeans. “I just wish sometimes we could go out and do stuff.”
“Me too.” Lucy let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Sam.” She glanced around the coffee shop making sure none of her customers needed attention. “This is my priority right now.”
“I know.” She bent all the way forward as she scribbled away. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I want to be with you. I want to be outside. I want it all, I guess.”
“What time are we expected at Lexi and Jesse’s?” Lucy asked.
It was almost five thirty, and there were only a few stragglers hanging around in the store. “I think the invite was for six but I’m sure anytime is fine.” She tapped the end of her pen on the counter leaning forward so she could whisper and still be heard when she spoke. Lucy caught her eye and Sam summoned her over with one finger. She gestured at the coffee shop’s customers discreetly with a nod of her head. “Can’t you just kick these guys out? Tell them you’re closing up or whatever. Then we could go to your apartment first.”
Lucy smiled but shook her head. “Babe, I can’t.” She pointed at her pile of papers. “I have stuff to do anyway. Why don’t you go without me?”
“To your apartment? Kinky.”
Lucy shook her head. “I meant to the barbecue.”
“No.” Sam pouted. “I want to go with you.”
“But you’re getting antsy. I can tell. Go now and I’ll catch up.” At Sam’s questioning look, she reassured her. “I promise, I will come as soon as I’m through here.” She leaned in close. “Everything is cleaned up. I’m just finishing my things, and if it hits seven and there’s still people here I’ll close anyway. I’ll be there at seven fifteen the latest.” Lucy leaned across and touched the back of Sam’s hand gingerly with her fingers. “You have my word.” She noticed the napkin Sam was drawing on and turned it toward her for inspection. “What is this?”
“Just playing around.”
“I like it.”
“I was thinking you could do T-shirts, mugs, stuff like that to sell here. I bet there’d be a market for it.”
“With that artwork, I’m sure you’re right.”
“Luce, you don’t have to use this. I was just messing around while I was waiting. Trying to distract myself from what I’m really thinking about.”
“Which is?” Lucy lifted one eyebrow suggestively.
Sam’s smile was hungry, impish, and full of lust. “You know what it is.”
Lucy dropped her glance but Sam saw the color flood her cheeks at her overt implication. She held the drawing with both hands. “Sam, this is really good.” She focused her attention on it. “The coffee cup, the bridge in the background. It’s perfect.” She held it between them. “Can I keep it?”
“Of course.” Sam looked right in her eyes. “I’ll make you a real one though. Like, not on a scrap of paper.”
Lucy nodded, biting her lower lip. “Come here for a second.” It came out as a half question, half command, and she followed immediately as Lucy slipped through the double doors to the back area. “You should go to the girls’ house.” Her back was to Sam as she reached in the refrigerator and took out the cannolis she had made earlier, placing them on the silver workspace next to her. “Take these with you.”
Sam walked up close to Lucy shaking her head ever so slightly. “Nope.” She leaned forward and kissed her neck, quickly working her way to her lips as she lifted her onto the counter. Lucy made a sexy noise as Sam’s kiss deepened. “You bring them. When you meet me there.” She ran her hand all the way down the front of Lucy’s body and let it slip inside the front of her pants for a fraction of a second. “This…” She withdrew her hand and leaned forward to give Lucy another searing kiss. “This we will pick up later.”
“Oh my God, I hope so.”
*****
In a way, Sam was pleased to be at Lexi and Jesse’s barbecue for a few minutes without Lucy. Not that she didn’t want to spend all her free time with her new girlfriend. But it would be nice to catch up with her friends and relax with a drink without feeling self-conscious in front of Lucy. Sam was pretty sure Lucy would be okay with her drinking, but she was happy to not have to worry about it.
“What are you so deep in thought about?” Lexi asked, placing a tray of shrimp cocktail between them as she settled into the chair next to Sam.
“Nothing. Beautiful day, huh?”
“It is.”
Lexi furrowed her brow. “No Lucy?”
“She’ll be here.” Sam reached for a shrimp and dipped it heavily in the cocktail sauce. “She stays open until seven, even on Saturdays.”
“I’m surprised. I didn’t think she would get much business at night without a specific event.”
Sam placed the end of the tail on her napkin as she shook her head. “It makes no sense if you ask me.” She took a sip of her lager. “I get it during the school year. I know she gets a lot of students who come in to do work. But now, when it’s nearly summer?” She curled her mouth skeptically. “I don’t see the point.”
Lexi agreed with a frown. “You guys doing okay?” She was obviously picking up on the tension in Sam’s tone.
“We’re fine. It’s just frustrating sometimes.” She took her time selecting another shrimp. “I want her to hang out with all of us, plus I want to, like, go out with her. You know, hiking, and on real dates. I want her to meet my family even though they’re assholes. The stuff girlfriends do.” She washed her food down with a healthy sip of beer. “But everything is the coffee shop. Which I get, but still.”
Lexi bumped her leg with her own. “Are you bailing?”
“No.” She huffed out a laugh as she put her arm around Lexi’s chair. “The opposite. I want more of her, not less. I just needed to vent for a sec.”
“Good, because I like to see you happy,” Lexi said with a smile. “And you seem really happy these days.”
“This is very true.” Sam knew she had on a cheesy smile. “With the exception of her ridic hours, which is really small stuff in the grand scheme, we’re doing really good. Fantastic, I might even say. I like her. A lot.”
“Are you…?” Lexi let her voice trail clearly hoping Sam would finish for her, but Sam wasn’t giving in that easily.
“Am I…?” she repeated, mimicking Lexi’s tone as she pretended she had no idea what she was asking.
“Sam.” Lexi whacked her. “Don’t play. Tell me.”
“Tell you what?” she teased back, still playing it up. She shifted her attention from Lexi. “Megan!” she called across the small yard as Meg cleared the back sliders. Sam stood up to greet her, completely leaving Lexi hanging. She patted Meg on the shoulder as she passed. “I’m going to hit the head.” Without turning back she called over her shoulder, “Yes, Lex. The answer to your question. A hundred percent yes.”
“What was that about?” Meg said, stealing Sam’s seat.
Lexi shook her head as she reached into the cooler next to her and grabbed a beer for Meg. She held up a Corona for Meg’s approval.
“Fine, whatever.” She took it from Lexi and popped the top off. “Seriously, Sam just looked like the cat who ate the canary. What did I miss?”
“She’s in love.”
“Great.” Meg’s voice came out sarcastic, but Lexi knew it was all envy.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” she ordered good-naturedly. “Be happy for her. Her whole last year sucked. And honestly, I’ve never seen her like this.”
“I am happy for her.” Meg cracked her knuckles loudly. “Who needs girls anyway.” She nodded emphatically. “I am going to throw myself into work. Then I’ll get promoted and the ladies will lay themselves at my feet.”
“How’s that going?”
“The girls?” Meg shook her head in dramatic fashion. “Nil.”
Lexi ignored her joke. “I meant your promotion race.”
Meg shrugged. “Who knows?”
“Is that where you were all day? I saw you leave your house at, like, six o’clock this morning.”
Meg took a sip of her drink to shield her smile. “No, I went in to the city to help Sasha with a thing at the rescue mission.”
“I thought that was a while ago?”
“It was.” She diverted her eyes. “There was another one today.” She used the bottom of her beer bottle to make a pattern of rings on her worn-out jeans. “It was nice. A lot of pets got homes. It made me feel good.”
Lexi made a dramatic show of looking around her empty yard. “You know who you’re talking to, right?” She wagged her finger slowly. “Do not try to tell me this is about baby cats or puppies or whatever.”
“What?” Meg let the word roll out in playful disbelief. “Honestly, though, I enjoyed it in a way I really didn’t expect.”
Lexi tilted her head to the side and waited for Meg to meet her eyes. “You could have invited her tonight, you know.”
“Who?”
“Don’t you who me,” Lexi quipped, shaking her head.
“I’m just kidding.” Meg punched her shoulder playfully. “Thank you for letting me know she’s welcome. I do appreciate it.” She chewed her bottom lip. “I wonder if she would have come.”
Lexi gave her a look that was pure disbelief, Meg recognized it right away.
“I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t know.” She shrugged, bringing her drink to her lips. “I have no idea what we’re doing, if I’m being honest. Sometimes it feels like friendship. Sometimes not so much.”
“What was she up to tonight?”
Meg leaned forward in her chair, frowning as she pushed around a gravelly pebble with the toe of her sneaker. “She didn’t mention anything.”
“Because”—Lexi waited for Meg to look at her—“she was hoping you would ask her to hang out.”
“You think so?”
Lexi rolled her eyes. “Yes, Meg. Obviously.”
Meg wasn’t convinced. She closed one eye and peered into her beer watching the small foam bubbles dissipate as they came in contact with the sides of the glass bottle. “I don’t know.”
“She’s been texting you. You two spend every Saturday morning together apparently—”
“Just two.”
“So far. She came to see you at Sullivan—”
“She came to get a letter of recommendation.”
Lexi shook her head. “Not buying that, either.” She held up one finger. “Don’t even get me started on the night we saw her at Roaring Twenties. And I was with you at trivia night. I saw the flirting first hand.”
“There was no flirting.”
“There were flirting undercurrents.” She held out her hand, effectively stopping Meg from speaking. “Everyone can see she’s into you. There’s, like, no debate. The only question is how you feel about her.”
“First of all, I’m not sure I agree with you. It feels very”—Meg moved both hands in small counterclockwise circles as she searched for the right word—“friends-ish, a lot of the time.”
“But not all the time.”
“Yeah, but maybe that’s just me speculating. Or being attracted to her.”
“Or her wanting to be with you and you picking up on it.” Lexi pulled her hair into a bun. “You haven’t answered the question, FYI.”
Meg let out a little laugh. “And what was the question, exactly?”
“Assuming I’m right, which I know I am, how do you feel about Sasha?”
Meg met Lexi’s eyes and held her gaze, hoping if she stared long enough she wouldn’t have to put such a complex set of emotions into words, but Lexi wasn’t letting her off the hook so easily. Lexi raised one eyebrow as she waited, the silent gesture a demand for the truth.
“I don’t know.” Meg tipped her head back and took a sip of her drink letting herself get lost in the late-day clouds. “Of course I still have feelings for her. But I can’t let that get in the way. I mean, she is who she is. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, right? And this friendship is…nice.”
“That is the second bizarro cliché thingy you’ve used since you got here.”
“What?”
“Before.” Lexi pointed at the sliding glass doors. “When you got here, you made a comment about Sam looking like the cat who ate the canary, and now this.” She brushed Meg off with a wave of her hand. “And you don’t know anyway. Maybe they do.”
Meg shook her head not following. “Maybe they do, what?”
“Maybe a leopard does change its spots or whatever that stupid expression is.”
“They don’t though, it’s impossible. Hence, the expression.”
“Well, Sasha isn’t a leopard. She’s a fucking person. And people do change.”
Meg rolled her shoulders. “Doesn’t matter anyway.”
“What doesn’t matter?” Sam asked the question as she shuffled into the yard carrying another tray of appetizers. Jesse followed two steps behind, with the chips and guacamole. She was obviously waiting to be filled in as well.
Lexi checked Meg’s face for permission and Meg gave it to her holding both arms outstretched and giving over the floor.
“Meg’s in a tizzy because she has this new friendship with Sasha.” She put the word in air quotes as she continued. “Which is nice.” She paused to ensure her summation was making the grade. Meg nodded, so she went on. “But Meg’s concerned that she may be feeling something more than friendly toward Sasha”—she held her hand up ramping up the drama as she continued—“because of their history and the fact that they were madly in love and had unbelievable sexual chemistry.”
Meg almost choked on her drink. “I didn’t say any of that.” She wiped her mouth stifling a laugh in spite of being embarrassed.
Lexi grinned. “I know, but they deserve to know the truth.” She lifted her shoulders and puckered her lips. “And you gave me license to recap it for you. You know I’m gonna tell it like it is.”
Sam raised her hand to get some attention. “Let me just make sure I understand this.” She settled on the bench seat at the backyard table and grabbed a chip from the bowl. “Sasha, that’s her name? This is the one I met a few months back, the night we all went out dancing? The girl who came all the way from Manhattan to play trivia with you at Lucy’s?” She scanned their faces. “Same person, yes?”
Meg nodded in response.
“Look, Meg. I may have missed a year and everything. But let me say this. The one time I saw her with you…” She paused and loaded some guac on her corn chip. “She doesn’t want to be your friend. You can believe me or not. But I’m good at reading people.” She held the nacho ready to devour it. “Girls, in particular. And that girl, she is not looking for friendship.”
Meg looked at Jesse, hoping for an ally. “Jess, a little support?”
Jesse simply shook her head. “You know how I feel about this, kid.”
Meg nodded, even though she really didn’t know Jesse’s perspective. Suddenly, this party was starting to feel like an intervention. “Enough about me, what’s new with you guys?” Meg asked, hoping to turn the conversation in a completely different direction.
Right away Jesse and Lexi exchanged a look and Meg couldn’t help but smile for her friends. If she’d taken a step back from her own ridiculous drama, she would have seen this moment coming and she felt guilty at having dominated so much of the conversation.
Her friends played it off for the time being, waiting until well after Marnie and Chris joined the party and Lucy had arrived bearing her awesome desserts. Glasses were filled and the group was lively and spirited. And finally, when the sun was about to set, Lexi summoned everyone’s attention as she stood at the head of the outdoor table.
“So, I guess you’re wondering why we called you all here,” she said, getting some mild laughter from her moms as she recycled an old family joke. Her smile was enormous and her dimples popped on both sides. “I mean, you’ve probably all figured it out by now, but just in case…” She looked at Jesse, whose expression was a combination of excitement and pride as she held Lexi’s hand. “We’re having a baby.” Her voice squeaked with excitement as she said it out loud. Her parents were the first to jump up and congratulate them, but Meg was a close second. Of course Lexi was right—no one was truly shocked, but there were smiles and toasts and Meg was touched to be part of something so special.
Even hours later when she was home, tucked under her covers, Meg still felt a buzz running through her limbs. What a great night. Goddamn, if there was only one thing missing. She shut her eyes, willing the thought out of her mind while she clutched the extra pillow tight, certain that in the safety of sleep Sasha would be right next to her all night.
*****
Sam awoke to Lucy’s gentle lips on her cheek. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s naked body. “I hate your hours,” she whispered in Lucy’s ear.
“I know,” Lucy whispered back. “You tell me every day.”
Sam kept her eyes closed but found Lucy’s lips just the same. “The worst part is I love morning sex.” She fake pouted. “And I never get to have it. It’s so sad…”
“And here I thought”—Lucy slipped her hand between Sam’s legs over her boxers—“the worst part was that you wanted to go hiking with me.” She rubbed gently. “Now I don’t know what to believe.”
“Believe that what you’re doing there”—she looked between their bodies—“is getting me going.” She moved Lucy’s hand away but she came right back. Sam let her stay even though it was torture. She moved a lock of hair from Lucy’s face. “How about instead of Pilates today, you let me take you to High Rock Park. It’s really nice there.”
“I would, but I have therapy today. Not Pilates.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Okay,” Lucy answered in a breathy voice, her fingers getting greedier by the second.
“I’m going to have to stop you.” She stilled Lucy’s hand with her own.
“Please?”
“I thought there wasn’t time.”
“There’s always time.”
Sam flipped them quickly and went straight for three fingers as they kissed. It had been a long night full of sweet sensitive sex. She wanted this to be different. Lucy was already wet, and she slipped in easily.
“Fast, babe. Okay?”
“I know,” Sam answered, already fucking Lucy pretty hard. She felt her tighten around her fingers and knew she was going to come. Even though they were pressed for time, she pulled out for a second. When Lucy whimpered at the loss, Sam encouraged her, lifting her legs up so that her ankles were on her shoulders. She slid two fingers inside Lucy, but with her body weight behind her, she went in much deeper than before.
Lucy gasped. “Fuck, Sam.”
Sam looked down at her. She could tell it was working for Lucy but she asked anyway. “Are you okay?”
Lucy could only nod as she bit her lip and threw her arms over her head in a kind of surrender. Her breath was fast and ragged until she let out a moan from somewhere deep in her belly as she clenched against Sam’s fingers. She stayed that way for several long seconds, her muscles tight and rigid, holding Sam in place until she finally relaxed, her entire body going limp under Sam.
“You should go.” Sam brushed her lips against the shell of Lucy’s ear, placing a sweet kiss there.
“No way.” Lucy licked her lips and appeared to use what was left of her energy to snap into action. She motioned Sam toward her but when she sat up on the edge of the bed, Lucy touched her shoulder urging her back down onto the mattress. Lucy reached for the waistband of her boxers and stripped them off as she dropped to her knees next to the bed.
Sam could already feel Lucy’s breath against her and it almost hurt to say the words but she knew her girlfriend had priorities, and she wanted to respect them. “Babe, you’re going to be late.” She propped up on her elbows and reached down, putting her hand on Lucy’s cheek to guide her back up.
Lucy kissed her palm, smiled devilishly, and took Sam’s thumb in her mouth. All the way in her mouth, and it caused her to groan. Lucy licked all the way down to the tip and kissed the end, before lowering her gaze. “I certainly am.”